I don't like the sound of children singing. Call me a cold and heartless person, but unless they are in a prestigious choir or they are a cute little button of a three year old trying to eke out The Itsy Bitsy Spider, I simply tune them out.
I can trace my disdain all the way back to elementary school music class. When it wasn't 'instrument day,' I would sit on the bleachers with the other kids and literally SUFFER through the sound of us all singing together. I always hated participating in holiday music festivals. I never owned a kid music tape or record (except for the Alvin and the Chipmunk records…but those were chipmunks singing, not kids).
And so we have the release of Kidz Bop 12, a horrific compilation of mega hit covers sang by tone deaf tweens and untalented adult leads. It debuted at number seven on the Billboard Charts this week selling 71,000 copies.
I did some iTunes research and backtracked through the Kidz Bop years. It appears that no song released after 2001 is safe from a kid friendly butchering…Snow Patrol, Rascal Flatts, Gnarls Barkley…if they've had a top twenty hit, chances are that an assault has been made on their musical integrity.
What do I really think is so wrong with kids singing top hit tunes that mostly suck anyway? Well, besides the REALLY terrible singing, let's look at the song selections…What Goes Around…Comes Around by Justin Timberlake. Seriously?! It's a song purely about infidelity and revenge! I don't think I knew many shady 12 year old hookers who was wronging the boys in my day. Ditto on Beautiful Liar…not that I even know who sings the real version of that useless garbage, but it sucks. They also attempt a hardcore 'rock out' (and hardly angry) version of Never Again by Kelly Clarkson. I had no idea that tweens were so head strong about love and loss! But wait, in addition to being 'angry' they can also be so 'sad' too, evidenced as they emotionally convey it off tune in their rendition of Boston by Augustana. And of course, they can all "stand under my umbrella, ella, ella" too. Didn't that song just come out like two months ago?
I guess I should really give some credit to my mother for protecting me from the shitty kids music trend. She managed to instill a true sense of musical appreciation in me. At a young age, our mom was making us compilations of Harry Chapin, Fleetwood Mac, and Led Zeppelin to stick in our tape players. We watched movies with great soundtracks like The Big Chill and Footloose (I saw it three time in the movie theater when I was five years old) and had a shelf full of great musicals. We decorated the Christmas tree every year while watching Billy Joel videos or collections of videos she'd record off of MTV. She'd go to concerts and come back and tell us all about them and then play the music for us (which wasn't always good…I don't know if I will ever listen to another Billy Squire or Journey song in my life because they got deathly overplayed in my house). And of course, I had THREE posters of Billy Idol on my wall in the second grade and a t-shirt that I sported to school every chance I got. My sister still has a killer collection of records (yes, records...we're getting old here) that she got from our mom.
So, here's my thought...If you want your kids to grow up with a true appreciation for music, let them listen to the real thing. Saturate them with all different genres. Rarely turn on the radio. Their (and your) reward? The singers will be in tune, the instruments won't be synthesized, and best of all, there won't be a bunch of obnoxious kids singing you the chorus.
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7 comments:
The Kidz Bop thing. I can't really say anything more than you've said, but man alive. Ugh. Good post.
Funny stuff. You know though, they market it so well, that's the problem. Cedar wants them! WTF He goes to the website and plays the videos. And this is not a kid being brought up without music I think the commercials just seduce the kids. Cedar always says, "that kid's cool" about various singers. Plus he already likes the whole High School Musical scene. Thankfully he also likes good music -- and LOVES the Alvin records.
not much difrent than the Hansens, Brady Bunch, Cowsills and Partridge Family of my day.....and a lot of those albums that mom had were either mine or a direct influence of me. By the way I still have over a thousand RECORDS.
I agree, kids have no business singing about passion, revenge, depression, anger, infidelity, etc. Kidz Bob is an atrocitiy I have never been able to understand or appreciate. I have to ask, how do they get the rights to cover these tunes? Isn't it up to the artist to allow this? Muscisians need to stand up and against this crap. Sadly, in order to get record deals, they probably have to consent...it's all about the effin' green stuff. My child listens to a variety of tunes from Indigo Girls to Bowling for Soup, Snow Patrol to Metallica and she loves it all! She dances like you wouldn't believe a one year old could dance!
I have to disagree about the radio however. Radio is an American institution that brought Rock 'n Roll to our ears and hearts and I believe we need to support it and keep it alive. I am not talking about the crappy morning talk or satellite radio. I am talking about real free radio shows that bring new music to our living rooms and keeps us informed about the good stuff coming out every Tuesday. So in the case of Portland, I am talking about KNRK, KINK and...OK that about covers it! I can't afford to buy every good new disc that comes out or to down load every tune I would love to hear on my iPod, but thanks to radio, I don't have to. Yes, there are crappy commercials, some songs are overplayed and there are a LOT of shitty stations that play shitty "music", but I think as consumers of one of Gods greatest gifts (music) we can be picky about where we put the dial and help our kids grow up with our same appreciation and love and maybe just maybe we can raise a generation of true music conisuers, then life will be good and Kidz Bop free.
Marni
I have to agree Marni...Kink and KNRK are damn good channels...they embrace different genres and 'smaller' singers and bands. So, I stand corrected in my generalization...don't expose your kids to SOME music channels. And of course, I am proud that Ozilline appreciates all music. She is named from an Indigo Girls song after all.
Jennifer...I guess if Cedar wants kidz bop, you can't say no. And I hear High School Musical being described as the "Grease" for this generation.
Dad...I may have to check out those records sometimes because I have seen them in your living room. I love the sound of records.
And Benny, thanks for commenting. Your little guy is young enough to go either way, so I hope that he despises the Bop influence on his generation.
Of course...if a kid wants to listen to this stuff, I guess they should get to. I suppose there is a level of education for a child to listen to other kids singing. It's just so painful to the ears though.
Marc, you said, "a lot of those albums that mom had were either mine or a direct influence of me." Which I knew but of course the younger more ADHD daughter forgot. Was the Buckingham & Nicks album yours -- that's my favorite. Also sis, I actually own quite a few of my own albums I'm not entirely a sponge.
Also Marni makes an excellent point. Although, Cedar already prefers albums to the radio. But I bet he won't later -- yikes the teen years.
PS Sis all this traffic, doesn't it make you want to be a better blogger and post more often :D Come on...
You know, I just realized something though. I used to sing all about LSD and sex after I saw Hair and Casey Jones was (sadly) my favorite dead song as a kid but I turned out ok. The "bad" lyrics of this generation aren't so much different from ours.
Billy sang some questionable stuff; And how about that Headbangers Ball.
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