This is the kind of post that may have pissed off my ex-boyfriend. So, don’t read it if you don’t want to delve into my life right now. He always wanted me to erase the majority of this blog, filter what I wrote. Then again, he also tried to make me get rid of my dog Bailey AND my best friend of the opposite sex, so obviously, something wasn’t right there.
This past year has been interesting for me. I think it’s been somewhat of an ‘unfiltered’ year for me. I didn’t have much of a voice before I headed back out here from Ohio, so when I finally figured out that it was mine again, that I didn’t have to walk on eggshells or see a counselor more than twice to figure out that “what was wrong with you was purely situational” (her words), my voice kind of went buck wild…
There‘s a John Mayer song that says, “It‘s better to say too much, then never to say what you need to say again.” So, that’s what I’ve done this year. I’ve gone out on limbs left and right. I’ve pissed people off, including blood relatives, enlightened others. I’ve apologized to some, been stubborn too. Maybe that’s not always a good thing, but I’ve gained a lot from it. Probably lost a little as well, but it’s a learning curve I think, and I’m sure I will stop unloading every opinion and feeling I have about ’everything’ on people sometime soon. But I have to admit, it’s been nice being able to do it, have my opinion be heard, even if I have had to kick myself after the fact at times.
And maybe right here is where I will quit writing, put the filter back on, and shut up instead of getting deeper into it.
Let me add that if you are any of the people who have been here for me this year, just know that I’ve greatly appreciated you. The calls and advice before and after coming back from Ohio, the new friendships that have unfolded and the old ones that have gotten stronger, the relationships I’ve already learned from (good and not so good), the family that is always there on Sundays, and even the comments on Facebook and MySpace. I’ve been told by many that they love me no matter what, and I’ve honestly felt that this year.
Wait, from my soapbox, I’ll say…be grateful for all the good that people in your life do for you…we spend so much time focused on ourselves that it’s hard to remember sometimes that you’re the product of more than your own will…
I for one am still getting raised by my village, absolutely.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Don't Ever Be 'That Guy'
So, Saturday evening started off like any other summer weekend night in Portland...with plans for a busy funfilled night. My buddy Ryan and I had been planning to meet up sometime over the weekend, so I called him up to see if he wanted to come along to some get togethers I was invited to. "Sure, but can 'That Guy' come?" I agreed because Ryan's pretty cool, and he said I had met 'That Guy' before, and would recognize him when I saw him again.
So, let's preface...'That Guy' is what I will refer to 'That Guy' as the entire post, because though he has a name, he was truly only earning of the name 'That Guy' for the antics we ended up having to put up with on Saturday. Hmm, maybe 'TG' would be even easier. And keep in mind, Sarah is the sober designated driver to get togethers that both happen to be in Gresham, which is quite far from downtown, so I am stuck with whatever happens, all night.
I pick up my friend Jon and then head downtown to get Ryan and TG. I drop Jon off at Whole Foods because he hasn't eaten all day and I think he may kill someone soon, and then I go to pick up Ryan and TG. When they walk out, I do recognize TG and think, okay, I know him, he's decent...stares a little too long at people, but decent.
TG tries to get in the front seat and I tell him it's reserved for Jon who is a lot taller than him. No problem, climbs in back...and then I notice...the open beer can! "Oh hell no," I say, "What are you doing? Get that out of my car!" TG actually argues until I say, "Then get out," and then opens the door and sets the beer can on the ground right outside my back passenger door. "No, get out and throw that out, don't leave it in the street!" TG complies. I forgive this antic because I think they've been out for a while already, and, it's just one stupid thing right? Oh, wait.
Remarkably, the first get together goes fine. TG wanders off, eats some food, plays some beer pong with the drinkers, watches part of the UFC fight, is quiet. When it's time to move onto the next one, he grabs his coat and quietly gets in the car. None of my old college friends wanted to kill him. Good deal.
Then in the car, he starts up. He climbs in the front seat because Jon stays at the first get together. Only inches away now, TG starts talking, a lot. Questions include, "What do you like to do," and then,"So, are you single?" after he finds out what I like to do. "Dude, hello, not interested," I reply.
On to party two. We get out of the car and TG jumps on Ryan's back, shouting and demanding a piggy back ride. Are you kidding me? Then, he gets off Ryan's back and says "Now you!" to Ryan, who jumps on his back. What the hell is this?! We make it into the housewarming party and TG manages to spill red wine on the carpet within ten minutes of arrival, even after I told him, "Dude, quit swaying your cup of RED WINE back and forth...you're gonna spill it." The host of the party luckily has some amazing carpet cleaner and the red wine is out in minutes.
Ryan's had a bad cold all day and quietly moves about from a spot in the garage to chill out and watch the band, to a chair by the fire, to the couch in the living room. Nice work Ryan. Meanwhile, here is the list of everything else that TG managed to do, in no particular order...
1) Steals mike when the lead singer is taking a break, two or three times, and sings songs
2) Falls over and hits head on the bar
3) Disappears around the corner of the garage leaning over, clearly throwing up...then completely denies it
4) Starts touching everyone, male and female...keeps walking by me and touches my side every time, so I find all my good guy friends and hang on them
5) Starts getting referred to as 'business casual guy' and 'the guy who is creeping everyone out'
And here, is my absolute favorite...
6) Bonds with some other 'That Guy' at the party. All of us outside hear loud yelling and laughter through the kitchen window. We look over and see TG and other 'That Guy' standing over the sink, high fiving, hitting one another, and mashing together raw cookie dough and peanut butter M&M's with their bare hands. They managed to find a cookie sheet, heat up the oven, and BAKE SOME COOKIES! All the while, slamming into one another like the UFC fight we'd just watched at the other party. Am I seriously watching this?
Okaaaaay, this is out of control, time to go I decide. 'That Guy' and TG are extremely sad to part and hug quite a few times until I finally say, "Dude, you can totally stay here," meanwhile thinking, 'Dude, please totally stay here so I don't have to take you with me.'
Back to the other get together to pick up Jon. On the way, TG somehow scores the front seat again and decides that I look tense. "You need a neck rub," he says as he starts rubbing my neck. "No, I'm fine," I reply. But he keeps at it, demanding that he's so great at neck rubs and I really need one, until I finally yell, "Dude, DO NOT touch me!" He stops, looks me in the eye with a frown and says, "Aww, you're ruining my game girl!" I reply, "What game? No one is interested in you!"
Wait, we're not done. We get back to the first house and head in. It's super quiet, clearly winding down, but TG hits the back porch and manages to find more alcohol. Beer bottle isn't a twisty top, so TG decides to use the edge of the Ping Pong table to open it. Ping Pong table slams up and down, TG falls six feet backward. Another, "What the hell?" is directed his way by me. Thank God my friend who owns the house didn't see it because he'd probably pick him up and fling him across his yard. We need to go, now.
I round up all three boys, but of course, TG finds a skateboard on the steep driveway and decides to ride it down, tripping over a garden hose, hitting cars along the way. "Get off that ****ing skateboard," I yell. He doesn't. I yell again. He does. I yell to put it back. He puts it behind the wheel of a car. I yell to put it back on the porch. The idiot actually listens. I haven't yelled this much in months.
Okay, we're in the car. Safe and on the way home. Then, I hear a crash. Another "What the hell?!" from me, a "What?" from TG. He'd managed to bring a beer bottle in the car and was tossing it out the window. I'm livid, and then, he does it AGAIN! I almost pull over and kick his ass out, but we are far from downtown and it's too late for public transit. I warn him he is on his deathbed and to not move or he walks. He starts trying to give Jon, who's in the front seat, a neck rub. I tell him to stop. He listens. He gets on his phone and starts shopping for another party. We pull up in front of Ryan's condo and TG offers to bring us all up to a new party of the 12th floor. No thanks, I'm ready to embrace some silence!
The next day I get two texts from Ryan..."Thanks for putting up with us last night" and..."That Guy" apologizes for being a dumbass by the way...I owe you..."
Ryan, you have no idea!
So, let's preface...'That Guy' is what I will refer to 'That Guy' as the entire post, because though he has a name, he was truly only earning of the name 'That Guy' for the antics we ended up having to put up with on Saturday. Hmm, maybe 'TG' would be even easier. And keep in mind, Sarah is the sober designated driver to get togethers that both happen to be in Gresham, which is quite far from downtown, so I am stuck with whatever happens, all night.
I pick up my friend Jon and then head downtown to get Ryan and TG. I drop Jon off at Whole Foods because he hasn't eaten all day and I think he may kill someone soon, and then I go to pick up Ryan and TG. When they walk out, I do recognize TG and think, okay, I know him, he's decent...stares a little too long at people, but decent.
TG tries to get in the front seat and I tell him it's reserved for Jon who is a lot taller than him. No problem, climbs in back...and then I notice...the open beer can! "Oh hell no," I say, "What are you doing? Get that out of my car!" TG actually argues until I say, "Then get out," and then opens the door and sets the beer can on the ground right outside my back passenger door. "No, get out and throw that out, don't leave it in the street!" TG complies. I forgive this antic because I think they've been out for a while already, and, it's just one stupid thing right? Oh, wait.
Remarkably, the first get together goes fine. TG wanders off, eats some food, plays some beer pong with the drinkers, watches part of the UFC fight, is quiet. When it's time to move onto the next one, he grabs his coat and quietly gets in the car. None of my old college friends wanted to kill him. Good deal.
Then in the car, he starts up. He climbs in the front seat because Jon stays at the first get together. Only inches away now, TG starts talking, a lot. Questions include, "What do you like to do," and then,"So, are you single?" after he finds out what I like to do. "Dude, hello, not interested," I reply.
On to party two. We get out of the car and TG jumps on Ryan's back, shouting and demanding a piggy back ride. Are you kidding me? Then, he gets off Ryan's back and says "Now you!" to Ryan, who jumps on his back. What the hell is this?! We make it into the housewarming party and TG manages to spill red wine on the carpet within ten minutes of arrival, even after I told him, "Dude, quit swaying your cup of RED WINE back and forth...you're gonna spill it." The host of the party luckily has some amazing carpet cleaner and the red wine is out in minutes.
Ryan's had a bad cold all day and quietly moves about from a spot in the garage to chill out and watch the band, to a chair by the fire, to the couch in the living room. Nice work Ryan. Meanwhile, here is the list of everything else that TG managed to do, in no particular order...
1) Steals mike when the lead singer is taking a break, two or three times, and sings songs
2) Falls over and hits head on the bar
3) Disappears around the corner of the garage leaning over, clearly throwing up...then completely denies it
4) Starts touching everyone, male and female...keeps walking by me and touches my side every time, so I find all my good guy friends and hang on them
5) Starts getting referred to as 'business casual guy' and 'the guy who is creeping everyone out'
And here, is my absolute favorite...
6) Bonds with some other 'That Guy' at the party. All of us outside hear loud yelling and laughter through the kitchen window. We look over and see TG and other 'That Guy' standing over the sink, high fiving, hitting one another, and mashing together raw cookie dough and peanut butter M&M's with their bare hands. They managed to find a cookie sheet, heat up the oven, and BAKE SOME COOKIES! All the while, slamming into one another like the UFC fight we'd just watched at the other party. Am I seriously watching this?
Okaaaaay, this is out of control, time to go I decide. 'That Guy' and TG are extremely sad to part and hug quite a few times until I finally say, "Dude, you can totally stay here," meanwhile thinking, 'Dude, please totally stay here so I don't have to take you with me.'
Back to the other get together to pick up Jon. On the way, TG somehow scores the front seat again and decides that I look tense. "You need a neck rub," he says as he starts rubbing my neck. "No, I'm fine," I reply. But he keeps at it, demanding that he's so great at neck rubs and I really need one, until I finally yell, "Dude, DO NOT touch me!" He stops, looks me in the eye with a frown and says, "Aww, you're ruining my game girl!" I reply, "What game? No one is interested in you!"
Wait, we're not done. We get back to the first house and head in. It's super quiet, clearly winding down, but TG hits the back porch and manages to find more alcohol. Beer bottle isn't a twisty top, so TG decides to use the edge of the Ping Pong table to open it. Ping Pong table slams up and down, TG falls six feet backward. Another, "What the hell?" is directed his way by me. Thank God my friend who owns the house didn't see it because he'd probably pick him up and fling him across his yard. We need to go, now.
I round up all three boys, but of course, TG finds a skateboard on the steep driveway and decides to ride it down, tripping over a garden hose, hitting cars along the way. "Get off that ****ing skateboard," I yell. He doesn't. I yell again. He does. I yell to put it back. He puts it behind the wheel of a car. I yell to put it back on the porch. The idiot actually listens. I haven't yelled this much in months.
Okay, we're in the car. Safe and on the way home. Then, I hear a crash. Another "What the hell?!" from me, a "What?" from TG. He'd managed to bring a beer bottle in the car and was tossing it out the window. I'm livid, and then, he does it AGAIN! I almost pull over and kick his ass out, but we are far from downtown and it's too late for public transit. I warn him he is on his deathbed and to not move or he walks. He starts trying to give Jon, who's in the front seat, a neck rub. I tell him to stop. He listens. He gets on his phone and starts shopping for another party. We pull up in front of Ryan's condo and TG offers to bring us all up to a new party of the 12th floor. No thanks, I'm ready to embrace some silence!
The next day I get two texts from Ryan..."Thanks for putting up with us last night" and..."That Guy" apologizes for being a dumbass by the way...I owe you..."
Ryan, you have no idea!
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Inside, Really?
Well, I'm waiting for it to get cooler outside so I can take Bailey on a walk. Figured I would write some new lines while I wait, because, as I learned a couple weeks ago, floating the river this late at night is a ridiculously freezing experience.
Taylor, so perfect: The new niece is still a load of sleeping fun (that's all she really does right now). I hosted a family event on Sunday to get pictures of everyone with her...there were over 20 people. I love the chaos that comes with being a part of a big extended family...especially because I grew up in a really small one. At one point, there were little kids running through my house SCREAMING chasing my brother in law...it sounded like thunder. Anyway, I just love it and feel grateful to be a part of it all.
Chew, then talk: Failing for a successful segue way...I'll just jump into this: I've decided my new pet peeve is people in commercials who eat and talk at the same time. Cereal companies, one of my favorite things in the world, tend to be particularly drawn to this. So, stop it already...chew your cereal, or wings from KFC, or fattening desserts AND THEN talk. I've known people in real life who do this too, so if you are one of them, feel free to take note too.
Portland summers: I forgot how great they are. Having missed one last year, I am pretty happy to be back enjoying all there is to do on the weekends and every night of the week. This city never runs out of cool events and restaurants. A couple new faves are Eastburn and, ahh, the next one is a secret, sorry.
Pay attention to actions: It was all over the news, but Randy Pausch, who wrote The Last Lecture died a couple weeks ago from pancreatic cancer. I still have Diane Sawyer's interview with him saved on my DVR from months ago. If you have time, go to the website and watch the speech or find the interview and watch it. His message is pretty simple, but I was still inspired by him.
La Musica for your ears: Notice by Gomez, Golden Age by Beck, All Alone by Gorillaz, Burn by Nine Inch Nails. Maybe it's just that it is summer, but I'm also partial to rap with big beats and inappropriate lyrics right now. So, go listen to Last Call by Big Boi, on Speakerboxx...and then just don't tell your mom or spouse I told you to. I listen to it for the beat and bass, not the lyrics, I swear. And like Michael Bolton in Office Space, I usually listen to it with my windows rolled up. All the way up.
Night.
Taylor, so perfect: The new niece is still a load of sleeping fun (that's all she really does right now). I hosted a family event on Sunday to get pictures of everyone with her...there were over 20 people. I love the chaos that comes with being a part of a big extended family...especially because I grew up in a really small one. At one point, there were little kids running through my house SCREAMING chasing my brother in law...it sounded like thunder. Anyway, I just love it and feel grateful to be a part of it all.
Chew, then talk: Failing for a successful segue way...I'll just jump into this: I've decided my new pet peeve is people in commercials who eat and talk at the same time. Cereal companies, one of my favorite things in the world, tend to be particularly drawn to this. So, stop it already...chew your cereal, or wings from KFC, or fattening desserts AND THEN talk. I've known people in real life who do this too, so if you are one of them, feel free to take note too.
Portland summers: I forgot how great they are. Having missed one last year, I am pretty happy to be back enjoying all there is to do on the weekends and every night of the week. This city never runs out of cool events and restaurants. A couple new faves are Eastburn and, ahh, the next one is a secret, sorry.
Pay attention to actions: It was all over the news, but Randy Pausch, who wrote The Last Lecture died a couple weeks ago from pancreatic cancer. I still have Diane Sawyer's interview with him saved on my DVR from months ago. If you have time, go to the website and watch the speech or find the interview and watch it. His message is pretty simple, but I was still inspired by him.
La Musica for your ears: Notice by Gomez, Golden Age by Beck, All Alone by Gorillaz, Burn by Nine Inch Nails. Maybe it's just that it is summer, but I'm also partial to rap with big beats and inappropriate lyrics right now. So, go listen to Last Call by Big Boi, on Speakerboxx...and then just don't tell your mom or spouse I told you to. I listen to it for the beat and bass, not the lyrics, I swear. And like Michael Bolton in Office Space, I usually listen to it with my windows rolled up. All the way up.
Night.
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