Work has been a little hectic lately. Like most everyone else, I have a pretty big caseload with several million things needing attention...I get to figure out where to place five sisters for a long time while their parents are in prison, how to get a parent or two to stick around and engage in services and just tell me the truth when I ask them a question, what to do with a kid who just does not seem to be able to keep it together, and how to 'get' to a girl who is almost 18 and starting to date abusive and negative men.
The work I do often reminds me not to take my own life for granted. True, I grew up in some crappy situations with my own mother, but I always had a roof over my head, my basic needs met, and an army of other adults who showed me that they would always be there for me, no matter what. I keep pictures of them around my house to remind me that I didn't get to where I am on my own...I had a lot of amazing support. The kids and families I work with often end up on our caseloads because of a cycle that they were not able to escape from because there were no outside supports. Two of my cases have been in the system generationally for quite some time. It frustrates me to no end.
In reality, I can only work with my families, get them services, and hope they change. For myself, I personally feel that I made a committment early on in my life to never let the cycle I grew up in continue on when I have kids...and once again, this is probably easier for me to do because I had amazing people help to raise me. My own children will always be safe, loved, happy, and healthy. I know that...there just shouldn't be any other way. I'm looking forward to it.
So, what is my point tonight? I guess that I just hope you keep your ears and eyes open to the children around you. Not to sound cheesy, but they are the future. And they will only grow up empowered if we give them that chance. For that matter, pay attention to parents too. Parenting can be a tough job and a lot of my clients tend to be doing it all on their own, which results in a lot of rough times.
That's all. Someone told me once, "I'm so fortunate aren't I?" When I replied, "Yes, you are fortunate," he replied, "No, I'm not fortunate...I did this all on my own." But, no one does anything all on their own. Someone fed you when you were little, taught you to ride a bike, helped you to solve your first problem, whatever that was. Failing to recognize the people in your life who make you stronger is an error. So, make sure you let your heroes know who they are, all the time.
Song of the moment...See the World by Gomez. It is a great one.
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How do you cope with the hopelessness of people who can't or won't (or don't see the need) to change? I have had to watch an abusive father/son relationship for 25 years and now the son has grown up to abuse his own children. The abuse is emotional in public and, I suspect, physical in private. Child welfare agencies investigated and were unable to find evidence so it has gone on. Strangely, I like the father - I imagine he was raised the same way and thinks it's normal. He and the son are trying to raise their kids to be good, responsible people but don't seem to know how. Anyway, keep up the good work.
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