Staring over the top of my laptop, watching the Blazers lose. This is not good. Maybe I should write something.
I just booked a trip to New York with my buddy Ryan. He had leftover round trip tickets via frequent flier miles, he knows I have the most flexible schedule in the world, and, we don‘t appear to have the ability to kill one another…so lucky me, I get a free roundtrip ticket. We are flying into Long Island, taking only backpacks and storming the city for five days, trying to see as much as we can while we are there. I did an eleven day, five city tour of Spain once with just a carry-on, so I think I will be able to swing it. Any ideas on what to do and see while we are there would be greatly appreciated. This trip should break up my mind while I am waiting for my three weeks off at the end of June to go on my 2500 mile, five state roadtrip through OR, CA, NV, UT, and ID. That time is much needed, and let me explain in more detail…
Despite my rosy persona, I am a little discontent lately. Don’t get me wrong…I love my life, my friends, my family, all that stuff I regurgitate post after post…but obviously, I should constantly refocus and look at where I am in life, right? Sooo, I was sitting in my room the other morning, thinking about all the obligations I had to fulfill that day, realizing that all I really wanted to do was throw Bailey in the car and drive to Seaside. I didn‘t, but maybe I should have.
So let’s talk relationships shall we? I rarely do, so this is your peek into this side of me. I occasionally think that whoever ends up being the other half in my life is going to just have to mold to the happy chaos that is my everyday…events, obligations, friends, family. But in all honesty, I want to get selfish and just hole up with someone and forget about everyone for a while and figure out how life works with that person, then ease all of the chaos from both our lives together, sloooowly. Eh, just a thought.
I just know I’d be looking into my life as a guy thinking…where the Hell is she gonna fit me in?! Okay, I admit it…it was said to me OUTRIGHT a few months ago by someone who’d accumulated five months of on and off time with me…he had a good glimpse of me, and he was right (though I denied it)…I still spread myself too thin. I go back to a few years ago when my other half at the time asked me, “When was the last time you did something JUST for you?” I couldn’t come up with anything…at all. I spent several months after that revelation doing a lot more for myself…and loved it.
And at this moment, I think I need to adjust again…sometime soon perhaps. Lord knows I may change my mind tomorrow. But I like this idea. So don’t be offended if I disappear. I promise I will still be there for all the important stuff. But, maybe I will come out on the other side as my friend KnowGood has been ordering…coupled up sometime in the next few months (well, he said May is my deadline actually, but, I think I should get some grace weeks).
Meh, how about some songs from my Shazam list (so, things that sound good to my ears on first contact) and some that I just tend to love: Smile by Uncle Kracker, Promises by The Morning Benders, Felicia by Constellations, Help I’m Alive by Metric, Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg, I Might Be Crying by Tanita Tikaram. I'm bringing back Chaiyya Chaiyya too...by A.R. Rahman.
And yes, this is one of those posts I just had to write…and the Blazers just lost…boooooo. And with that, I am hitting the publish button...
Monday, April 26, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
What Are You Doing? Sitting In the Sun. I Knew It!
I haven’t mentioned that dialogue between Wes and I from 2006 for the year yet, but most days when I’m sitting in the sun (like right now), I think of it and laugh. And with that, I give you many moments of reflection…
Today was spent at a memorial service for a close friend‘s dad. The idea of burying our parents just seems too soon, and in this case, it was for sure. It was nice to see how loved a person could be though and also wonderful to know that the man truly just lived life to the fullest, the way he wanted to, surrounded by love and laughter, until his dying day. I mean, the entire staff of a restaurant he frequently visited showed up to bid him farewell…pretty amazing.
I saw my oldest younger brother this morning by chance. He’s one of the loves of my life, but like something of a bad boyfriend who never returns your calls or remembers to call you on your birthday. He’s always shown his love in his own way though, and referred to me as ‘sis’ and hugged me before scampering along with a buddy. He recently had a kid and when I went to visit, whispered to his 2 week old son, “Look, your whole family is here right now.” I’ve been trying to figure out how to relate to him since my mom lost custody of him when he was fourteen. I’m assuming that one day we’ll just get it right, but I’d like that day to come sooner rather than later.
Other thoughts:
I’m a bad dog parent and Bailey may be my last dog for many years to come. I'll never get rid of him, but I think I'd be living downtown in a condo right now if I didn't have him. That said, he’s ten, happy, healthy, and continues to have 100 toys all over the house. And that said, I’m naming my next dog Rogue or Cupid Valentino…yea, as much as I think I will be without a dog one day, I don't think it's in my blood to be dog-less.
I think I am about 75% success and 25% failure on my Resolutions for 2010. Notably, I continue to suck at spending time with my friends who have kids (when the kids are present), I don't go to bed before midnite most nights, and I still overanalyze the hell out of everything.
And, I got this quote from someone I really don't know, but, I think it is worth noting: "People who can't see a good thing in front of them when they have it are useless." Well said stranger, well said.
And finally, I really did make an itinerary for my spring and summer. It's insane...I mean, out of control, but typical me and it's all a ton of fun stuff. I will officially announce now though: I will probably NEVER come to your candle, jewelry, handbag, or Pampered Chef Party. If I want something, I'll order it straight up from you. Weddings...yes, b'days...98.3% of the time, grand openings of stuff you're proud of...of course, and memorial services for those you love... absolutely. But, considering I rarely say no, I figured I had to put the ban out somewhere.
And with that, some songs: Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart by Alicia Keys, Half of My Heart by that scumbag John Mayer, You and Me by DMB, Stop for a Minute by Keane, Over by Drake, Kandi by One Eskimo, Quality Control by Jurassic 5, Shining Down by Lupe Fiasco, annnnd Dracula's Wedding by Outkast & Kelis. Yea, some of those are from a guy I used to date who had fabulous taste in music and was brave enough to dance around his house to hip hop music in front of me. The good thing about so-so relationships is quite possibly the awesome music you get out of them before it all goes bust...or at least I will try to think about it that way.
Innertubing the rivers is just around the corner everyone. Start blowing yours up now so we are on time this year.
Today was spent at a memorial service for a close friend‘s dad. The idea of burying our parents just seems too soon, and in this case, it was for sure. It was nice to see how loved a person could be though and also wonderful to know that the man truly just lived life to the fullest, the way he wanted to, surrounded by love and laughter, until his dying day. I mean, the entire staff of a restaurant he frequently visited showed up to bid him farewell…pretty amazing.
I saw my oldest younger brother this morning by chance. He’s one of the loves of my life, but like something of a bad boyfriend who never returns your calls or remembers to call you on your birthday. He’s always shown his love in his own way though, and referred to me as ‘sis’ and hugged me before scampering along with a buddy. He recently had a kid and when I went to visit, whispered to his 2 week old son, “Look, your whole family is here right now.” I’ve been trying to figure out how to relate to him since my mom lost custody of him when he was fourteen. I’m assuming that one day we’ll just get it right, but I’d like that day to come sooner rather than later.
Other thoughts:
I’m a bad dog parent and Bailey may be my last dog for many years to come. I'll never get rid of him, but I think I'd be living downtown in a condo right now if I didn't have him. That said, he’s ten, happy, healthy, and continues to have 100 toys all over the house. And that said, I’m naming my next dog Rogue or Cupid Valentino…yea, as much as I think I will be without a dog one day, I don't think it's in my blood to be dog-less.
I think I am about 75% success and 25% failure on my Resolutions for 2010. Notably, I continue to suck at spending time with my friends who have kids (when the kids are present), I don't go to bed before midnite most nights, and I still overanalyze the hell out of everything.
And, I got this quote from someone I really don't know, but, I think it is worth noting: "People who can't see a good thing in front of them when they have it are useless." Well said stranger, well said.
And finally, I really did make an itinerary for my spring and summer. It's insane...I mean, out of control, but typical me and it's all a ton of fun stuff. I will officially announce now though: I will probably NEVER come to your candle, jewelry, handbag, or Pampered Chef Party. If I want something, I'll order it straight up from you. Weddings...yes, b'days...98.3% of the time, grand openings of stuff you're proud of...of course, and memorial services for those you love... absolutely. But, considering I rarely say no, I figured I had to put the ban out somewhere.
And with that, some songs: Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart by Alicia Keys, Half of My Heart by that scumbag John Mayer, You and Me by DMB, Stop for a Minute by Keane, Over by Drake, Kandi by One Eskimo, Quality Control by Jurassic 5, Shining Down by Lupe Fiasco, annnnd Dracula's Wedding by Outkast & Kelis. Yea, some of those are from a guy I used to date who had fabulous taste in music and was brave enough to dance around his house to hip hop music in front of me. The good thing about so-so relationships is quite possibly the awesome music you get out of them before it all goes bust...or at least I will try to think about it that way.
Innertubing the rivers is just around the corner everyone. Start blowing yours up now so we are on time this year.
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