Saturday, April 25, 2009

Lessons From Vegas...

Las Vegas is awesome. There was a point in my life when I would not have said this, and it had something to do with having to be there for a wedding that ended up getting annulled three weeks later and spending too much time in the gambling areas of casinos.

But now, I love the place. Last year, a few friends literally forced me into buying a ticket to go with them on a big trip with several people. I teetered for weeks, remembering that I hated that place...the smoke, the stupidity, the little porno cards that they flick at you on every corner. But, (cue the violin of 'wah wah wah') I was in a crappy place in my life, and definitely needed to get out of town and forget about things for a while. And that is exactly what ended up happening...I went, I danced, I (sorry responsible people in my family) drank more than normal...I had an awesome time.

Going for the Second Annual Vegas Birthday Bash this year was a no brainer...2008 was fantastic. And with 24+ people on board for 2009, we definitely managed to have a blast again.

Here's my advice on how to have fun in Vegas:

1) Go with a big group of people, but don't expect everyone to have to do everything together...you'll just get stressed out. Our group does a great job of planning multiple things to do that you can join in on, or not.

2) DO NOT pay admission to get into any club...no matter how awesome it is. One person in our crew scores a promoter every year, and then prearranges club options for when we arrive. We get in earlier, faster, and FREE...every time. We've been up close to Run and LL Cool J at Rain and Tao, danced our way through high admission clubs for free, been given free drink promotions, got the guys in at the same time as the girls (rare for some of the bigger clubs). PS...Leslie, you're a rockstar for getting this done the past two years.

3) Travel with a posse of very tall, muscular and good looking guys...they'll keep you safe from the skeezy nasty dudes trying to hit on you and buy you drinks, and you will always have a cute guy to dance with, because, well, they already love you. These ones also make excellent babysitters.

4) Don't travel with a posse of very tall, muscular, and good looking guys...they'll keep you far from all the hot dudes trying to hit on you and buy you drinks, and you won't get to dance with any cute strangers. For example...one night I approached some cute foreigners who immediately asked if one of our guys was my husband. I told them no, and I suddenly had free drinks in my hands for the rest of the night. Shh, don't tell my dad this...oh crap...you're reading this aren't you?!

5) That said...don't try to find a husband or wife in Vegas...don't disappear with a stranger around a corner...just look, accept free drinks, and then scurry off with your buddies to the next bar. I guess for some, this one makes no sense...but come on, don't do anything you may regret. Take it for what it is and have fun with the group you came with instead.

6) Believe your buddy when he escorts you to a cab and orders you home...go take a nap and get up in two hours and go back out again. Note on this...NEVER travel alone in Vegas...always have another person with you...even in cabs...I always had someone with me, and most of the time, a male...one of the tall, muscular, cute ones of course.

7) Sunscreen is good. Apply it correctly. Especially after you get out of the lazy river at your hotel pool. You think I would have learned from my kayaking trip two weeks before.

8) Flipflops are good, even with fancy dresses. There's no point to wearing fancy 4 inch heels when you'll just end up taking them off to walk barefoot on the filthy streets because your feet hurt so bad. BUT, boys and girls...remember to take NICE shoes/heels for the clubs, because flipflops and tennis shoes don't fly at most of them.

9) Eat food. Let me say that again...eat food!

10) If you're traveling with a significant other...think ahead and make sure you are actually getting along well enough to go together to a place where there are tons of beautiful people and lots of opportunities to get mad when people drink too much. Nuff' said.

11) Take advantage of the Limos and Party Busses. As cheesy as they may seem, it's usually cheaper than splitting people off into multiple cabs. Plus, they really are kind of fun.

12) Don't get talked into anything you don't want to do...glare at the porno card guys, ignore the Grand Canyon helicopter tour promoter, don't accept a drink if the dude freaks you out.

13) Gamble $1...each year, I've lost it in 10 seconds...plenty good for me.

14) Buy a lot of alcohol, mixers, and water at the CVS closest to your hotel room...drink before you go to the club that sells $12 baby shots of Jaeger. You'll save a grip of cash that you will be able to spend on replacing your wallet, ID, and/or cell phone when you lose it.

15) Remember that almost no one in Vegas is ever going to see you again...change your name, drink too much, laugh too loud, pretend to be from a foreign country, tell people you are a rocket scientist. I was Catherine, I was 'married' to some of my buddies if a weirdo approached me, I flirted shamelessly to get free drinks, I danced until my pedicure was history, I DID glare at the porno card flicking guys. It's the only time of year that I am completely comfortable being 'That Girl'...yes, that one...because in reality, I was safe, had a blast, and stuck with my friends the whole time.

Hmm, some songs of the moment...Vegas by Sara Bareilles will do. And I'm kind of overplaying Somewhere Only We Know by Keane right now too. Oh, maybe I should admit that I am going through a Rascal Flatts stage again also. The band at my church sing 'Stand' so I'm liking that one at the moment.

Oh, I no longer work on Fridays...life just got that much better.

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