Two by Two

It’s late, I’ve been out all day, and I should be sleeping, but, I can’t sleep…or I don’t want to. I’ll figure that part out later.

So, there’s been a lot on my mind lately…superficial things like whether or not to buy a new car, what kind of cute clothes I want to buy for my Vegas trip, what color pen I’d prefer to balance my checkbook with, why I have completely justified wearing a heart shaped ring from Tiffany that an ex gave me as an ‘empowering ring‘ now…but then, there’s the other stuff, that maybe I shouldn’t write about, but come on…this is me…and now this is just a run on sentence.

Anyway, I was out with friends tonight playing pool. One of them has had absolute crap happen to him recently and it just seems unfair. That’s as far as I will go because, while I have feelings about it and want to ‘fix‘ the situation for him, it’s not my business to share his struggles with you, and only time and lots of support is going to improve what he‘s going through. So, onto me…at the pool hall, a song came on, and I sang along to it. It reminded me of being at a bowling alley slow dancing with a really cute ten month old baby. I didn’t like it…not the song, or the feeling in that moment…I loved that moment actually…but just remembering it and having feelings about it…and missing it.

I know what I want, how I want my life, what I have done thus far to succeed in getting to where I am. I’m proud that my boss recently called me a ’shining star’ and assigned me to some special committee that only two of us from my building got assigned to. I love that I have amazing friends and a family that I’d rather spend most of my time with, and that my dad thinks not seeing him for eight days is ’too long’ and that my step mom simply refers to me now as ’my daughter,’ no ‘step’ included. Honestly though, I’m not particularly content at the moment, and I am not sure how to fix that. But I know it surrounds the other half and all those pieces we are supposed to fulfill by a certain age. I like the whole idea of going on two by two in this world, but, yeah, not sure where to go at this point with that ideal.

I’m also wondering why Bailey will lie down somewhere but not move his toys first…even if it’s his favorite spot…he’ll just mold himself around where the toys have fallen.

And really, I should be going to bed now, so, that’s all.