Sarah's Moments...

Instant Reactions to A Bunch of BS (And A Bunch of Good to Balance That Out):

2011-11-03T18:00:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile, and dad has been impatient for a new post, so, herrrrrre we go...

:( Stupid words: Go away. I don’t want to hear delish, spork, yummy, or slang words on the news or Facebook anymore. Full words are awesome, and simply using forks and spoons. And if you are over 30 and still using your Facebook as a pedestal for the world to know EVERYTHING about your every move, well, deactivate your account for a few days and see who actually pays attention to you, THEN spend more time with them than on Facebook.

:) Sundays: I am growing to love you while sleeping in, laying in bed until almost noon, watching movies, and the all important Dockside breakfast with whoever shows up before 1:00. Thanks.

:( Kim Kardashian: If you divorce someone after 72 days, don’t take the advice of your fame hungry mother and keep the 20 carat ring. Return it to the poor sweet guy who got kidnapped by your bullshit family for profit. And you pretty much suck too…stop dipping your face in a bowl of makeup every morning, get your family to break the professional relationship with Ryan Seacrest, and go live a quiet life in the Swiss Alps or something. We would all be MUCH better off.

:) Snowboarding: You are the only reason I will likely survive winter in Oregon again this year. Big shout out to Chris Wade for forcing the sport on me a few years ago.

:( Occupy Portland: Yea, there was a point to this. But smoking tons of weed, allowing the whole homeless population to migrate in, and costing my county tons of tax dollars when I already got my ass kicked by the new state biennium contract just doesn’t sit well with me. Regroup, rethink, and figure out a more productive way to prove a point…soon! And trust me, I am liberal as all Hell, but something about this just drives me nuts.

:) Mexico Roadtrip: I really look forward to you next week, laying on beaches, and allowing Bailey Dog his first international trip ever at the age of 11 years 8 months. Going to be a great time.

:( Reality TV: So, this awesome show called The Buried Life about some do-good teens who do positive things and raise money for a bunch of good got scrapped by MTV to make way for more Snooki, mindless hookups, and salaciousness. Bummer.

:) and :( Halloween: This is the first year I actually put a true effort into Halloween. And, I actually liked it. Though I still don’t understand how all our costumes went from full coverage to bare asses.

:( Cavalia: I am sorry, I don’t like your tents in my hood, and from the commercials, your show looks like a bad combo of Lord of the Dance and a horse circus from Hell. I will skip this for certain.

:) It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia: Having no cable resulted in me finding this awesome show on Channel 9. How did I miss this for five years?!

:( Beaver Football: %***@#WTF#**ARRRRRRGH!!!!!! Need I say more?!

:) Friday Morning Hikes: Rain or shine in scrubby clothes and a ponytail with two awesome mutts…couldn't ask for anything better.

;) So, Dad: I finally wrote a new blog post! Maybe I will get another one done before 6 months pass.

Sitting On a Bridge, Contemplating the Unknown...

2011-05-25T22:11:00.001-07:00

I started this on my phone Sunday evening while waiting to get over a bridge to my parents’ house for dinner. Sat in my idling car a while as the boats passed through, and here is what I managed to scribble down in that time, with a little more added…

If I knew exactly what my life will look like three years from now, would I be living it differently or just keep going with the grand adventure? I’m applying for and interviewing for new jobs, rejoined the world of caring about what the opposite sex thinks of me, and am being as active as I can to avoid going stir crazy. I am at the point again where I want to know all the answers to what my ‘near future’ life will look like. “Patience is a virtue and I want it now!” This quote keeps ringing in my ears.

This said, maybe the excitement should remain in the unknowing: Will I get my dream job? Leave the state (both agency and actual rainy Oregon) prior to deciding that I’m settling down? Could Bailey help raise a new puppy prior to his death (still a few years away at least), or will he retire to my parents? Will I finally win the lottery, fall upon a huge inheritance, or sell all my stuff so that I can go do full time philanthropy work and stalk the super hot TOM’s Shoes founder (whose name is Blake, not Tom)?

Actually, I just read through a lot of my blog over this past week and realized…I’ve asked many of these questions before, always to end up landing on my feet with new awesome additions, twists, and turns.

I guess not knowing isn’t so bad, and probably a good thing for me at the moment…for all of us, for that matter. If we knew exactly what tomorrow looked like, we would possibly get apathetic, less passionate about what we want, and a little bit entitled...

Oh, up until quite recently, I probably confused the shit out of any guy who tried to compete for my attention against the fall to spring on and off other half. I apologize for that, and have to some of them already. Many caught on, seem to have forgiven my sporadic-ness, and forged on with the idea of friendship. I’m still about 25% jaded at the moment, but, it shall pass. And on that note…when it comes to the opposite sex, listen to your damn friends…they are typically 95% right, 12% wrong, 47% going to trash him and say, “you’re too hot for him,” or “he’s a douche,” and “umm, I’m available if you want a boyfriend now,” AND 35% are just going to say, “Go for it and I will be here on the other side when you crash and burn from that disaster.” Thanks to all my friends who offered me many variations of the mentioned support forms… ya all are the best.

And with that, please remember that I fearlessly hit ‘POST’ after writing all this (and for the past six years) to remind anyone else out there having the same exact thoughts that you’re not the only one. Life is a trip…we stand, fail, cry, smile, love, succeed. Enjoy life with every ounce of your heart, minimal fear, and no regrets while you still have it. May hurt a little more, but it may bring bigger rewards as well...

And Aly and Taryn approved this message...

Spring and Summertime Goals

2011-03-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

Float the Clackamas more than once ~ Hike every trail in Forest Park ~ Camp at least three weekends (including one at Spark’s Lake) ~ Find my tiara ~ Cook more than I eat out ~ Sit in the sun on my porch A LOT ~ Sit in the sun on decks at restaurants around Portland A LOT ~ Run to the waterfront and back a dozen times (at least) ~ Go on a whitewater rafting trip ~ See a play at the Shakespeare Festival in Ashland ~ Admit that I am a snob for driving my own car to the family trip in Coeur D’alene and Leavenworth ~ Wear a dress at least twice a week ~ See some summer concerts ~ Keep walking to the beat of my own drummer ~ Believe it’s all going to happen the way I want it to ~ Hike a mountain side or two ~ Have a blast at every First Thursday and beer and food festival ~ Leave the state more than once ~ Maybe even leave the country ~ NOT be in a wedding for once ~ Kayak ~ Win the lottery…preferably a big one ~ Climb on real rock outside and maybe master a couple tough indoor climbs ~ Walk instead of drive whenever possible ~ Find a cheap bike so I can be ‘sooooo Portland’ ~ Never pretend that I don’t care ~ Wear my sunscreen instead of trying for an ‘Oregon’ tan ~ Be the sober girl on the crazy summer boats (most of the time) ~ Read a book, or seven ~ Catch up with everyone who will be coming out of winter hibernation to play… Seriously, hunt me down this spring and summer if there are adventures to be had… I want to partake in as many as possible!

33 Ways to Be Happier Than Yesterday (For Year 33 of Course)

2011-01-25T13:10:00.000-08:00

See smile and laugh lines as a sign of a life well lived rather than as wrinkles ~ Don't dwell in the negatives of your past or the pasts of others ~ Throw blankets ~ Hug goodbye more often than handshakes ~ Be ok with being super sentimental and keep pics of loved ones all around ~ Have an awesome dog ~ Try new things no matter how old we get ~ Continue to make new friends and be able to let go of the crappy ones ~ Say thank you as often as merited ~ Say 'I love you' as often as possible ~ Don't smoke cigarettes ~ Watch your alcohol intake if you’re in a bad space ~ Get out of town when you can ~ Eat stuff that may not be good for you now and then ~ Stay active to balance it out ~ Don't be afraid to open your heart to those who may deserve it ~ Learn to love again even if you think it's going to be hard ~ Enjoy art, live music, and culture ~ Live life with less fear…maybe even none ~ Don’t always stick to a routine ~ Find something (or someone) to believe in…whoever or whatever that may be ~ Learn to say no more often ~ Learn to say yes more often ~ Love someone like they may not be there tomorrow ~ Give second chances, but not too many past that ~ Get lots of sunshine ~ Have more faith in yourself ~ Have more faith in others ~ Forgive and forget ~ Remember and appreciate ~See as much of the world as you can ~ Always remember how beautiful or handsome and loved you are ~ Have a theme song…

The Right Hand Ring...

2010-11-15T19:27:00.000-08:00

I wear a ring on my right ring finger that was given to me by an incredibly terrible person. I am quite comfortable saying that he was ‘an incredibly terrible person’ because, well, he treated me like absolute crap and always tried to cry his way out of shit when I called him on it. Anyone who is pretty close to me knows the story of this man, and know that while he and I were together, I second guessed myself literally everyday…multiple times. He mentally beat me to the ground, and it took a Hell of a lot of amazing people to pick me back up once I came back to Oregon in 2007.

So, the ring…it is actually kind of a nuisance. It’s not completely sealed around my finger, so it gets caught on things like the rim of the washing machine, towels, doors…literally almost broke my finger once (or twice) because of it. I sold the bracelet and earrings that were also given to me with the ring, donated the necklace to a charity for kids with cancer. But, I just can’t part with this last little piece of silver.

I was on a boat one day with friends, and Benny looked down at my finger and asked, “Who gave you that Tiffany ring?“ I replied, “How‘d you know it was a Tiffany ring?” Apparently, he‘d bought his ex the same one. “I got it from an ex,” I said. “Well why the hell do you wear it then? I will swallow it right now if you let me!” I laughed and replied, “It reminds me everyday of who I am worth.” To this he said, “Well, when you find the right one, melt it into a piercing.” I responded, “No, I am going to throw it into the Goddamn ocean!”

So, I had a boyfriend a couple years ago who called it the “I hate men ring” because if I was mad at him I would wear it. In retrospect, that seemed a little bitchy, so now I just wear the thing all the time…literally never take it off. I mean, it’s better to have a constant reminder of the things I don’t want to put up with than a passive aggressive insult to the men I date. That one was actually a really nice guy, just didn’t have his shit together…and sadly, that is one of the things that I need…is for someone to have their shit together.

So, that’s the end of my story. I really don’t care to share more at this time. But to all my ladies, who put up with a lot of shit (well, and men too I guess). Take some time to really think about what you are worth in a relationship. Don’t put up with bullshit, don’t let someone take you for granted, don’t feel bad if you do exactly as you are asked or wished to do and then get flak for it. The person who deserves you will come along. They will allow you to be you, take you for who you are, not buckle under pressure, not care if you pour your heart out, not worry about fear. They will lift you up and not play games, they’ll be your biggest cheerleader on the crappiest of days. They’ll make you want to throw your reminder in the ocean for good, with no regrets. They’ll share their deepest darkest fears with you and relish in learning yours too. Find something that reminds you everyday that you are one Hell of an amazing person, worth everything that all your friends tell you that you are.

And with that, I am going running, because it has just been one of those days…

Remembering We’re All Effing Beautiful, Including Me (aka, My Single Summer)

2010-08-29T23:21:00.000-07:00

I’d like to preface this post by saying, there’s a good chance some of this will be met with disdain, some of it will sound hypocritical, and a bit of it will make my dad wish he could go ahead and ground me since he never had a chance to while I was growing up. But, I’m okay with that, because, well…if you know me, you know I’ve never had a problem being a shameless ass at times…

A couple months ago, I wrote a post titled We’re All Effing Beautiful. This summer has challenged my thoughts on this concept incessantly…and I really don’t like it. Don’t get me wrong…this is my first true single summer in eleven years, so it‘s been a different perspective for me to experience summer…

1) Through the eyes of a girl who people KNOW is single AND

2) Along with all those other crazy people who are also single (and some, just insanely out of control).

Yes, for 2010, I took KnowGood‘s advice (voluntarily and involuntarily to tell you the truth) and threw down a single girl summer. All in all, it’s been pretty fun despite me questioning what the Hell I’m doing about once every three days. There’s been free entry into clubs, free drinks, free everything along with my girls at Brew Fest after flashing doe eyes and flirting, a handful of fun days on party boats, prancing around with cute boys, way too many late nights, and a legion of other trouble better kept quiet since my father regularly reads this blog.

So, some thoughts:

The Runway Walk: I showed up for a fashion show of a friend’s friend recently, expecting to watch the show. The designer eyed me as I walked into the club, instantly grabbed my arm and dragged me toward a makeshift dressing room while shouting, “I need you for my show!!!” As she tossed dresses at me to try on, referring to me as a model, I mentioned, “Um, I’m not a model by the way,” to which she quickly responded, “No, yes, yes you ARE a model!” I was petrified. I quickly realized that girls in the room who looked like legit models were also petrified, nervous, and questioning if they had the guts to do this. After a shot and a drink to calm my nerves, some professional photos with the rest of the girls, and a walk down a long red carpet runway twice, I realized, “Damn, that was actually really fun.” And the compliments after were pretty great too.

The Boats: This summer included multiple texts from buddies and girlfriends to come out on party boats. The men always request to “bring as many cute girls as you can.” It’s irritating, but, they’re on a mission as much as the rest of us I suppose, and we oblige them. Then you get on the boats and watch the silicone bouncing, the cat fights ensue over ‘shared‘ boyfriends, and girls ditz about as if men think brains aren’t sexy…when most of the men, after their initial boob fixations wear off, tend to gravitate toward the women who can actually carry a conversation. One guy on a boat early in the season actually said, “Wow, you are really sharp,” after I used sarcasm to address something he’d said...perhaps not a typical ’dialect’ for some of the regulars? Not to say that some of the beauties and silicones on the boat aren’t smart, but, I saw many fine ladies act as stupid as they could this summer while boding for male attention. I actually pulled up the bikini bottom on a (literal) stripper whose ass was hanging out and said, “Keep those pulled up,“ to which she giggly replied, “But it’s supposed to look like that, hee hee hee hee,“ and then continued her stripper ‘ass hanging out’ dancing on the bough. Some of the guys mentioned that when I started drinking, I’d talk about the diminishing IQ points on the boat...yea, I had my moments too, but overall, I still like to stick with the idea that a mind is a terrible thing to waste, especially when you pretend you don’t have one for the sake of a boy who won‘t stop staring at your chest. There was a great day a couple weeks ago where there were only five of us girls on a boat with some guy friends…none of us had fake parts and all of us talked in full sentences. It…was…awesome.

The Clubs: I was in the bathroom at Couture about a month ago with two gorgeous girls who were wearing hooker shoes and too tight of dresses who were bitching about everything regarding their bodies. “Do my arms look too muscular in this dress?” “Does my butt look okay?” Multiple self loathing statements, all said with strong disdain. As I walked out of the bathroom, I turned to the girl who wasn’t in the stall and said, “You’re both beautiful, shut the fuck up,” and walked out. That, while maybe not appropriate to say, felt good.

The Sweeter Guys: Tuesday, I was on the boats with a bud, talking to him about the fact I feel I am a little behind the curve for the ‘boat cuteness quota’ at times…I said I’m on the sillier and more conversational side, pretty, but not nearly as gorgeous as some of the other female boat mates. He replied, “No, you’re very beautiful!” So, thanks Rob, because by the end of this summer, I had almost forgotten that. And by the end of that night, two of the other girls were in a screaming cat fight, nearly overboard, so, at least I wasn’t them.

And now, at the end of the summer, I’m still single, feeling like a tornado hit me, liver a little less strong, ego healthily reminded that I’m doing okay, and attitude slightly skewed with assumptions of entitlement. Was it a fun summer? Hell yeah. Do I want next summer to be like this? Maybe half as much. Will I figure out what works for me and not everyone else? God, I hope so.

All in all, I think I just won’t apologize. The past few months have been a good (and occasionally wild) eye opener for me, and excellent evidence that I know what I really want and how I want to be perceived by others...genuine inside and out, silicone free (not that it is always bad), completely okay being intelligent AND pretty, and ready to tone down the reality show lifestyle for next summer.

Season passes for the mountain go on sale September 1st. And college football starts in less than a week. Those two things alone may carry me through until next summer. And thanks to everyone who has contributed to my many adventures from May until now…I loved just about every minute of it.

Finding 4 Things, Scary Movies, & Singing My Way Through It All...

2010-08-08T01:13:00.000-07:00

To start, I’ll apologize for the blog post delay to my regularly reading father. I know it’s been over a month. I had one written up, but it just wasn’t what I wanted to project or talk about by the time I hit send, so, it got scrapped. And with that, here’s what’s on my mind…

I think we should constantly re-evaluate our lives and figure out where we are going while remembering what and where we came from. Some need to find their God, some need to find new jobs, some need to chill the hell out and stop going out all the time, some need to just kiss the right stranger. I may need to do all four, in no particular order…and maybe I already did some of them…maybe I’m still working on it…but I am home on a Saturday night writing this, so, that’s a start I suppose.

The work I do for my job is currently burning me out again. I'm tired of reading about bipolar addict mothers, siblings who barely know one another, and kids being abused to the point of permanent physical, mental, and emotional damage. I’m always forthcoming with the stories from my own early life, but, honestly, a lot of times, I don’t want to read about the same BS happening to other families. It’s the reason I do the work I do though…to hopefully help end the cycle for other families…and I will probably be fine once the referrals for kids slow down again. But it’s digging things up regardless.

My sister just found this scary, scary movie that we saw part of when we were on a visit to Boise as little kids. I always remembered it a little differently. And that said, the clip of the ‘masked scary ass person’ on ice is still a little terrifying. I’ll let you be the judge though…here it is. Honestly, this is just as freaky to me as it was when I was eight. Then again, I thought that Candyman was terrifying until my friend in college said he sounded like Barry White.

And on that subject, my sister and I used to act out every musical known to man. I never got to be the main character, and often got stuck being the boy too. Talk about a mean big sister. My most regular roles were 'Molly' in Annie and one of the Pink Ladies in Grease and Grease II (but never Sandy or Stephanie, oh noooo...Jennifer always scored those). Anyway, if people ever wonder why I break out into song all the time, it's most likely the direct effect of singing our way through childhood. Life is usually better when you're tone deaf and singing anyway.

Oh, and I had the first person ever unfriend me on Facebook because of political views. The issue surrounding gay marriage, but moreso, my opinion that the judicial system needed to get whacked for the sake of overturning a ruling on gay marriage. This was the comment that got me not only cut, but terrorized by angry texts (ok, those were about my views on the mosque in NY too actually) and also called a pseudo intellectual hack:

Well, if the line in the ground of rights and government control is gone...I will happily support its demise for this case...and Elton John can bite me. He's one of a million gay men...if he wants to disagree with this, more power to him......he is not the God of gay men and women afterall. I think back to the days when interracial marriages were illegal in MANY states. Thank God those laws were overturned...what if they weren't? It'd be ridiculous! And, while I recognize you don't care if same sex marriages occur (glad we agree on that), I will say that I hope anyone who does disagree with same sex marriage will look back in 40 years and realize how ridiculous their judgment was...this needed to happen...whoop de doo if it ruffled a few controls.

And with that, I'll say, I guess sometimes it's okay to let people you have nothing in common with anymore go, even if you've known them 17 years. I've seen him bully people, including his own wife, for a long time now, and it's always pissed me off.

I tend to get frustrated when people's arguments are simply based on religion, being a conservative, or laced with expletives calling other people names. If you want to debate, back it up...nothing like a baseless opinion to get a slam right back at you. I think I have said this before, but just because you align with one political party or one religious denomination does not mean you have to be a closeminded person about everything FOX News or The Bible doesn't agree with. Constantly question and educate yourself on everything.

And here is what I am singing in my car right now: Fader by The Temper Trap, There Goes My Life by Kenny Chesney, and Love the Way You Lie By Eminem. Once loathed, Mr. Mathers is starting to get some appreciation from me again. At least for now.

We’re All Effing Beautiful…

2010-06-28T22:47:00.000-07:00

The other night I was watching TV with my roomie (ok, over two weeks ago…I don’t watch a lot of TV). Jennifer Garner popped up on the screen. My roomie commented that she didn’t think that she was that pretty. I disagreed and said that I liked that the American ’ideal’ has appeared to embrace her and ’decide’ she is beautiful. I mean, why not? She has a great body, cute dimples, she’s always smiling, and most of all she seems like a genuinely good person. Then my roomie agreed, true, she is beautiful.

So, years ago I wrote an insanely long paper for school about beauty in the US…how models used to be size eights, but at the time (in 1996) had shrunk to a size two. At the time, I was a muscular size ten and pissed. Now I AM a skinny size 4, and still pissed. Why are we still so stuck on these ideas that women all need to be the same mold of beauty, and men for that matter?

Granted, in the dating world, you have to be attracted to anyone you may want to date…so let’s look past that for now shall we and just focus on some other thoughts…for me, I’m looking for ‘perfect for me’…not perfect for the world…which means, their insides better damn well be loving and caring as all hell. Which may explain why I was completely comfortable spending five plus years of my life with a guy who was only 5’7”…and anyone who knows who I am speaking of may like to know that he continues to be beautiful, is married with a lovely little daughter and runs a Domestic Violence Shelter in Moab, Utah.

Why is it that every time Queen Latifah gets interviewed they wax on about her big beautiful body. Why can’t we let that go and just agree that she is a beautiful person inside and out, big not included?

I just know I have met some drop dead gorgeous women and men in my life who were the ugliest assholes on the inside. It made the perfect smile seem evil, the pretty eyes seem manipulative, the muscular arms an excuse for them to be controlling and bullying to others.

Case in point. One of my best guys loves to go to Henry’s to ogle the girls. Whenever we go, I challenge him to talk to them, go say hi, buy them a drink. He never does. He mentions that they snub him when he smiles at them, seem really uptight, or seem above everybody else in the bar. Granted, some of these chicks are gorgeous inside and out too, but he’s figured out the girls at Blitz Ladd seem more smiley, down to earth, less concerned with pounds of makeup, etc, etc…but he still won’t talk to them, but that’s a different story.

And, as I write this, I just returned from the gym because I want to be in awesome shape (ok, and it makes me feel better, but it's definitely vanity driven as well), I wear makeup most days and LOVE makeup actually. I buy $150 jeans to make my ass look cuter. Damn right I will get as adorable as I can for First Thursday this week. So honestly, I just feed into the problem I suppose…and maybe that makes me a hypocrite…but shit, at least I feel like I am beautiful…almost all the time…regardless of what anyone else thinks.

I guess my point is that you should never assume that you aren’t beautiful. Because I’m sure you are and you just don’t know it. Embrace parts of you that are unconventional to society's eye. And if you’re beautiful on the inside too, well, that one slightly imperfect tooth, that graying hair, that bridge of your nose that annoys the piss out of you, or the feet you think are slightly too big, the chest you think is too small, the ears that seem too imperfect… well, they’re are probably quite endearing to friends, lovers, and even your family...and make you all the more beautiful. I mean, the more I get to know certain people, the more I love certain features about them…mostly because they are simply amazing people.

Just a thought…I’ll stop rambling now and offer up some songs: I Run to You by Lady Antebellum, You and Me by DMB, and listen to the band Stars. Saw them recently in concert and was literally floored.

In Order to Balance Out My Optimism…

2010-06-09T22:27:00.000-07:00

I will complain for a few lines about all that is bothering me…

The Gore separation: Unlike the Speidi separation which I could give a flying f**k about, the Gores calling it quits rattles me. I thought they had as good a shot as Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. It reminds me of a conversation I had with a seven year old kid when I worked at a party store during high school and college. She was looking at cake toppers and pointed to one with a silver ‘25’ on top and asked what it was for. I told her that was for when people have been married 25 years. She looked at me, sighed, and said, “But people don’t stay married that long anymore!“ I was stunned. I am from a family with parents on both ends of the spectrum…a mother who has been married and divorced five times AND a father who has been happily remarried for 27 years. Think I plan to take after my father…and Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward…they were a fairytale.

The oil spill: As much as I like to stay up on current events, I can’t even read the articles on this without wanting to cry. Actually, my bleeding heart is reacting to everything I read in Time Magazine lately too. Some days, I feel like I need to quit my job, sell my stuff, and just go help people. I know my actual paying job is to help people everyday, but, sometimes, being an American feels really, REALLY selfish. I’m working on how to handle this without giving up my livelihood. I’ll let you know what I come up with. It may include finding a few more volunteer projects to partake in…I could use some, so give me a few good ideas.

Rain: Need I say more? My label as being the ‘solar powered girl’ feels so true right now. Saturday’s sun created a crazy Sarah monster of wildness. Then, back to being a slug the past few days. I’m going crazy!!!

Me jumping to conclusions: The first thing I think when wives disappear is that their husbands had something to do with it. The first thing I think when kids disappear is that their parents had something to do with it. My industry gets me jaded at times. God, I know there are more kids missing out there than Kyron right now, and I really hope more of them are found.

Ok, no more negatives. But, as promised, I mentioned something in the last post and said people would know results either way. So, “it” died. The gel isn’t there at the moment. So for now, we move on…

Let’s end with some happiness and a lesson, shall we…

Amazing friends: Robin calls me at least every few weeks to tell me she loves and misses me and to make sure I’m ok. She’s been doing this since we were 12, and I love her for it. I called my friend Nick this afternoon and the first thing he said to me was, “I’ve missed that voice.” He’s a relatively new friend in all reality, but he’s one who just always knows what to say and cares about everyone who crosses his path…he’s already given me loads of good advice. Jamey pointed to me on Friday night and announced to a small crowd that I saved his life during the six months after his girlfriend died. It floored me, and I think I actually got tears in my eyes. David boldly told me on Saturday night, “Damn Sarah, when you are not interested in talking to someone, you can be such a bitch!!!” I so appreciate every moment of the last few years that he has just bravely told me I am a pain in the ass at times.

The lesson…constantly reevaluate what ‘friendship’ means to you. Don’t hold onto shitty friends, don't only spend time with the friends who stroke your egos...schedule time and listen hard to the ones who tell you the truth. And of course, try to remind the really good ones (new and old) who stick with you through everything that you love them. Superficiality is a waste of your time.

And since I can’t really think of any songs this month, here is what I am looking forward to this summer…

Staying out too late on work nights, the family trip, the wedding of C + T, kayaking, inner tubing, hitting balls on the driving range at sundown, beer festivals, First Thursdays, excuses to find a designated driver and act like an idiot OR BE the designated driver and make fun of all the other people acting like idiots, random concerts, trips to the beach, and heavy rotation of my flip flops and tank tops. BUT topping the list is the arrival of my next nephew, Baby Boy Perry in July. He’s going to be amazing.

Thank God it's almost really summer!

Sleep Deprived Thoughts From a Plane Above the Middle of America...

2010-05-17T13:14:00.000-07:00

I wrote this on my flight from New York to Vegas this morning...one I got up for at 1:00 am Pacific Standard Time to catch. Thought about erasing it, but in true Sarah form, I wrote it for a reason, so...

On my way back from an awesome trip to New York. I've been gone from home for five short days, but the combination of flights, trains and subways, walking, and relaxing on restaurant fronts with drinks has given me plenty more time to do what I do best...think.

Days one and two were spent overthinking and stressing. Finally by the third day, I hit vacation mode and was actually enjoying myself...I'd given up worrying about the wedding I'm in on Thursday, the engagement party I'm throwing Saturday, and the guy I've known for two months who confusingly reciprocates my bids for affirmation and proves in little ways that we may just have a shot. For the first time in a while, texts from a guy make me giddy (even if it's something pithy like 'I just hurt my leg running, boo :('...) and seeing his face makes me light up. And for once, a best bud likes him...says he'd be good for me. Like Bright Eyes says...I feel like I'm waiting to win the lottery with this one...and for me, that's freaky. But my heart is sticking with him (because, to tell you the truth, my heart hasn't given me the choice yet to bail)...until it gels or until it dies...you'll know the outcome either way.

One thing I've decided while on this trip is that I'm modifying my June roadtrip. I'm going to Ashland, Angels Camp, LA, and then heading back home. I've got other things I want to do. I want some downtime at home. I want to be a better bridesmaid for Clarence and Tami than I have been for my brother and Christi. I'm not ready to roll back through Utah yet. Not sure why.

Otherwise, I'm wondering if lucky and fortunate go hand in hand. The butterfly effect of everything good in my life mesmerizes me at times. I'm not sure how people can bitch and moan constantly about small things. We create what we assume we will create. Negativity just breeds more of it. Positivity makes a domino effect of pretty much anything good you want, within reason. I've been living my life fearlessly and shamelessly for a while now. I'm sure I've looked like an ass at times, and I definitely haven't gotten everything I wanted. But, come on now...why wouldn't you just want to live like you're dying and do all the exciting things that come your way and fight til the end for everything you want, whether that be love, better perks at work, more faithful friendships, more honesty with everyone?

It seems to work alright for me. And I'm sticking with it.

Songs...I like the new Usher CD. Yea, I said it. And I'm seriously thinking The Script deserve all the attention they're getting. I'd listen if I were you.

I Need To Go To Seaside, And Other Sarah Thoughts…

2010-04-26T22:39:00.000-07:00

Staring over the top of my laptop, watching the Blazers lose. This is not good. Maybe I should write something.

I just booked a trip to New York with my buddy Ryan. He had leftover round trip tickets via frequent flier miles, he knows I have the most flexible schedule in the world, and, we don‘t appear to have the ability to kill one another…so lucky me, I get a free roundtrip ticket. We are flying into Long Island, taking only backpacks and storming the city for five days, trying to see as much as we can while we are there. I did an eleven day, five city tour of Spain once with just a carry-on, so I think I will be able to swing it. Any ideas on what to do and see while we are there would be greatly appreciated. This trip should break up my mind while I am waiting for my three weeks off at the end of June to go on my 2500 mile, five state roadtrip through OR, CA, NV, UT, and ID. That time is much needed, and let me explain in more detail…

Despite my rosy persona, I am a little discontent lately. Don’t get me wrong…I love my life, my friends, my family, all that stuff I regurgitate post after post…but obviously, I should constantly refocus and look at where I am in life, right? Sooo, I was sitting in my room the other morning, thinking about all the obligations I had to fulfill that day, realizing that all I really wanted to do was throw Bailey in the car and drive to Seaside. I didn‘t, but maybe I should have.

So let’s talk relationships shall we? I rarely do, so this is your peek into this side of me. I occasionally think that whoever ends up being the other half in my life is going to just have to mold to the happy chaos that is my everyday…events, obligations, friends, family. But in all honesty, I want to get selfish and just hole up with someone and forget about everyone for a while and figure out how life works with that person, then ease all of the chaos from both our lives together, sloooowly. Eh, just a thought.

I just know I’d be looking into my life as a guy thinking…where the Hell is she gonna fit me in?! Okay, I admit it…it was said to me OUTRIGHT a few months ago by someone who’d accumulated five months of on and off time with me…he had a good glimpse of me, and he was right (though I denied it)…I still spread myself too thin. I go back to a few years ago when my other half at the time asked me, “When was the last time you did something JUST for you?” I couldn’t come up with anything…at all. I spent several months after that revelation doing a lot more for myself…and loved it.

And at this moment, I think I need to adjust again…sometime soon perhaps. Lord knows I may change my mind tomorrow. But I like this idea. So don’t be offended if I disappear. I promise I will still be there for all the important stuff. But, maybe I will come out on the other side as my friend KnowGood has been ordering…coupled up sometime in the next few months (well, he said May is my deadline actually, but, I think I should get some grace weeks).

Meh, how about some songs from my Shazam list (so, things that sound good to my ears on first contact) and some that I just tend to love: Smile by Uncle Kracker, Promises by The Morning Benders, Felicia by Constellations, Help I’m Alive by Metric, Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg, I Might Be Crying by Tanita Tikaram. I'm bringing back Chaiyya Chaiyya too...by A.R. Rahman.

And yes, this is one of those posts I just had to write…and the Blazers just lost…boooooo. And with that, I am hitting the publish button...

What Are You Doing? Sitting In the Sun. I Knew It!

2010-04-12T18:55:00.000-07:00

I haven’t mentioned that dialogue between Wes and I from 2006 for the year yet, but most days when I’m sitting in the sun (like right now), I think of it and laugh. And with that, I give you many moments of reflection…

Today was spent at a memorial service for a close friend‘s dad. The idea of burying our parents just seems too soon, and in this case, it was for sure. It was nice to see how loved a person could be though and also wonderful to know that the man truly just lived life to the fullest, the way he wanted to, surrounded by love and laughter, until his dying day. I mean, the entire staff of a restaurant he frequently visited showed up to bid him farewell…pretty amazing.

I saw my oldest younger brother this morning by chance. He’s one of the loves of my life, but like something of a bad boyfriend who never returns your calls or remembers to call you on your birthday. He’s always shown his love in his own way though, and referred to me as ‘sis’ and hugged me before scampering along with a buddy. He recently had a kid and when I went to visit, whispered to his 2 week old son, “Look, your whole family is here right now.” I’ve been trying to figure out how to relate to him since my mom lost custody of him when he was fourteen. I’m assuming that one day we’ll just get it right, but I’d like that day to come sooner rather than later.

Other thoughts:

I’m a bad dog parent and Bailey may be my last dog for many years to come. I'll never get rid of him, but I think I'd be living downtown in a condo right now if I didn't have him. That said, he’s ten, happy, healthy, and continues to have 100 toys all over the house. And that said, I’m naming my next dog Rogue or Cupid Valentino…yea, as much as I think I will be without a dog one day, I don't think it's in my blood to be dog-less.

I think I am about 75% success and 25% failure on my Resolutions for 2010. Notably, I continue to suck at spending time with my friends who have kids (when the kids are present), I don't go to bed before midnite most nights, and I still overanalyze the hell out of everything.

And, I got this quote from someone I really don't know, but, I think it is worth noting: "People who can't see a good thing in front of them when they have it are useless." Well said stranger, well said.

And finally, I really did make an itinerary for my spring and summer. It's insane...I mean, out of control, but typical me and it's all a ton of fun stuff. I will officially announce now though: I will probably NEVER come to your candle, jewelry, handbag, or Pampered Chef Party. If I want something, I'll order it straight up from you. Weddings...yes, b'days...98.3% of the time, grand openings of stuff you're proud of...of course, and memorial services for those you love... absolutely. But, considering I rarely say no, I figured I had to put the ban out somewhere.

And with that, some songs: Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart by Alicia Keys, Half of My Heart by that scumbag John Mayer, You and Me by DMB, Stop for a Minute by Keane, Over by Drake, Kandi by One Eskimo, Quality Control by Jurassic 5, Shining Down by Lupe Fiasco, annnnd Dracula's Wedding by Outkast & Kelis. Yea, some of those are from a guy I used to date who had fabulous taste in music and was brave enough to dance around his house to hip hop music in front of me. The good thing about so-so relationships is quite possibly the awesome music you get out of them before it all goes bust...or at least I will try to think about it that way.

Innertubing the rivers is just around the corner everyone. Start blowing yours up now so we are on time this year.

A Post For Dad Because, Well, He Likes This Stuff...

2010-03-21T22:49:00.000-07:00

Dear Dad, I don't have much to write tonight, so I figured I would write a post directly to you because you hate when I wait a month to write a new post to my blog...

You should really think about liking Lady Antebellum like the rest of the family. They are amazing. I still think it's funny that you, Scott, and I all bought Kings of Leon music in the same week. I am currently obsessed with them by the way. Everyone else reading this should listen to Revelry, Notion, Arizona, The Runner, and Knocked Up over and over just like me.

Speaking of Scott, can you believe he and Christi are getting married in less than two months now?! I'm pretty excited that I am in the wedding when you consider that about 7 years ago, I was just meeting my little brother for the first time.

And, speaking of marriage, you haven't asked me when I am getting married anytime recently. I'm proud of you! That said, I will continue to promise you grandkids sometime within this decade...which is easy since a new decade just started. Ha, I am just as funny as you.

I've been telling everyone I am going on my first bonafide family trip with you this summer. Nothing like getting the first big trip in with your dad at 32 years of age. I think it will be pretty fun, but just remember...I am driving my own car AND I have to leave for Los Angeles before all of you finish the trip. Seventeen hours in the big white van with you exclusively driving just doesn't appeal to me. Shhh, don't tell everyone else!

Ok Dad, here is my other news (even though I just talked to you three days ago): I haven't gone snowboarding again because my ribs took forever to heal, so you'll be happy to know I am still alive and probably only going to be able to go a few more times since I waited so long. That said, I am thinking of finding a way to create dangerous versions of golf or frisbee golf. I'll keep you posted.

That's all the news I have for you right now. Maybe I should tell you that you have been a pretty awesome dad for the seven years I have known you again...not sure what I'd do without you and the mirror image of me I see in you every time we hang out. I'm a lucky daughter, and I love you.

Love, your super amazing, smart, and beautiful daughter (all those things you tell me :))...Sarah

2% Milk, Carcinogens, and The Unknown Meaning of Life...

2010-02-23T14:23:00.000-08:00

Anniversaries of things I hated happening always peak my thinking moments. It's been an interesting couple of weeks, which included both myself and a best friend crying in Sunriver because the last time both of us were in the Bend/Sunriver area was with important people who have since died. Being overly sentimental and pairing that with a day of ‘too much fun’ is bound to dig up way too many emotions right? So, here is all I have for the moment…

My "Favorite Dad" died when he was 56. I was hanging out with Robin at her house one morning shortly after, and we opened the fridge to find 2% milk. To this, Robin replied something to the effect of, "My dad loved 2% milk. Guess he could have drank the 2% instead of the skim...wouldn't have made a difference."

Greg died when he was 19. We used to always rag on him about smoking, how bad it was for him, and how it would kill him early. To this he replied, "I have a feeling I am not going to live that long anyway." Much to our dismay, that was true, and had nothing to do with smoking.

My sister and some other friends are constantly reporting the cancerous levels of toxins in products we eat, use on our body, choose to use on a daily basis. Are those of us who don't use certain products going to live longer than others? I'm not sure. Do we even really control that when all is said and done and we are knocking on death's door?

So, the last couple weeks have really made me think about what I want, how I want my life, what I can and cannot justify. Not that I have many vices other than cereal, Diet Mountain Dew, and an occasional crazy night with a few too many drinks, but...which direction do you think we should go with our lives?

Personally, I want to live until I'm old...very old...not sure why, and maybe I will change my mind when I get to where 'old' is, but still...some people live wild and crazy lives well into their old age, others drop dead way too early after years of great health, and still others leave us way too early as a result of absolutely uncontrollable situations. Doesn't seem to make sense.

And maybe, once again, I'm just thinking too much at 2:00 in the afternoon.

Songs: I’m going old school with Fair by Ben Folds Five, and a newer song (to me at least) The Nosebleed Section by Hilltop Hoods.

We are almost to spring people...and I can finally almost sleep on both my sides again, so that means I get to try my snowboard out again soon...even though there doesn't seem to be much new snow.

Why You Shouldn’t Support the Group: Making Drug Tests Required to Get Welfare

2010-01-31T18:05:00.000-08:00

The group ‘welcome sign’ reads: This is to help towards making it a requirement to get tested for drugs in order to receive welfare benefits. The economy is bad as it is, this is a great way to cut costs. No more crackheads living off our hard earned money.

The platform for this Facebook group is finally getting to me. Whoever created it used wording of such intelligence that I assume most of its supporters are in the same IQ range. I think people see it and make a snap decision that supporting this is a good idea. So, here’s some arguments for why it’s not…

Yes, some people abuse the system. Others do not (specifically the children of these parents). For example, I grew up in a household that utilized Section 8 Housing, welfare, and even food baskets. My mother drank all the time and used drugs (I remember the pipe that wasn't the kind for smoking weed, her cocaine infused boyfriends, and going with her to pick up bags of different colored pills as a kid actually)…but if she had not received benefits, my future may not be as pretty as it is right now. Her history in the system also probably helped to create a baseline when DHS had to get involved when we were teens.

Basically, the children of parents who use drugs need to eat and get services, and they can’t apply for welfare on their own. So, if you support this, you are essentially supporting child hunger and denial of services to children…something that would have made my life completely different than it is today.

Speaking of, which drugs are we talking about here? Maybe it’s because I grew up in a home with an alcoholic who did quite her fair share of damage, but I consider alcohol a pretty ridiculous drug in itself if used too often. Honestly, I could care less if people use certain drugs (such as marijuana) in moderation...I think they do a lot less damage than people drinking. And I’ve never smoked in my life, so don’t go thinking I am on some pedestal for marijuana smokers (though I do think it should be legalized).

The cost of administering drug tests to everyone who applies for welfare is HUGE! The state can barely afford to test all the people involved in the system as it is. Don't get me wrong, it needs to be a case by case basis and some do need to be drug tested and get services, but it's not that easy to just say drug test everyone.

Hmm, that may actually be all I have to say about this. I am sure some of my other social service friends can chime in and give you some other ideas of why you should rethink the groups you join on social networking sites.

And please note, based on the wording of the group 'welcome sign' it is easy to make the conclusion this group leader is not requesting people simply get drug tested, but that people be drug free to receive benefits. Otherwise, they would have chosen their wording a little more appropriately.

Cocoa Pebbles Do This to Me...

2010-01-25T19:47:00.000-08:00

All hail Conan, my new love for snowboarding, and summer being less than 5 months away. Now on with the show...

I’m liking this whole idea that murderers on death row should start donating all their organs to others when they need them. So pretty much, those criminals who have been proven guilty with 100% proof should be on call for when someone needs an organ they have. Sorry if I sound heartless, but, I just don’t get the whole ‘cold blooded killing for the hell of it’ idea.

On that note, I am really tired of hearing about shootings, abuse, murder, and Heidi Montag. I don’t know the answer to fix it, but come on, stop it already.

I still like Obama. I don’t give a flying f**k what you think. You try to take over the presidency after it was blasted to hell. It’s his first year as a young president and he isn't the only guy running the country right now. Give the guy a break.

Robin’s mom wants me to be the next Bachelorette. My buddy Joe says I have to settle down by May. All in due time my friends, all in due time. I promise I will avoid ending up on Tough Love (as previously stated in my last post). Did I ever mention that my ‘flower girl’ is a 36 year old man? Maybe I should speed up the process for his sake. And yes, I will probably have 27 bridesmaids to stay true to my ‘27 Dresses’ comparison. Don’t judge…I love too many of my girls to have to pick.

My very best guy friend Jonathan is leaving me again. Much how I like to have Robin within an hour of me even if I don’t see her all the time, he is the same way. So, we will see how I do when he is in New Zealand for a few years. I’m already planning the plane tickets to get there at least one or two times!

If you’re not watching Modern Family, you really need to start. Honestly, in a sea of lackluster and worthless television, the show is truly genius.

My roomies would like me to mention how cool they are. Done! Lisa is trying to fatten me up. Much to her dismay, I don’t seem to gain weight. Really, it's been a good two years here. Love it and will probably only leave when I get coupled off one day.

The best way to end a productive day of hiking (exercise) is to have corndogs, tater tots, and milkshakes. Just sayin…yep, that not ever gaining weight thing seems to work out pretty well for me. And I did go dancing after, so, I guess bad food was truly justifiable.

My mom infiltrated our little peaceful world again…this time with absolutely random stuff and some letters that were terribly inappropriate to give to your children, but at the same time, gave me more justification to my dad being the good guy. So, there that is.

Songs (!!!): Never Be Ready by Mat Kearney, Obsessed by Mariah Carey (sorry, it grew on me), and Electric Feel by MGMT. Oh, and if anyone wants to go to Rogue Wave with me on April 9th, I already bought an extra ticket. My usual concert buddy will be in New Zealand by then (damn you Ph. D seeking Jon)…so I will need a replacement for all future concerts for the next few years!

Resolutions for 2010...Yes, I Have a Few

2010-01-03T21:13:00.000-08:00

Continue to stay true to myself ~ Be an awesome bridesmaid in May and July for the two weddings I am in this year ~ Laugh uncontrollably (and convincingly) every time someone makes the joke that I am like the chick from 27 Dresses as if it is the funniest thing I have ever heard, and the first time I have ever heard it (I suppose it is an indirect compliment that I am such a fabulous friend, people like having me in their weddings) ~ Not end up on the next season of Tough Love on VH1 ~ Run more with Bailey ~ Go on my first bonafide FAMILY trip out of the state with my parents, half sibs, and Tater Bug ~ Eat less sugary cereal (don’t even THINK I would say eat less cereal) ~ Go to more concerts ~ Stay home more nights and have people over instead of going out ~ Be okay with the fact that I will still probably say ’Yes’ too much and ’No’ too little ~ Spend more time with my friends who don’t live in Portland (including those in Salem, Eugene, Southern Oregon, and Beaverton) ~ Spend more time with my friends who have kids ~ Like my nose more than I did this year ~ Keep kicking butt at work ~ Find a way to get reality shows removed from television ~ Go to bed earlier ~ Play 18 holes of golf without getting mad ~ Volunteer more ~ Spoil the heck out of the new babies joining the family in February and July ~ Stop overanalyzing ~ Continue to believe that people are intrinsically good and not bad ~ Float the river more often ~ Go to the ocean more often ~ Continue appreciating the little things in life ~ Keep loving life, no matter what.

Quotes from 2009, And a Mellow Shout Out

2009-12-15T22:03:00.000-08:00

It‘s that time of year again when I dump my quotes from Facebook and start a new slate. 1) Don’t make fun of me because I am a quote junkie AND 2) Don’t be surprised if I actually start saying "no" more often. I feel a theme coming on that I like being in bed some nights by midnight. Wait, did I say it with conviction yet?! I’ll keep working on it. But really, one can’t always have a 100% attendance record right? Yes, I need some mellow time.

Ok, here is what I rounded up this year.

"Suddenly I realized - two people isn't enough. You need backup. If you're only two people, and someone drops off the edge, then you're on your own. Two isn't a large enough number. You need three at least." ~from About a Boy (not a 2009 quote, but still good)

"We're not going to talk about politics, we're not going to talk about NASA. What I am going to do is hang up the phone and say, you have a nice day." ~Clarence Cannon

"God has a plan for both of us....I really do believe that. As my mom said, "Dont give up five minutes before the miracle." ~one of my good friends

"Go push over that ceramic giraffe and scream "Lo Ciento!"" ~Jonathan in the PV airport

"Blood doesn't mean losing. Blood means blood." ~Stephen Johnson's UFC analysis

"Sarah, this side is like a musical because of you." ~Megan Vandecoevering after I sang that I was almost done for the day.

"Huh?! What?! Say it again! I just love how it sounds!" ~Jamey Kadaja imitating what he says I say every time he talks because he's so quiet and I'm so loud.

"Do unto others like you wanna be done. Look deep in your heart and know that we are one." ~Mason Jennings

"My eyes are hot! I mean literally, they're burning!" ~Amanda Sparks preparing for Little Black Dress Night...glittery makeup hurts!

Me: Jamey, everyone in this bar is 22.
Jamey: It's all a state of mind...how old are you?
Me: Twenty two.
Jamey: Damn right.

"I was the middle school weightlifting champion!" ~some guy at Kells. He also told me, "Owning a house is tough, tough! I have a gutter hanging from my house," with a blank stare on his face.

Other notable lines: “We’re going to the hot place” … “We’re going to Heaven” (sang swinging arms) … “Seriously?!” … “Sarah, your car is going to be up on blocks when we come back to it.” (at a bar in SE Portland) … “Rookie!!!” … “Hiiiii Cow!” … “Hiiii Tunnel!” … “Would you shut up?! I’m talking to God!” … “Hi, this is your friend Clarence and he misses you.” ... "We can kayak instead of going to church because God is on the water with us right?!"

Annnnd, a song. From the movie The Blind Side…Chances by Five For Fighting. Let me love it. It’s a song that goes from hopeless to hopeful, and makes me think.

Happy Holidays!

31 Thoughts From My Thirty First Year…

2009-12-07T20:17:00.000-08:00

Turning 32 in a month and 4 days. Year 31 has been great to me. Was going to wait until a little closer to my birthday to eke these 31 thoughts out. Life is busy from now until then though. So, I’m doing it tonight. So, here you go…honest thoughts from another wonderful year…

1: You can date your best friend after ten years of wondering what it‘d be like, then stop, and then keep the friendship well intact…thank God because I’m still not sure what I’d do without him.

2: Amazing friends can come from a tragedy, but that still doesn’t change the fact I’d sacrifice the friendship to give a buddy back someone he dearly loved…though I’m not sure what I’d do without him either.

3: Good friends follow you through all the job changes, city changes, shit, joys, and tears…I still realize that my friends are the most amazing people in the world.

4: Self centered still doesn’t work for me, neither does financial irresponsibility, or facial hair beyond sexy scruff, or guys who bitch about me having cereal for dinner from time to time.

5: You can survive the long engagement of the bride and groom, and she will be back to normal after the wedding! I am NEVER having a long engagement…too much stress! But truth be told, that wedding was a blast and I think the whole event brought me and the bride that much closer.

6: I don’t like when my thighs touch…I’m never letting that happen again, unless I’m pregnant…then it’s a free for all for the sake of the kid.

7: That said, I don’t think I want to have kids for a little while longer. Probably not a problem since I am not married or anything, but, you know what I mean.

8: And that said, me having an issue with not fitting into some of my size two clothes is ridiculously stupid and I need to stop it. Size four is plenty skinny.

9: My girlfriends only deserve the guys who are going to treat them like the Goddess Princesses they are. Oh, and same goes for me.

10: Stepmoms, despite their bad reputation in movies, fairytales, and fiction can be absolutely wonderful…I adore mine and am still so happy that we have the relationship we have.

11: I don’t see my friends who have kids enough, and I need to do a better job of seeing them.

12: I think I’m scared that I won’t have enough time in life with my dad and I still wonder what those extra 20 years together would have been like.

13: Getting the vehicle I really wanted all along was a FANTASTIC feeling. As was losing another pile of memories that I didn’t want anymore.

14: Every time a Tom Petty song plays, I still think of my Favorite Dad and miss him like Hell, even though it’s been almost three years since he died.

15: Watching my roomies do P90X is a lot more fun than doing P90X. Those videos hurt!

16: I should be doing P90X instead of writing this. Looks like I am in for Plyometrics in the morning. Yikes.

17: Giving up the daily juice box wasn’t so bad. Neither was starting to drink it again.

18: Diet Mountain Dew is really bad for me, and I don’t care.

19: I would not survive without throw blankets, but I will never own a snuggie.

20: No matter how much I love Oregon, I still get the ‘moving bug’ from time to time. I promise to try to keep it in check, but don‘t freak out if I disappear for a month this summer.

21: I threw a guy off this year by talking about how I’m not sure if a college ball player has translated that well into an NBA player. I’ve learned that I will never be able to stop talking sports, despite the gender divide.

22: That said, my God, I spent a lot on makeup, pedicures, and girly crap this year.

23: I’m learning to wakeboard next summer even if it means freezing my ass off in a river.

24: The driving range is the best place, besides the gym, to take out aggression.

25: I am never working an entire summer without days off EVER again.

26: I’m going on the crazy Vegas trip in April again, but using a lot more sunscreen. I will also avoid getting kicked out of a bar again. That means you have to go again Wes. Sarah needs her babysitter.

27: I love living with people who cook. I think I need to take culinary classes so I can learn to enjoy the art of cooking, or not.

28: Running with my dog is better than going to the gym.

29: I wish I liked running more.

30: I’m so glad ’my twin’ and I managed to beat the transition out of work friendship bump. This girl will be in my life for many Beaver games to come.

31: Getting a new job saved my career in child welfare…I was about done in late May of last year and am so thankful that my new position came along.

Thanks again to all the monkeys who make my life big and bright. Stay tuned for birthday plans for Gwyn and I. We’ll be celebrating January 9th this year so save the date!

Appreciations...It May Not Be a Word, But I Don't Care

2009-11-17T22:23:00.000-08:00

Today rubbed me the wrong way. I was going to vent about it, how it made me feel like I don’t do a good enough job keeping predators away from our kids, how all I could think about all day was this scumbag who will spend the next 40+ years of his pathetic life in jail now. But, it’s almost Thanksgiving, and, well, I should probably focus on something a little more positive now, shouldn’t I? Wait, can I end a sentence with I?

On Halloween night, I received the most genuine “thank you” I have probably received in years. It’s been a quite a tough year for one of my best friends, and we capped Halloween off with a celebration, or rather, as I see it, the end of the climb up a very steep hill where one finally reaches the amazing peak and decides to finally descend down the other side. At the end of the night, as we all walked to our separate cars, I was stopped with the hugest hug, a look square in the eyes, and a “Thank you…you know what for,” that really got to me. I get peppered with I love you’s and thanks from him all the time, but this one, I can’t explain. We kind of counseled each other all year, so, the thank you he gave me could have been lassoed back to him just as well.

So last night, I was talking to one of my beautiful girlfriends. She’s been on and off with a guy for years who doesn’t do her the justice of what she deserves. She knows this, so that is the only reason I am writing it here. And him, well, God I hope he figures it out sooner rather than later…otherwise, he’ll lose a good one.

Tonight, I went out to sushi with one of my very great girlfriends (who told me fabulous stories about the great guy who doesn’t take her for granted and I can’t wait to meet in real life by the way). I drove my car home that still smells like a new car (because it is), and climbed up the stairs to cookies baked by my future roomie, and now I’m on my laptop, writing this crap that may not tie together for anyone but me.

I’m celebrating Thanksgiving next week at my house with 20+ people. My life is not perfect, I’m not perfect, things aren’t always how I want them, but I realize I have it pretty damn good. It’s a common theme for me I suppose to rattle off how much I love my family, my friends, my beautiful and smart girlfriends, my ‘bodyguards’ who size up any guy I go on a date with and the guy friends who prove I deserve to be treated like the princess definition of my name, the roof over my head, the cush job, the nice car, all of it. I don’t say it enough maybe, but I am thankful for however this all ended up as my life.

So my final point, to tie this all together…I am hoping that everyone I know takes time to think about what you have instead of what you don’t have as we head into the holidays. Think about what you need to do to hold onto ‘it’ or ‘him’ or ‘her.’ We are a spoiled society, and things and people taken for granted typically fade, walk away, become of less value to you, or become a point of resentment rather than appreciation.

And, while you’re doing that, listen to Phoenix, Ooh La by The Kooks, Drug Induced by Limblifter, and Church Clothes by Matt Nathanson. Oh, and have a happy Thanksgiving too.

Ten Reasons I'm Always Taking Pictures

2009-10-27T16:44:00.000-07:00

Besides being one of the most sentimental packrats this side of the US (yes, my friends and family are pretty awesome, as I mention from time to time), I've come up with a few other reasons that I am always blinding you with my flash bulb...

1) I need to remember you when you’re dead, likewise maybe you will remember me when I’m dead too. Ok, that’s cryptic. But, it’s nice to have pictures of the people I love who have passed on scattered around my house…it’s a reminder that they’re always with me, and also reminds me to never forget them.

2) Pictures made me find my dad again. The pics of my dad and I when I was a little kid made me realize something was off in all those stories my mom told me over the years about him being a monster…I always looked quite happy and ‘safe’ with the big 6’4” goofball…indeed, my intuition was correct and now I have the goofball, and his bad jokes, at my disposal any day of the week.

3) Reminders of what happened in Vegas, those crazy parties, and OSU football games where tailgating started too early.

4) Pictures make cheap decorations…and nothing is better than coming home to a bunch of your friends and family smiling at you from table tops and dressers.

5) Proof for my future children that Mommy embraced life on every level…just as they hopefully will too, when I decide to have these future children that is.

6) Validation when I go back and look at pics of ex-boyfriends and realize, “Wow, thank God I didn‘t marry that one!”

7) Validation when I go back and look at pics of ex-boyfriends and realize, “Ok, I get it right every now and then.”

8) Pictures make the best presents…I give them as gifts often. Oh, and just in case you are wondering what to get me for holidays and my birthday.

9) I have to keep filling my ‘Favorite Photos of All Time” album with pics of the people I love…that album captures the absolute joys of my life.

10) For every ten crappy pictures I take, there is one true gem that will make me and others laugh and smile and remember the good times. So next time I am around, just sack up, smile, and say, “Cheese!” I promise to not shout out, "OMG, this is sooooo going on Facebook!"

A Harmless Thought Before Running Another 4 Miles...

2009-10-19T19:15:00.000-07:00

Running with my dog past houses tonight that smell like fabric softener and dinner, thinking...someday I will truly, TRULY want that. But for now, I just want flat abs for my Halloween costume, the freedom to stay out until 4 am on the weekends, and the ability to leave this town or state whenever I see fit. But don't worry dad, I'll probably change my mind sooner rather than later...or at least I'll think about it :).

Classy Man Awards for a Random Portland Weekend…

2009-10-12T18:26:00.000-07:00

This weekend we saw the toast of fine men in the Portland area. I’ll share some stories of what‘s available out there for all you lovely ladies:

Honorable Mention: All the men at Space Room. From the dude who bought every girl with two legs a drink (thanks buddy)… to the random North Salem High Alum who looked at the ring on my right hand and then said, “Wait, which one is your wedding finger, are you married?”… to the guy who wouldn’t let me out of the booth at the next bar until I gave him my phone number… to the guy who had a girlfriend, but told me, “If I didn’t, DAMN!” Yea, that’s what he said and then he gave me a hug goodbye that totally creeped me out AND came to the next bar with us. Okay, he was actually nice, but, a 30 second hug for a girl you just met WHEN you already have a girlfriend…uh, too long. You all were somewhat cute and maybe just not so classy. Good job men. And Seth, your bar is fun!

Bronze Medal: My newly married friend Court recognizes a guy at Blitz Ladd on Saturday night. They piece together that he is the friend of a guy she dated (very briefly) almost five years ago. This guy introduces his girlfriend as his girlfriend, but then, apparently too drunk to remember, introduces her again as his future wife. The girl starts shrieking, “Oh my Godddddd, that’s the first time you’ve ever called me that!” and continues to be ecstatic. Guy asks Court if she still works at Victoria’s Secret, she says no…she hasn’t for YEARS. I walk up, he asks me if I work there. I say no. He states, “Well, you could be a Victoria's Secret model,” all the while making his hands air draw the hourglass shape of a girl. Creepy. Luckily Creepy’s girlfriend is down at the other end of the shuffleboard table. Then, creepy guy decides to call Court’s ’very brief ex beau’ on his cell phone to let him know we’re there. “Dude, guess who is standing next to me right now man!!!” I’m surprised he didn’t hand Court the phone. Classy, classy, classy.

Silver Medal: Same night, different man…this one a good friend of mine who has drunk texted me for four years and often lets me know how much “I f‘ing love you“ and “you rock Chait” via these text messages. How a guy can have a huge crush on a girl he still calls by her last name is foreign to me. Anyway. We arrive at Blitz not knowing he’s there, but he IS there with the Girl He Doesn’t Really Like but can’t figure out how to dump for good. I know this because we go out to eat once or twice a month and catch up on all the gossip in our lives. So, I am very careful not to do much more than say hello, even though he’s a good friend. Well, there’s two shuffleboard tables, and Good Friend and I end up on the same end. This doesn’t serve Girl He Doesn’t Really Like very well and she starts getting mad. Good friend and I create a pretend wall and don’t even look at each other while we’re talking. “Sorry you’re in the dog house bud,” I say while shooting a puck down the board. “Dude, it’s not your fault,” Good Friend says back. Well, Creepy Guy is still creeping Court out, I’m slowly starting to feel like The Other Woman as Girl He Doesn’t Really Like keeps getting angrier, though I have never done a thing to compromise their relationship, so we decide to leave. I get a text (or twenty, but who’s counting) about an hour later. “I got punched in the eye.” “Oh no, what happened,” I reply. “Told the GF I loved you and got punched.” “Bud, you may want to wait until sober to have such discussions and maybe go easy.” “Yeah, my bad. But the punch hurt.” Really, I love this guy (just not in that way) and hesitated to tell this story, but, come on buddy…you soooo deserved to get punched.

Gold Medal: Back to Space Room. There is a guy there in an argyle sweater that is way too short, pants with bunchy ankles, and Vans. I comment that his outfit is a little off…turns out the dude I am talking to is his buddy. “Oh, he just got back from Argentina, that’s why he’s dressed that way. He’s really cool though.” Umm, no…and here is proof: My girlfriend Gwyn recognizes him. So, she walks up to him and says, “You look really familiar. I think I know you from somewhere.” His reply…”Yeah, you look like my type. Did we f**k?!” She quickly realizes (maybe from the dumbass comment) who this idiot is…he was wasted downtown once and tried following our girlfriend into her condo and then tried making out with her. Some friends grabbed him and threw him out into a cab. Cooper, you are one lame ass Gold Medal winner.

Maybe next weekend will be better.

A Rant Round Up After the Glee...

2009-09-10T21:50:00.000-07:00

Okay, okay, I’ll start with the good news before I get to my vent. The Beavers look promising this year, I still LOVE my job, I love pretty much everything about my life right now. And, well, that‘s about it. Nothing I’m about to vent about relates directly to me because well, I don’t have anything to complain about. Yeah, yeah, you can be happy too, I swear…just stop wasting time on things that don’t fulfill you, surround yourself with people you love, and, ok, I’ll shut up now…but do give me advice on where I should go this winter for a trip…warm and sunny only…and invite yourself along if you can afford a ticket…I’m not kidding.

Alright, on with the rant…

This newscaster on CNN right now has the worst haircut and the biggest teeth I’ve seen in a long time…and she’s yelling everything she says, as if I can‘t hear her. If you don’t believe me, her name is Jane Velez-Mitchell. Try to watch for five minutes. She looks a little like Sonic the Hedgehog. Way to glorify abductions and child abuse too little lady.

Please take a cab, drunk bus, or have a designated driver this football and Oktoberfest season…as the Sonic the Hedgehog chick on CNN just yelled…“When you drive drunk, you are ALWAYS potentially a murderer.” Ok, maybe you’re not so bad Jane…I’m sorry for saying you have a bad haircut.

A message to diehard conservatives AND diehard liberals…listen to the many sides of every story, situation, and political issue before making baseless comments or jumping to conclusions. It’s absolutely okay to sway on issues, think for yourself, and not believe everything your political party believes or endorses. I promise the conservatives you won’t go to hell for thinking about something liberally. And I promise the liberals it’s okay to believe in God and have moments of conservative expectations for the world. Congratulations to those of you who already know this. If you don’t yet, work on it.

What’s with politicians and affairs? What’s with affairs period? If you don’t want to love and be faithful to the person you married, divorce them. You suck cheaters. Even you John Edwards…and to think I may have voted for you back in the day. Moral incompetence…life isn’t a soap opera. And nice ‘storytelling’ Duvall…way to ban gay relationships but then go screw around on your own wife…nice family values…you idiot.

Jon and Kate media mongrels…shut up! Kate was evil, Jon was a philanderer…as a radio show down here in Eugene said today…they’re both the scum of the earth…leave it at that and make them focus on their kids.

Every child I meet in foster care reminds me of the amazing resilience of kids in this world. I wish we didn’t have abuse, abductions, and murders. Children, adults, and families just don’t deserve to go through any of this. As always, those of us who work in social service would gladly celebrate the day our jobs are not needed anymore…I only wish there was a chance that could happen.

Song round up time: Only You Can Love Me This Way by Keith Urban, The Heart of Life by John Mayer, One Day by Matisyahu. And oh, I like Lady Gaga…I can’t help it…that stuff is dance worthy.

Some Music For Everyone…

2009-08-23T23:48:00.000-07:00

I have always greatly disliked when people say “I like anything but country,” or “I’m fine with anything, but if you play rap, I‘ll break your iPod.” Music is music and a great song can come from any genre. I truly like most every type of music (except maybe Death Metal…unless Gwar counts). Be it the one good gift of my bizarre mother who threw the tunes down on us and let us listen to anything when we were little (my first concert was Poison and Alice in Chains at age twelve…shh, that‘s not bragging…yikes), or the pre college program I was in where I was one of a few white kids and we had hiphop dance parties in the basement and volleyball court at night, or my ‘favorite dad‘ who played Zydeco, blues, and classic rock all the time, or my damn sister who played the soundtrack to EVERY musical known to man over and over and over...I feel fortunate to have ears that like everything.

So, I compiled a list of some good stuff that’s in my play list lately…trying to make a handful of you happy…

For those who love country songs that make you cry or are required to play a country ballad at your wedding…Then by Brad Paisley.

For those who only listen to the song that ‘nobody else’ is listening to and only list bands on your Facebook page that are “sooooo cutting edge“…go f**k yourself and find that song and then rave about how it’s so totally awesome and how you discovered how cool they are…I have no time to find ‘that’ song.

For those who want to go dancing with me next weekend…Turnin Me On by Keri Hilson. You can ignore the Lil Wayne part…new proud future daddy to not one, but TWO baby mamas…when will he fade out?!

For those of you who are missing your ‘favorite dad’ and Robin anytime Tom Petty plays (ok, this one will really just be me)…Scare Easy by Mudcrutch…this is Tom Petty’s little band of goodness.

For those who find all your favorite music in the 15 second blurb they play in emotional moments of movies and TV shows…Friends and Family by Trik Turner (from Mr. Deeds…a crappy movie, but I digress…the song is great). And remember Rogue Wave and William Fitzsimmons too…they’re sneaking onto soundtracks and shows near you!

For those of you who think that Christian music is only by Christian artists on The Fish…Stand by Rascal Flatts, Pass Me Over by Anthony Hamilton, or ANYTHING by Guster…so many bands sing about religion all the time, so it kind of annoys me when people slam Christian artists…okay, I don’t really listen to too many, but, don’t just slam a genre because you want to sound all detached from anything relating to religion…you’ll miss some good songs.

For those of you who feel like you are on the path to feeling better…Fine Again by Anthony Hamilton.

For those who like little ensemble songs…Knock You Down by Keri Hilson, my future husband Ne-Yo, and Kanye West…just get the CD version and not the radio edit.

For those of you who want to lose brain cells…Party in the U.S.A. by Miley Cyrus…seriously, WHO SIGNED THIS CRAP?! This is a horrible song! And the pole dance being ok’ed by dad at that awards show?…really Billy, really?!

For people who love a little someone...it reminds me of my niece and dancing with her...Forever by Vertical Horizon.

For those who like cool songs, I can’t explain it any other way…Believe by The Bravery or Ruby by the Kaiser Chiefs.

For those of you who are missing everyone right now because you’re working all the time or tied up in millions of summer obligations (raise my hand!)…From Where You Are by Lifehouse…it will make you think about anyone who has died too though, so be careful!

And, finally, for those of you who are tired of reading this and want to go to bed…Singing In my Sleep by Semisonic. It’s old, but I like it.

There, I feel better. Have a good week or month or whenever I get back to writing another one of these.

The Lefty Quote Post

2009-07-26T18:53:00.000-07:00

I’m left handed. This is nothing incredibly original, but for Christmas, Lexy, Ben, and Taylor gave me a left handed daily calendar with facts about left handed people and quotes from left handed people. My brain is on overload, so I figured tonight would be a great night to share some of my favorite quotes from left handed people.

And, if anyone wants to have a DO NOTHING weekend with me starting August 21st, feel free to join…summer has been busy and it’s the first weekend in months where I don’t have some type of birthday, wedding, or other event planned, or an event that trumps another event, or anything really. So I plan to DO NOTHING that entire weekend…wait, if I want to do nothing, I shouldn’t be telling anyone unless they want to sit and watch movies on our projector all weekend….I kind of hope it rains all that weekend.

And here goes with some quotes from The Left-Hander’s Calendar…I mean, we are some smart people being that we can write with the wrong hand and all. And apparently, we are better at detecting deception than right handed people too, so always tell me the truth, otherwise I might get you…

“Find something you love, and go after it, with all your heart.” ~Jim Abbott

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” ~Thomas Edison

“We can do anything we want if we stick to it long enough.” ~Helen Keller

“Everything depends on how relentlessly one forces from experience the last drop, sweet or bitter, it can possibly give.” ~James Baldwin

“A great secret of success is to go through life as a man who never gets used up.” ~Albert Schweitzer

“Don’t be afraid to see what you see.” ~Ronald Reagan (see, I don’t totally despise everything Republican)

“We do not own this place, we are just passengers.” ~Robert Redford

And, that’s all. I’m currently a fan of Keri Hilson and think you should go listen to her. I am currently not a fan of my car hitting 5000 miles after less than three months, but, my little baby commute is still fantastic and it will start to balance out over the rest of the year. And honestly, this heat isn’t bothering me much since I have the luxury of living in an air conditioned house…just remember to check on your older neighbors this week to make sure they are alright in the heat.

Begging Tater

2009-06-29T23:25:00.000-07:00

Taylor loves food. Most 11 month old babies probably do, but, this girl is persistent...she can already say banana, she zeroes in on anyone with anything edible (if she doesn't already have some) and bats her pretty eyelashes (or more appropriately I suppose...makes puppy dog eyes) until she gets what she wants. My stepmom just told the story of her at the airport this past week...she'd make contact with anyone eating, and walk right up to them and do exactly what she's doing in the picture above...minus the four legged competition...and people would cave and hand her food. The kid even says 'Anen' before prayer is over because she gets so excited about food following an 'Amen.' So far, the kid is a tall and slender eating machine, much like her crew of aunties and uncles.

These two pics will serve as good ammo for embarrassing her for many years to come...

I can't believe I only have two more weeks with this little girl until she's mostly gone for three years. Good thing Arizona and Oregon are pretty close...

The Almost Summer Post

2009-06-14T20:36:00.000-07:00

I'm starting my new job in the morning, ready for the real summer to kick in, and loving life (as usual). Not much to report at the moment really, but, I'm never one to leave my opinions at the door now am I?

Four miles: That's my new commute starting Monday morning...the shortest commute I have ever had for a job. This translates into about 2900 miles a year of driving for work...that's what I have typically been doing in about six weeks. Eight hours of my life back, a chance to workout in the morning, lunch at home when I want to, a view of Mt. Hood from my building...I'm excited. Maybe I should add in here though that I'm very thankful for the friendships that came out of my Salem DHS experience and I'm not about to let you guys fade away. Just pray for me that everyone at the new office is okay with having 'the loud one' move in.

See this: The Hangover...it's made over $100 million for a reason...it's hilarious. Fellow Child Welfare friends will have a hard time looking past the baby issues...but, you'll get over it.

Don't go see this: Orphan...kids who need adopted have it hard enough as it is. This little 'Esther' character is wrong, wrong, wrong and will kill the adoption rate in the United States, at least for a little while. Yeah, I'd like to think I'm joking, but, I'm serious. Esther's just no Little Orphan Annie.

Favorite new artist from Pandora: Jose Gonzalez...typical 'Sarah' music, but I'm incredibly fascinated by his voice at the moment, so, let me love it :).

Disturbing: The Naked Bike Ride through downtown Portland. I kind of forgot this was occurring Saturday night, and got stuck in the middle of it...literally. 1000 naked/mostly naked people on bikes...there are no words to explain this experience, really, and not in a good way.

Addictions: I'm currently struggling with addictions to Slurpees and Frosters, Tillamook Teriyaki Beef Sticks, McDonald's mochas and Starbucks Chai Tea Lattes, Circus Animal Cookies, Spaghettios with meatballs, and thankfully to balance all that crap out...running. So, by the end of the summer, I will probably still be 10 pounds lighter...because if I run too much, I disappear, even when I eat like this. Yay cracked out metabolism! Thanks dad's genes...because of them, I can take many nights off from pounding the pavement.

Kyle: First of my six siblings I have ever seen graduate from high school. I almost cried a few times just because it was such a cool experience, but also because it was kind of sad knowing a few of the family members are leaving the NW soon and we won't be travelling in our usual loud pack everywhere...please remind me that frequent flier miles are better than uprooting and following the sibs this time around...not that it wasn't fun when I graduated from college, but, taze me if I try to move!!!

And since I will have more time on my hands, I figured that I should start reading books again. Send me some suggestions so I don't end up subscribing to too many girly magazines that suggest $550 shoes and challenging high maintenance men are in my budget...because as we know...neither are.

Songs of the moment...The Last High by The Dandy Warhols and anything by Sufjan Stevens...I always forget about them until I hear one song, and then I remember why everyone should love them.

Onward with the new job!

Sorry, But Life Could Be a Nickelback Song

2009-05-24T00:12:00.000-07:00

I always feel like I need to explain myself when I am home writing on a Saturday night. So, for once, I won’t…and I will just say I am content, slightly sunburnt, and really ready to go to sleep…so this will be all over the place, and probably end with no real closure, as usual.

At least there will be a doctor in the family when they come back…I’m bummed. Okay, I‘m actually happy for them, but, my little sister Lexy, niece, and brother in law are moving away for a few years so Ben can go to med school in Arizona. Last time a baby relative of mine moved away, I ended up leaving the state for 4 years, so someone tie me down so I don’t follow this time. I wish them luck, but, I’m still probably going to try to kidnap Taylor before they leave. I’m expecting to spend many a long winter weekend in Arizona starting next year. You can come along if you’d like…sun in the winter, yes please!

Shocking Offer: I scored a new job. Pretty exciting stuff. No more commuting, no more caseload, no more Salem…but still with the same state agency, so everything carries over like vacation, benefits, etc. I listened to the job offer message three times to make sure my new boss actually said my name, and I am still slightly in shock that I got it. I can’t lie…I was literally jumping up and down for about three hours the morning I found out…and then Thomas took me out for Starbucks to celebrate, so I pretty much shook the rest of the day from the shock and overdose on caffeine. I feel kind of blessed as direct case work was starting to get the best of my heart, head, and energy. I’ll miss my kids and the many awesome people I work with for sure, but, this is an exciting new opportunity, and I am thrilled to be a part of it. It’s a pilot project for at least one year where I will be assessing ALL kids in foster care in my region for the payment rate redesign. I start June 8th.

Vroom: I decided to get myself a brand new little Rav-4 a couple weeks ago after mulling it over for almost six months…Bailey friendly so we can go everywhere together again. Normal cars weren’t meant for me. You can’t load tons of crap in them, camp or sleep in them, or carry a 90 pound dog around with you. Plus, the car had some baggage to it that I just wanted to let go of…and now, the baggage, and the car, are long gone. It’s black, gets better gas mileage than my last car, and it already has its OSU sticker and license plate cover on the back. I’ll take you somewhere in it one day (except you dad, because you don’t like when other people drive I hear).

Holla to Mt Hood Softball! Who has the MVP of the NWAACC tournament in her family?! I do!!! Mt. Hood’s college softball team scored their first championship, carried by none other than my own little sister, Miss Lauren Hadenfeld. She was amazing, and I (like the rest of our crazy family) am extremely proud of her.

Sun Kil Moon: Finally got to see these guys in concert. Simply amazing! I am marrying Mark Kozelek’s voice. Not him, just his voice. It should be an interesting union.

A Little Thing: Some know that I always, ALWAYS carry food in my car (because, despite my slender appearance, I eat, constantly). Lately, I have realized that some need this food more than I do. Every time I pass the place where my family unloaded 50 lunches in three minutes on Christmas Day, I think about how many people don’t have food, money, anything. So, I rolled down my window the other day and handed off a granola bar to a homeless guy. He looked at it, then looked at me, and said thank you. I liked that. I’m going to carry a box or two in my car at all times now. It’s a little thing, but still.

Good Times: It’s mentioned in numerous books, theories, and songs, but, I’m truly convinced that good stuff happens when you are thinking good and doing good. Sure, there are setbacks, life’s imperfections, unavoidable tragedies, and those days where you just want to hole up and go to sleep, but, overall, if you think it, you can probably achieve it, or change the bad…to some degree at least. Walk the walk you want others around you to walk, do the things that would make whoever you think is watching proud, think about how to make your life better everyday. Not to say you can’t have some Jello Shots and lie about getting married on occasion, or decide to skip church because you saw Angels and Demons two nights before, or just have a pissy day now and then…but…don’t shoot me for comparing life to a Nickelback song…listen to If Today Was Your Last Day. How Nickelback can spin a tune that makes me think is beyond me, but, on occasion, Top 40 gets the best of me. As the guys with bad hair say…“Each day’s a gift and not a given right.” I just know that I’m loved, blessed, and surrounded by the most amazing people, all the time. I love that. Now, if any of them can find me someone to marry or offer themselves up for me to marry, life would be just about flawless. I’m not kidding…really!

Songs of the moment…Maybe Be Alright by William Fitzsimmons, Single by Ne-Yo, Up in Here by DMX (I like to dance to it) and Blinded by the Light by Manfred Mann’s Earth Band…Megan, you may need to move to my new branch so we can continue to be twins born 6 years apart...HIIIII TUNNEL!!!

The Blessing and Fault

2009-05-08T00:20:00.000-07:00

I heard from someone you're still pretty, and then, they went on to say that the Pearly Gates have such eloquent graffiti like: “We'll meet again” and “Fuck the Man” and “Tell my mother not to worry”…

The above doesn’t necessarily tie into anything I’m about to write, nor did I write it…but, I like it and thought it was worth seeing. So, now it’s on with the show…

I haven’t been sleeping very well for a couple weeks now. I have some obvious ideas about why this is, but won’t mention them, and I can actually identify times when I sleep better. I just know my mind refuses to turn off most nights.

I don’t like when people are hurting, especially people close to me, but also people I barely know. Who does really? Sometimes I wonder I guess, but for me, this has been both a blessing and a fault of mine for years. I just wish that I could instantly ’fix’ certain things for certain people so that they are happier, healthier, and ’wholer’ as if that’s a word. Why isn’t ’wholer’ a word anyway? I like how it sounds. I’m submitting it to the dictionary Gods.

I just wrote a lot and decided to erase it. I’ll replace it with this…at church on Sunday, the pastor mentioned that we are not the policemen of the world and to focus your ‘love’ on the people you truly care about, then let the others figure it out for themselves.

Maybe it’s the line of work I have done for nine years, but that’s hard for me to grasp. And I know he didn’t mean to turn yourself into a thoughtless person when interacting with people who aren’t close to you…but, I focus on strangers all the time in my work, hoping to mold them into ‘better’ people. I love it at times, and other times I just feel like a nagging bitch because they don‘t listen. Meanwhile, people very close to me could definitely use the energy I am expending on people who don’t want to hear it right now. So, maybe I will work on my approach so that I am mentally ready to be there for the ones I truly want to be there for.

Alright, the root of this personality appraisal of myself…I have been thinking that going back to school to become a counselor of some type is in my future. Maybe FAR future, but, what I’m doing right now seems more like grand maintenance of chaos…it’s just not exactly what I love about social work. I’m thinking school, crisis, grief, something in those categories. My job is getting to me, and while I know I’m passionate about what I do…I just don’t have enough time to do the part I truly love because of all the paperwork, policy, and procedure. I’m getting jaded, and I feel it getting worse rather than better.

Anyway, lyrics at the top of this are from The Trapeze Swinger by Iron and Wine. The whole song is fabulous and also says…so please remember me, mistakenly in the window of the tallest tower, call, then pass us by, but much too high to see the empty road at happy hour gleam and resonate just like the gates around the Holy Kingdom with words like: “lost and found" and "don't look down" and “someone save temptation”

Another good quote: Death ends a life, not a relationship. I saw that yesterday and thought how true it is of everyone I’ve never wanted to forget…and never will.

Lessons From Vegas...

2009-04-25T01:08:00.000-07:00

Las Vegas is awesome. There was a point in my life when I would not have said this, and it had something to do with having to be there for a wedding that ended up getting annulled three weeks later and spending too much time in the gambling areas of casinos.

But now, I love the place. Last year, a few friends literally forced me into buying a ticket to go with them on a big trip with several people. I teetered for weeks, remembering that I hated that place...the smoke, the stupidity, the little porno cards that they flick at you on every corner. But, (cue the violin of 'wah wah wah') I was in a crappy place in my life, and definitely needed to get out of town and forget about things for a while. And that is exactly what ended up happening...I went, I danced, I (sorry responsible people in my family) drank more than normal...I had an awesome time.

Going for the Second Annual Vegas Birthday Bash this year was a no brainer...2008 was fantastic. And with 24+ people on board for 2009, we definitely managed to have a blast again.

Here's my advice on how to have fun in Vegas:

1) Go with a big group of people, but don't expect everyone to have to do everything together...you'll just get stressed out. Our group does a great job of planning multiple things to do that you can join in on, or not.

2) DO NOT pay admission to get into any club...no matter how awesome it is. One person in our crew scores a promoter every year, and then prearranges club options for when we arrive. We get in earlier, faster, and FREE...every time. We've been up close to Run and LL Cool J at Rain and Tao, danced our way through high admission clubs for free, been given free drink promotions, got the guys in at the same time as the girls (rare for some of the bigger clubs). PS...Leslie, you're a rockstar for getting this done the past two years.

3) Travel with a posse of very tall, muscular and good looking guys...they'll keep you safe from the skeezy nasty dudes trying to hit on you and buy you drinks, and you will always have a cute guy to dance with, because, well, they already love you. These ones also make excellent babysitters.

4) Don't travel with a posse of very tall, muscular, and good looking guys...they'll keep you far from all the hot dudes trying to hit on you and buy you drinks, and you won't get to dance with any cute strangers. For example...one night I approached some cute foreigners who immediately asked if one of our guys was my husband. I told them no, and I suddenly had free drinks in my hands for the rest of the night. Shh, don't tell my dad this...oh crap...you're reading this aren't you?!

5) That said...don't try to find a husband or wife in Vegas...don't disappear with a stranger around a corner...just look, accept free drinks, and then scurry off with your buddies to the next bar. I guess for some, this one makes no sense...but come on, don't do anything you may regret. Take it for what it is and have fun with the group you came with instead.

6) Believe your buddy when he escorts you to a cab and orders you home...go take a nap and get up in two hours and go back out again. Note on this...NEVER travel alone in Vegas...always have another person with you...even in cabs...I always had someone with me, and most of the time, a male...one of the tall, muscular, cute ones of course.

7) Sunscreen is good. Apply it correctly. Especially after you get out of the lazy river at your hotel pool. You think I would have learned from my kayaking trip two weeks before.

8) Flipflops are good, even with fancy dresses. There's no point to wearing fancy 4 inch heels when you'll just end up taking them off to walk barefoot on the filthy streets because your feet hurt so bad. BUT, boys and girls...remember to take NICE shoes/heels for the clubs, because flipflops and tennis shoes don't fly at most of them.

9) Eat food. Let me say that again...eat food!

10) If you're traveling with a significant other...think ahead and make sure you are actually getting along well enough to go together to a place where there are tons of beautiful people and lots of opportunities to get mad when people drink too much. Nuff' said.

11) Take advantage of the Limos and Party Busses. As cheesy as they may seem, it's usually cheaper than splitting people off into multiple cabs. Plus, they really are kind of fun.

12) Don't get talked into anything you don't want to do...glare at the porno card guys, ignore the Grand Canyon helicopter tour promoter, don't accept a drink if the dude freaks you out.

13) Gamble $1...each year, I've lost it in 10 seconds...plenty good for me.

14) Buy a lot of alcohol, mixers, and water at the CVS closest to your hotel room...drink before you go to the club that sells $12 baby shots of Jaeger. You'll save a grip of cash that you will be able to spend on replacing your wallet, ID, and/or cell phone when you lose it.

15) Remember that almost no one in Vegas is ever going to see you again...change your name, drink too much, laugh too loud, pretend to be from a foreign country, tell people you are a rocket scientist. I was Catherine, I was 'married' to some of my buddies if a weirdo approached me, I flirted shamelessly to get free drinks, I danced until my pedicure was history, I DID glare at the porno card flicking guys. It's the only time of year that I am completely comfortable being 'That Girl'...yes, that one...because in reality, I was safe, had a blast, and stuck with my friends the whole time.

Hmm, some songs of the moment...Vegas by Sara Bareilles will do. And I'm kind of overplaying Somewhere Only We Know by Keane right now too. Oh, maybe I should admit that I am going through a Rascal Flatts stage again also. The band at my church sing 'Stand' so I'm liking that one at the moment.

Oh, I no longer work on Fridays...life just got that much better.

Dizzy Talk

2009-03-23T22:41:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been dizzy on and off for three days from some mystery something, but, it's time for some updates on the life of me and the lives of the ones I adore...

Violet...I hope you are here and we just haven't heard yet!!!

My little brother Scott got engaged to Christi last Thursday. Sure, he's only 21, has me beat by ten years in the whole engagement endeavor (okay, I was engaged once, but the whole follow through to the altar obviously didn't happen), and also spurred the awesome question from my father, "So, honey, when are you going to follow suit?" That all won't change the fact I'm happy about it...I'm pretty fond of officially adding another great person to the family. Congratulations guys.

On the wedding track...today I went to the wedding of my old friend Brian Beck. His new wife Heather has a son, and they included him in the ceremony, bought him a ring, and inscribed it with his new name (he's taking Brian's last name). I thought that was such a great idea to include him like that. Congrats Brian, Heather, and Casey...you guys make a cute family.

I only have a few weekends until Vegas. This year, we've got 24 people going. Last year was a blast, and I imagine this year will be just the same, if not better. I really need that break from work right about now, and the sunshine too...

Really, I have nothing more to write about right now other than that I'm pretty thankful for where my life is at the moment, the friends I have, and the family that seems to keep getting bigger and bigger everyday. I may exhaust people by saying that, but, I'm happy for all of this, everyday, and I kind of think that the day I start taking it for granted is the day that I'm not me anymore.

Last words...

A cute quote that I'll publish without giving away the author, other than that she's pre-kindergarten and was saying this to one of her favorite people..."Will you SHUT UP, I'm talking to God right now!" There's other quotes from her that floor me as well, but, that's the only one I'm offering up to public ears, just because it's so hilarious.

And to an old friend in SLC...I'll keep you in my thoughts until you weather the storms, and after of course.

My song of the moment (and if you make fun of me, I'm, well, nevermind...I deserve it)...I Hate This Part by The Pussycat Dolls. Yeah, once again, I find myself saying...huh?!

Happy Spring people...we made it out of winter alive. I mean, summer is only a few months away now.

Hope, Late at Night

2009-03-09T00:01:00.001-07:00

I went to church today with three of my friends. This isn't something I do very often, but, I was invited and actually enjoyed it.

After church, we went to lunch and, as we usually do, got to talking about random things. The theme of the sermon today was 'hope' which was fitting considering the personal issues of some of us at the moment and the general state of the US as well. As we continued talking, I made the comment that "Life is frigging great right now." It was met with some giggles and laughter...I mean, who says 'frigging' right?

Well, the point of the statement was, and I said this...

I've got a job...friends and family I adore...a roof over my head...minimal debt...food anytime I want it...dispensible income...a nice and safe car...trips out of town as I see fit...a bright future, blah, blah, blah...

Most everyone reading this probably has something they're struggling with. Some much more than others whether that be not finding a job, grief, debt, illness, relationship woes. A friend of mine posted an article the other day that reported crisis call lines in Oregon are up 72% right now. People are thinking of giving up, they're crashing, they're lying in bed all day, they're isolating themselves from their friends. For lack of a better word, it kind of sucks.

Anyway, there's a line in a very popular song that I really like that says: "And while you're out there gettin' where you're gettin' to, I hope you know somebody loves you..."

No one is alone. And you're probably much more loved than you'd guess, even if you're an ass to people. I guess I just hope that people feel comfortable letting others know when they're struggling and need help, or if they're just feeling pissed and need someone to put their life in perspective for them. Whether your outlet is friends, God, a crisis line, or a random stranger on the street...find someone to help you feel better if you can't seem to do it yourself...and don't feel bad about it either...because eventually you'll get to a point where you'll make yourself feel better on your own...but that time doesn't always have to be right now.

At the end of lunch, one of the four of us stated that he's tattooing HOPE on his wrist now, and IDIOT of his forehead. We'll work on talking him out of the latter one...maybe.

Songs of the moment: You Found Me by The Fray, Cobwebs by Ryan Adams, Never Hold Back by Method Man. Don't ask about the last one...I just like it.

Baby Sischo is officially named Brayden James Sischo now. I'm still going to call him Love, at least until he starts telling me to quit when he is ten.

Oh, and I get to go see William Fitzsimmons in concert in a few weeks. For the few of you who know who he is, this is a cool thing. Everyone else can make fun of me. I'll get over it.

My New Love...

2009-03-01T22:20:00.000-08:00

Occasionally, someone comes along who captures your heart, brings an instant smile to your face, makes you know that you are going to love them for as long as you live...this little guy is one of those people.

Introducing the first born son of Levi and Robin Sischo. He decided to finally come into this world 13 days late on Friday February 27, 2009 at 8:45 am by C-section weighing in at 7 pounds, 15 ounces. At press time, he is yet to be named, so I think my only name for him is going to be 'Love.' I've already warned him that he is stuck with me for the rest of his life...he seemed okay with this...I am pretty sure I got a thumbs up underneath his hand protectors.

As many know, Robin is one of my best friends, but also more like a sister to me...making Love an extra special addition to my life. To me, he's just another addition to my family. I couldn't put him down on Friday, and can't wait to see him again already.

Congratulations Robin and Levi!

Two by Two

2009-02-22T02:32:00.000-08:00

It’s late, I’ve been out all day, and I should be sleeping, but, I can’t sleep…or I don’t want to. I’ll figure that part out later.

So, there’s been a lot on my mind lately…superficial things like whether or not to buy a new car, what kind of cute clothes I want to buy for my Vegas trip, what color pen I’d prefer to balance my checkbook with, why I have completely justified wearing a heart shaped ring from Tiffany that an ex gave me as an ‘empowering ring‘ now…but then, there’s the other stuff, that maybe I shouldn’t write about, but come on…this is me…and now this is just a run on sentence.

Anyway, I was out with friends tonight playing pool. One of them has had absolute crap happen to him recently and it just seems unfair. That’s as far as I will go because, while I have feelings about it and want to ‘fix‘ the situation for him, it’s not my business to share his struggles with you, and only time and lots of support is going to improve what he‘s going through. So, onto me…at the pool hall, a song came on, and I sang along to it. It reminded me of being at a bowling alley slow dancing with a really cute ten month old baby. I didn’t like it…not the song, or the feeling in that moment…I loved that moment actually…but just remembering it and having feelings about it…and missing it.

I know what I want, how I want my life, what I have done thus far to succeed in getting to where I am. I’m proud that my boss recently called me a ’shining star’ and assigned me to some special committee that only two of us from my building got assigned to. I love that I have amazing friends and a family that I’d rather spend most of my time with, and that my dad thinks not seeing him for eight days is ’too long’ and that my step mom simply refers to me now as ’my daughter,’ no ‘step’ included. Honestly though, I’m not particularly content at the moment, and I am not sure how to fix that. But I know it surrounds the other half and all those pieces we are supposed to fulfill by a certain age. I like the whole idea of going on two by two in this world, but, yeah, not sure where to go at this point with that ideal.

I’m also wondering why Bailey will lie down somewhere but not move his toys first…even if it’s his favorite spot…he’ll just mold himself around where the toys have fallen.

And really, I should be going to bed now, so, that’s all.

My Mummy Peeve

2009-02-09T21:37:00.001-08:00

Alright, to start, a few things in a sentence or three each:

Chris Brown: You idiot, what were you thinking?
Work: Small successes between the failures and teenage thinking errors are keeping me in it.
Annual Work Review: My boss told me I am a 'star who has been shining and shining the whole time'...that was pretty great because I doubt myself daily in this job.
Steve: I love and miss you still. I will never get tired of letting you know this.
Robin: I already love your son and can't wait for him to come to the world. He will fit in well at our Wednesday lunches. I love you too by the way and I thought about you all yesterday and today.
Trina: I still can't think about Robin's baby shower without getting tears in my eyes...what a great memory for the rest of our lives. And you need to market your perfume btw. Good stuff.

And on with the show...

So, little known fact, but my freshman year of college, I thought I wanted to be an archaeologist...probably not the best idea considering I just had to Google the profession to figure out how it's spelled. Well, the class was really early in the morning, I hated figuring out what era different artifacts came from, the professor's facial hair annoyed me, and the dream quickly turned back to my first love of journalism. Okay, so that major died too when I figured out I would have to betray my beloved OSU for Duckland to get a degree in it, but that's not the story right now.

Tonight, this news story on thirty mummies being discovered popped up on MSN. I'm not sure why, but the idea of us digging up someone's grave bothers me incessantly every time a new mummy find is reported. Maybe it's the fact that 'gravedigging' and 'corpse abuse' are felonious crimes in North America, but most of it lies in my feelings that these people, however long ago, were laid to rest with meaning and rituals, surrounded by people in tears just like today. I feel like we are reversing all of what was meaningful at their burials.

I understand that people want to know history, the past, what happened hundreds to thousands of years ago. And I understand that documentation of how we live today seems a little more blatant than it was back then. But, how many years will it be until they are digging up our graves to figure out how we lived?

I am sure about five people in the US will agree with me on this, but, I'm sticking to my thoughts that I'd prefer if we left the 'mummies' alone and let them rest in peace. And, remember, I'm sticking to becoming dust in the wind, literally.

Hopefully this isn't too much of a crazy rant, but, while I am at it, I will just add in that I also think it'd be nice if I-5 and Oregon country roads employed someone to collect the dead animals on a more regular basis. They probably deserve a little love too, even though they're dead. Yep, I know that sounds insane. But, this is from a girl who used to not crush spiders (though I gave up on that this summer after they attacked the Roethe House...vacuum=friend).

Alright, that's enough for now. Restless Winter Sarah has been kicking in lately. The 2nd Annual Vegas Trip is two months away...that should take care of me until summer. I'm hoping.

25 things you may or may not care about regarding me...

2009-01-29T20:57:00.000-08:00

I got tagged somewhere else to write up 25 facts about me. What better excuse to publish it into my blog so I can remember these 25 facts for years to come. Anyway, for those who are wondering, or not...

1. I will probably never move out of the Pacific Northwest again.
2. I LOVE playing board games with my family and extended family and would rather do that than go out and party. Maybe I’m getting old.
3. I have never been in a tanning bed, and plan to never be in one.
4. I really hate when people have “Well behaved women rarely make history” as their tagline on their social networking pages. It always seems to be attached to some bimbo who has pictures of herself in seductive poses or taking shots and beer bongs…I’d much rather be well behaved than portray myself like that.
5. That said, I did teach younger ‘kids’ in the fraternity I lived in for a summer how to shotgun beers. Oh, what a proud moment to admit that.
6. I want a picture with me and all six of my siblings together, and assume that it may happen when I finally get married.
7. When people call me to ‘catch up’ and then hang up without ever asking me how I am doing, it drives me insane.
8. I have a juice box every morning on the way to work, and have for well over a year now…100% juice of course.
9. I have wanted twin boys since I was a little kid, and still do. I (scare the men away) know what I would name them too, though, when I was little, I was going to name them after the twin lead singers from Nelson…not so much anymore.
10. Even though I really like camping, I have discovered that I am much more into staying in hotels with showers…I hate to admit this.
11. Eleven is my most favorite number.
12. I don’t spend as much time with my dog as I should, and I feel genuinely guilty in the morning when he plays the pity party and cowers to the ground as I walk out the door.
13. Guns still pretty much terrify me.
14. I cried the first time I saw my niece Taylor. She was, and still is, so beautiful.
15. I wanted to be a roadie for a hard rock band when I was in middle school
16. I still think George W. Bush is a criminal.
17. I almost always play country music when I am driving in the country.
18. I have a celeb crush on Joel McHale from The Soup. I have no idea why.
19. Soda of any kind, diet or regular, is virtually out of my diet this year.
20. I prefer living with males to females and am kind of sad that one day, I will probably have to move out and not live with Will and Gary anymore.
21. I really like wearing dresses and am not sure why I don’t wear them more often.
22. I have a Hallmark Christmas ornament for every year of my life, BUT forgot to buy it this year, and it is one in a collector’s line…crap!
23. Sitting in court for nine hours with family and extended family on Tuesday was interestingly enjoyable.
24. I really do only watch The Office and The Soup this year…
25. I probably make up for all that other time screwing around on Facebook though.

Assault By A Short Mercedes Posse

2009-01-25T17:55:00.000-08:00

My friend got hit by a car on Friday night while I was with her. Wait, wait, wait, before you get all nervous, let me tell the story of the little monsters who did this...

On Friday after decorating Gwyn's house for her baby shower, Natasha and I decided we were starving...STARVING! So, we swung back by her condos to pick up our friend Edee. They live downtown close to Henry's, so we decided to find a parking spot in between there and their condos. Parking in downtown Portland is always a major competition on the weekends, and this is where the fun begins.

Natasha eyed a spot from across the street and shouted out for me to snag it. We crossed through the intersection and I nosed in across traffic to get it. Up speeds a Mercedes, clearly ready to push us out of the spot that is rightfully ours now. "Wait, I'll get out and stand in the spot," Natasha said as she got out of the car. She went to the back corner of the spot and stood there so I could back in. I'm looking in my rear view mirror, when all of a sudden, I see Natasha pushed toward me. What the hell, did they just hit her?! The car then sped off.

We secure the spot, and Natasha comes back to the passenger door. "Did they just hit you!?" I yell. "Yeah, they ran into me!" she shouts. They decided to nudge her with their car, and then kept the gas on, pushing her forward. Who does that?!

So, we go into Henry's to eat. Our time there goes well, other than random pickup lines from men...did you know that the new pickup line in a bar is apparently, "Excuse me, what is that you're drinking?" Really, really, lame, especially when you're drinking virgin mojitos, Hef, and water...this conversation can only go so far men, especially when it's girl's night and we have no interest in talking to you anyway.

So, we pay the tab, and we're about to leave when three short little guys come up to us and say, "Oh, there you are...NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! Never steal someone else's parking spot!" "What," we reply. "We had the spot," Natasha says to them. "No, no, that was our spot, we talked to the guy and everything." "How were we supposed to know that?" Natasha asks. "Well, just don't steal people's spots again, you could get shot, or your car could get keyed." "Whatever, we had the spot," we say. "We needed the closer spot because we're girls and we shouldn't have to walk as far in the dark," I tell them. They don't think it's funny. "We are leaving, so you can have our seats if you want," Edee offers up. "Oh, you girls are so rude," they say. "What? We are offering you our spots!" "Whatever guys, who hits someone with their car," I yell.

Their reply to Natasha..."I should sue you for $800 for denting my bumper!" (And yes, he IS talking about the bumper he hit her with!)

Are you kidding me?! I wish we would have gotten their plate number so Natasha could press charges (though, luckily, she's completely fine). We leave, flipping them off a little bit, telling them they are stupid. I wanted to remind them that what they did could be a felony, a big crime...but these idiots are remorseless, and don't seem to understand why hitting someone with your car is not okay in America. We walk back and do a once over on my car...no keyed marks, dents, or concerning issues...other than that these guys are likely to strike again with their Mercedes...

I guess that's just what you do when your whole posse is shorter than 5'6" tall.

Far From the End of This Book...

2009-01-21T19:43:00.000-08:00

Sunday night was my family birthday party. We waited an extra week to celebrate because my stepmom was in Orlando for my real birthday and she really wanted to be there too...she has a thing about not missing our birthdays.

After dinner, my dad started talking about one of the presents he brought for me. He said he picked out the book I used to make him read to me every night before bed when I was little. He scurried off to the kitchen and came back with the little board book of "The Monster at the end of this Book." (Click on the link for a tragic story about Grover from The Onion). The instant he handed it to me, I remembered how much I loved that book as a kid. He said that my sister would get mad because every night, we each got to pick a book, and she would choose different ones, but I would always get this one. Then, he put on his best Grover voice and told me, "And I used to read it to you with this voice, and as you turned every page you would laugh and laugh."

I like when my dad tells me these stories about my young days with him, and I thought it was cute that he found a book I adored to give to me as a present. Most everyone who reads my postings knows our history of being apart, but every day I have with everyone in my family makes me thankful that I get another 80 or so years to make up for lost time with them.

And on separate notes...ever since I bought an iPhone, driving and texting has kind of gone the wayside. I know I used to be the texting monster, but texting on an iPhone while driving seems to be the best chance I have at committing involuntary manslaughter at a young age...so if I don't reply, go old fashioned and ring me up.

I am thinking about putting in for a transfer up to the Portland area for work. It appears I will get to stay in my current house for quite a long time, so it seems logical to stop commuting ten hours per week and spend that time with friends, family, and Bailey the loveable 91 pound mutt instead. I'm still on the fence, but I'm pretty exhausted too, so transferring will probably ring victorious.

Oh, I really miss Mexico too. I figured out that I really do like Mexican food...as long as it is actually made in Mexico. I can't get Fajita Republic, Quixote's, or shrimp out of my head. Well, that and the 80 degree sun filled days. Where do I want to go next winter?

I have no songs of the moment right now. The Office can be my show of the moment instead...mostly because I forgot to start watching all the other shows I used to watch last year again this year, so The Office is the only one that I have picked up again...

"Learn your rules, you better learn your rules. And if you don't, you'll be eaten in your sleep. Chomp."

Two Stories About Lilac Dresses

2009-01-13T20:22:00.000-08:00

There's two stories about the dresses, both worth hearing. I liked Amanda's telling of the first one the best, but since she's not here at the moment, I will try to dictate from her voice for the first story...

Story One: "So, Sarah, Kyla, and I were supposed to be in a wedding on Saturday. The bride picked out three dresses, but they were BORING, I mean, plain with no embellishments, too long, just dull! So, we decided to alter them and add all these pretty ribbons and bows and tulle. Well, we arrived for the wedding and the bride got so mad, she kicked us out of the wedding! Can you believe it!? Keep in mind that Sarah was going to miss part of her birthday party to be in this stupid wedding, and the bride was so ungrateful! So, we decided to come out to the party in our dresses since we didn't get to wear them in the wedding."

The girls told Story One all night to random people in the bar and were gifted with free drinks, begged for pictures, and heard multiple, "Oh, that bride is so stupid, you guys look beauuuutiful!" Drunk people were especially compassionate to the woes of the jilted bridemaids. It cracked me up...well, kind of cracked me up because mine was on so tight around my rib cage that I could hardly breathe. But Story Two makes me laugh too just because these girls take their themed outfits so seriously...

Story Two: Kyla and Amanda dress up for everything...denim jumpsuits for a Sir Mix A Lot concert, blue eyeshadow for a night out on the town, coordinating business suits from Goodwill for a day at the office, animal prints for their bookclub...we're always wondering what they will come up with next. So, when they announced to me that they needed to dress me up as a pretty pretty princess for my birthday party, I was a little scared. But, I agreed. The days leading up are filled with shrieky phone calls and texts about what we will be wearing. It's decided that we want to look "pretty pretty" instead of "trashy pretty"...if there is such a thing. So, Thursday I head over to their office to try on the first dress...it's a teeny little kids dress in the lovely shade of lilac we ended up wearing. "You guys, I'm not THAT small," I shriek. Well, any good crafty girls have measuring tape in their social service office, so they pull it out and measure me up. "Okay, come back tomorrow, we will be ready."

Well, 'tomorrow' turns into a packed day with a child on meth by my side all day, not my idea of fun, but work is going to have to take precedence. So, no fitting. Then Saturday is too chaotic to make the 'fitting' as well. "Just bring the dress to the party and we will wing it" I text Kyla on the way back up to Portland.

Welcome to 8:30 pm. Guests are arriving for the party, and Amanda's husband Nathan comes in and waves me over. "Hey, the girls are outside waiting for you." "Oh crap, really. Can they change and come in til more guests arrive." "Oh, no, they are in their dresses and didn't bring any back ups." "Oh, well, I guess I better get out there then." As we walk out, Nathan explains his last 24 hours of sewing bows on our dresses and getting to be the model for my dress. "They made me put it on, but I made them fix the torso because I knew they were making it too short for you." He clearly is used to his wife's sewing escapades. We arrive to the car, and Amanda and Kyla are giggling on the sidewalk with a big bag labeled 'Goodwill' on it. They see me and yell, "Take off your clothes!" "Here?!" We're on a residential sidewalk. "Strip!" Off come the clothes and they cram me into the dress. As they are getting me into the dress, they explain that they drove all the way to Corvallis to find this little number and sewed bows on it on the way back up. It barely fits around my ribs, but they fight the zipper like this is the biggest battle they're about to win. The zipper goes up, the air leaves my body...they tear the Goodwill tag off with one swift pull, and we head in to have some fun in our lovely lilac dresses.

So, the dresses were a great addition to my 31st birthday, even if people were wondering why in the world we were in fluffy lilac gowns with fur and bow embellishments (the wedding of course!). I have moments of boldness, but this one actually made me really nervous before doing it, so I am glad these girls literally stripped me on the sidewalk and made me wear my dress...which has since been best described by this quote... "Good lord - there's enough flounce in there to power at least two seasons of Sex in the City!"

Thanks again girls. And thanks to everyone else too for making 31 a memorable birthday weekend.

A Collection of Quotes, Mostly From 2008

2009-01-07T18:59:00.000-08:00

Quotes I like that I am dumping off my Facebook because it's a new year and it's getting to be too many...so here they are:

"Once you're connected with someone, time and space become irrelevant." ~sideon...I have never met this guy, but it sums up how I think about everyone.

"The most violent element in society is ignorance." ~Emma Goldman...on a bumper sticker on a hippie car of course...love it.

Wes: "What are you doing?"
Me: "Sitting in the sun."
Wes: "I knew it!" ~Wes and I, 2006...I like to rub this one in every year.

"We can't change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." ~Randy Pausch...I hate pancreatic cancer, and losing great people like this guy.

"Women are crazy. Men are assholes." ~David Gonzales...thanks for the accurate analysis.

"Prove it!" ~Kirack...and occasionally I do, though I prefer 'do nothing' days if the sun is not out.

"If I never give up, I will eventually succeed." ~a child welfare caseworker...the video surrounding this quote made me cry...I guess I do really love my job, most days.

"Sarah, you make Pollyanna look like a pessimist!" ~Megan Vandecoevering...thanks Megan, I liked that one.

"I want a pet penguin and a doggie door on the fridge so he can go upstairs and go to sleep." ~Jonathan Albright...always random.

"It just creeps me out that he has cats!" ~Jessica Anderson...What?! What about the fact that he had no sense of smell, almost no furnitiure in his house, and showed up unannounced at a bar I was at because he was in the neighborhood "seeing a play"...really?! But yes, this all affirmed I will never be a cat person if the other half doesn't know how to clean up after his cats.

"You two live in your own little autistic world that no one will ever understand." ~Kimmie Harding...I know, I know. Thanks for reminding me of the last ten years of my life with one of my favorite BFF's. And yes, I just used the term BFF.

"If I had opposable thumbs, I'd choke you!" ~Courtney Mattson regarding what a cat thinks when its owners dress it up in a costume.

"You're writing with the wrong hand." ~a gas station attendant in Oakley, Utah...don't try to be left handed in the sticks...this is old, like 2004

"Does anyone want to go down to the natural gas leak and smoke with me?" ~Amber Smith...maybe this was a particularly hard day at work?!

"Dad, how about telling a joke from this century!" ~Kyle Hadenfeld...our dad tells some real winners, but I usually laugh because my jokes are generally just as bad.

Happy belated new year.

Thirty Things From My 30th Year…

2008-12-27T02:35:00.000-08:00

I leave for Mexico on Tuesday and won't be back until 6 days into the new year, so I figured I would offer up early what I figured out in 2008, the exit out of my twenties, my first full year back in Oregon.

Thanks again to all of my family and friends who made it a wonderful, interesting, challenging, thought provoking, exciting, and worth while 30th year of life.

In no particular order...

1) Rafting down the Clackamas river at nightfall is a terribly cold idea. Even if it is 90 degrees that day. Be patient and wait until the next day when the sun is back on the water again.

2) Snow is an evil monster. Please stay in the mountains next time.

3) The best part of Christmas is less about the presents and more about helping out those who truly need it.

4) The second best part is playing games until 2 am with your family, and beating them all at Yahtzee. Nevermind that I horribly lost the other games we played.

5) If your dad throws down “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” as the card for the ‘Song that best represents Sarah is…” it could be his passive aggressive way of saying, “I want more grand kids, preferably in the next decade.” Maybe I should get on that whole marriage track someday.

6) It will never make sense to me that God takes beautiful young mothers away.

7) I did too deserve my Garmin. Hell yes I did.

8) That said, I know I can actually find my way around most of the Portland/Salem Metro area now without Garmin. But, he’s still my best friend, in electronic device form, besides my new iPhone…that thing is pretty addictive.

9) Selfish doesn’t work for me. Neither does self centered. Neither does anyone with cats that aren't clean and cute.

10) It’s okay to cry tears of joy when your Beavs beat the number one team in the country, especially when you are at the game! And it’s okay to cry the next week when they get a bad call at the end and lose the game. And it is okay to cry even more when they blow the biggest game in forty years on their home turf during the Civ...oh man, I can’t go on…I think I am going to go cry now.

11) Selling ex-boyfriend jewelry is an excellent way to fund a trip to Mexico. Well, that, and good old fashioned hard work and overtime.

12) If your friends tell you that you ‘need’ to go to Vegas…you better go to Vegas. And you should probably go the next year too, and make it a point to win MVP again, or at least tie with Wes.

13) I am an Oregonian, tried and true. Anyone who tries to get me to move from this place again is probably going to have to fight most of my friends, and several of my family members, with sharp weapons. Be prepared to leave without me, because they will probably win.

14) I love working with teenagers.

15) I hate when they are on the run, let down by their parents, or in really tough spots in life.

16) I worry about ‘my teenagers’ too much.

17) Slumdog Millionaire is the best movie of my 30th year, hands down.

18) Being designated driver tends to be more fun than being the one driven. And no, peer pressure does not work on 30 year olds.

19) I have very amazing close friends. Really, they are kind of psychic, intuitive, compassionate, matter of fact, ready to kick my ass. I love them.

20) I also have a wonderful family. Not to sound all braggy and stuff, but they’re pretty awesome.

21) And yes, Bailey is still the best dog ever. High emotional needs, snoring, and shedding aside.

22) Not knowing your future niece’s name for 40 weeks while she is in utero can drive you insane. Thanks Tater Bug for being perfect in every way though. I am glad they decided to not name you Lexamin or Ducky.

23) Watching Obama’s acceptance speech and being excited to the point of jumping up and down is completely okay…especially after surviving eight years with that evil guy from Texas.

24) Speeding tickets and parking tickets suck. Especially when you get both for the first time ever in the same year.

25) Nothing really matters unless you want it to.

26) It’s important to see the ocean at least once a year. And even more important to not read too into the fortune that the weird machine on the bay spits out at you. And even most important to load up on as many calories as you can while you are there.

27) Exercise and physical activity kicks the hell out of every negative emotion.

28) Always stay true to yourself and make sure you say what you need to say. But try not to be an asshole too.

29) Going to bed before midnite, while probably good for me, just still seems impossible most nights.

30) Turning, and being 30 was nothing more than a number, and some extra laugh lines, and an excuse to have three parties…I didn’t mind 30 at all and look forward to 31...(and this year, if you want to come to the party and we forgot to put you on the invite, just remind me…it‘s in Portland for those of you down south who fear the bigger city…but it‘s for three of us and it'll be fun!).

Happy New Year everyone. I look forward to all that 2009 brings my way.

Snow Day ADD (And a Plug for Slumdog and Fitzsimmons)

2008-12-14T21:49:00.000-08:00

It's a snowday, on the weekend, so I'm not too happy about it. It's put the kibosh on my family dinner, and I can't go anywhere. Oregon with snow is funny. I'm trying to embrace that a couple inches here is a combination of joy, photo ops, snowmen, and an excuse to stay home all day due to the shear terror of driving. But I'm kind of bored, and not stupid enough to go drive all over Portland, so I'm going to terrorize my blog with my ADD...

1) So my first piece of advice on this snowfilled evening is to go see Slumdog Millionaire. It was seriously the best movie I have seen in years. It evoked the same level of feeling in me that City of God and Crash did years ago. You have to see this movie. It actually just got nominated for four Golden Globes too. Even the children actors in this movie are amazing.

2) Speaking of Golden Globes, I am completely surprised that Tropic Thunder and Pineapple Express got nods. It seems comedies never get any attention, but both were great in my opinion. Of course, Kate Winslet got two nods for Lord knows what, so they still have a lot of evolving to do. (Sorry Kate, I like you and all, but I just don't understand how you can be nominated for almost every role you play...maybe I am still bitter that stupid movie with you and Johnny Depp got nominations).

3) Tonight I put a jingle bell collar on my roommates dog. It's velvety and loud, but she growled at me when I tried to take it off. So now, it's still on, and it sounds like Santa Claus is huffing through our house with his reindeer.

4) My roommate and I are watching an old episode of Fresh Prince right now. The fashion was terrible...did we really dress like that?

5) I've always wanted to name a kid Atticus after the character in To Kill a Mockingbird. I would call him Atty for short. I've been told said child would probably disown me. I may still take a gamble and name a kid Atticus. I hope he is really cute so he can get past it. And no, I am not having 'Atticus' anytime soon.

6) There's this singer out who apparently has a few CD's already, but I'm just hearing about him. His name is William Fitzsimmons. Not a big fan of the facial hair, but it's the music that really matters in this case because I don't have to kiss him, or look at him for that matter. His music is fantastic...and if he shaved he may actually look alright too. He sounds a little like Iron & Wine if you like them.

7) Speaking of William Fitzsimmons...according to Wikipedia, his music has been featured in 'pivotal' scenes on Grey's Anatomy. Okay, okay, so, let me take this chance to say that I think the only reason Grey's is successful is because they play great music at all the so called 'pivotal' scenes. The acting on that show is absolute crap in my opinion. I've watched a couple episodes, and they never use the lame monotone acting to evoke feeling...it's always the really good music. So there, all you Grey's lovers can kick my ass...I hate that damn show and wish it, and all it's bad acting, would go away.

8) If Grey's doesn't go away, at least I get to for a while: I'm leaving the country at the end of December for eight days and I am really, REALLY excited. After a year of digging through myself, and what is, and is not me, 2008 ended up being a wonderful year. So, this is my reward and celebration for a year of hard work on so many levels. Going to a little town close to Puerto Vallarta where my hotel is literally inches from the ocean on a sunny and sandy beach. Can't wait.

9) Back to stalking the 'school and business closure' websites. Someone out there con Oregon into making it so I don't have to take a personal day because I can't get out of my driveway.

Night.

If I Die Before 111...

2008-12-01T20:08:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm not dying. Sure, the Civil War loss over the weekend had me barely clinging onto life, but I survived.

A couple weeks ago at Sunday family dinner, we got to talking about what we want to happen to us when we die. I know, what a cheery conversation for a Sunday evening with the family. But, we decided, it is all pretty important stuff to have arranged if life takes a turn for the Heavens. While I am STILL convinced I will live to be 111 (the numbers represent my birthday...figured it's a good age, with me hitting an expiration around 2089), here are some things I'd like to ensure happen if...well, let's just not finish that sentence...

1) Donate my organs if you can...just not my whole body. Something about that just doesn't sit well with me. I'll let you know if I change my mind and want to give the whole thing...because then #2 won't apply anymore.

2) Don't bury me. I like being loud and think that putting me in the ground would be a disservice to my yelling on the wind in my afterlife. Cremate me, but don't make anyone responsible for trudging around with my ashes in an urn...throw them all over some pretty places instead, and maybe some off a bridge in Portland. Okay, if you want, you can melt some of my ashes into a Christmas ornament, plate, or something. Yeah, I am thinking 'WTF!?' too.

3) While cremating me will literally make me dust in the wind, DO NOT play Dust in the Wind at my memorial service. Some suggestions at this time would be Shiny Happy People by REM just to annoy the hell out of everyone and remind them of the fact that has been my theme song most of my life, Rainbow by G-Love and Jack Johnson, God Only Knows by the Beach Boys, and Happy Phantom by Tori Amos...because dammit, that's what I will be. I am partial to anything else that people want to play...but remember...if Dust in the Wind plays, I will haunt you all for the rest of your lives.

4) Remember I plan to die OLD, after a few cute kids and (preferably) one husband. In that case, they'd get all my stuff. If I leave early though, split all my stuff between my family and close friends, and then donate all my clothes and shoes to shelters for teenagers and women.

5) Donate to a cause you're passionate about instead of sending flowers. Then send my family a note about the awesome cause you decided to give money to. If I have kids, you can donate to their college fund, because college is going to cost a ton by the time I actually have kids and get them to college age.

6) If Bailey outlives me, make sure he goes somewhere where he can continue to be an indoor dog...he is a sensitive boy and just isn't a yard mutt. My dog also needs eighteen squeaky toys at all times, one treat on top of every meal, and to have a bed on the floor in your bedroom. He would probably like to add to this list, but for now, what I write is plenty.

7) Have a party, with a blue kool-aid fountain for Robin. Wear colors, laugh a lot, tell stories, and have a slide show, because, if anyone has noticed, I like pictures and slide shows quite a bit...I mean, you can have like four slideshows going...one for each wall.

8) This one sounds harsh, but make sure my dad, step-mom, siblings, and close friends oversee everything. If you've noticed the parent left out of this, thank you for not making me expand any further.

9) Be sad, but remember I have some good people waiting for me where ever I go. And you'll have a million pictures of me left to look at...ooh, lucky you.

10) Mostly, remember I have 81 years left to live if everything goes my way. Which, judging by the course of my life, things tend to be good almost all the time. And happy, healthy, skinny people live longer, so I should be okay.

Songs of the moment, but not to play when I die:

1) Amsterdam by Coldplay (really, this one is already depressing enough)
2) X-Ray Eyes and Scars and Stiches by Guster
3) Fall Into Me by Emerson Drive (I had a country moment this week)
4) Clockwork by Blackalicious

And a PS...two of my very close girlfriends are having babies in February and March and I think it is okay to publicly congratulate them now...so, congrats to Robin for a yet to be named baby boy around Valentine's Day and Gwyn for a lovely Violet arriving at the start of March. Both of you look SO beautiful pregnant, and I can't wait to have the new little bitties in our lives.

1,2,3,4...Let’s Start a Comment War!

2008-11-20T19:08:00.001-08:00

After I posted the video of Keith Olbermann on my blog, this comment war began on my Facebook...and lasted 37 hours. I won't comment much because the comments speak for themselves, but my favorite comment was when Jonathan decided to make light of the situation and quote a piece of the SNL skit from a couple weeks back with Ben Affleck impersonating Keith Olbermann...and posted the video too. He transcribed it by the way, which is even more impressive. I also got a few private emails from people asking who the hell one person on a tirade was. So, read on...very interesting...

VM Becerra at 9:14am November 17
Keith Obershithead must die, f-ing commie!

Gwyn Johnson at 2:33pm November 17
Yeah...not sure how he is a commie! He is not the one trying to rule others lives. Great VID Sarah!!

Stephen F. Johnson at 2:50pm November 17
Great video. To whoever made the other comment, really, seriously, did you actually listen to what he just said? I mean granted, all of these media talking heads are kind of tools, but really, on this post, on this issue?Eh, what's the use. Just go back to your dumb-as-we-want-to-be, SUV driving, fake conservative ignorant hole and dont bother the rest of us. After all, imposing your will on others just because you dont like them, or the person who controls your ideology for you says so, has a long history of success. It worked for Hitler, right?

Gwyn Johnson at 3:41pm November 17
OOWWCH!

Sarah Chait at 6:43pm November 17
I'd have to agree that Stephen and Gwyn are right on this one. Vic, I think Keith was very warranted on every word he uttered...wanting people to spread love and hoping for equal rights does not make one a Commie...I found Olbermann to be pure genius in this 'speech'...I almost cried because he didn't only hit on gay marriage...he hit on MUCH more than that. Stephen, love the boldness, LOVE IT!

VM Becerra at 7:56pm November 17
I never agree with Sir Elton John, but on this matter, he is dead on. Here is part of his quote.We're not married. Let's get that right. We have a civil partnership. What is wrong with Proposition 8 is that they went for marriage. Marriage is going to put a lot of people off, the word marriage."John and Furnish, and their two cocker spaniels, Marilyn and Arthur, were in town for Tuesday's annual benefit for the Elton John AIDS Foundation. "I don't want to be married. I'm very happy with a civil partnership. If gay people want to get married, or get together, they should have a civil partnership," John says. "The word 'marriage,' I think, puts a lot of people off. "You get the same equal rights that we do when we have a civil partnership. Heterosexual people get married. We can have civil partnerships."

VM Becerra at 8:09pm November 17
Steve, ask Sarah about me, I am a Conservative, and I do drive a Jeep, and I am a card carrying member of the NRA! I also get to help the less fortunate and teach them how to survive on their own, as well as I get to shoot the bad people that want liberals like you dead. As for Obershithead being a commie, yes, sorry Keith, voters did what voters do, and voted. And I would like to thank the Black vote in California, because they saved marriage.

David Aguayo at 8:21pm November 17
What a weak opinion of marriage it must be that feels threatened by people different than yourself wanting to take part. Maybe we should question every person on how well they respect their marriages or marriage in general so we can better save the institution and save people from their fears.

Stephen F. Johnson at 8:31pm November 17
You are familiar with the concept of mccarthyism, right?http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McCarthyism A certain senator/political block who destoyed people's lives and careers, generally for no good reason other than personal gain, by calling them communists. I see no good reason at all why making an argument for giving people equal rights makes Olberman a communist. In fact, if history is any guide, ad hominem attacks against an indidvidal as opposed to a critique of their argument, combined with a threat to kill them, would be far more indicative of communist/totalitarian behavior then someone arguing for equal rights. There is another concept, on which this country was founded, that seems to me that it ought to be more applicable here: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness."

Sarah Chait at 8:41pm November 17
Well said David and Stephen. Vic, I know we never agree on politics, but I have to say that this is clearly about more than politics. And while Elton John may be fine with a civil union, it's clear that many people, including myself, who can marry whichever man I please one day, thinks that everyone should have an equal shot at marriage. I've seen so many marriages go down in flames with infidelity, control, anger, and aggression that I can't justify we have anything to 'save' by making marriage exclusive to heterosexuals. There are fantastic marriages too, for sure...but if anything, I want more people to be able to have those fantastic marriages...even if they marry the same gender.

Stephen F. Johnson at 8:43pm November 17
Now, I know i was a little harsh in unleashing a broadside like that, but frankly it seems to me to be warranted, because right now all of the people out there fucking up this world are those who are intolerant of the views of others, and would rather silence/oppress/dominate them than just let them live thier lives in peace as long as they are not harming others. I dont really care to ask Sarah about you, because frankly you are fitting every blind "guns and Jesus" stereotype I can think of. if you ask her about me, you will find that I am very VERY far from a liberal. I am actually a lifelong conservative who is sick to death of the current political environment.I like guns too, even assault rifles, although the concept of someone bragging that they get to shoot people appauls me to a very deep level. It is unfortunate that that kind of action is ever necessary, but the world is not a safe or fair place. But to revel in it? i suspect in time you will reconsider those words.

Stephen F. Johnson at 8:56pm November 17
I am with David and Sarah here. Let people live thier lives and pursue thier happiness. The only institution threathened here is probably the Catholic Church. Marriage has existed since before the invention of the concept of government, law, or religion, and has survived far far worse than two people comitting thier lives to eachother in union before God Country and Family. The only people arguing that this will "destroy the institution" are those who seek to try and control and manipulate people through fear. These are the same people causing and or exascerbating the worst of the world's issues right now, as if they must use fear, then they are probably on the wrong side of truth and morality. You can choose to participate in that, or to make your own decisions and do what your own concience tells you, not what those in power (political or religious) would have you believe.

Stephen F. Johnson at 8:58pm November 17
Oh, and about the jeep thing, read this: http://www.energybulletin.net/primer.phpand then knock yourself out at the pump about a year from now. In the meantime, I will be busy helping people be able to get thier food from the field to the dinner table without having to shoot people to protect the fuels required to do it.

VM Becerra at 9:43pm November 17
Sorry Steve, I am a Atheist. I only believe in the Constitution. Also, Steve, I help people by teaching them to protect themselves. google army sf one day. I use to be a liberal, then I grew up. Try it one day. BTW Senator McCarthy was not to far off on communism in the US. Know your history read in to it more than just your Wacky Pedia. And i hope never to meet you, I might laugh because you fit my stereotype of the weak, self-hating liberal.

Jonathan Albright at 10:19pm November 17
"Dear Mr. Olbermann," the letter read, "the co-op board reviewed your letter in response to its no pets policy, in order to accommodate your cat, Miss Precious Perfect, regretfully conclude that such an exception is not possible at this time." Regards, Richard Leiberstein, co-op President.And there it was, all perfectly legal, like the 1942 internment of more than 100,000 Japanese Americans, or the forced relocation of the Cherokee on the Trail of Tears. Or the monstrous injustice of the Jim Crow laws. It was all perfectly legal and EVERY BIT AS WRONG, if not indeed more so.Mr Leiberstein, sir, you speak so eloquently of the rights of others. How dare you sir, how dare you. Where, sir in any of this were the rights of Miss Precious Perfect? See they not that horror to which the Leiberstiens have so willingly blinded themselves? This, sir, is a genocide...a feline genocide.

Sarah Chait at 10:25pm November 17
Thanks for lightening the mood Jonathan. Remember watching that a couple weeks ago and just cracking up!? This is why you are one of my favorite people. Ben Affleck did the best impression ever!

Gwyn Johnson at 6:04am November 18
Stephen is NOT self hating...or a liberal. The only hate I see is coming from you there Vic! I suggest if you can't back up your political view to keep atleast the "Hate and death" words to yourself. After all you are there to "PROTECT US " am I wrong??

Elizabeth Heuberger at 6:35am November 18
Amen!

VM Becerra at 9:30am November 18
Back what up Gwyn? Lets see the facts here, first, Cal voted not once but twice on this issue! Ok, so the courts reversed the Prop the first time. Then the voters had a signed referendum to bring it back to a vote in Nov. Then the voters said, hey lets pass it again, they did. 2x. What don't you people get? I voted for the other guy, but with BHO as pres, I will respect him because he is my new C in C, and the people voted on this. Now, everyone else should respect Cal's vote. Sorry gay folks, no marriage for you today, but I do agree with giving them a civil union. But hey we live in a democracy, so try again in 2 years.

Gwyn Johnson at 10:40am November 18
Well I don't think it's the end of it, looks like the BHO is likely to take it to the supreme court. My "backing it up" comment was referring to your shit flicking without any basis for your beliefs. I understand you are in the military and can't get into details its just nice to hear words that are constructive and not "DIE COMMIE" and calling my husband weak and self-hating. THat get's you no-where if you are looking for a political discussion I would say be constructive and argue your point- and lay of the "DIE COMMIE DIE" rhetoric :o)

David Aguayo at 1:01pm November 18
If we get to vote on who gets to get married and who does not, I say let people who espouse hatred have their rights withdrawn. I really do not want them taking part in the sanctity of my marriage. Oh and cat lovers. I hate them....soooo much ;-)

VM Becerra at 3:10pm November 18
No, look Gwyn Communism is the belief that Government knows what is right for its citizens and their vote does not matter. That is a Commie. Get it? Also, if BHO goes after this matter and supports it going to the supreme court for a reversal, then he loses his Black Community base. Remember, that in California, it was the Christian Blacks who voted for this in a big way.

Gwyn Johnson at 10:49pm November 18
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communism Sorry, that is no where close to the difinition of a communist. Granted in a communist government most don't have the right to vote. People are not "Commies" for having strong beliefs contrary to what was voted into law by the people?? If that were true you would be a "Commie for hating Obama"Oh....nice try on the black community base... that's not the only people that voted for that law and who really cares about that.... Obama is the first black US president I don't think he has to worry about an uprisal of black people hating him even if he did get this thrown out on the basis of Constitutional rights which it clearly contradicts. ""We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness." -this one sound familiar

Keith Olbermann is Awesome...

2008-11-16T19:56:00.000-08:00

It's been two weeks since election night, and Prop 8 passing in California is still bothering me. I spent all of that evening flipping back and forth between election result websites for California and Oregon, thankful that most of the ballot measures in Oregon went my way, but irritated to no end that Prop 8 in California just kept collecting Yes votes. I know I devoted the majority of my last post to this...but I just don't get why anyone cares who can and can't marry. Who are we 'protecting' by denying anyone the right to marry? I don't need to really write anything more about it, but I hadn't seen this clip yet, and Keith Olbermann captures perfectly how the human race should think about this subject. Pay attention to it...if you don't support same sex marriage now, maybe one day you will change your mind...

Stabbing At the Air

2008-11-05T22:45:00.000-08:00

None of this may come out as it should, but I am stabbing at the air tonight and fine with whatever direction it goes. I will start by saying that the only real problems I have in my life right now are sore calves and not being able to wave a magic wand to take away grief for some of my friends who suffered a profound loss this past weekend...so clearly sore calves are nothing to bitch about. I am just worried about humanity a little bit at the moment.

A woman I know left this comment on a mutual friend's Facebook page today: THANK YOU for serving our country!! We are proud of you and all the others, even if the president isn't.

Maybe I am just in a bad mood, but this pissed me off, so I left him a comment that says: F that!!! The newly elected president is too proud of you! Maybe his views will be different than McCain's, but I still believe he will be coming into this with good intentions and is proud of you all. AND I QUOTE..."Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us." McCain and Obama are both noble men. McCain bowed out with class and dignity. His followers will hopefully do the same.

So, hopefully I don't get my ass kicked for mentioning this, but the same woman voted Yes on 8 in California. Welllll, I'm questioning why people continue to be comfortable hating others as discriminatory ballot measures in Florida, Arizona, and California were passed. In the news article discussing this, Ron Prentice said, "This is a great day for marriage. The people of California stood up for traditional marriage and reclaimed this great institution." My God, yes, marriage is a GREAT INSTITUTION. But imagine if someone said, "Oh sorry, you can't marry your boyfriend because he is Hispanic and you are Peruvian," or "You are poor and he is rich. A marriage between you will never be legalized." Instead of banning marriages between two people of the same sex who truly love one another, I'd love to see us throw the book at every union between a man and woman that is riddled with infidelity or abuse. Or every marriage of the people who decided that their marriage is superior to the union of the ones they voted to ban yesterday. And, while I feel fine acknowledging a difference of opinion in some matters, deciding on someone else's civil liberties just does not seem right to me. PS...in 1992, I had a bright pink button that said "Fuck the OCA." I wore it to school all of fall until my freshman science teacher ordered me to take it off and said, "Maybe you need to learn to express yourself in a less aggressive manner." To this, I replied, "But Mr. Nunn, this is what I think!!!" I bizarrely had a lot of respect for the guy, and can ultimately see where he was coming from (ie...hate of any kind tends to only breed more hate), but still.

So, I hate to say this, because I have mentioned it before, but I was so excited watching Obama give his acceptance speech last night in front of a tearful crowd, but at the same time, I was terrified for his life. A PostSecret came in a couple months ago with clipped out pictures of Martin Luther King Junior, Malcolm X, Robert Kennedy, and Obama that reads: It's only a matter of time. I hope like hell this postcard's idea never comes true.

Alright, I can't end on a negative note, so let me tell you this story. Last Friday, we had a huge trick or treat festival at our work for all of our foster children. About 300 kids made their way through the building, gathering candy, pizza, and prizes. We all had candy outside our cubes, except one coworker...he had stuffed animals...tons of them. I walked to his cube and praised him for passing out stuffed animals to our kids, and asked how he managed to collect so many to give away. "Oh, these are my daughter's and we thought it was time to give them to new children who can enjoy them." This daughter passed away from cancer years ago, and as a child would come up to pick one, my coworker would say, "Oh, that is a great choice" and say the name of the toy as it was tucked away into the child's trick or treat bag.

I couldn't help but cry, and cry, and then cry some more. It was a great sign of the humanity I neglected to mention in the first three quarters of this post...and the reason that, even though life gets irritating at times, we all go marching on, even if it is on sore calves that don't deserve to be bitched about.

Perfect...

2008-11-05T18:55:00.000-08:00

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It’s the answer told by lines that stretched around schools and churches in numbers this nation has never seen; by people who waited three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their voice could be that difference.

It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled – Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.

It’s the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arc of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better day.

It’s been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America.

I just received a very gracious call from Senator McCain. He fought long and hard in this campaign, and he’s fought even longer and harder for the country he loves. He has endured sacrifices for America that most of us cannot begin to imagine, and we are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless leader. I congratulate him and Governor Palin for all they have achieved, and I look forward to working with them to renew this nation’s promise in the months ahead.

I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Scranton and rode with on that train home to Delaware, the Vice President-elect of the United States, Joe Biden.

I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last sixteen years, the rock of our family and the love of my life, our nation’s next First Lady, Michelle Obama. Sasha and Malia, I love you both so much, and you have earned the new puppy that’s coming with us to the White House. And while she’s no longer with us, I know my grandmother is watching, along with the family that made me who I am. I miss them tonight, and know that my debt to them is beyond measure.

To my campaign manager David Plouffe, my chief strategist David Axelrod, and the best campaign team ever assembled in the history of politics – you made this happen, and I am forever grateful for what you’ve sacrificed to get it done.

But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to – it belongs to you.

I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn’t start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington – it began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston.

It was built by working men and women who dug into what little savings they had to give five dollars and ten dollars and twenty dollars to this cause. It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation’s apathy; who left their homes and their families for jobs that offered little pay and less sleep; from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cold and scorching heat to knock on the doors of perfect strangers; from the millions of Americans who volunteered, and organized, and proved that more than two centuries later, a government of the people, by the people and for the people has not perished from this Earth. This is your victory.

I know you didn’t do this just to win an election and I know you didn’t do it for me. You did it because you understand the enormity of the task that lies ahead. For even as we celebrate tonight, we know the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest of our lifetime – two wars, a planet in peril, the worst financial crisis in a century. Even as we stand here tonight, we know there are brave Americans waking up in the deserts of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan to risk their lives for us. There are mothers and fathers who will lie awake after their children fall asleep and wonder how they’ll make the mortgage, or pay their doctor’s bills, or save enough for college. There is new energy to harness and new jobs to be created; new schools to build and threats to meet and alliances to repair.

The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America – I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you – we as a people will get there.

There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won’t agree with every decision or policy I make as President, and we know that government can’t solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way it’s been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years – block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.

What began twenty-one months ago in the depths of winter must not end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek – it is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It cannot happen without you.

So let us summon a new spirit of patriotism; of service and responsibility where each of us resolves to pitch in and work harder and look after not only ourselves, but each other. Let us remember that if this financial crisis taught us anything, it’s that we cannot have a thriving Wall Street while Main Street suffers – in this country, we rise or fall as one nation; as one people.

Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House – a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, “We are not enemies, but friends…though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection.” And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn – I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.

And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of our world – our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand. To those who would tear this world down – we will defeat you. To those who seek peace and security – we support you. And to all those who have wondered if America’s beacon still burns as bright – tonight we proved once more that the true strength of our nation comes not from our the might of our arms or the scale of our wealth, but from the enduring power of our ideals: democracy, liberty, opportunity, and unyielding hope.

For that is the true genius of America – that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow.

This election had many firsts and many stories that will be told for generations. But one that’s on my mind tonight is about a woman who cast her ballot in Atlanta.

She’s a lot like the millions of others who stood in line to make their voice heard in this election except for one thing – Ann Nixon Cooper is 106 years old.

She was born just a generation past slavery; a time when there were no cars on the road or planes in the sky; when someone like her couldn’t vote for two reasons – because she was a woman and because of the color of her skin.

And tonight, I think about all that she’s seen throughout her century in America – the heartache and the hope; the struggle and the progress; the times we were told that we can’t, and the people who pressed on with that American creed: Yes we can.

At a time when women’s voices were silenced and their hopes dismissed, she lived to see them stand up and speak out and reach for the ballot. Yes we can.

When there was despair in the dust bowl and depression across the land, she saw a nation conquer fear itself with a New Deal, new jobs and a new sense of common purpose. Yes we can.

When the bombs fell on our harbor and tyranny threatened the world, she was there to witness a generation rise to greatness and a democracy was saved. Yes we can.

She was there for the buses in Montgomery, the hoses in Birmingham, a bridge in Selma, and a preacher from Atlanta who told a people that “We Shall Overcome.” Yes we can.

A man touched down on the moon, a wall came down in Berlin, a world was connected by our own science and imagination. And this year, in this election, she touched her finger to a screen, and cast her vote, because after 106 years in America, through the best of times and the darkest of hours, she knows how America can change. Yes we can.

America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves – if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time – to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth – that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people:

Yes We Can. Thank you, God bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America."

The Skinny on the Real Me

2008-10-27T20:11:00.000-07:00

I’m heading to the gym after this because work and traffic irritated me today and I need to run it off, but I figured I may as well throw down some lines, because, as mentioned, work and traffic irritated me, and I’d like to write it off too…

Weighty Suggestions: A lot of people ask me how I stay skinny. Or, rather they yell at me, “You are too damn skinny!” So, I gained a tiny bit of weight over the summer to quiet everyone up (though some are still waiting for more weight), and I did it pretty easily. So instead of giving the obvious suggestions on how to stay lean, here are the key ways to gain some weight instead:

1) Amp up the weights and resistance during workouts. My leg muscles are still lean and fit in the same jeans, but they have a lot more definition right now. So, apparently something worked.

2) Try every Hefeweizen and Sake in Portland. This summer was all about trying every kind of those (mostly in moderation, I swear). My favorites were definitely Algauer Hef at Sapphire Hotel on Hawthorne in Portland and a Sake I had at Masu last weekend. Sapphire Hotel also has great food, couches, board games, no smoke, and a quiet atmosphere. I would live there, but it doesn’t really have hotel rooms. Darn. Masu has a super cheap and amazing happy hour for food too. Too bad the summer and football season are coming to an end…I will probably be ‘too skinny’ again in a couple months.

3) Eat at restaurants all the time. So expensive and bad for you, but I’ve tried a ton of great restaurants and gotten a lot of quality time in with a ton of friends through breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Okay, so real ways to stay skinny: Don’t do numbers 2 or 3 from above (obviously), workout and be active as much as possible…challenge yourself to do new things that get you out of the house or off your feet, stop watching TV all the time, get off your computer, drink a lot of water, have water with every meal and drink more if you are still hungry…then wait and see if that fills you up before eating again, do not drink soda or alcohol…both are high in calories and pretty bad for you anyway, don’t stock your house with processed, fatty, or white flour foods…aka CAREFULLY shop the perimeter at the grocery store…this really works and you will feel a lot better too, get up and take walks at work if you have to sit all day, park far away in parking lots so you have to walk, find excuses to fidget, dance in your car, dance at work, dance in your house…yes, I like to dance, drink nonfat milk, eat food high in protein and fiber, eat random things like that for breakfast too instead of crap (you need to fill yourself up at breakfast…maybe people will make fun of you for eating organic spinach and feta pockets, edamame, or turkey wraps, but, you will feel fuller and have more energy). And lastly, be lucky and have a good metabolism like me…as my dad says…if he misses a meal he loses six pounds (okay, sorry this last one will probably only work for those related to me).

Does that help? Pretty much, being healthy requires adopting that you will live your life a certain way, that you will amp up your workout or activities if you are feeling out of shape, etc, etc. You need to realize that diets and quick fixes are temporary and that committing to changing your lifestyle is probably the only way you will achieve permanent results.

Let’s Gump this and say, “That’s all I have to say about that,” and I realize it’s not always easy. But start by making little changes and then you will just see and crave living and eating healthy as a way of life.

The Perfect Date: I had the most perfect date on Friday night. There was smiling and laughter the whole time. Okay, so who cares if it was with my two and a half month old niece Taylor? My God, not since Cedar’s birth seven years ago had I realized how crazy in love you become with these little precious things. I got five hours of mostly alone time with her while Lexy and Ben ran their church Halloween party. And I figured out she really likes to be carried sideways, facing out, on my arm, swinging back and forth (it‘s a good workout). I’ve also determined that she is probably going to get her way with me for the rest of her life. Anyway, we had fun and I highly recommend getting a date in with this one if you are in any way related to her (as some of my readers are).

Happy Anniversary: To my stuff. Yep, a year ago this week, all my belongings except what I could fit in my car came back to Portland. As all know, I arrived two months later, though maybe I truly only arrived as all of me late this summer. So, while I always thank everyone else for being there for me in 2008 and helping me to figure myself out again, I will thank myself and say…thanks for finally arriving, Real Me. I missed me, ha.

Alright, song of the moment is Romeo and Juliet by Dire Straits. It’s kind of a magical little tune that makes me think that may I actually want a boyfriend again one day soon, and I like it better than the new Killers remake.

Guest Post From My Smart Little Brother

2008-10-20T22:48:00.000-07:00

I didn't write this, but was pretty proud of my smart, and clearly wise, 21 year old brother who did write it, so I am reposting it with his permission. He also included this video at the top, but I am not techie enough to figure out how to embed it, so here is the link instead: (Late addition...people in the sun left me some lessons on how to embed, so now the video is present!)

Anyway, read Scott's opinion on the upcoming election and remember that you have the chance to make a truly informed decision come election day. In the meantime, his mom (my stepmom) is out canvassing neighborhoods for Obama and I am pretty sure we are all voting for Obama. So, pretty much, my whole family rocks. Here you go...

Being Politically Minded...

For those of you that are able to vote on November 4th, stand for something more then a single point and take the whole picture and what the candidates stand for into account.

I'm sorry but if you are basing who you are voting on in this election on one single point (lets say abortion for instance, as I know many ignorant republicans are...), you need to do your research and not assume first of all that all democrats are pro abortion. Obamas stance is to promote contraceptives and have them be avaliable to all that need them. He is against late term abortion and partial birth.

Now lets take into account that when Bush came into office, Clinton had left us with a surplus (and despite the fact that the only thing you can remember about him is that he cheated with an intern, so did JFK and many other presidents, he did great things for America). Our deficit has gone from 6 trillion to 10 trillion in the past eight years under Bush's regime. (Fact)

So now it comes down to the real boiling point, and one of the main hot topics today, our economy. For those of you that would like to elect a president who completely opposes abortion, but will only send our economy into a further down spiraling twist with tax cuts (that benefit the rich 10 fold then the middle and working class, which consists of 90% of America by the way) and ridiculous international spending then sure, go ahead and elect Mccain. Now for what I would hope is the more intelligient of the people reading this, consider voting for someone who really does stand a chance at pulling America out of the slump that we are in now. (Check republican/democrat economic track records)

PLEASE DO NOT VOTE FOR SELFISH REASONS.

If Mccain is elected then abortion will be safe this is true, but as more and more mortgages fail and poverty rates increase, people can no longer pay to go to school, or to support their children and families, but HEY IT'S OK AS LONG AS ABORTION DOESN'T EVER HAPPEN.

God help our country, because obviously for how close Bush has claimed he is to him has helped us a whole lot. US being oil tycoons and millionaires.

Any millionaires or oil tycoons reading this?

Instant Reactions of the Week

2008-10-16T22:53:00.000-07:00

Because going to bed before midnite appears something I am not capable of at this time in my life, here is some useful, useless, and Sarah'ish information, whatever that means...

1) Watching debates on Wednesday proved easily to me that I didn't need to watch them to make my decision. And Bama is Obama, not Alabama. And yes, I am voting for him. I will not give my opinion on who you should vote for, but it starts with an O, ends with an A, and has a 'BAM!' in the middle. I just wanted to write BAM! Whoo, I feel better.

2) If you have to list 'it's complicated' as your relationship status, it's not a relationship or you are too stupid to figure that out at the moment. Don't worry, while I've never actually put that up, I sure as hell have been there, so don't feel bad. I prefer listing nothing, because no one really cares, and if they do, they'll ask. That's when you tell them you are a badass who is eventually looking for a real relationship that's not 'complicated.' Or you tell them that you are a crazed fan of solidarity and 'uncomplicatedness.' Either way, it's a winner.

3) On Sunday morning I went to the Hotcake House again. I can see an obsession with this place brewing. Thanks to my buddy Bruce for showing me the way to breakfast Heaven.

4) Try taking five kids to prison in a minivan all the while blasting 107.5 (Top 40 crap rap) and see if you still want kids afterward. Bizarrely enough, I think it's cute when my little 7 year old terrors are singing along to this crap. How the hell do they know all the words?!

5) My very wonderful friend Brian Nelson comes storming through town for ten days starting this weekend. I can't wait for him and his steel jaw to arrive.

6) The Office is awesome this year, and if you disagree, "You are a thief of joy." And if that makes no sense, you just aren't paying enough attention this season.

7) Halftime at Beaver games is best riding through Corvallis on, or thrown over, the shoulders of a friend who can shotput people. Thanks Tom.

8) I had the 'pleasure' of taking the most boring and ignorant person in the world back to Portland after the Beavers game on Saturday. He goes to my gym too, and he is so boring, I didn't even recognize him when he passed me at the gym. He sat in the MU at OSU watching football for three hours before the game on Saturday. Who the hell does that when they are in their college town on gameday?!

9) My roommate's girlfriend made a sign, dressed up in a gawdy wig, bright pink boots, makeup, and a green dress, and yelled, "Welcome home Will" over and over as he arrived down the escalator at the airport from a business trip on Monday. They compete to see who can embarrass the other the most. I think that is so damn adorable.

10) Howie Day is a badass in disguise of a top 40 ballad singer. I've used the word badass twice in this post...and damn, that makes it three. Anyway, go listen to Morning After by him.

11) We'll end on my favorite number...goodnite.

"Once You're Connected"

2008-10-06T21:28:00.000-07:00

I love the smell of field burning mixed with the cold air and rain. I need to get used to wearing my raincoat everywhere and socks again, but so far, the fall weather hasn’t bothered me at all. I love Oregon because you can be dressed to the nines and still have your Marmot or Columbia rain jacket on right over the top. Okay, maybe I just need more fashion sense, but…I like to stay dry.

That is a precursor to the “I’m wearing my happy hat again” post to follow. Gear up, because it’s really about the moments with the people I adore. I’m not intending to turn on the cheese ’o’ meter here either, though some will read it that way. As I may overstate at times, I just feel pretty fortunate to have what, and who, I have in my life, and they don’t always get recognized…

So, Friday night was one of those perfect nights with three of my best friends. Two of them have been married to each other since 2001 and the other I can do anything with, anytime, anywhere, and always have some bizarrely perfect time. Anyway, we’ve been having ‘foursome’ adventures for almost ten years now, and they never get old. We’ve never run out of things to talk about and all we do is laugh, the entire time, at everything, sparing no embarrassing stories or stupid moments. Everyone needs a crew like this, so if you don’t have one, find one.

I guess I am lucky, because I have a few of these. Three of my girlfriends and I are still on our roll of getting together once every week for lunch. We’ve missed a couple, but it’s funny because I can be stressed and having the shittiest day…but then our lunch rolls around and they just calm me down. Maybe it’s because I’ve known them so long. I don’t know. I also have another newer group of girls that I do brunch with once a month. I love that just as much.

Then there’s another friend who I met back in April. We’ve had some lengthy conversations about everything from our disasters in relationships to our hatred for ignorant politics…it’s always engaging and I seem to always walk away from him enlightened. A couple Sundays ago, we hit the Willamette on kayaks for three hours of rowing and chatter, and I once again realized that good friends can come into your life at any moment. He’s never been afraid to tell me to look at things in a different light or that I’m over thinking things, and I appreciate that about him.

I also got to catch up last week with a friend I admire to no end. She takes on everything and has literally blossomed into an amazing wife, mother, and activist in the three short years I have known her. Ahh, and she wrote this about me last October and it makes me laugh…

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, oh how I miss my Sarah. On my first day of work at Catholic Community Services I found out a second person was hired to do the same job as I was. This woman was tall and beautiful and smart and asked all these great questions during our morning orientation type meeting and I went home and told my husband about the new chick that I did not like. Have I ever mentioned that my first impressions are usually wrong? By the end of our first week I had fallen in love with Sarah. She is smart and funny and loyal and kind. She stayed on a CCS for a while after I left but then moved to Ohio. This summer Sarah joined us on our family vacation on the east coast and it was a very cool time with her. It is rumored that she is coming back and though my heart breaks for Sarah as this may mark the end of a very important relationship in her life, I simply can't wait!

I love this because I remember how news of me planning my move back to Oregon last October spread like wildfire through my old CCS coworkers...all of them were on the phone with me within 15 minutes of the first one finding out...asking me what I needed and if I was okay. I’ve somehow remained close to all of them. I have new coworkers too who just put a smile on my face any time I hang out with them. Maybe it’s the line of work we all do…we’re always solving everyone else’s problems, so our hearts are pretty in tune and open.

So, I know that I, like all people, have some superficial friendships. It’s not to even say that those are bad necessarily. Occasionally, amazing connections start superficially as you’re fumbling over the odds and ends of two, or several, different lives merging into commonalities. I truly love meeting new people and finding reasons to join up with someone I hardly know…whether it be to motivate me to exercise or to get me out of a hole. Not all these friendships will go on to include all the nuts and bolts obviously, and some will simply fade out, but I have to recognize this quote from someone I‘ve never met…

“Once you’re connected with someone, time and space become irrelevant.”

It reminds me that everyone who is truly meant to be in our lives may not always be there for us as we all finish school, start new jobs, get married, have kids, get caught up in good and not so good relationships, move away, and occasionally, move back. But, if we hold on to the ones we adore, get to know the ones we think we may grow to enjoy, and leave the ones who burn us out behind, our connections will be pretty damn good…and time and space won’t ever matter.

That’s my two cents. Song of the moment is #41 by Dave Matthews Band. I’m still a little bummed at the loss of LeRoi Moore in August…he had such a signature sound.

On Men...

2008-09-30T00:23:00.000-07:00

Enjoy this post, because it will be the ONLY post on relationships for many months to come. I've been on such a roll avoiding the topic, but figured it's worth it to just lay it out for now. So, here you go...

On men...which I rarely mention, but here you go...I have a lot of female friends, but many of my best friends are male too. I may have even dated them at some point in my life. Never make me 'break up' with any of them if you want to date me, and we're good. I'm at a wimpout stage in my life too and pretty content just getting to know men as friends first, so if you have any interest in me whatsoever, you'll probably have to make it loud and clear. Such a copout, but I just don't feel any rush to stress about it right now.

So, I just left this description on my Facebook. Not that anyone other than friends can see it because it's set to private, but I am wondering if I will erase it eventually. For now, it makes me laugh.

I really don't write about relationships anymore. Justin gets mentioned from time to time in a 'let that be a lesson to me to never do that again' way, but maybe that's not even fair to him to dig up 'our' old dirt anymore. Truth be told, the relationship had it's good times between all the shit...okay, but there was a lot of shit and it really wasn't healthy to be in it, at all. I just wasn't much of a Barbie doll, and if you know me, it'll just never be. Sure, I get called 'beautiful' at times, but I know that despite being a size 2-4, I'm taller than the average girl, louder than many, and extremely unafraid to voice my opinion...it's all stuff I don't want to change though, ever.

I'm also a low to high maintenance girl...I love to get dirty and throw myself into projects and activities, but I also love my hair straightener, dresses and makeup collection. It's a tough sell sometimes. As one of my best friends said one night when we were having another 'should we ever date' moment..."Sarah, you need a construction worker, someone who is big." I replied that I value brains more than braun. Though, I can't lie...I like the stockier, arms wrapped around you guys...as I used to say...the ones who can pick me up and spin me around with no problem.

Oh, and on this best friend, the conclusion for he and I was decidedly no. If you know 'us,' we make amazing friends to the point of confusing and annoying people as to what the hell we 'get' and no one else does...it's good to know we have what we have and that no one can mess with that...come hell or high water, no one has ever been able to bust us up...maybe because we share the same brain at times. I love it. I love him. Just not in that way, so stand down.

Okay, back to it...I think some of what I wrote above in italics is probably a result of some bullshit thinking. The past couple of years threw me some curveballs I wasn't expecting when it came to relationships and I'm sure I've felt a bit disenchanted and apathetic at times. Hey, people warned me to not tread in the water I decided to wade through, but it's easy to get caught up in a love story...we all have the blinders on at times.

Regardless, while I know that two months ago, I was stressing about present and past relationships all the time, I absolutely see that I am at a point where I'm just not now. No, I haven't shut the book on love...I have crushes and flitters for a certain guy right now and I still wonder about potential with others who are friends or in my past. It's just that, I'm not in any desperate situation where I need to figure it out. As was recently passed back and forth between myself and someone I grew entirely impatient with (maybe I shouldn't have, but that story won't get out, sorry)..."if it's right, we have all the time in the world to figure it out." Maybe the statement stopped adding up for he and I at the time, but it is good for where I am today, with anyone really.

So, where else did it come from? This past summer, I just finally realized that I spent a shitload of the past year focusing on my relationships with everyone...and by that, I mean EVERYONE...men, family, friends. It was finally clear to me that I needed to focus on myself for a while. I have a few to thank for this, but I'll thank them to their faces instead of right here if you don't mind.

So, friends and family...I promise I will get married one day and have some cute little kids to run around and play with all your cute kids...one day, I swear.

Songs...Only You by Joshua Radin and Unsaid by The Fray. Night.

The Realtor Made My Bed Yesterday...

2008-09-23T19:43:00.001-07:00

I usually don't post twice in one week, or more than once every two or three weeks for that matter...but, I am waiting twenty more minutes to go and trample some bleachers down at the school and felt like writing.

My roomie is selling our house. This does not excite me at all because I love my house and my roomies, but, it must be done. The upside to this is that if I forget to make my bed, the realtor comes in and makes it for me...and I really like how she arranges my pillows. The downside is that in the meantime (which could apparently be six to nine months because of the terrible housing market) our house kind of reminds me of the demo they lived in on Arrested Development...everything is perfectly in place, we have roses on our counter, those blue shoe covers at our door, a canister of tootsie rolls, and a schedule for open houses on the weekend that includes 'baking cookies'...hmm, maybe That Guy and Other That Guy will come over and help. We also have to 'hide out' on occasion if people come to look at the house. That said, I'll probably start looking for a new place to live sometime in early 2009...in the Portland area.

I decided to quit caffeine this week, and failed today. And no, it is NOT because I have a lot of Mormon family members (they almost all drink caffeine in my family and my extended family by the way). The reason I quit is that I only drink diet soda and have heard that stuff is horrible for you, so I figured that I'd just quit and dump caffeine too. Well, my friend Robin, who has analyzed me in her therapist ways the majority of our eighteen year friendship and is convinced I have ADD, has said before that caffeine actually helps me to focus. After four days without it and one huge Venti Green Tea Latte today, I figured out she is right...I feel a lot more on track again. So, I'm back in caffeine land, plus the green tea, minus the diet soda chemicals.

On that note, I apologize to anyone who spent any amount of time with me since Friday afternoon...I probably talked a million sentences a minute, fidgeted like mad, and ignored everything you said to me.

So, lastly, I will just mention that I missed my 'dad' this week. Well, I missed both my dads, but by this dad, I mean Robin's dad Steve. It seems to be a recurring thing for me still, but it was his birthday last week, OSU football season is in full swing, and we've been playing Tom Petty at work a lot. I know I mention it a lot, but I am not sure where I would have ended up without him.

Okay, so real dad, as I mentioned, I miss you too and I promise to come to dinner next Sunday (yes, my dad is a devoted reader of my blog). I love you a ton and am still so glad that we get all this time together. I can't imagine what life would be like without you and the crew now.

That's all for now. Songs to listen to: Blazing Arrow by Blackalicious, Live Your Life by TI and Rihanna...yes, TI and Rihanna...stop makng fun of me.

Princess 'Hater' Sarah's Thoughts

2008-09-18T22:15:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted much randomness lately, but I am taking a 'sanity day' off from work tomorrow and have a little time on my hands. So, here are some of my most recent thoughts, in no particular order...

Sarah Palin: My name (that'd be Sarah...come on, stick with me) meant 'princess' until this chick came along and ruined it. You know, I wouldn't have a problem with her if she wasn't such a hater. Yes, I used the word 'hater' to describe Sarah Palin...she just DIGS for dirt and slams...so not princess like. And, I hate her mouth, and her guns. Please change your name Mrs. Governor Who Thinks She Is Sooooo Above Community Organizers. Moving on....

The Soup: I watch about an hour of TV per week (unless it's Saturday in the fall, like now...I will watch HOURS of college football games, who cares which team...not sure where this obsession came from, but I love college football and have for years). Alright, back to my point...I don't need to watch more than an hour because The Soup captures all of what's on and makes fun of it. They've recently added Spaghetti Cat and I actually laugh out loud, alone, on my couch when they show him.

Ohhh Esss Yooo: Nothing beats watching college football on TV like actually being at the game. And, I finally made my way down to see my Beavers play on Saturday. When your tailgater cook brings a deep fryer, BBQ, and caters to your every food desire, you know you're in for a good day. And when your team wins and you are surrounded by a bunch of people you adore, it's golden. Needless to say, we had a blast.

The Doug Fir: If you ever get a chance to see a show here, go. Last night, I had the opportunity to see Federico Aubele there, and a few weeks back saw Rogue Wave. The acoustics are fantastic and you're no more than twenty feet from the stage because it's tiny (and non-smoking, thanks).

That Guy: In August, I put up an entire post on That Guy. Well, my buddy Ryan read it and then decided he just couldn't be friends with such an idiot and quit returning TG's phone calls and won't hang out with him. Ha, I love it. So, I never have to see TG again. Sadly, that will mean no more stories about him, but I can live with that.

People in the Sun: Another plug for someone far away who I have never met, but started reading a long time ago. This is a genius writer! He perfectly captured my feelings about the Republican Convention is this amazing piece. If you want to look at how we should remember parts of the past, read this one on 9/11. And if you want to know what a marriage should look like, read this one about his wife of eleven years. I'm telling ya, if he writes a book, I will be first in line to buy it. Sorry People in the Sun, I have to keep dropping the hints to write a book.

Work: Has suddenly turned into a weekly inferno of kids blowing out and running away (hence the 'sanity day' off tomorrow). And, since their info is incredibly confidential, that's about all I can say...other than...quit bitching about your own life until you've walked AN INCH in the shoes of my kids...their resilience amazes me everyday. Pray for them if you like, think about them...do whatever you think is appropriate. Just don't judge them or assume that they can't change the cycles of their past and what's been dealt to them. They can. We can. I did. Many of them will too. I truly like this job, and I am glad I landed in it, even if I get exhausted from time to time. It's what I am meant to do.

Songs to Listen To: Mona Lisa by Guster, Pass Me Over by Anthony Hamilton, Never Gonna Come Back Down by BT and M Doughty, and anything on Matt Nathanson's or Amos Lee's new CDs. Matt Nathanson will probably bore most of you to death, but I like it. Big Head Todd is kind of captivating me lately too. Oh, if anyone knows of this song that sounds like Kanye West and Mat Kearney singing together, get back to me and tell me who it is and what it is called. I want it.

Alright, that's enough ADD for now, thanks for reading.

The 'Wordy' One Speaks

2008-08-25T22:19:00.000-07:00

This is the kind of post that may have pissed off my ex-boyfriend. So, don’t read it if you don’t want to delve into my life right now. He always wanted me to erase the majority of this blog, filter what I wrote. Then again, he also tried to make me get rid of my dog Bailey AND my best friend of the opposite sex, so obviously, something wasn’t right there.

This past year has been interesting for me. I think it’s been somewhat of an ‘unfiltered’ year for me. I didn’t have much of a voice before I headed back out here from Ohio, so when I finally figured out that it was mine again, that I didn’t have to walk on eggshells or see a counselor more than twice to figure out that “what was wrong with you was purely situational” (her words), my voice kind of went buck wild…

There‘s a John Mayer song that says, “It‘s better to say too much, then never to say what you need to say again.” So, that’s what I’ve done this year. I’ve gone out on limbs left and right. I’ve pissed people off, including blood relatives, enlightened others. I’ve apologized to some, been stubborn too. Maybe that’s not always a good thing, but I’ve gained a lot from it. Probably lost a little as well, but it’s a learning curve I think, and I’m sure I will stop unloading every opinion and feeling I have about ’everything’ on people sometime soon. But I have to admit, it’s been nice being able to do it, have my opinion be heard, even if I have had to kick myself after the fact at times.

And maybe right here is where I will quit writing, put the filter back on, and shut up instead of getting deeper into it.

Let me add that if you are any of the people who have been here for me this year, just know that I’ve greatly appreciated you. The calls and advice before and after coming back from Ohio, the new friendships that have unfolded and the old ones that have gotten stronger, the relationships I’ve already learned from (good and not so good), the family that is always there on Sundays, and even the comments on Facebook and MySpace. I’ve been told by many that they love me no matter what, and I’ve honestly felt that this year.

Wait, from my soapbox, I’ll say…be grateful for all the good that people in your life do for you…we spend so much time focused on ourselves that it’s hard to remember sometimes that you’re the product of more than your own will…

I for one am still getting raised by my village, absolutely.

Don't Ever Be 'That Guy'

2008-08-12T18:04:00.001-07:00

So, Saturday evening started off like any other summer weekend night in Portland...with plans for a busy funfilled night. My buddy Ryan and I had been planning to meet up sometime over the weekend, so I called him up to see if he wanted to come along to some get togethers I was invited to. "Sure, but can 'That Guy' come?" I agreed because Ryan's pretty cool, and he said I had met 'That Guy' before, and would recognize him when I saw him again.

So, let's preface...'That Guy' is what I will refer to 'That Guy' as the entire post, because though he has a name, he was truly only earning of the name 'That Guy' for the antics we ended up having to put up with on Saturday. Hmm, maybe 'TG' would be even easier. And keep in mind, Sarah is the sober designated driver to get togethers that both happen to be in Gresham, which is quite far from downtown, so I am stuck with whatever happens, all night.

I pick up my friend Jon and then head downtown to get Ryan and TG. I drop Jon off at Whole Foods because he hasn't eaten all day and I think he may kill someone soon, and then I go to pick up Ryan and TG. When they walk out, I do recognize TG and think, okay, I know him, he's decent...stares a little too long at people, but decent.

TG tries to get in the front seat and I tell him it's reserved for Jon who is a lot taller than him. No problem, climbs in back...and then I notice...the open beer can! "Oh hell no," I say, "What are you doing? Get that out of my car!" TG actually argues until I say, "Then get out," and then opens the door and sets the beer can on the ground right outside my back passenger door. "No, get out and throw that out, don't leave it in the street!" TG complies. I forgive this antic because I think they've been out for a while already, and, it's just one stupid thing right? Oh, wait.

Remarkably, the first get together goes fine. TG wanders off, eats some food, plays some beer pong with the drinkers, watches part of the UFC fight, is quiet. When it's time to move onto the next one, he grabs his coat and quietly gets in the car. None of my old college friends wanted to kill him. Good deal.

Then in the car, he starts up. He climbs in the front seat because Jon stays at the first get together. Only inches away now, TG starts talking, a lot. Questions include, "What do you like to do," and then,"So, are you single?" after he finds out what I like to do. "Dude, hello, not interested," I reply.

On to party two. We get out of the car and TG jumps on Ryan's back, shouting and demanding a piggy back ride. Are you kidding me? Then, he gets off Ryan's back and says "Now you!" to Ryan, who jumps on his back. What the hell is this?! We make it into the housewarming party and TG manages to spill red wine on the carpet within ten minutes of arrival, even after I told him, "Dude, quit swaying your cup of RED WINE back and forth...you're gonna spill it." The host of the party luckily has some amazing carpet cleaner and the red wine is out in minutes.

Ryan's had a bad cold all day and quietly moves about from a spot in the garage to chill out and watch the band, to a chair by the fire, to the couch in the living room. Nice work Ryan. Meanwhile, here is the list of everything else that TG managed to do, in no particular order...

1) Steals mike when the lead singer is taking a break, two or three times, and sings songs
2) Falls over and hits head on the bar
3) Disappears around the corner of the garage leaning over, clearly throwing up...then completely denies it
4) Starts touching everyone, male and female...keeps walking by me and touches my side every time, so I find all my good guy friends and hang on them
5) Starts getting referred to as 'business casual guy' and 'the guy who is creeping everyone out'

And here, is my absolute favorite...

6) Bonds with some other 'That Guy' at the party. All of us outside hear loud yelling and laughter through the kitchen window. We look over and see TG and other 'That Guy' standing over the sink, high fiving, hitting one another, and mashing together raw cookie dough and peanut butter M&M's with their bare hands. They managed to find a cookie sheet, heat up the oven, and BAKE SOME COOKIES! All the while, slamming into one another like the UFC fight we'd just watched at the other party. Am I seriously watching this?

Okaaaaay, this is out of control, time to go I decide. 'That Guy' and TG are extremely sad to part and hug quite a few times until I finally say, "Dude, you can totally stay here," meanwhile thinking, 'Dude, please totally stay here so I don't have to take you with me.'

Back to the other get together to pick up Jon. On the way, TG somehow scores the front seat again and decides that I look tense. "You need a neck rub," he says as he starts rubbing my neck. "No, I'm fine," I reply. But he keeps at it, demanding that he's so great at neck rubs and I really need one, until I finally yell, "Dude, DO NOT touch me!" He stops, looks me in the eye with a frown and says, "Aww, you're ruining my game girl!" I reply, "What game? No one is interested in you!"

Wait, we're not done. We get back to the first house and head in. It's super quiet, clearly winding down, but TG hits the back porch and manages to find more alcohol. Beer bottle isn't a twisty top, so TG decides to use the edge of the Ping Pong table to open it. Ping Pong table slams up and down, TG falls six feet backward. Another, "What the hell?" is directed his way by me. Thank God my friend who owns the house didn't see it because he'd probably pick him up and fling him across his yard. We need to go, now.

I round up all three boys, but of course, TG finds a skateboard on the steep driveway and decides to ride it down, tripping over a garden hose, hitting cars along the way. "Get off that ****ing skateboard," I yell. He doesn't. I yell again. He does. I yell to put it back. He puts it behind the wheel of a car. I yell to put it back on the porch. The idiot actually listens. I haven't yelled this much in months.

Okay, we're in the car. Safe and on the way home. Then, I hear a crash. Another "What the hell?!" from me, a "What?" from TG. He'd managed to bring a beer bottle in the car and was tossing it out the window. I'm livid, and then, he does it AGAIN! I almost pull over and kick his ass out, but we are far from downtown and it's too late for public transit. I warn him he is on his deathbed and to not move or he walks. He starts trying to give Jon, who's in the front seat, a neck rub. I tell him to stop. He listens. He gets on his phone and starts shopping for another party. We pull up in front of Ryan's condo and TG offers to bring us all up to a new party of the 12th floor. No thanks, I'm ready to embrace some silence!

The next day I get two texts from Ryan..."Thanks for putting up with us last night" and..."That Guy" apologizes for being a dumbass by the way...I owe you..."

Ryan, you have no idea!

Inside, Really?

2008-08-05T19:14:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm waiting for it to get cooler outside so I can take Bailey on a walk. Figured I would write some new lines while I wait, because, as I learned a couple weeks ago, floating the river this late at night is a ridiculously freezing experience.

Taylor, so perfect: The new niece is still a load of sleeping fun (that's all she really does right now). I hosted a family event on Sunday to get pictures of everyone with her...there were over 20 people. I love the chaos that comes with being a part of a big extended family...especially because I grew up in a really small one. At one point, there were little kids running through my house SCREAMING chasing my brother in law...it sounded like thunder. Anyway, I just love it and feel grateful to be a part of it all.

Chew, then talk: Failing for a successful segue way...I'll just jump into this: I've decided my new pet peeve is people in commercials who eat and talk at the same time. Cereal companies, one of my favorite things in the world, tend to be particularly drawn to this. So, stop it already...chew your cereal, or wings from KFC, or fattening desserts AND THEN talk. I've known people in real life who do this too, so if you are one of them, feel free to take note too.

Portland summers: I forgot how great they are. Having missed one last year, I am pretty happy to be back enjoying all there is to do on the weekends and every night of the week. This city never runs out of cool events and restaurants. A couple new faves are Eastburn and, ahh, the next one is a secret, sorry.

Pay attention to actions: It was all over the news, but Randy Pausch, who wrote The Last Lecture died a couple weeks ago from pancreatic cancer. I still have Diane Sawyer's interview with him saved on my DVR from months ago. If you have time, go to the website and watch the speech or find the interview and watch it. His message is pretty simple, but I was still inspired by him.

La Musica for your ears: Notice by Gomez, Golden Age by Beck, All Alone by Gorillaz, Burn by Nine Inch Nails. Maybe it's just that it is summer, but I'm also partial to rap with big beats and inappropriate lyrics right now. So, go listen to Last Call by Big Boi, on Speakerboxx...and then just don't tell your mom or spouse I told you to. I listen to it for the beat and bass, not the lyrics, I swear. And like Michael Bolton in Office Space, I usually listen to it with my windows rolled up. All the way up.

Night.

Introducing...

2008-07-31T17:28:00.000-07:00

Meet Ms. Taylor Evelyn, my new niece, first born baby to Lexy and Ben, new object of my adoration and affection. She was born on Wednesday afternoon weighing in at a tiny ten pounds! Okay, that's not tiny. Clearly the most beautiful little bitty ever.

Me, Myself, Doing Nothing

2008-07-19T22:54:00.000-07:00

Yep, it's Saturday night and I am writing a post to my blog. I was told this week by a very wise person that I needed to do something for myself because I rarely do. So, after going to the coast yesterday to drag our feet around in the sand and exhale some stress, wise person released me and said, "Remember to do something for yourself this weekend!"

It turns out this is something that is kind of hard to do at times. This summer has been really fun, but extremely busy too, and today was no different. I mean, I had a birthday party for a cute little kid to go to today. I have a friend in town from Colorado who I haven't seen in ten plus years. I have a dog who would probably love to go for a walk. My roomies invited me to a baseball game, had a suite to sit in and everything. And today, I just didn't want to do any of it.

Instead, I slept in really late. Took a shower at 4:00. Accepted the offer for free dinner from my roomie. Watched TV for the first time in weeks. Zoned out essentially. And it has been nice. I'll admit I had a couple moments of weakness where I texted a couple friends to see what they were doing, because at times, I feel like I always have to be doing something. But the truth is, I don't. I have about 70 more years to live. There are plenty of days to do things.

Maybe tomorrow will be one of them, but today isn't over yet...so on that note, I am going back to doing nothing.

And, while I do nothing, go listen to You Are Goodbye by Holly Conlan. I am telling you, sometimes the free song of the week on iTunes is amazing. And this is one of them.

Venting Girl

2008-07-13T16:56:00.000-07:00

I had a great weekend, but I am just not in a good mood today. I can't explain it, so I guess I will write instead.

While I am ultimately in control of my life at the moment, and life is going quite great actually, there are some things in my life that are on 'wait and see' status. I'm not going into detail on it because I have nothing to complain about really. I just need to decide how I want to live my life and let it all effect me right now. One of those things is leaving Portland. Is it going to happen? I'm not sure yet.

Now, here's a complaint though: There are people showing up in my dreams who I just don't want to see anymore. I don't want to know where they are, how they are doing, or what they are up to. I just want them 'erased' essentially. Those who know me probably know the few people this refers to, but they donated a lot of negativity to my life and I really feel like the best thing for me is to not have to have them show up in my dreams of all places.

And on that note, my roomie just told me the whole house is going to float the Clackamas river, so it looks like I am going to go and get myself in a better mood by doing that!

Some of the Good Things

2008-07-08T20:22:00.000-07:00

Here's a short list of the good things going on in my life or that you should be paying attention to. It's nothing deep, and you don't have to pay attention to my life, but some of the suggestions are good ones:

Pandora: Simply the most amazing place for free music. It makes playlists based on one key song. They're always great, and you can tailor them to your liking. Try it out.

We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank by Modest Mouse: In heavy rotation during my weekly commute when I get tired of my iPod. One of my favorite songs so far...Parting of the Sensory

My Fourth of July weekend: It was good. That's all. Quality time with a myriad of people from Thursday to Sunday.

Lunch with the girls: Every Wednesday, I get together with three of my closest girlfriends for lunch. It's a chance for us to catch up and ogle the cute baby who joins us. It also reminds me that friendships are precious and having time with these girls is a great thing. I suggest you get something like this going if you haven't already.

My family: I have to admit, I still feel like I am getting to know them at times. But one thing I do know is that I belong in this crazy group of people and I love my time with them. I still wish my older brother would meet my dad. Maybe one day.

The weather: I'm sitting outside writing this at 8:30 and it's 85 degrees with a warm breeze. Can't beat that.

And, here's a song worth listening to: I'm Yours by Jason Mraz. Sure, it's taking over the airwaves right now, but there's a reason...it'll make you smile.

And, that's all for now.

Ghetto Scrabble, Cat Power, and Other Stuff

2008-06-23T21:25:00.000-07:00

I was going to write about my Friday night of playing Ghetto Scrabble with some good friends, but just couldn't figure out a way to tell the story of the game that would make it PC and appropriate. The farthest I will explain is that some of the decent words and phrases thrown down included PHYTBOEL, UAXINFOLVN, and DATZFORU. So, on that note, I will just say we laughed a lot, and...here are some updates from the life of me...

Gas prices are killing everyone. Driving 80 miles to and from work everyday has me feeling the pain. Will it effect where I live eventually? Maybe. That's all I can say at the moment.

I opened my golfing season Sunday with some free golf. Good thing it was free because I was terrible. But, I did get a double bogey on a Par 5 and a triple bogey on a Par 4. Trust me...that is GREAT for me. It'll get better.

A friend of mine just passed on a ton of good music to me. The best is this band from the UK called Cat Power. I love them. Figure out how to get some of their music and LISTEN to it.

Still awaiting 'girl baby no name' from Lexy and Ben. Some hybrid names have come up that are pretty good. My favorite is definitely Lexamin. It sorely beats my creation of Belexy. My father continues to call her something I can't even remember at the moment because it is just so terrible, though I think he is convinced that 'Ducky' is in the running.

Yeah, so that's about all I feel the need to report on at the moment. Life has been good lately. I love being around all these great people everyday who make me smile and remember why I am in Oregon.

Oh, and of course, love to GDD today. I'll mention it every year just so no one ever forgets. Love you always.

Screaming Mimi To the Rescue

2008-06-08T13:29:00.000-07:00

This is Screaming Mimi. Press play to hear her. I bought three of her at an after Halloween sale in 2006, passed two of her on to others, and kept one. She sits on my desk at work and provides stress relief for people when they have a bad interaction with a client or feel overwhelmed. Right now, I think Mimi is mostly screaming about gas prices and she's scared the sun came out today because she is just a teeeeeny bit Emo. I figure that one day, she's gonna 'die' so I figured I would capture her because she makes me laugh, all the time. It's the simple things in life people, the simple things.

Work Thoughts

2008-06-01T22:15:00.000-07:00

Work has been a little hectic lately. Like most everyone else, I have a pretty big caseload with several million things needing attention...I get to figure out where to place five sisters for a long time while their parents are in prison, how to get a parent or two to stick around and engage in services and just tell me the truth when I ask them a question, what to do with a kid who just does not seem to be able to keep it together, and how to 'get' to a girl who is almost 18 and starting to date abusive and negative men.

The work I do often reminds me not to take my own life for granted. True, I grew up in some crappy situations with my own mother, but I always had a roof over my head, my basic needs met, and an army of other adults who showed me that they would always be there for me, no matter what. I keep pictures of them around my house to remind me that I didn't get to where I am on my own...I had a lot of amazing support. The kids and families I work with often end up on our caseloads because of a cycle that they were not able to escape from because there were no outside supports. Two of my cases have been in the system generationally for quite some time. It frustrates me to no end.

In reality, I can only work with my families, get them services, and hope they change. For myself, I personally feel that I made a committment early on in my life to never let the cycle I grew up in continue on when I have kids...and once again, this is probably easier for me to do because I had amazing people help to raise me. My own children will always be safe, loved, happy, and healthy. I know that...there just shouldn't be any other way. I'm looking forward to it.

So, what is my point tonight? I guess that I just hope you keep your ears and eyes open to the children around you. Not to sound cheesy, but they are the future. And they will only grow up empowered if we give them that chance. For that matter, pay attention to parents too. Parenting can be a tough job and a lot of my clients tend to be doing it all on their own, which results in a lot of rough times.

That's all. Someone told me once, "I'm so fortunate aren't I?" When I replied, "Yes, you are fortunate," he replied, "No, I'm not fortunate...I did this all on my own." But, no one does anything all on their own. Someone fed you when you were little, taught you to ride a bike, helped you to solve your first problem, whatever that was. Failing to recognize the people in your life who make you stronger is an error. So, make sure you let your heroes know who they are, all the time.

Song of the moment...See the World by Gomez. It is a great one.

Mourning For the Beavs

2008-05-27T18:34:00.000-07:00

Everyday, my friend and coworker Megan puts up a joke of the day...except today. Thanks Megan for recognizing this very difficult time for Beavers fans everywhere. As a fellow Beaver, your sympathy is deeply appreciated. Okay, really, this just cracked me up.

Top 40, Sun, and Softball

2008-05-18T21:03:00.000-07:00

Nothing deeply philosophical or mind bending from my mouth tonight...all I want to write about right now is...my bad taste in music week. The top 40 bug invaded my body early on in the week. Maybe it's because I have been in a particularly good mood as of late, maybe it is because the sun brings out all of those needs to roll down the windows and blast music. Anyway, I actually bought No Air by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown, Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis, and Sexy Love by Ne-Yo. And now, I feel a little like I should roll the windows up when I am blasting these songs.

On a genuinely good song note...Hollow Man by REM and Come On Get Higher by Matt Nathanson made the list too.

Alright, so back to the top 40. Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself. I guess it is completely acceptable to buy this stuff every once in a while...I mean, maybe some of these songs actually become hits for a reason, right? Honestly, I really like Sexy Love. Every time I've heard it in the past two years, I stand up and start shaking my booty. It's a cute sexy song, and it reminds me of when Michael Jackson was actually talented/cute/not made of plastic. Overall, I am not anti-radio...I just think they should diversify their playlists and create a broader base of acceptable radio tunes. We are missing out on a lot of good music because few channels will adventure out and play it.

On shaking my booty, since returning from Vegas, anytime I have heard a hip hop song, I want to get up and dance. So, send me suggestions for some good hip hop, because I'm not feeling my gym right now and would much rather be dancing around my house to music at this point. And, they dug up and blocked off the track and field at the highschool by my house, so I can't even run bleachers anymore. That's a great workout...hurry and finish the project guys.

Otherwise, congrats to my sister Lauren for getting two huge awards in her softball conference and to her softball team for taking 2nd place in their final tournament over the weekend. I got a few lovely shades of red (and some cancerous tan) from it, but also had a great time watching with the people who are important in my life.

Song of the moment...Did You Ever Look So Nice by The Samples. It is a great summer song and reminds me of driving down the canyon in Park City, Utah on a sunny afternoon...with the windows down of course.

Night.

The Nuprin Diaries, Part II

2008-05-07T20:26:00.000-07:00

Back in 2005, my friend Ryan was teaching English in Korea and logging his stories on this blog he referred to as The Nuprin Diaries. As the adventure came to an end, so did the great stories...leaving me hoping that one day, he'd strike up some new tales on a keyboard. Well, Ryan's headed out on another adventure to Germany and decided to start sharing some stories with us again. So, here is the new installment of The Nuprin Diaries. I'm sure there will be some good stories to come.

That's all for now. I think that you should go listen to this new song from Portishead called Plastic...and this old song by The Roots called Without a Doubt.

People in the Sun

2008-04-27T11:01:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while, I remember to check in on the blogs I have listed as favorites on my own blog. Go read anything on People in the Sun. I've mentioned how good this one is before, but hadn't been to it in a while. Everything he writes is fabulous.

My favorites in catching up are actually videos of his baby laughing and another kid on You Tube laughing. If we could all be that happy, life would be pretty damn good all the time.

Oh, I actually really liked Vegas this time around. It was nice to get away from reality for a while and just have a blast under the hot sun. Coming back to reality last Sunday as the airline staff announced over the loudspeaker that it was 34 and snowing in Oregon wasn't so great, but I'm here...I'm doing alright...and I'm thankful for all I've got.

A Few Lines of 'Stuff'

2008-04-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

This is a useless post of 'stuff I'm doing' so if you are looking for a political or social rant tonight, well, all I can say is that we are pretty much screwed with all this inflation...and I CANNOT wait for Mr. Bush to leave the office.

Oh, and a year after the Virginia Tech shootings, did anyone notice that all that fanfare about gun laws that happened in the wake of the tragedy fell flat in about five minutes? What happened? Come on media! I still just hope that 'being green' actually stays an important issue after the celebs drop it and, oh wait, they still have huge mansions, private jets, and more excess than a Biggie Sized Value Meal? Oh, riiiight, they just like to look good in all those glossy ads and commercials touting green living. Not that I am a saint, but eeeegh.

Actually, I looked back at posts I have written and realize, sometimes, I can be too harsh. For example, this post, written back in 2005, that bashed The ONE Campaign. I guess I had a point, but maybe I should realize that a little effort can go a long way instead of slamming the cause. So, maybe I will feel bad about making fun of the 'trendy green' celebs eventually too...because they are just trying to make a difference right? But then again, it still frustrates me that P Diddy ever drove a BENTLEY through poverty stricken streets. Idiot.

Okay, so that wasn't supposed to happen...this was supposed to be about useless 'stuff'...soooo...I head out for Vegas on Thursday morning. Besides a short weekend in Ashland in February, this is my first actual trip since returning to Oregon. So, I'm looking forward to the 85 degree forecast, some real downtime, and quality time by the pool. Life'll be pretty simple until that 8:30 am flight back home on Sunday morning. If I decide to get on it, that is.

In other news, my half-sister is due in late July with new baby niece, who remains nameless. Right now the arguments surrounding her birth is whether she will be a Duck or a Beaver. All of us smart ones know which one she will be...the one wearing the Beaver booties.

I got invited to a trailer trash party in May. Send me some suggestions on what to wear, and remember, I like to wear clothes.

And lastly, most know I have been touting the 'single' title again for a while (but that is about all the detail you will get about that subject, ever). So, I am in the store the other day, listening to these two 19 year old girls talk about marriage. They start to say, "Oh my gosh, I want to get married before I turn 30 because if I wait until I am thirty and then have kids, I am going to be soooo old." So, I just wanted to say, thanks girls...thanks for the reminder that I am soooo old, and on top of that, soooo not married, and on top of that, apparently going to be soooo the oldest mom by the time I have kids. Thanks. You girls are soooo sweet.

Music time...Sun Kil Moon have a new CD out called April. It's great. Go buy it and get the bonus disc, or download it off iTunes...just make sure you actually pay for it so that they stay afloat because they are fantastic!

Fixed Lamp, Aggravating News, & Vegas

2008-03-26T20:24:00.000-07:00

So, the lamp from the last post has been replaced by a nice, unbroken, new one. Congrats to me.

My mother recently tried to contact my sister through a friend of hers. I don't like this at all and it's been making me wonder if I am next. Most who know me well understand why...though if you don't, feel free to go back and read this before you question why she's not in our life.

I am happily involved in the lives of my dad, his wife, and my half siblings now. I still teeter back and forth between two feelings about this:

1) Disappointment that I was raised by my mom and didn't get to be a part of my dad's and half siblings' lives until I was an adult...
2) Being aware and accepting of who I have become as a result of being raised by my mother...I'm someone who is pretty damn empathetic and resilient. I also notice I am a fierce peacemaker...maybe too much so at times.

So, let's keep with the off news why don't we? Oregon is still a tough transition for me. It's been a rollercoaster and I appreciate all of you who remain insanely 'there' for me whenever I need to talk, vent, all of it. My friends are amazing. So, just know that I realize that.

Alright, EXCITING news...I am heading to Vegas in mid April with about 16 friends for three nights and four days of fun. Vegas isn't exactly my 'perfect' destination due to the strip clubs, smoke, excessive drinking...BUT, I really NEED a vacation, we got all our nights and flight for 200 bucks, we're staying in a family resort full of cool stuff to do, and some of us are planning to head off the strip for a day out into the Red Rocks area to hike around and play. Not to mention, we'll have SUN everyday! It is going to be a blast.

Song of the moment...Chaiyya Chaiyya...it's from Inside Man and someobody finally stuck that version on Project Playlist. So, if you have my MySpace, go listen to it and promise not to make fun of me because, while culturally different to your ears...it's a badass song.

Night people.

Broken Lamp, Jack, and Ryan Adams

2008-02-21T20:23:00.000-08:00

This is my broken lamp. I broke it one night during a clutzy moment while switching out the plug...I am pretty good at accidentally breaking things (ask Justin, he used to keep a list on the fridge of stuff I would accidentally break in the house...and it was long). So, the thing is, I broke it a month ago and haven't replaced it yet...the jagged edges go all the way around and probably aren't that safe. It is a little artsy looking now though and I just haven't had time to drive to Ikea to get another one to replace it (it's truly just a boring $10 lamp, but I really like the energy efficient light bulbs that cost just as much as the lamp). So, if you come visit me, don't make fun of the lamp. Or, bring me a new one.

I got the new Jack Johnson CD back on February 3rd when it came out and it is so zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh, I'm sorry. I fell asleep talking about it. It's just too damn mellow. I mean, I know he recently had another kid (maybe he was trying to be quiet so he wouldn't wake him up) and recorded the CD in a solar powered building (maybe he was trying to conserve energy), but it is not what I was hoping for. Don't worry, he still looks really good on the cover though. My suggestion is to throw it in rotation of your sleep CD's or for your kid's naptime.

So, after my disappointment with not having a good driving CD to listen to, I ventured out and picked up Ryan Adam's newest CD (came out this past summer), Easy Tiger. This is THE BEST CD I have heard in a long time. Favorite song, and song of the moment...Everybody Knows. It is a perfect song.

That's all folks.

Maybe He'll Pay My $60 Parking Ticket Too

2008-02-05T22:39:00.000-08:00

Reprinted from espn.com:

Unexpected expenses can come at you fast. Like, 101 miles per hour in a 65 MPH zone fast. Luckily for LeBron James, he's making $13,041,250 in salary this season. That works out to:

• $159,039.63 per game;
• $3313.33 per minute;
• $55.22 per second.

So LeBron will have earned enough to pay off his speeding ticket of $259 after 5 seconds of Tuesday's game -- with $17 left over for gas.

Presidential Woes

2008-01-30T19:44:00.000-08:00

News this evening of Rudy Giuliani quitting the presidential race put a big smile on my face. I equated him to the closest thing to Bush that we could put in the White House. I feared having to watch him talk for four (or eight) years, all the while bugging his eyes out with each accentuated word that fell from his thin little lips (if you never noticed, watch now...it will drive you nuts). My biggest assumption was that he would eagerly carry on the Bush Family War overseas in Iraq. On a side note, I also personally never liked that the guy was fine with having mistresses while married either.

So, Rudy, I happily bid you farewell. Thank you for declining the idea of running for a VP spot too.

I am already nervous about the upcoming elections in November. I have to admit, that I am just not feeling Hillary, even though she is a woman. She just irks me a bit, and once again, it bothers me that she stayed with her stupid cheating husband (okay, Bill is supposedly a genius, and my guess is that a pre-presidential run divorce may not have looked so good to voters). That aside, her professional and personal can be separated, and that leaves me still just not 'feeling' the lady...and I don't give a damn if she cried and that the media said it made her 'human.' Maybe the media is the reason I am so irritated with her.

My ticket is really on Obama at the moment...my thinking is that the so called 'inexperienced' politician may actually utilize more of a positive team effort and not just assume himself the all mighty office idiot (like that one asshole in office right now). Obama is personable, has a Guy Smiley smile, and, in the end, seems to back a lot of my own beliefs.

So, here's the big fear. And it may be irrational, BUT, I really think that if a woman or a minority makes it into office, some idiot is going to try to assassinate them. And not just some idiot...many idiots. This will not change my vote. I embrace the chance for change in the office and am ABSOLUTELY voting for a non-Republican. I just see the potential out there for extremely racist and/or sexist individuals to really have a hard time with such a change in the USA and do something really stupid as a result.

I can only hope that my irrational assumption turns out to be unnecessary pessimism.

Song of the moment: Over My Head by Red House Painters. It is a mellow Sarah song, but you may like it.

Dear Oregon, Stork, Dems, and Jack...

2008-01-07T21:57:00.000-08:00

Dear Oregon,

Thanks for giving the Beavers a stellar football season. I always knew we were better than those Ducks.

Please give us some more days without rain. The sun would be a good accomplice to everyday right now too. Especially my birthday on Friday (that's a hint people...I only turn 30 once)!

Please HEAVILY consider speeding up this smokefree establishments movement so that I can go out and not have to overdramatically cough when people blow smoke in my face all night or take a shower when I get home (we ARE trying to make the world a greener place you know...at least until all the celebrities move on to a new cause).

Dear Stork,

Thanks for bringing me a new niece or nephew to hang out with this coming July. Twins would be good, but my sister Lexy and her husband Ben may want to try one kid to start with, so you decide.

Dear Democrats,

Please beat the Republicans over the next 11 months. I think we need a change in that whole mess that Mr. Bush and his pals have created. Screw executive power...get some competent people in office!

Dear Jack Johnson,

Thanks for coming out with your new CD Sleep Through the Static on February 5th. I already love the first song and will be in line at Borders to buy it when it comes out. Could you please be there so I can ogle you in real life for a while?

Love, Sarah

Oh, my song of the moment is Can't Complain by Nickel Creek...not Nickelback, Nickel Creek...the group that is actually talented and deserves radio airplay. Go listen to it.

News and Opinions, Part 1

2007-12-11T17:21:00.000-08:00

I figure that if I title this Part I, I will be more likely to post a Part II sooner than two months from now. So, posting few and far between, here is something to fill the void:

No More Mapquest: Justin bought me a Garmin for Christmas. I couldn't be more excited because I, as everyone knows, don't know north from south or east from west. Yes, I still utilize the 'it's that way' shout/pointing of the finger. The POI's and voiced directions will SURELY help with the upcoming trek across the country in a few days, which leads to...

Oregon Again: As I reduce the use of my blog over the years to post terrifyingly personal info about myself (I STILL haven't erased some of my posts from 2005 EVEN though I go back and read them and think, did I SERIOUSLY write that?!), I will use this short and sweet description of what is to come...

I will be back in Oregon...A LOT.

Those of you who talk to me on a regular basis are the ones who know what is going on, and that is how I would like to keep it. Over revealing post be damned, that's all I have to say. Oh, AND that I am looking forward to girl's nights and family time quite a bit. My younger sister and her husband are headed back the same time as me, so that is really exciting.

Never Buy Me the Stars: Sorry if you think it is awesome, but buying someone a star is stupid. You really want to pay $54.95 for a spot of gaseous light in the universe?! As this article says:

"Who gave them the right to name stars? And then charge someone for the name?" The answer is simple: Nobody gave them the right. They just do it.

So, unless you plan to lasso that star and put it in a really cool display box for someone (especially me), never buy a star as a present. Apparently, they are occasionally sold as part of fundraisers, so if buying someone a star sends a kid to Space Camp, go right ahead. But likely, you are just paying for a certificate from some slimy webrunner.

One last note. If the sun happens to be for sale, you can buy me that because you all know how much I love that big ball of happiness. As a favorite dialog with one of my good friends goes:

Him: What are you doing?
Me: Sitting in the sun.
Him: I knew it!

Speaking of Presents: Okay, not really, but my birthday is exactly one month away. It's one of those big ones that starts with a 3 and ends with an 0. My goal is to celebrate making it this far rather than freaking out about it. I mean, in some countries I would be LUCKY to live to 30, so why wouldn't I celebrate the big milestone? Though I have to admit, I will REALLY miss my twenties.

ALL CAPS: Yeah, so, I never got up to speed on writing in all caps being equal to yelling at someone. But, I like to emphasize my words in all caps...so don't take it personally alright.

And now, for the song of the moment (in all caps to emphasize that you MUST go listen to it):

DO YOU FEEL ME by ANTHONY HAMILTON

Absolutely obsessed with it right now. He appeared as himself in American Gangster (damn good movie by the way) and sang it. Great song from yet another often overlooked talent.

Alright, Part II should be coming to you from a desk in Oregon. Goodnight.

Life in Simple Sentences

2007-11-15T19:33:00.000-08:00

I'll be home in Oregon for a week starting Sunday night. It snowed today in Ohio. The Beavers officially have a winning season. I am giving those #2 Ducks some love this year because I have to as a faithful Oregonian (until the Civil War at least). We'll be going out on Friday night in Portland if any of you wonderful Oregon people want to come out with us. Go listen to, well, how about you all tell me what to go listen to. I need to find some new music!

Dear Beavers,

2007-10-26T16:17:00.000-07:00

Please beat Stanford tomorrow. And then USC the week after that.

Love, Sarah

Good Stuff of the Moment

2007-10-01T14:20:00.000-07:00

1) Jim and Pam are together on The Office. If you were hoping they wouldn't be, you just don't get it. Though I wish they would have kept us hanging a little longer.

2) 75 degrees and sunny weather for me

3) A triple bogey yesterday (apparently, this is bad for some, but for me...it's improvement. And a 6 on a Par 4...whatever that's called.

4) The Wind by Amos Lee, Dig by Incubus

5) Me home in Oregon for New Year's Eve again (I have a standing tradition with the Andersons that just can't be broken because of 2400 miles right...break out my annual shot glass!)

6) My team of lovely girlfriends who are always there when I need them (mushy love alert, but they're great...and Robin, well, she is borderline psychic).

7) Niagara Falls. Pretty tourist trapping, but really worth seeing. See...

Making the Rounds From Heaven?

2007-09-26T14:14:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine just posted a story to her blog about a dream she had last night where a friend who passed away was there, sitting at a table talking to her. She got to hug him and ask for him to stay until he finally said, "No. I'm sorry. But I'll always be here." I decided to leave a comment, mentioning that the night before her dream, I had a dream about our friend Greg where we were talking as if life was going on like normal. Minutes later, she sent me a message...He must be making his rounds because the dream was about Greg.

Being me, I refuse to think that it's just a coincidence we both had dreams about our very close friend on consecutive nights. Just because someone moves on doesn't mean that they don't have their ways of letting you know that they are still around. Especially this guy...if you knew him, you probably knew that he could get away with whatever he wanted.

So, I guess all I will say is that I'm happy to know that you're still checking in on us, Greg...and that I hope you know you are never far from our minds. Thanks.

Oh, if you click on the picture you can read the promissary note I made that he kept until he died...as an Alaska native, he had a plan to take AK back from the US. Would he have succeeded?

Something Other Than Turtles!

2007-09-12T20:42:00.000-07:00

I've been on a blog break and plan to pick back up again soon. In the meantime, here are some things I suggest you do:

1) Root for the Beavers. Even if they sucked against Cincinnati and are playing a lame blip of a team on Saturday...they need the love to get going again. Remember last year? It took a little time to make it to the glorious bowl games, but we did it.

2) Pick up some litter off the street (really, I bet if you look down when you head outside, there will be something).

3) Tell me what the hell has happened to Outkast...Big Boi, Andre, I miss you. Just because Idlewild tanked doesn't mean you had to call it a day. Come back!

4) Watch Zodiac. I liked it. True story too. Maybe watch anything with Clive Owen too...he's got a smoldering hotness about him and he can actually act!

5) Quit smoking. Smoking is rampant out here in Ohio, even with the no smoking laws in effect (which I love). Sorry smoking friends...I only want you to stop smoking so I can have you in my lives that much longer.

6) Hope that I quit having dreams that I am in jail. Ever since I've started going into the jails to interview inmates, I have dreams that I am getting locked up. It's really irritating.

7) Look for me sometime in the fall in an Oregon near you. I need Oregon time!

8) Listen to some songs of the moment...Breathe Me by Sia, the new Rogue Wave tune Lake Michigan. Then, go cry for Kanye West because he is such a whiny SOB...talented yes, but so, so, so in need of someone to tell him to quit with the pity party. I foresee a 50 Cent/Kanye West compilation in the next two years.

9) And lastly, give love to my lovely girls Jessica and Delainie. If you don't know them, you are missing out because they are two of the best friends a displaced Oregonian could have at the moment. Love you girls.

Night.

A Snapping Success

2007-08-28T14:12:00.000-07:00

The turtle above is celebrating with his arms in the air because all 32 of his snapping turtle family members successfully hatched and were released...3, then 6, then 20, then the final three today. (Well, maybe he is just terrified of the huge person hovering over him to take this pic). I'm surprised that they all made it and suffered many bug bites transporting them all out to their new home in the marsh. When there were just a few, I thought they were pretty cute, but as they grew in numbers, the prehistoric features started to creep me out a little. Here are a few more pics to check out..

Turtle Birthday!

2007-08-21T19:23:00.000-07:00

The first snapping turtle started hatching on Monday night and climbed out of his shell this afternoon. He is a little camera shy and I figured it would be mean of me to go all paparazzi on him and try to get a better shot by making him pose or yelling his name (which he doesn't have yet). So for now, you get this shot of his back turned to me. Of course, you also get to see turtle #2 hatching...it seems to take about a day for them to come completely out of their shells. I'll release these two in a few days together and then continue to pair them and release them as they hatch. Stay tuned for more pics of the rest of the bunch.

The Kidz Bop Slaying

2007-08-15T19:29:00.001-07:00

I don't like the sound of children singing. Call me a cold and heartless person, but unless they are in a prestigious choir or they are a cute little button of a three year old trying to eke out The Itsy Bitsy Spider, I simply tune them out.

I can trace my disdain all the way back to elementary school music class. When it wasn't 'instrument day,' I would sit on the bleachers with the other kids and literally SUFFER through the sound of us all singing together. I always hated participating in holiday music festivals. I never owned a kid music tape or record (except for the Alvin and the Chipmunk records…but those were chipmunks singing, not kids).

And so we have the release of Kidz Bop 12, a horrific compilation of mega hit covers sang by tone deaf tweens and untalented adult leads. It debuted at number seven on the Billboard Charts this week selling 71,000 copies.

I did some iTunes research and backtracked through the Kidz Bop years. It appears that no song released after 2001 is safe from a kid friendly butchering…Snow Patrol, Rascal Flatts, Gnarls Barkley…if they've had a top twenty hit, chances are that an assault has been made on their musical integrity.

What do I really think is so wrong with kids singing top hit tunes that mostly suck anyway? Well, besides the REALLY terrible singing, let's look at the song selections…What Goes Around…Comes Around by Justin Timberlake. Seriously?! It's a song purely about infidelity and revenge! I don't think I knew many shady 12 year old hookers who was wronging the boys in my day. Ditto on Beautiful Liar…not that I even know who sings the real version of that useless garbage, but it sucks. They also attempt a hardcore 'rock out' (and hardly angry) version of Never Again by Kelly Clarkson. I had no idea that tweens were so head strong about love and loss! But wait, in addition to being 'angry' they can also be so 'sad' too, evidenced as they emotionally convey it off tune in their rendition of Boston by Augustana. And of course, they can all "stand under my umbrella, ella, ella" too. Didn't that song just come out like two months ago?

I guess I should really give some credit to my mother for protecting me from the shitty kids music trend. She managed to instill a true sense of musical appreciation in me. At a young age, our mom was making us compilations of Harry Chapin, Fleetwood Mac, and Led Zeppelin to stick in our tape players. We watched movies with great soundtracks like The Big Chill and Footloose (I saw it three time in the movie theater when I was five years old) and had a shelf full of great musicals. We decorated the Christmas tree every year while watching Billy Joel videos or collections of videos she'd record off of MTV. She'd go to concerts and come back and tell us all about them and then play the music for us (which wasn't always good…I don't know if I will ever listen to another Billy Squire or Journey song in my life because they got deathly overplayed in my house). And of course, I had THREE posters of Billy Idol on my wall in the second grade and a t-shirt that I sported to school every chance I got. My sister still has a killer collection of records (yes, records...we're getting old here) that she got from our mom.

So, here's my thought...If you want your kids to grow up with a true appreciation for music, let them listen to the real thing. Saturate them with all different genres. Rarely turn on the radio. Their (and your) reward? The singers will be in tune, the instruments won't be synthesized, and best of all, there won't be a bunch of obnoxious kids singing you the chorus.

Back to the Working World

2007-08-07T22:11:00.000-07:00

After a long two and half months of not answering to anyone except the dogs whining in the morning to go outside, I'm heading back to work full time in community corrections.

Starting Monday, I'll be wearing the 'social service' hat again as an Intake Specialist for a non-profit in a neighboring city. My job will be to assess inmates for suitability in community intermediate sanctions...basically, I will be helping to reduce the inmate population by moving suitable inmates to other programs like residential facilities and house arrest. Some positives to this job:

1) No caseload...I just get to screen, test, and interview and then move them on to an assigned caseworker. 2) The company I'll be working for has saved the state something like $40 million by keeping people out of jail and by reducing reoffending. 3) My ego can become re-intact now that I will have a job title other than 'house manager' and 'full time dog mom'...not that I think staying home full time is bad...it's just not for me at this time in my life. 4) This will be my shortest commute ever at 17 miles.

Hopefully, I'll have some updates for you next week on what I think.

In the meantime, go listen to Jailhouse by Sublime. A fitting choice for the new gig and one of the few Sublime songs I never got sick of after our freshman year of college when everyone played the self titled disc over and over and over and over and...

32 Future Yertles

2007-08-03T11:45:00.001-07:00

Warning: This post is exclusively about turtle eggs, so you may want to skip it if that bores you to death. My nephew Cedar just asked me over the phone today if I "could maybe send the turtle eggs in the mail to him for a few days." That I can't do, so I thought that posting this pic instead might make him happy.

We have been working on leveling our backyard, and unknowingly hit this clutch with a shovel last week. Three eggs were sacrificed, so I decided that the best thing to do would be to move them to a safer place until they hatch (mother turtles are DONE with the babies after they have laid the eggs). So I did some research online, created this nest, placed all the eggs in the same direction that I pulled them out in, and check them every few days to see if they are hatching. A snapping turtle had been in our yard a couple months ago while I was home in Oregon, so it can be assumed that these guys are due to hatch between now and the end of the month. Once they are hatched and done digesting their yolks (eww), I will take them out and release them in the swamp behind our house. I don't expect them all to hatch (some were very light compared to others), but will take some pics of the babies before I let them go and post those. Justin asked if we could keep one as a pet (but I think he is joking). We could, but I think that the chance of a monstrous snapping turtle chomp on a dog's nose or person's finger weed out that option.

Good Dirty Fun

2007-07-25T15:41:00.001-07:00

I took part in a mud volleyball tournament over the past weekend and thought I would share some pics from the experience. My hesitation about spending a day in the mud quickly disappeared after I duck taped up my shoes (you have to if you want them to stay on in the mud and not get cut by the rocks underneath) and jumped in. We beat our first competitors 15-1 and ended up 4-2 to clinch a spot in the third place bracket. To the left is part of our team, The Itsy Bitsy Spikes, after three games. Not so dirty! There were some teams with people swimming, floating, and diving into the mud, but most of our team heeded the warning that sharp rocks were at the bottom of the pits (may have had something to do with our team being one of the fewer sober teams there).

I am pretty certain that true volleyball skills had little to donate to this tournament. Knee deep in mud with eight to a team, the spikes were few and far between, and several times, the ball would just thud onto the water right outside arm's length, splashing tons of lovely mud right up into your face. There were quite a few rallies though and it was hard to not just dive for the ball (though hilarious when people did...they'd lie there for a minute and then stand up, soaked and shocked, covered from head to toe).

We plan to participate again next year with a more organized team and stay the whole day (half of us had to leave eight hours into it before we finished the tournament because of other obligations). If they have one of these going on in your area, I recommend taking part...you will get a free mud bath and have a lot of fun.

Eight Random Things

2007-07-20T01:01:00.000-07:00

I have been posting a lot lately, but I can't sleep and my sister tagged me to write 8 random things about myself and then tag 8 others to do the same (and has been harassing me constantly to get it done). What the hell is a meme? Apparently this is it. So here, have some facts about my first 29 years:

1) Not really a drama queen: I was the first female in my highschool class to become a thespian. Of course, I am not much of an actress (I had my own monologue in a one act play), did mostly 'techie' work, and purely did it to hang out with my sister and stay out of our crazy house, but it's a nice factoid. Later, the school ditched thespians and labeled themselves 'Drama Club' instead. I thought most of the Drama Club people were nuts.

2) If you know me, this isn't surprising: I actually won an award in a high school summer program for having 'The Loudest Volume of Voice." Hey, for two summers in a row, I lived in dorms with 70 other high school kids...you had to be loud if you wanted anyone to hear you. It was an awesome program though which allowed me 9 weeks out of every summer to escape from my house and also helped me to become the first person in my family to graduate from college.

3) Fish in the burbs: In elementary school, I lived in a suburb with a community pool. My favorite thing to do was these extravagant flips off the diving board ALL day...until one day. The lifeguard on duty said that I should be careful because my head was too close to the end of the board when I did my flips. After her comment, I could never bring myself to do another flip again and I am still pissed about it. Another part to this is that we got to live in the suburb because my aunt wanted us to grow up in a nice place, so she registered the house she owned in the neighborhood to qualify for low income housing which made it affordable for my single mom and three kids to live there. Thanks Aunt Marlene!

4) Which one are you again? I have had two boyfriends with the last name Gardner and dated two guys with the last name Turner. AND, in highschool I dated two guys named Brian at the same time, which made messages left for me in my absence hard to figure out..."Well, which Brian was it?" "I dunno." The Gardner men were close together and had similar first names, so people would accidentally refer to the new one as the old ones name. Oh gosh, this is a terrible factoid that surely will not make a father proud.

5) Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh: In high school, I had some guy friends in a neighboring town who created a song about me while we were on a spring break camping trip. It was essentially my name over and over. It went (as Julie Engel can sing perfectly) "Dun nuh nuh nuh nuh, Sarah C----." Two years later, a college classmate mentioned that he had been down by the river a couple nights before and 'some guys were singing a song with your name.' It was pretty embarrassing because I had a huge crush on the guy (well, maybe it captivated him, because he eventually asked me out and was my boyfriend for a couple months). I think there is actually a recording of that song out there somewhere.

6) My suppressed childhood: In highschool I had to tell a judge my opinion on the custody battle for my brother to either live with my mom or my aunt. I apparently told the judge that I thought he would end up dead if he had to live with my mom and her then husband. After, I yelled and screamed at everyone that I wanted them all to get along. To this day, I can't remember anything about that day except for what others tell me, but I am happy that my aunt raised my brother. Thanks again Aunt Marlene.

7) Speaking of: Well, since I have mentioned her a couple times already, lets just tell this story: My Aunt Marlene is actually not even related to us. She is the sister of my mom's first boyfriend after my parents got divorced. The two were not together that long, but we gained some great family members from the relationship...the boyfriend is now 'Uncle David' and their mom was our 'Grandma' who passed away while I was in high school. They did a lot to help us kids turn out okay.

8) Study by song: I used to make up songs out of the words in my textbooks in order to memorize important information and prepare for tests. It really worked.

So, now I get to tag eight other people. Sadly, my blog friends and 'regular reads' don't write so much anymore except for Benny K, who my sister already tagged, and Zach Braff, who, well, lets just say probably doesn't have time for this. So, this will bring me to tag...

#1 JB! JB leads an incredibly interesting life and surely has 8 facts to write about himself. So JB, write away and spread the love.

#2-8...Well, the rest are MySpace bloggers with private accounts, so what is the use in tagging them? But, I think that Marni, Louise, Liz, Sarah K St J, Julie, and Wes may actually take a stab at it because they write ever so often. So if you read this (in MySpace World), write something girls (and guy). So, there you go. Don't say I didn't try sister Jennifer.

Some From the Life of Sarah

2007-07-15T19:55:00.000-07:00

Here are some of my opinions and thoughts of the moment...

DC: I thoroughly enjoyed my trip to Washington DC last week. I got to spend time with my good Oregon friend Marni and her family while touring what I found to be an amazing city. We battled 100 degree heat the first day and then did an evening tour of all of the monuments and memorials that night. Two favorites of the trip: The Franklin Delano Roosevelt Memorial and the US Holocaust Memorial Museum.

It was a sad reality check to walk through all the exhibits at the Holocaust Museum and realize that most of the women, children, and elderly people in the pictures did not survive. Some pictures actually have 'this man was executed shortly after this picture was taken' written right below.

This gets me to thinking...how did the world ever let something like the Holocaust happen? And how in this world are there some people who think that it never happened? And how IN THE WORLD are we still letting things like this happen in other countries everyday? Completely baffling and unethical.

A good movie about ethnic cleansing: The Mission. It's a genius 1986 film with Robert DeNiro.

On a lighter note, my other favorite feature of DC had to be The Onion, in print, free to take, at the entry ways to the Metro Station. I need a subscription to this now!

No mo Harry Po: I went to see Harry Potter the other night because the nine year old we were watching wanted to see it. I have to be honest and say that I find Harry Potter to be DREADFULLY dull and boring. Maybe if I read the books, I would be able to make it through a movie and like it, but I was literally bored to tears. Yes, I know most of the world just loves these movies. But I will never be one of them.

This is a good time for another 'this gets me to thinking'... I tend to have a problem with long movies set in fantasy. Lord of the Rings...possibly the most captivating trilogy known to cinema right? Can't stand them. Star Wars...the original three were good, but most recent ones drove me nuts. Maybe this has something to do with my attention span. Hmm. I have always been a bigger fan of nonfiction, reality, all the 'true story' flicks and books. But I really did have an imagination as a kid, I swear!

And lastly, a Sarah report: People, I am restless. I am going nuts being several states/days/hours away from most everyone who matters to me. Doesn't this always happen to Sarah when she lives far away? Maybe I will start working on warp speed time travel this week.

Song of the moment: Love Song by Sara Bareilles. So what if it was the free song of the week on iTunes two weeks ago...you can't help but want to sing along and love it.

A Wish Granted

2007-07-13T10:38:00.000-07:00

I have been duplicating the posts from this blog into my MySpace blog. A friend honored my request to stick it to Ann Coulter by leaving this pic in the comments on that blog...

Love it! My sister also informed me of a great blog that captures politics called People in the Sun. Check it out. And here is another one called Coulter vs Predator. It's no longer updated, but what is there is pretty funny.

Travel Advice

2007-07-11T14:20:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a three day road trip to Washington DC. According to my tiny Chicken Little resembling 15 year old cashier at Hardee's this afternoon, it's a good thing I went before 2009...

Her: Are you travelling today?
Me: Yeah (I think to myself...why else would I be in this truck stop mecca that is Breezewood, PA?)
Her: Where to? (She pushes up on the nose of her oversized glasses)
Me: Headed back to Ohio from DC
Her: Do you travel a lot?
Me: I like to.
Her: Well, you should really reconsider that because starting in 2009, they are raising the tolls on the roads by 25 percent!
Me: Oh, they are pretty spendy I guess.
Her: Yeah, when I get my license and can drive with someone, because I am 15 right now, I am going to drive my whole family to Ocean City. Have you been to Ocean City?
Me: No.
Her: You should go. That's where I am driving my whole family (didn't she just tell me this)...but we are going BEFORE 2009.
Me: Alright. Thanks for the tip.

After the conversation ends, she counts back my change and cheers to herself "Yah, I got the change right!"

I start to think to myself...Gasoline costing $3 a gallon and plane tickets in the hundreds...who cares? If I have to pay that extra two bucks at the toll road in 2009, I am never stepping foot outside my house again!

Thanks for the advice weird little Pennsylvania girl.

Duct Tape + Ann Coulter = PLEASE!

2007-06-27T21:30:00.000-07:00

So, Ann Coulter thinks it's alright to use the word 'faggot' if you are using it in the right crowd...and by right crowd I mean 'right wing' crowd. Glenn Beck, a conservative himself, shot back at her that, no, it's not okay to use that word...ever...no matter what type of crowd you are entertaining. By the way, for a conservative news guy, I generally respect his point of view...it is quite opposite of how Ann Coulter goes about spouting her own.

I despise Ann Coulter. She is the epiphany of ignorance. I actually cheered a few years back when someone threw a pie in her face, and I quickly change the channel when her bug eyed bitchy voiced frame appears on the TV for fear of chucking the remote at it and breaking the screen. Why? She typically represents her side of conservatism with such hatred for the people she doesn't see eye to eye with. Those who are liberal, gay, or just pissed about the war will rarely hear a well thought out and educated explanation for why they should see it her way. Instead, she resorts to slurs, lashing out, and 'shock jock' type antics to push her points.

Those who know me know that I am pretty far left on most of my political views. And with that, I maintain strong opinions on some things...I'm sick of the war, support pro-choice, am all for same sex couples and marriage. I wish we'd cancel Columbus Day and label him a murderer instead, and think Bush is a big putz (vetoes stem cell research, takes away money from foreign countries that don't teach his abstinence plan in place of sexual health and education, cannot put together just ONE sentence that makes sense). I do however, listen to people's points of view. I try to understand where they're coming from, and maybe even get into educated debates with them.

On the flipside, I still lose it if you say 'that's so gay' or 'fag' around me. I can't stand racial or cultural slurs. I also wish that all those who are so set on removing all the immigrants from the US would step back and realize that they themselves are probably here from some long line of immigrants...know many people here who are 100% Native American? Didn't think so.

That is probably why I wish that someone would take a fat piece of duck tape and stick it across Ann Coulter's mouth. She tends to hit me on my 'flipside' way too often. And those types of people just tick me off.

I noticed tonight while watching Glenn Beck give her his POV, she actually shut her mouth and looked a little defeated. I hope that this is a true sign that she has to know, deep down somewhere, that she is almost always talking out of her ass and just hoping that her 'right wing' crowd will cheer her on.

Time to Love Spoon

2007-06-26T08:37:00.000-07:00

And no, not the type that scoops my cereal...here is the Good and Not So Good...plenty of it too...

GOOD: Beavers win the College World Series 2 years in a row, Tar Heels boyfriend left defeated and pouting again (well, that part may not be good, but he'll get over it).

NOT SO GOOD: Humidity. Especially, 92 degree weather with high humidity. Smooth shiny hair isn't much of a trend out here.

GOOD: John Legend, Amos Lee, Rogue Wave, and now, Spoon...nothing brand new...but all so worth your ears!

NOT SO GOOD: That song by a 17 year old kid about committing suicide if she doesn't love him. Really bad. No clue who sings it. He kind of sounds like Akon (who is such a winner himself...have you heard his apology song? What a dumb shit).

GOOD: Golf...hate watching it, but really like playing it. Suburban life is swallowing me whole. Someone check my insides for robotic features.

NOT SO GOOD: Suburban teenagers with really nice cars that they drive really fast through the neighborhood on summer nights. Was I once that teen? Wait, we were worse...we did that in really crappy cars and egged houses. Gosh, I feel guilt.

And on a serious note of NOT SO GOOD...Abuse and domestic violence. Even one incident makes the list too long. A pro wrestler just killed his wife, child, and then himself. Here in Ohio, a boyfriend is under arrest for suspicion of killing his nine months pregnant girlfriend (and apparently assaulting her in front of their two year old). It's a true mess. What can we do to change it?

Oh and I forgot to mention in my last post on 6/23...love to GDD. If you knew him, you loved him.

Song of the moment: I Turn My Camera On by Spoon. Listen and like!

Beavs Kill the Heels Part II?

2007-06-23T09:38:00.000-07:00

Today begins a very important event in the Sarah-Justin household for the second year in a row...

THE BEAVERS WILL PLAY GAME ONE OF THE COLLEGE WORLD SERIES AND BEAT THE TAR HEELS AGAIN!

Well, that is my hope at least. Justin's dad called me last night to cheer on the Beavers (even though his son is the Tar Heel)...yes that's right...he knows the better team to root for...or maybe he just likes me more.

Everyone in Beaver Nation better be cheering!

GO BEAVS!

Back, and As Always...A Little ADD

2007-06-11T21:51:00.000-07:00

Well, I had a blog all written and it DISAPPEARED...a sign it must have been too boring to read. So, here is news in speed form...and sadly, it is probably still a little boring.

Back in Ohio...missing you Oregonians, but actually happy to be back to Justin, my dogs, my own bed. There is always something nice about losing the five pounds you gained while eating out for 2 weeks straight. Seriously, I ate everything I usually don't on my last trip home...two BBQ's alone on my last night in town, treat trips with my nephew, 8 Happy Meals because I did so much last minute eat and drive stuff, plenty of social desserts and drinks...bad I tell you.

Other randomness: We've been working on interior painting a lot...one night until 6 am***I have eight boxes of cereal in my cupboard right now***My allergies still suck***The Beavs are in the College World Series again for Baseball...GO GUYS GO!***

If you want to test out some good music, visit my new playlist on my MySpace. I have to say, every time I visit MySpace or talk about it, I think of Maya Rudolph on Saturday Night Live playing the teen who spontaneously yells 'MySpace!' midsentence during her appearances on the news. And then...I feel like a loser for having a MySpace.

Moving on from spontaneuos to gratuitous, have you seen Alpha Dog? That movie could have been so much more, but they had so many GRATUITOUS sex scenes where they could have been developing characters more...lame. If you want to watch a good movie about the drug business, stick with City of God...absolutely amazing and also based on a true story with the characters so well developed that you want to scream. Another good movie...Running With Scissors. That movie is so bizarre, but completely worth watching.

Well, let's hope my next post is a little less ADD...what the heck is this mess I just wrote?

Midnight in Good Old Oregon

2007-05-29T01:15:00.000-07:00

Well, Washington actually...I'm five minutes north of the Oregon border at my sister's in Vancouver for a few nights. I just rounded out three nights and four days in Salem where I stayed at Robin's brand new house and ate too much everyday with she and Aimee.

While in Salem, we managed to get in a great girl's night with nine of us (thanks to Gwyn, Delainie, and Louise for doing the footwork to make it happen...so much fun!). My favorite part of the night was toward the end when a guy who knew Wes (who witnessed the tail end of the girl madness) commented, "It's awesome to see a group of people out genuinely having fun together...like, you guys actually all like each other. Most of the time in a group like this, people are putting up fronts and acting like they're too cool, but you guys look like real friends." Very true.

Well, I'll offer up a quick Good and Not So Good. It's definitely been a long time:

GOOD:

The weather in Oregon while I'm here...seventies and eighties everyday with clear skies. No rain. Yes, no rain.

Smokefree establishments: We managed to find three different places to go on Saturday night that were smokefree. Going back to Robin's to fall into bed not smelling like smoke was great.

Rogue Wave: Wait, let me say that again...ROGUE WAVE! JB, they're the best gift of music you could have possibly given me. I love them. They are just a perfect band and have completely satisified my need for new music. Listen to them people. You will like them.

Justin: Yes, Justin gets credit here for supporting me in turning down that job a couple weeks ago, then quitting it, AND THEN going on an 11 day trip back home, without him. Did I mention that Sarah means princess? Some days it REALLY shows. Oh, he's also been working on all kinds of house chores while I am gone, so thanks again. I do have relocation chores to do while I am here too, but it's all pretty painless when it's surrounded by several of my friends and family members.

NOT SO GOOD:

My intermediate sized car rental is a PT Cruiser. I just can't say I love the ride, style, or gas mileage much and really thought I was going to get something more car shaped. But it has been getting me from point A to point B no problem, so I think I will survive another week in the bright red thing.

Allergies: My allergies have transformed into a crappy cold. Pretty annoying. The valley has been walloping me the past few days. I've got allergies in Ohio, but not this bad.

Joblessness: Probably not a word, but I kind of need to get a job again when I get back to Ohio. I still dislike the job market there, and my sister suggests that I just get my stuff together and start freelancing. That would be pretty ideal for this girl who likes to write a lot. Someone just needs to kick me until I actually try to get something published.

Alright, go listen to Rogue Wave. I'm going to bed.

Four More Days With Psycho Bird

2007-05-20T11:56:00.000-07:00

To the left is my new friend, Psycho Bird. PB, as I will call him, has been terrorizing our house for the past few days. He dive bombs the family room windows, sits tapping repetitively on this window. I don't know what we did, but PB looks a little pissed off (click on the picture to get a closer look). I am guessing that too, because he has unloaded quite a bit of his unmentionables on the ledge of this window. Anyone ever had a 'friend' like PB before?

In other news, only four more days until I head home for almost two weeks. I'm really looking forward to the trip. I wrapped up my job on Friday, so I am officially on vacation until I land a new position. I wouldn't mind that being sooner than later. The weather here in Ohio seems to be beating Oregon's right now...sun, sun, and more sun. Hopefully that rain will exit for the entire time I am in town.

I've added in a pic of Maggie for all to see. She is getting big. She unfortunately has no real interest in catching that frisbee in the pic with her, but plays a mean game of keepaway from Bailey. She grabs it and runs around the yard taunting him with it. Pretty cute. Bailey's pretty patient with her.

Alright, see most of you Oregonians in a few days. Can't wait!

Help Plan My Trip and Have Some Trix

2007-05-07T13:25:00.000-07:00

Well, my sister called me after my last post to make sure I was okay. Apparently my tone was a little short and angry. In response, yep, I am fine. I just occasionally have a hard time when I have to be around stupid people. By choice, I try to limit my interactions with stupid people. But since I don’t live in a box, I will always have to DEAL with it right?

In other news, I am still trying to figure out a good time to come home. It seems like Memorial Day weekend and the surrounding time is pretty open for everyone I want to see, so it may be toward then and then some of June (as Jess has requested me to be home for her birthday). Let me know people.

So, I am quitting my job right before I leave for my trip. As some know, the current gig’s human resources department wouldn’t agree to a fair amount of vacation in my first couple of years…who can survive on one week a year for two years!? A quote I love: “Life is not work. It can’t be. It shouldn’t be.” Maybe the social service industry spoiled me, but I can’t sack up and live with no vacation. What is with the crappy American business vacation expectations anyway? And maternity leave? People, we can’t settle for it!

Okay, no more complaining. Here is some stuff that I am really excited about right now:

1) Trix cereal dropped the fruity shapes and converted back to round puffs of fruity goodness. Seriously folks, this is important to a cereal connoisseur like me.
2) Frisbee golf…We have an awesome course 2 miles from our house. It’s such a fun thing to do when the weather is nice. Speaking of…
3) The weather has been GREAT here. The trees are all blooming, the grass is green, and the sun has been pretty constant. A nice change that makes me realize I can handle living in Ohio.
4) My neighbors know that my name isn’t Susan now. We went to a get together at their house on Friday night, so the alternate name was blown. Well, I actually didn’t mind being Susan, but oh well.
5) Maggie is only 17 weeks, but already 30 pounds. She is virtually house trained too. Pretty smart puppy so far.
6) My trip home to Oregon! I may have to be a bit of a TRIPZILLA and plan a lot instead of flying by the unscheduled seat of my pants like I usually do. Anyone want to go to Seaside for a day?

That’s all for now.

A Rant Before Bed

2007-05-03T19:39:00.001-07:00

So, everyone has heard the guy who says, "I'm kind of a prick" or "Some people don't like me, but screw them." The statements tend to be uttered by narcissistic assholes who people grumble about all the time and wish would just go away. They're the 'one uppers' at all the get togethers, the ones who have to chime in on everything, the ones who have a track record of making friends who they think they're 'tight' with, and then losing them pretty quickly. They clearly have characteristics that need changed, but won't do it...no, it's just not in the 'prick' code of ethics to admit one's faults and actually, gulp, try to better themselves.

Not that these 'pricks' didn't before, but I've decided that they just irritate the shit out of me. Why would you be proud that you are a prick or that people don't like you? Are these guys just too above the world to care that they make everyone else's lives less enjoyable.
I often feel like telling these guys, "Yes you are an absolute prick. Now shut the f**k up and swim to the island where all the other pricks are and compete for one another's attention until the last 'one up' causes a big brawl that leads to all your untimely deaths."

Ahh, I feel better. Now repeat the rant with 'girl' in place of 'guy' and 'bitch' in place of 'prick' if you feel that I have unfairly attacked men tonight. There are definitely female versions who are just as bad.

Nacissism, ugh.

A Reactionary Post to Guns

2007-04-16T17:54:00.000-07:00

Well, not really that reactionary, considering this is how I feel most of the time, even on days when someone hasn't taken two 9mm guns and killed over 20 people and injured almost 30 more. Get ready for my rant, because here I go…

Here is my reaction to the tragedy at Virginia Tech today: GUNS ARE STUPID!

Many will say that it isn't the guns that are stupid, but the people who use them. True, maybe. In that case, I can't support that the lame gun control we have in this country is enough for all those stupid people. How is it so easy to get a gun here?! When is it going to actually change?

My neighboring cities in Ohio are prime examples of poor gun control. One dead teenager after a game of Russian Roulette. One 17 year old girl shot in the face by an abusive ex boyfriend. She is still in the hospital recovering from her wounds. One brand new mom and a store cashier shot dead in a robbery last year. A POLICE OFFICER shooting a teenage boy dead in what appeared to be a spook situation where the shot was not needed. More robberies, more domestic violence cases. You read about shootings EVERYDAY here.

I think that the only purpose for having a gun should be hunting (FOR FOOD ONLY, and only if you're not an idiot like Dick Cheney). Even then, how many hunting accidents occur every year? And how many people abuse hunting laws by shooting too many animals or shooting unnecessarily for sport?

If we are going to allow guns to be such a prevalent part of our society, we need to create more education and laws. Every person who owns a gun OF ANY KIND (except water, and maybe a Red Ryder beebee gun) should be REQUIRED to undergo psychological testing, take gun handling classes, purchase proper locking cases and safety equipment, AND have that gun subject to a yearly 'audit' or 'fingerprinting' so that the owner is made to be completely responsible for that gun. Treat it like a fucking diamond that you would never let out of your sight. If none of that works, I say we take Chris Rock's advice and start charging people $5000 per bullet!

Truthfully, when all is said and done, this kind of violence just makes me pretty sad, and I just hate guns...to a point that I actually consider myself to be somewhat 'afraid' of them. But in most cases, a gun in America has proven that it is not a good means of protection, or even a good 'recreational toy' to play with…compared to other developed countries, we are just too careless with them. What do other developed countries do to keep their guns so under control? I hope we figure it out soon.