Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Ten Reasons I'm Always Taking Pictures

Besides being one of the most sentimental packrats this side of the US (yes, my friends and family are pretty awesome, as I mention from time to time), I've come up with a few other reasons that I am always blinding you with my flash bulb...

1) I need to remember you when you’re dead, likewise maybe you will remember me when I’m dead too. Ok, that’s cryptic. But, it’s nice to have pictures of the people I love who have passed on scattered around my house…it’s a reminder that they’re always with me, and also reminds me to never forget them.

2) Pictures made me find my dad again. The pics of my dad and I when I was a little kid made me realize something was off in all those stories my mom told me over the years about him being a monster…I always looked quite happy and ‘safe’ with the big 6’4” goofball…indeed, my intuition was correct and now I have the goofball, and his bad jokes, at my disposal any day of the week.

3) Reminders of what happened in Vegas, those crazy parties, and OSU football games where tailgating started too early.

4) Pictures make cheap decorations…and nothing is better than coming home to a bunch of your friends and family smiling at you from table tops and dressers.

5) Proof for my future children that Mommy embraced life on every level…just as they hopefully will too, when I decide to have these future children that is.

6) Validation when I go back and look at pics of ex-boyfriends and realize, “Wow, thank God I didn‘t marry that one!”

7) Validation when I go back and look at pics of ex-boyfriends and realize, “Ok, I get it right every now and then.”

8) Pictures make the best presents…I give them as gifts often.  Oh, and just in case you are wondering what to get me for holidays and my birthday.

9) I have to keep filling my ‘Favorite Photos of All Time” album with pics of the people I love…that album captures the absolute joys of my life.

10) For every ten crappy pictures I take, there is one true gem that will make me and others laugh and smile and remember the good times. So next time I am around, just sack up, smile, and say, “Cheese!” I promise to not shout out, "OMG, this is sooooo going on Facebook!"

Monday, October 19, 2009

A Harmless Thought Before Running Another 4 Miles...

Running with my dog past houses tonight that smell like fabric softener and dinner, thinking...someday I will truly, TRULY want that.  But for now, I just want flat abs for my Halloween costume, the freedom to stay out until 4 am on the weekends, and the ability to leave this town or state whenever I see fit.  But don't worry dad, I'll probably change my mind sooner rather than later...or at least I'll think about it :).  

Monday, October 12, 2009

Classy Man Awards for a Random Portland Weekend…

This weekend we saw the toast of fine men in the Portland area. I’ll share some stories of what‘s available out there for all you lovely ladies:

Honorable Mention: All the men at Space Room. From the dude who bought every girl with two legs a drink (thanks buddy)… to the random North Salem High Alum who looked at the ring on my right hand and then said, “Wait, which one is your wedding finger, are you married?”… to the guy who wouldn’t let me out of the booth at the next bar until I gave him my phone number… to the guy who had a girlfriend, but told me, “If I didn’t, DAMN!” Yea, that’s what he said and then he gave me a hug goodbye that totally creeped me out AND came to the next bar with us. Okay, he was actually nice, but, a 30 second hug for a girl you just met WHEN you already have a girlfriend…uh, too long. You all were somewhat cute and maybe just not so classy. Good job men. And Seth, your bar is fun!

Bronze Medal: My newly married friend Court recognizes a guy at Blitz Ladd on Saturday night. They piece together that he is the friend of a guy she dated (very briefly) almost five years ago. This guy introduces his girlfriend as his girlfriend, but then, apparently too drunk to remember, introduces her again as his future wife. The girl starts shrieking, “Oh my Godddddd, that’s the first time you’ve ever called me that!” and continues to be ecstatic. Guy asks Court if she still works at Victoria’s Secret, she says no…she hasn’t for YEARS. I walk up, he asks me if I work there. I say no. He states, “Well, you could be a Victoria's Secret model,” all the while making his hands air draw the hourglass shape of a girl. Creepy. Luckily Creepy’s girlfriend is down at the other end of the shuffleboard table. Then, creepy guy decides to call Court’s ’very brief ex beau’ on his cell phone to let him know we’re there. “Dude, guess who is standing next to me right now man!!!” I’m surprised he didn’t hand Court the phone. Classy, classy, classy.

Silver Medal: Same night, different man…this one a good friend of mine who has drunk texted me for four years and often lets me know how much “I f‘ing love you“ and “you rock Chait” via these text messages. How a guy can have a huge crush on a girl he still calls by her last name is foreign to me. Anyway. We arrive at Blitz not knowing he’s there, but he IS there with the Girl He Doesn’t Really Like but can’t figure out how to dump for good. I know this because we go out to eat once or twice a month and catch up on all the gossip in our lives. So, I am very careful not to do much more than say hello, even though he’s a good friend. Well, there’s two shuffleboard tables, and Good Friend and I end up on the same end. This doesn’t serve Girl He Doesn’t Really Like very well and she starts getting mad. Good friend and I create a pretend wall and don’t even look at each other while we’re talking. “Sorry you’re in the dog house bud,” I say while shooting a puck down the board. “Dude, it’s not your fault,” Good Friend says back. Well, Creepy Guy is still creeping Court out, I’m slowly starting to feel like The Other Woman as Girl He Doesn’t Really Like keeps getting angrier, though I have never done a thing to compromise their relationship, so we decide to leave. I get a text (or twenty, but who’s counting) about an hour later. “I got punched in the eye.” “Oh no, what happened,” I reply. “Told the GF I loved you and got punched.” “Bud, you may want to wait until sober to have such discussions and maybe go easy.” “Yeah, my bad. But the punch hurt.” Really, I love this guy (just not in that way) and hesitated to tell this story, but, come on buddy…you soooo deserved to get punched.

Gold Medal: Back to Space Room. There is a guy there in an argyle sweater that is way too short, pants with bunchy ankles, and Vans. I comment that his outfit is a little off…turns out the dude I am talking to is his buddy. “Oh, he just got back from Argentina, that’s why he’s dressed that way. He’s really cool though.” Umm, no…and here is proof: My girlfriend Gwyn recognizes him. So, she walks up to him and says, “You look really familiar. I think I know you from somewhere.” His reply…”Yeah, you look like my type. Did we f**k?!” She quickly realizes (maybe from the dumbass comment) who this idiot is…he was wasted downtown once and tried following our girlfriend into her condo and then tried making out with her. Some friends grabbed him and threw him out into a cab. Cooper, you are one lame ass Gold Medal winner.

Maybe next weekend will be better.