Sitting On a Bridge, Contemplating the Unknown...

I started this on my phone Sunday evening while waiting to get over a bridge to my parents’ house for dinner. Sat in my idling car a while as the boats passed through, and here is what I managed to scribble down in that time, with a little more added…

If I knew exactly what my life will look like three years from now, would I be living it differently or just keep going with the grand adventure? I’m applying for and interviewing for new jobs, rejoined the world of caring about what the opposite sex thinks of me, and am being as active as I can to avoid going stir crazy. I am at the point again where I want to know all the answers to what my ‘near future’ life will look like. “Patience is a virtue and I want it now!” This quote keeps ringing in my ears.

This said, maybe the excitement should remain in the unknowing: Will I get my dream job? Leave the state (both agency and actual rainy Oregon) prior to deciding that I’m settling down? Could Bailey help raise a new puppy prior to his death (still a few years away at least), or will he retire to my parents? Will I finally win the lottery, fall upon a huge inheritance, or sell all my stuff so that I can go do full time philanthropy work and stalk the super hot TOM’s Shoes founder (whose name is Blake, not Tom)?

Actually, I just read through a lot of my blog over this past week and realized…I’ve asked many of these questions before, always to end up landing on my feet with new awesome additions, twists, and turns.

I guess not knowing isn’t so bad, and probably a good thing for me at the moment…for all of us, for that matter. If we knew exactly what tomorrow looked like, we would possibly get apathetic, less passionate about what we want, and a little bit entitled...

Oh, up until quite recently, I probably confused the shit out of any guy who tried to compete for my attention against the fall to spring on and off other half. I apologize for that, and have to some of them already. Many caught on, seem to have forgiven my sporadic-ness, and forged on with the idea of friendship. I’m still about 25% jaded at the moment, but, it shall pass. And on that note…when it comes to the opposite sex, listen to your damn friends…they are typically 95% right, 12% wrong, 47% going to trash him and say, “you’re too hot for him,” or “he’s a douche,” and “umm, I’m available if you want a boyfriend now,” AND 35% are just going to say, “Go for it and I will be here on the other side when you crash and burn from that disaster.” Thanks to all my friends who offered me many variations of the mentioned support forms… ya all are the best.

And with that, please remember that I fearlessly hit ‘POST’ after writing all this (and for the past six years) to remind anyone else out there having the same exact thoughts that you’re not the only one. Life is a trip…we stand, fail, cry, smile, love, succeed. Enjoy life with every ounce of your heart, minimal fear, and no regrets while you still have it. May hurt a little more, but it may bring bigger rewards as well...

And Aly and Taryn approved this message...