I wear a ring on my right ring finger that was given to me by an incredibly terrible person. I am quite comfortable saying that he was ‘an incredibly terrible person’ because, well, he treated me like absolute crap and always tried to cry his way out of shit when I called him on it. Anyone who is pretty close to me knows the story of this man, and know that while he and I were together, I second guessed myself literally everyday…multiple times. He mentally beat me to the ground, and it took a Hell of a lot of amazing people to pick me back up once I came back to Oregon in 2007.
So, the ring…it is actually kind of a nuisance. It’s not completely sealed around my finger, so it gets caught on things like the rim of the washing machine, towels, doors…literally almost broke my finger once (or twice) because of it. I sold the bracelet and earrings that were also given to me with the ring, donated the necklace to a charity for kids with cancer. But, I just can’t part with this last little piece of silver.
I was on a boat one day with friends, and Benny looked down at my finger and asked, “Who gave you that Tiffany ring?“ I replied, “How‘d you know it was a Tiffany ring?” Apparently, he‘d bought his ex the same one. “I got it from an ex,” I said. “Well why the hell do you wear it then? I will swallow it right now if you let me!” I laughed and replied, “It reminds me everyday of who I am worth.” To this he said, “Well, when you find the right one, melt it into a piercing.” I responded, “No, I am going to throw it into the Goddamn ocean!”
So, I had a boyfriend a couple years ago who called it the “I hate men ring” because if I was mad at him I would wear it. In retrospect, that seemed a little bitchy, so now I just wear the thing all the time…literally never take it off. I mean, it’s better to have a constant reminder of the things I don’t want to put up with than a passive aggressive insult to the men I date. That one was actually a really nice guy, just didn’t have his shit together…and sadly, that is one of the things that I need…is for someone to have their shit together.
So, that’s the end of my story. I really don’t care to share more at this time. But to all my ladies, who put up with a lot of shit (well, and men too I guess). Take some time to really think about what you are worth in a relationship. Don’t put up with bullshit, don’t let someone take you for granted, don’t feel bad if you do exactly as you are asked or wished to do and then get flak for it. The person who deserves you will come along. They will allow you to be you, take you for who you are, not buckle under pressure, not care if you pour your heart out, not worry about fear. They will lift you up and not play games, they’ll be your biggest cheerleader on the crappiest of days. They’ll make you want to throw your reminder in the ocean for good, with no regrets. They’ll share their deepest darkest fears with you and relish in learning yours too. Find something that reminds you everyday that you are one Hell of an amazing person, worth everything that all your friends tell you that you are.
And with that, I am going running, because it has just been one of those days…
Monday, November 15, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Remembering We’re All Effing Beautiful, Including Me (aka, My Single Summer)
I’d like to preface this post by saying, there’s a good chance some of this will be met with disdain, some of it will sound hypocritical, and a bit of it will make my dad wish he could go ahead and ground me since he never had a chance to while I was growing up. But, I’m okay with that, because, well…if you know me, you know I’ve never had a problem being a shameless ass at times…
A couple months ago, I wrote a post titled We’re All Effing Beautiful. This summer has challenged my thoughts on this concept incessantly…and I really don’t like it. Don’t get me wrong…this is my first true single summer in eleven years, so it‘s been a different perspective for me to experience summer…
1) Through the eyes of a girl who people KNOW is single AND
2) Along with all those other crazy people who are also single (and some, just insanely out of control).
Yes, for 2010, I took KnowGood‘s advice (voluntarily and involuntarily to tell you the truth) and threw down a single girl summer. All in all, it’s been pretty fun despite me questioning what the Hell I’m doing about once every three days. There’s been free entry into clubs, free drinks, free everything along with my girls at Brew Fest after flashing doe eyes and flirting, a handful of fun days on party boats, prancing around with cute boys, way too many late nights, and a legion of other trouble better kept quiet since my father regularly reads this blog.
So, some thoughts:
The Runway Walk: I showed up for a fashion show of a friend’s friend recently, expecting to watch the show. The designer eyed me as I walked into the club, instantly grabbed my arm and dragged me toward a makeshift dressing room while shouting, “I need you for my show!!!” As she tossed dresses at me to try on, referring to me as a model, I mentioned, “Um, I’m not a model by the way,” to which she quickly responded, “No, yes, yes you ARE a model!” I was petrified. I quickly realized that girls in the room who looked like legit models were also petrified, nervous, and questioning if they had the guts to do this. After a shot and a drink to calm my nerves, some professional photos with the rest of the girls, and a walk down a long red carpet runway twice, I realized, “Damn, that was actually really fun.” And the compliments after were pretty great too.
The Boats: This summer included multiple texts from buddies and girlfriends to come out on party boats. The men always request to “bring as many cute girls as you can.” It’s irritating, but, they’re on a mission as much as the rest of us I suppose, and we oblige them. Then you get on the boats and watch the silicone bouncing, the cat fights ensue over ‘shared‘ boyfriends, and girls ditz about as if men think brains aren’t sexy…when most of the men, after their initial boob fixations wear off, tend to gravitate toward the women who can actually carry a conversation. One guy on a boat early in the season actually said, “Wow, you are really sharp,” after I used sarcasm to address something he’d said...perhaps not a typical ’dialect’ for some of the regulars? Not to say that some of the beauties and silicones on the boat aren’t smart, but, I saw many fine ladies act as stupid as they could this summer while boding for male attention. I actually pulled up the bikini bottom on a (literal) stripper whose ass was hanging out and said, “Keep those pulled up,“ to which she giggly replied, “But it’s supposed to look like that, hee hee hee hee,“ and then continued her stripper ‘ass hanging out’ dancing on the bough. Some of the guys mentioned that when I started drinking, I’d talk about the diminishing IQ points on the boat...yea, I had my moments too, but overall, I still like to stick with the idea that a mind is a terrible thing to waste, especially when you pretend you don’t have one for the sake of a boy who won‘t stop staring at your chest. There was a great day a couple weeks ago where there were only five of us girls on a boat with some guy friends…none of us had fake parts and all of us talked in full sentences. It…was…awesome.
The Clubs: I was in the bathroom at Couture about a month ago with two gorgeous girls who were wearing hooker shoes and too tight of dresses who were bitching about everything regarding their bodies. “Do my arms look too muscular in this dress?” “Does my butt look okay?” Multiple self loathing statements, all said with strong disdain. As I walked out of the bathroom, I turned to the girl who wasn’t in the stall and said, “You’re both beautiful, shut the fuck up,” and walked out. That, while maybe not appropriate to say, felt good.
The Sweeter Guys: Tuesday, I was on the boats with a bud, talking to him about the fact I feel I am a little behind the curve for the ‘boat cuteness quota’ at times…I said I’m on the sillier and more conversational side, pretty, but not nearly as gorgeous as some of the other female boat mates. He replied, “No, you’re very beautiful!” So, thanks Rob, because by the end of this summer, I had almost forgotten that. And by the end of that night, two of the other girls were in a screaming cat fight, nearly overboard, so, at least I wasn’t them.
And now, at the end of the summer, I’m still single, feeling like a tornado hit me, liver a little less strong, ego healthily reminded that I’m doing okay, and attitude slightly skewed with assumptions of entitlement. Was it a fun summer? Hell yeah. Do I want next summer to be like this? Maybe half as much. Will I figure out what works for me and not everyone else? God, I hope so.
All in all, I think I just won’t apologize. The past few months have been a good (and occasionally wild) eye opener for me, and excellent evidence that I know what I really want and how I want to be perceived by others...genuine inside and out, silicone free (not that it is always bad), completely okay being intelligent AND pretty, and ready to tone down the reality show lifestyle for next summer.
Season passes for the mountain go on sale September 1st. And college football starts in less than a week. Those two things alone may carry me through until next summer. And thanks to everyone who has contributed to my many adventures from May until now…I loved just about every minute of it.
A couple months ago, I wrote a post titled We’re All Effing Beautiful. This summer has challenged my thoughts on this concept incessantly…and I really don’t like it. Don’t get me wrong…this is my first true single summer in eleven years, so it‘s been a different perspective for me to experience summer…
1) Through the eyes of a girl who people KNOW is single AND
2) Along with all those other crazy people who are also single (and some, just insanely out of control).
Yes, for 2010, I took KnowGood‘s advice (voluntarily and involuntarily to tell you the truth) and threw down a single girl summer. All in all, it’s been pretty fun despite me questioning what the Hell I’m doing about once every three days. There’s been free entry into clubs, free drinks, free everything along with my girls at Brew Fest after flashing doe eyes and flirting, a handful of fun days on party boats, prancing around with cute boys, way too many late nights, and a legion of other trouble better kept quiet since my father regularly reads this blog.
So, some thoughts:
The Runway Walk: I showed up for a fashion show of a friend’s friend recently, expecting to watch the show. The designer eyed me as I walked into the club, instantly grabbed my arm and dragged me toward a makeshift dressing room while shouting, “I need you for my show!!!” As she tossed dresses at me to try on, referring to me as a model, I mentioned, “Um, I’m not a model by the way,” to which she quickly responded, “No, yes, yes you ARE a model!” I was petrified. I quickly realized that girls in the room who looked like legit models were also petrified, nervous, and questioning if they had the guts to do this. After a shot and a drink to calm my nerves, some professional photos with the rest of the girls, and a walk down a long red carpet runway twice, I realized, “Damn, that was actually really fun.” And the compliments after were pretty great too.
The Boats: This summer included multiple texts from buddies and girlfriends to come out on party boats. The men always request to “bring as many cute girls as you can.” It’s irritating, but, they’re on a mission as much as the rest of us I suppose, and we oblige them. Then you get on the boats and watch the silicone bouncing, the cat fights ensue over ‘shared‘ boyfriends, and girls ditz about as if men think brains aren’t sexy…when most of the men, after their initial boob fixations wear off, tend to gravitate toward the women who can actually carry a conversation. One guy on a boat early in the season actually said, “Wow, you are really sharp,” after I used sarcasm to address something he’d said...perhaps not a typical ’dialect’ for some of the regulars? Not to say that some of the beauties and silicones on the boat aren’t smart, but, I saw many fine ladies act as stupid as they could this summer while boding for male attention. I actually pulled up the bikini bottom on a (literal) stripper whose ass was hanging out and said, “Keep those pulled up,“ to which she giggly replied, “But it’s supposed to look like that, hee hee hee hee,“ and then continued her stripper ‘ass hanging out’ dancing on the bough. Some of the guys mentioned that when I started drinking, I’d talk about the diminishing IQ points on the boat...yea, I had my moments too, but overall, I still like to stick with the idea that a mind is a terrible thing to waste, especially when you pretend you don’t have one for the sake of a boy who won‘t stop staring at your chest. There was a great day a couple weeks ago where there were only five of us girls on a boat with some guy friends…none of us had fake parts and all of us talked in full sentences. It…was…awesome.
The Clubs: I was in the bathroom at Couture about a month ago with two gorgeous girls who were wearing hooker shoes and too tight of dresses who were bitching about everything regarding their bodies. “Do my arms look too muscular in this dress?” “Does my butt look okay?” Multiple self loathing statements, all said with strong disdain. As I walked out of the bathroom, I turned to the girl who wasn’t in the stall and said, “You’re both beautiful, shut the fuck up,” and walked out. That, while maybe not appropriate to say, felt good.
The Sweeter Guys: Tuesday, I was on the boats with a bud, talking to him about the fact I feel I am a little behind the curve for the ‘boat cuteness quota’ at times…I said I’m on the sillier and more conversational side, pretty, but not nearly as gorgeous as some of the other female boat mates. He replied, “No, you’re very beautiful!” So, thanks Rob, because by the end of this summer, I had almost forgotten that. And by the end of that night, two of the other girls were in a screaming cat fight, nearly overboard, so, at least I wasn’t them.
And now, at the end of the summer, I’m still single, feeling like a tornado hit me, liver a little less strong, ego healthily reminded that I’m doing okay, and attitude slightly skewed with assumptions of entitlement. Was it a fun summer? Hell yeah. Do I want next summer to be like this? Maybe half as much. Will I figure out what works for me and not everyone else? God, I hope so.
All in all, I think I just won’t apologize. The past few months have been a good (and occasionally wild) eye opener for me, and excellent evidence that I know what I really want and how I want to be perceived by others...genuine inside and out, silicone free (not that it is always bad), completely okay being intelligent AND pretty, and ready to tone down the reality show lifestyle for next summer.
Season passes for the mountain go on sale September 1st. And college football starts in less than a week. Those two things alone may carry me through until next summer. And thanks to everyone who has contributed to my many adventures from May until now…I loved just about every minute of it.
Sunday, August 08, 2010
Finding 4 Things, Scary Movies, & Singing My Way Through It All...
To start, I’ll apologize for the blog post delay to my regularly reading father. I know it’s been over a month. I had one written up, but it just wasn’t what I wanted to project or talk about by the time I hit send, so, it got scrapped. And with that, here’s what’s on my mind…
I think we should constantly re-evaluate our lives and figure out where we are going while remembering what and where we came from. Some need to find their God, some need to find new jobs, some need to chill the hell out and stop going out all the time, some need to just kiss the right stranger. I may need to do all four, in no particular order…and maybe I already did some of them…maybe I’m still working on it…but I am home on a Saturday night writing this, so, that’s a start I suppose.
The work I do for my job is currently burning me out again. I'm tired of reading about bipolar addict mothers, siblings who barely know one another, and kids being abused to the point of permanent physical, mental, and emotional damage. I’m always forthcoming with the stories from my own early life, but, honestly, a lot of times, I don’t want to read about the same BS happening to other families. It’s the reason I do the work I do though…to hopefully help end the cycle for other families…and I will probably be fine once the referrals for kids slow down again. But it’s digging things up regardless.
My sister just found this scary, scary movie that we saw part of when we were on a visit to Boise as little kids. I always remembered it a little differently. And that said, the clip of the ‘masked scary ass person’ on ice is still a little terrifying. I’ll let you be the judge though…here it is. Honestly, this is just as freaky to me as it was when I was eight. Then again, I thought that Candyman was terrifying until my friend in college said he sounded like Barry White.
And on that subject, my sister and I used to act out every musical known to man. I never got to be the main character, and often got stuck being the boy too. Talk about a mean big sister. My most regular roles were 'Molly' in Annie and one of the Pink Ladies in Grease and Grease II (but never Sandy or Stephanie, oh noooo...Jennifer always scored those). Anyway, if people ever wonder why I break out into song all the time, it's most likely the direct effect of singing our way through childhood. Life is usually better when you're tone deaf and singing anyway.
Oh, and I had the first person ever unfriend me on Facebook because of political views. The issue surrounding gay marriage, but moreso, my opinion that the judicial system needed to get whacked for the sake of overturning a ruling on gay marriage. This was the comment that got me not only cut, but terrorized by angry texts (ok, those were about my views on the mosque in NY too actually) and also called a pseudo intellectual hack:
Well, if the line in the ground of rights and government control is gone...I will happily support its demise for this case...and Elton John can bite me. He's one of a million gay men...if he wants to disagree with this, more power to him......he is not the God of gay men and women afterall. I think back to the days when interracial marriages were illegal in MANY states. Thank God those laws were overturned...what if they weren't? It'd be ridiculous! And, while I recognize you don't care if same sex marriages occur (glad we agree on that), I will say that I hope anyone who does disagree with same sex marriage will look back in 40 years and realize how ridiculous their judgment was...this needed to happen...whoop de doo if it ruffled a few controls.
And with that, I'll say, I guess sometimes it's okay to let people you have nothing in common with anymore go, even if you've known them 17 years. I've seen him bully people, including his own wife, for a long time now, and it's always pissed me off.
I tend to get frustrated when people's arguments are simply based on religion, being a conservative, or laced with expletives calling other people names. If you want to debate, back it up...nothing like a baseless opinion to get a slam right back at you. I think I have said this before, but just because you align with one political party or one religious denomination does not mean you have to be a closeminded person about everything FOX News or The Bible doesn't agree with. Constantly question and educate yourself on everything.
And here is what I am singing in my car right now: Fader by The Temper Trap, There Goes My Life by Kenny Chesney, and Love the Way You Lie By Eminem. Once loathed, Mr. Mathers is starting to get some appreciation from me again. At least for now.
I think we should constantly re-evaluate our lives and figure out where we are going while remembering what and where we came from. Some need to find their God, some need to find new jobs, some need to chill the hell out and stop going out all the time, some need to just kiss the right stranger. I may need to do all four, in no particular order…and maybe I already did some of them…maybe I’m still working on it…but I am home on a Saturday night writing this, so, that’s a start I suppose.
The work I do for my job is currently burning me out again. I'm tired of reading about bipolar addict mothers, siblings who barely know one another, and kids being abused to the point of permanent physical, mental, and emotional damage. I’m always forthcoming with the stories from my own early life, but, honestly, a lot of times, I don’t want to read about the same BS happening to other families. It’s the reason I do the work I do though…to hopefully help end the cycle for other families…and I will probably be fine once the referrals for kids slow down again. But it’s digging things up regardless.
My sister just found this scary, scary movie that we saw part of when we were on a visit to Boise as little kids. I always remembered it a little differently. And that said, the clip of the ‘masked scary ass person’ on ice is still a little terrifying. I’ll let you be the judge though…here it is. Honestly, this is just as freaky to me as it was when I was eight. Then again, I thought that Candyman was terrifying until my friend in college said he sounded like Barry White.
And on that subject, my sister and I used to act out every musical known to man. I never got to be the main character, and often got stuck being the boy too. Talk about a mean big sister. My most regular roles were 'Molly' in Annie and one of the Pink Ladies in Grease and Grease II (but never Sandy or Stephanie, oh noooo...Jennifer always scored those). Anyway, if people ever wonder why I break out into song all the time, it's most likely the direct effect of singing our way through childhood. Life is usually better when you're tone deaf and singing anyway.
Oh, and I had the first person ever unfriend me on Facebook because of political views. The issue surrounding gay marriage, but moreso, my opinion that the judicial system needed to get whacked for the sake of overturning a ruling on gay marriage. This was the comment that got me not only cut, but terrorized by angry texts (ok, those were about my views on the mosque in NY too actually) and also called a pseudo intellectual hack:
Well, if the line in the ground of rights and government control is gone...I will happily support its demise for this case...and Elton John can bite me. He's one of a million gay men...if he wants to disagree with this, more power to him......he is not the God of gay men and women afterall. I think back to the days when interracial marriages were illegal in MANY states. Thank God those laws were overturned...what if they weren't? It'd be ridiculous! And, while I recognize you don't care if same sex marriages occur (glad we agree on that), I will say that I hope anyone who does disagree with same sex marriage will look back in 40 years and realize how ridiculous their judgment was...this needed to happen...whoop de doo if it ruffled a few controls.
And with that, I'll say, I guess sometimes it's okay to let people you have nothing in common with anymore go, even if you've known them 17 years. I've seen him bully people, including his own wife, for a long time now, and it's always pissed me off.
I tend to get frustrated when people's arguments are simply based on religion, being a conservative, or laced with expletives calling other people names. If you want to debate, back it up...nothing like a baseless opinion to get a slam right back at you. I think I have said this before, but just because you align with one political party or one religious denomination does not mean you have to be a closeminded person about everything FOX News or The Bible doesn't agree with. Constantly question and educate yourself on everything.
And here is what I am singing in my car right now: Fader by The Temper Trap, There Goes My Life by Kenny Chesney, and Love the Way You Lie By Eminem. Once loathed, Mr. Mathers is starting to get some appreciation from me again. At least for now.
Monday, June 28, 2010
We’re All Effing Beautiful…
So, years ago I wrote an insanely long paper for school about beauty in the US…how models used to be size eights, but at the time (in 1996) had shrunk to a size two. At the time, I was a muscular size ten and pissed. Now I AM a skinny size 4, and still pissed. Why are we still so stuck on these ideas that women all need to be the same mold of beauty, and men for that matter?
Granted, in the dating world, you have to be attracted to anyone you may want to date…so let’s look past that for now shall we and just focus on some other thoughts…for me, I’m looking for ‘perfect for me’…not perfect for the world…which means, their insides better damn well be loving and caring as all hell. Which may explain why I was completely comfortable spending five plus years of my life with a guy who was only 5’7”…and anyone who knows who I am speaking of may like to know that he continues to be beautiful, is married with a lovely little daughter and runs a Domestic Violence Shelter in Moab, Utah.
Why is it that every time Queen Latifah gets interviewed they wax on about her big beautiful body. Why can’t we let that go and just agree that she is a beautiful person inside and out, big not included?
I just know I have met some drop dead gorgeous women and men in my life who were the ugliest assholes on the inside. It made the perfect smile seem evil, the pretty eyes seem manipulative, the muscular arms an excuse for them to be controlling and bullying to others.
Case in point. One of my best guys loves to go to Henry’s to ogle the girls. Whenever we go, I challenge him to talk to them, go say hi, buy them a drink. He never does. He mentions that they snub him when he smiles at them, seem really uptight, or seem above everybody else in the bar. Granted, some of these chicks are gorgeous inside and out too, but he’s figured out the girls at Blitz Ladd seem more smiley, down to earth, less concerned with pounds of makeup, etc, etc…but he still won’t talk to them, but that’s a different story.
And, as I write this, I just returned from the gym because I want to be in awesome shape (ok, and it makes me feel better, but it's definitely vanity driven as well), I wear makeup most days and LOVE makeup actually. I buy $150 jeans to make my ass look cuter. Damn right I will get as adorable as I can for First Thursday this week. So honestly, I just feed into the problem I suppose…and maybe that makes me a hypocrite…but shit, at least I feel like I am beautiful…almost all the time…regardless of what anyone else thinks.
I guess my point is that you should never assume that you aren’t beautiful. Because I’m sure you are and you just don’t know it. Embrace parts of you that are unconventional to society's eye. And if you’re beautiful on the inside too, well, that one slightly imperfect tooth, that graying hair, that bridge of your nose that annoys the piss out of you, or the feet you think are slightly too big, the chest you think is too small, the ears that seem too imperfect… well, they’re are probably quite endearing to friends, lovers, and even your family...and make you all the more beautiful. I mean, the more I get to know certain people, the more I love certain features about them…mostly because they are simply amazing people.
Just a thought…I’ll stop rambling now and offer up some songs: I Run to You by Lady Antebellum, You and Me by DMB, and listen to the band Stars. Saw them recently in concert and was literally floored.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
In Order to Balance Out My Optimism…
I will complain for a few lines about all that is bothering me…
The Gore separation: Unlike the Speidi separation which I could give a flying f**k about, the Gores calling it quits rattles me. I thought they had as good a shot as Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. It reminds me of a conversation I had with a seven year old kid when I worked at a party store during high school and college. She was looking at cake toppers and pointed to one with a silver ‘25’ on top and asked what it was for. I told her that was for when people have been married 25 years. She looked at me, sighed, and said, “But people don’t stay married that long anymore!“ I was stunned. I am from a family with parents on both ends of the spectrum…a mother who has been married and divorced five times AND a father who has been happily remarried for 27 years. Think I plan to take after my father…and Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward…they were a fairytale.
The oil spill: As much as I like to stay up on current events, I can’t even read the articles on this without wanting to cry. Actually, my bleeding heart is reacting to everything I read in Time Magazine lately too. Some days, I feel like I need to quit my job, sell my stuff, and just go help people. I know my actual paying job is to help people everyday, but, sometimes, being an American feels really, REALLY selfish. I’m working on how to handle this without giving up my livelihood. I’ll let you know what I come up with. It may include finding a few more volunteer projects to partake in…I could use some, so give me a few good ideas.
Rain: Need I say more? My label as being the ‘solar powered girl’ feels so true right now. Saturday’s sun created a crazy Sarah monster of wildness. Then, back to being a slug the past few days. I’m going crazy!!!
Me jumping to conclusions: The first thing I think when wives disappear is that their husbands had something to do with it. The first thing I think when kids disappear is that their parents had something to do with it. My industry gets me jaded at times. God, I know there are more kids missing out there than Kyron right now, and I really hope more of them are found.
Ok, no more negatives. But, as promised, I mentioned something in the last post and said people would know results either way. So, “it” died. The gel isn’t there at the moment. So for now, we move on…
Let’s end with some happiness and a lesson, shall we…
Amazing friends: Robin calls me at least every few weeks to tell me she loves and misses me and to make sure I’m ok. She’s been doing this since we were 12, and I love her for it. I called my friend Nick this afternoon and the first thing he said to me was, “I’ve missed that voice.” He’s a relatively new friend in all reality, but he’s one who just always knows what to say and cares about everyone who crosses his path…he’s already given me loads of good advice. Jamey pointed to me on Friday night and announced to a small crowd that I saved his life during the six months after his girlfriend died. It floored me, and I think I actually got tears in my eyes. David boldly told me on Saturday night, “Damn Sarah, when you are not interested in talking to someone, you can be such a bitch!!!” I so appreciate every moment of the last few years that he has just bravely told me I am a pain in the ass at times.
The lesson…constantly reevaluate what ‘friendship’ means to you. Don’t hold onto shitty friends, don't only spend time with the friends who stroke your egos...schedule time and listen hard to the ones who tell you the truth. And of course, try to remind the really good ones (new and old) who stick with you through everything that you love them. Superficiality is a waste of your time.
And since I can’t really think of any songs this month, here is what I am looking forward to this summer…
Staying out too late on work nights, the family trip, the wedding of C + T, kayaking, inner tubing, hitting balls on the driving range at sundown, beer festivals, First Thursdays, excuses to find a designated driver and act like an idiot OR BE the designated driver and make fun of all the other people acting like idiots, random concerts, trips to the beach, and heavy rotation of my flip flops and tank tops. BUT topping the list is the arrival of my next nephew, Baby Boy Perry in July. He’s going to be amazing.
Thank God it's almost really summer!
The Gore separation: Unlike the Speidi separation which I could give a flying f**k about, the Gores calling it quits rattles me. I thought they had as good a shot as Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. It reminds me of a conversation I had with a seven year old kid when I worked at a party store during high school and college. She was looking at cake toppers and pointed to one with a silver ‘25’ on top and asked what it was for. I told her that was for when people have been married 25 years. She looked at me, sighed, and said, “But people don’t stay married that long anymore!“ I was stunned. I am from a family with parents on both ends of the spectrum…a mother who has been married and divorced five times AND a father who has been happily remarried for 27 years. Think I plan to take after my father…and Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward…they were a fairytale.
The oil spill: As much as I like to stay up on current events, I can’t even read the articles on this without wanting to cry. Actually, my bleeding heart is reacting to everything I read in Time Magazine lately too. Some days, I feel like I need to quit my job, sell my stuff, and just go help people. I know my actual paying job is to help people everyday, but, sometimes, being an American feels really, REALLY selfish. I’m working on how to handle this without giving up my livelihood. I’ll let you know what I come up with. It may include finding a few more volunteer projects to partake in…I could use some, so give me a few good ideas.
Rain: Need I say more? My label as being the ‘solar powered girl’ feels so true right now. Saturday’s sun created a crazy Sarah monster of wildness. Then, back to being a slug the past few days. I’m going crazy!!!
Me jumping to conclusions: The first thing I think when wives disappear is that their husbands had something to do with it. The first thing I think when kids disappear is that their parents had something to do with it. My industry gets me jaded at times. God, I know there are more kids missing out there than Kyron right now, and I really hope more of them are found.
Ok, no more negatives. But, as promised, I mentioned something in the last post and said people would know results either way. So, “it” died. The gel isn’t there at the moment. So for now, we move on…
Let’s end with some happiness and a lesson, shall we…
Amazing friends: Robin calls me at least every few weeks to tell me she loves and misses me and to make sure I’m ok. She’s been doing this since we were 12, and I love her for it. I called my friend Nick this afternoon and the first thing he said to me was, “I’ve missed that voice.” He’s a relatively new friend in all reality, but he’s one who just always knows what to say and cares about everyone who crosses his path…he’s already given me loads of good advice. Jamey pointed to me on Friday night and announced to a small crowd that I saved his life during the six months after his girlfriend died. It floored me, and I think I actually got tears in my eyes. David boldly told me on Saturday night, “Damn Sarah, when you are not interested in talking to someone, you can be such a bitch!!!” I so appreciate every moment of the last few years that he has just bravely told me I am a pain in the ass at times.
The lesson…constantly reevaluate what ‘friendship’ means to you. Don’t hold onto shitty friends, don't only spend time with the friends who stroke your egos...schedule time and listen hard to the ones who tell you the truth. And of course, try to remind the really good ones (new and old) who stick with you through everything that you love them. Superficiality is a waste of your time.
And since I can’t really think of any songs this month, here is what I am looking forward to this summer…
Staying out too late on work nights, the family trip, the wedding of C + T, kayaking, inner tubing, hitting balls on the driving range at sundown, beer festivals, First Thursdays, excuses to find a designated driver and act like an idiot OR BE the designated driver and make fun of all the other people acting like idiots, random concerts, trips to the beach, and heavy rotation of my flip flops and tank tops. BUT topping the list is the arrival of my next nephew, Baby Boy Perry in July. He’s going to be amazing.
Thank God it's almost really summer!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sleep Deprived Thoughts From a Plane Above the Middle of America...
I wrote this on my flight from New York to Vegas this morning...one I got up for at 1:00 am Pacific Standard Time to catch. Thought about erasing it, but in true Sarah form, I wrote it for a reason, so...
On my way back from an awesome trip to New York. I've been gone from home for five short days, but the combination of flights, trains and subways, walking, and relaxing on restaurant fronts with drinks has given me plenty more time to do what I do best...think.
Days one and two were spent overthinking and stressing. Finally by the third day, I hit vacation mode and was actually enjoying myself...I'd given up worrying about the wedding I'm in on Thursday, the engagement party I'm throwing Saturday, and the guy I've known for two months who confusingly reciprocates my bids for affirmation and proves in little ways that we may just have a shot. For the first time in a while, texts from a guy make me giddy (even if it's something pithy like 'I just hurt my leg running, boo :('...) and seeing his face makes me light up. And for once, a best bud likes him...says he'd be good for me. Like Bright Eyes says...I feel like I'm waiting to win the lottery with this one...and for me, that's freaky. But my heart is sticking with him (because, to tell you the truth, my heart hasn't given me the choice yet to bail)...until it gels or until it dies...you'll know the outcome either way.
One thing I've decided while on this trip is that I'm modifying my June roadtrip. I'm going to Ashland, Angels Camp, LA, and then heading back home. I've got other things I want to do. I want some downtime at home. I want to be a better bridesmaid for Clarence and Tami than I have been for my brother and Christi. I'm not ready to roll back through Utah yet. Not sure why.
Otherwise, I'm wondering if lucky and fortunate go hand in hand. The butterfly effect of everything good in my life mesmerizes me at times. I'm not sure how people can bitch and moan constantly about small things. We create what we assume we will create. Negativity just breeds more of it. Positivity makes a domino effect of pretty much anything good you want, within reason. I've been living my life fearlessly and shamelessly for a while now. I'm sure I've looked like an ass at times, and I definitely haven't gotten everything I wanted. But, come on now...why wouldn't you just want to live like you're dying and do all the exciting things that come your way and fight til the end for everything you want, whether that be love, better perks at work, more faithful friendships, more honesty with everyone?
It seems to work alright for me. And I'm sticking with it.
Songs...I like the new Usher CD. Yea, I said it. And I'm seriously thinking The Script deserve all the attention they're getting. I'd listen if I were you.
On my way back from an awesome trip to New York. I've been gone from home for five short days, but the combination of flights, trains and subways, walking, and relaxing on restaurant fronts with drinks has given me plenty more time to do what I do best...think.
Days one and two were spent overthinking and stressing. Finally by the third day, I hit vacation mode and was actually enjoying myself...I'd given up worrying about the wedding I'm in on Thursday, the engagement party I'm throwing Saturday, and the guy I've known for two months who confusingly reciprocates my bids for affirmation and proves in little ways that we may just have a shot. For the first time in a while, texts from a guy make me giddy (even if it's something pithy like 'I just hurt my leg running, boo :('...) and seeing his face makes me light up. And for once, a best bud likes him...says he'd be good for me. Like Bright Eyes says...I feel like I'm waiting to win the lottery with this one...and for me, that's freaky. But my heart is sticking with him (because, to tell you the truth, my heart hasn't given me the choice yet to bail)...until it gels or until it dies...you'll know the outcome either way.
One thing I've decided while on this trip is that I'm modifying my June roadtrip. I'm going to Ashland, Angels Camp, LA, and then heading back home. I've got other things I want to do. I want some downtime at home. I want to be a better bridesmaid for Clarence and Tami than I have been for my brother and Christi. I'm not ready to roll back through Utah yet. Not sure why.
Otherwise, I'm wondering if lucky and fortunate go hand in hand. The butterfly effect of everything good in my life mesmerizes me at times. I'm not sure how people can bitch and moan constantly about small things. We create what we assume we will create. Negativity just breeds more of it. Positivity makes a domino effect of pretty much anything good you want, within reason. I've been living my life fearlessly and shamelessly for a while now. I'm sure I've looked like an ass at times, and I definitely haven't gotten everything I wanted. But, come on now...why wouldn't you just want to live like you're dying and do all the exciting things that come your way and fight til the end for everything you want, whether that be love, better perks at work, more faithful friendships, more honesty with everyone?
It seems to work alright for me. And I'm sticking with it.
Songs...I like the new Usher CD. Yea, I said it. And I'm seriously thinking The Script deserve all the attention they're getting. I'd listen if I were you.
Monday, April 26, 2010
I Need To Go To Seaside, And Other Sarah Thoughts…
Staring over the top of my laptop, watching the Blazers lose. This is not good. Maybe I should write something.
I just booked a trip to New York with my buddy Ryan. He had leftover round trip tickets via frequent flier miles, he knows I have the most flexible schedule in the world, and, we don‘t appear to have the ability to kill one another…so lucky me, I get a free roundtrip ticket. We are flying into Long Island, taking only backpacks and storming the city for five days, trying to see as much as we can while we are there. I did an eleven day, five city tour of Spain once with just a carry-on, so I think I will be able to swing it. Any ideas on what to do and see while we are there would be greatly appreciated. This trip should break up my mind while I am waiting for my three weeks off at the end of June to go on my 2500 mile, five state roadtrip through OR, CA, NV, UT, and ID. That time is much needed, and let me explain in more detail…
Despite my rosy persona, I am a little discontent lately. Don’t get me wrong…I love my life, my friends, my family, all that stuff I regurgitate post after post…but obviously, I should constantly refocus and look at where I am in life, right? Sooo, I was sitting in my room the other morning, thinking about all the obligations I had to fulfill that day, realizing that all I really wanted to do was throw Bailey in the car and drive to Seaside. I didn‘t, but maybe I should have.
So let’s talk relationships shall we? I rarely do, so this is your peek into this side of me. I occasionally think that whoever ends up being the other half in my life is going to just have to mold to the happy chaos that is my everyday…events, obligations, friends, family. But in all honesty, I want to get selfish and just hole up with someone and forget about everyone for a while and figure out how life works with that person, then ease all of the chaos from both our lives together, sloooowly. Eh, just a thought.
I just know I’d be looking into my life as a guy thinking…where the Hell is she gonna fit me in?! Okay, I admit it…it was said to me OUTRIGHT a few months ago by someone who’d accumulated five months of on and off time with me…he had a good glimpse of me, and he was right (though I denied it)…I still spread myself too thin. I go back to a few years ago when my other half at the time asked me, “When was the last time you did something JUST for you?” I couldn’t come up with anything…at all. I spent several months after that revelation doing a lot more for myself…and loved it.
And at this moment, I think I need to adjust again…sometime soon perhaps. Lord knows I may change my mind tomorrow. But I like this idea. So don’t be offended if I disappear. I promise I will still be there for all the important stuff. But, maybe I will come out on the other side as my friend KnowGood has been ordering…coupled up sometime in the next few months (well, he said May is my deadline actually, but, I think I should get some grace weeks).
Meh, how about some songs from my Shazam list (so, things that sound good to my ears on first contact) and some that I just tend to love: Smile by Uncle Kracker, Promises by The Morning Benders, Felicia by Constellations, Help I’m Alive by Metric, Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg, I Might Be Crying by Tanita Tikaram. I'm bringing back Chaiyya Chaiyya too...by A.R. Rahman.
And yes, this is one of those posts I just had to write…and the Blazers just lost…boooooo. And with that, I am hitting the publish button...
I just booked a trip to New York with my buddy Ryan. He had leftover round trip tickets via frequent flier miles, he knows I have the most flexible schedule in the world, and, we don‘t appear to have the ability to kill one another…so lucky me, I get a free roundtrip ticket. We are flying into Long Island, taking only backpacks and storming the city for five days, trying to see as much as we can while we are there. I did an eleven day, five city tour of Spain once with just a carry-on, so I think I will be able to swing it. Any ideas on what to do and see while we are there would be greatly appreciated. This trip should break up my mind while I am waiting for my three weeks off at the end of June to go on my 2500 mile, five state roadtrip through OR, CA, NV, UT, and ID. That time is much needed, and let me explain in more detail…
Despite my rosy persona, I am a little discontent lately. Don’t get me wrong…I love my life, my friends, my family, all that stuff I regurgitate post after post…but obviously, I should constantly refocus and look at where I am in life, right? Sooo, I was sitting in my room the other morning, thinking about all the obligations I had to fulfill that day, realizing that all I really wanted to do was throw Bailey in the car and drive to Seaside. I didn‘t, but maybe I should have.
So let’s talk relationships shall we? I rarely do, so this is your peek into this side of me. I occasionally think that whoever ends up being the other half in my life is going to just have to mold to the happy chaos that is my everyday…events, obligations, friends, family. But in all honesty, I want to get selfish and just hole up with someone and forget about everyone for a while and figure out how life works with that person, then ease all of the chaos from both our lives together, sloooowly. Eh, just a thought.
I just know I’d be looking into my life as a guy thinking…where the Hell is she gonna fit me in?! Okay, I admit it…it was said to me OUTRIGHT a few months ago by someone who’d accumulated five months of on and off time with me…he had a good glimpse of me, and he was right (though I denied it)…I still spread myself too thin. I go back to a few years ago when my other half at the time asked me, “When was the last time you did something JUST for you?” I couldn’t come up with anything…at all. I spent several months after that revelation doing a lot more for myself…and loved it.
And at this moment, I think I need to adjust again…sometime soon perhaps. Lord knows I may change my mind tomorrow. But I like this idea. So don’t be offended if I disappear. I promise I will still be there for all the important stuff. But, maybe I will come out on the other side as my friend KnowGood has been ordering…coupled up sometime in the next few months (well, he said May is my deadline actually, but, I think I should get some grace weeks).
Meh, how about some songs from my Shazam list (so, things that sound good to my ears on first contact) and some that I just tend to love: Smile by Uncle Kracker, Promises by The Morning Benders, Felicia by Constellations, Help I’m Alive by Metric, Falling In Love At A Coffee Shop by Landon Pigg, I Might Be Crying by Tanita Tikaram. I'm bringing back Chaiyya Chaiyya too...by A.R. Rahman.
And yes, this is one of those posts I just had to write…and the Blazers just lost…boooooo. And with that, I am hitting the publish button...
Monday, April 12, 2010
What Are You Doing? Sitting In the Sun. I Knew It!
I haven’t mentioned that dialogue between Wes and I from 2006 for the year yet, but most days when I’m sitting in the sun (like right now), I think of it and laugh. And with that, I give you many moments of reflection…
Today was spent at a memorial service for a close friend‘s dad. The idea of burying our parents just seems too soon, and in this case, it was for sure. It was nice to see how loved a person could be though and also wonderful to know that the man truly just lived life to the fullest, the way he wanted to, surrounded by love and laughter, until his dying day. I mean, the entire staff of a restaurant he frequently visited showed up to bid him farewell…pretty amazing.
I saw my oldest younger brother this morning by chance. He’s one of the loves of my life, but like something of a bad boyfriend who never returns your calls or remembers to call you on your birthday. He’s always shown his love in his own way though, and referred to me as ‘sis’ and hugged me before scampering along with a buddy. He recently had a kid and when I went to visit, whispered to his 2 week old son, “Look, your whole family is here right now.” I’ve been trying to figure out how to relate to him since my mom lost custody of him when he was fourteen. I’m assuming that one day we’ll just get it right, but I’d like that day to come sooner rather than later.
Other thoughts:
I’m a bad dog parent and Bailey may be my last dog for many years to come. I'll never get rid of him, but I think I'd be living downtown in a condo right now if I didn't have him. That said, he’s ten, happy, healthy, and continues to have 100 toys all over the house. And that said, I’m naming my next dog Rogue or Cupid Valentino…yea, as much as I think I will be without a dog one day, I don't think it's in my blood to be dog-less.
I think I am about 75% success and 25% failure on my Resolutions for 2010. Notably, I continue to suck at spending time with my friends who have kids (when the kids are present), I don't go to bed before midnite most nights, and I still overanalyze the hell out of everything.
And, I got this quote from someone I really don't know, but, I think it is worth noting: "People who can't see a good thing in front of them when they have it are useless." Well said stranger, well said.
And finally, I really did make an itinerary for my spring and summer. It's insane...I mean, out of control, but typical me and it's all a ton of fun stuff. I will officially announce now though: I will probably NEVER come to your candle, jewelry, handbag, or Pampered Chef Party. If I want something, I'll order it straight up from you. Weddings...yes, b'days...98.3% of the time, grand openings of stuff you're proud of...of course, and memorial services for those you love... absolutely. But, considering I rarely say no, I figured I had to put the ban out somewhere.
And with that, some songs: Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart by Alicia Keys, Half of My Heart by that scumbag John Mayer, You and Me by DMB, Stop for a Minute by Keane, Over by Drake, Kandi by One Eskimo, Quality Control by Jurassic 5, Shining Down by Lupe Fiasco, annnnd Dracula's Wedding by Outkast & Kelis. Yea, some of those are from a guy I used to date who had fabulous taste in music and was brave enough to dance around his house to hip hop music in front of me. The good thing about so-so relationships is quite possibly the awesome music you get out of them before it all goes bust...or at least I will try to think about it that way.
Innertubing the rivers is just around the corner everyone. Start blowing yours up now so we are on time this year.
Today was spent at a memorial service for a close friend‘s dad. The idea of burying our parents just seems too soon, and in this case, it was for sure. It was nice to see how loved a person could be though and also wonderful to know that the man truly just lived life to the fullest, the way he wanted to, surrounded by love and laughter, until his dying day. I mean, the entire staff of a restaurant he frequently visited showed up to bid him farewell…pretty amazing.
I saw my oldest younger brother this morning by chance. He’s one of the loves of my life, but like something of a bad boyfriend who never returns your calls or remembers to call you on your birthday. He’s always shown his love in his own way though, and referred to me as ‘sis’ and hugged me before scampering along with a buddy. He recently had a kid and when I went to visit, whispered to his 2 week old son, “Look, your whole family is here right now.” I’ve been trying to figure out how to relate to him since my mom lost custody of him when he was fourteen. I’m assuming that one day we’ll just get it right, but I’d like that day to come sooner rather than later.
Other thoughts:
I’m a bad dog parent and Bailey may be my last dog for many years to come. I'll never get rid of him, but I think I'd be living downtown in a condo right now if I didn't have him. That said, he’s ten, happy, healthy, and continues to have 100 toys all over the house. And that said, I’m naming my next dog Rogue or Cupid Valentino…yea, as much as I think I will be without a dog one day, I don't think it's in my blood to be dog-less.
I think I am about 75% success and 25% failure on my Resolutions for 2010. Notably, I continue to suck at spending time with my friends who have kids (when the kids are present), I don't go to bed before midnite most nights, and I still overanalyze the hell out of everything.
And, I got this quote from someone I really don't know, but, I think it is worth noting: "People who can't see a good thing in front of them when they have it are useless." Well said stranger, well said.
And finally, I really did make an itinerary for my spring and summer. It's insane...I mean, out of control, but typical me and it's all a ton of fun stuff. I will officially announce now though: I will probably NEVER come to your candle, jewelry, handbag, or Pampered Chef Party. If I want something, I'll order it straight up from you. Weddings...yes, b'days...98.3% of the time, grand openings of stuff you're proud of...of course, and memorial services for those you love... absolutely. But, considering I rarely say no, I figured I had to put the ban out somewhere.
And with that, some songs: Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart by Alicia Keys, Half of My Heart by that scumbag John Mayer, You and Me by DMB, Stop for a Minute by Keane, Over by Drake, Kandi by One Eskimo, Quality Control by Jurassic 5, Shining Down by Lupe Fiasco, annnnd Dracula's Wedding by Outkast & Kelis. Yea, some of those are from a guy I used to date who had fabulous taste in music and was brave enough to dance around his house to hip hop music in front of me. The good thing about so-so relationships is quite possibly the awesome music you get out of them before it all goes bust...or at least I will try to think about it that way.
Innertubing the rivers is just around the corner everyone. Start blowing yours up now so we are on time this year.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
A Post For Dad Because, Well, He Likes This Stuff...
Dear Dad, I don't have much to write tonight, so I figured I would write a post directly to you because you hate when I wait a month to write a new post to my blog...
You should really think about liking Lady Antebellum like the rest of the family. They are amazing. I still think it's funny that you, Scott, and I all bought Kings of Leon music in the same week. I am currently obsessed with them by the way. Everyone else reading this should listen to Revelry, Notion, Arizona, The Runner, and Knocked Up over and over just like me.
Speaking of Scott, can you believe he and Christi are getting married in less than two months now?! I'm pretty excited that I am in the wedding when you consider that about 7 years ago, I was just meeting my little brother for the first time.
And, speaking of marriage, you haven't asked me when I am getting married anytime recently. I'm proud of you! That said, I will continue to promise you grandkids sometime within this decade...which is easy since a new decade just started. Ha, I am just as funny as you.
I've been telling everyone I am going on my first bonafide family trip with you this summer. Nothing like getting the first big trip in with your dad at 32 years of age. I think it will be pretty fun, but just remember...I am driving my own car AND I have to leave for Los Angeles before all of you finish the trip. Seventeen hours in the big white van with you exclusively driving just doesn't appeal to me. Shhh, don't tell everyone else!
Ok Dad, here is my other news (even though I just talked to you three days ago): I haven't gone snowboarding again because my ribs took forever to heal, so you'll be happy to know I am still alive and probably only going to be able to go a few more times since I waited so long. That said, I am thinking of finding a way to create dangerous versions of golf or frisbee golf. I'll keep you posted.
That's all the news I have for you right now. Maybe I should tell you that you have been a pretty awesome dad for the seven years I have known you again...not sure what I'd do without you and the mirror image of me I see in you every time we hang out. I'm a lucky daughter, and I love you.
Love, your super amazing, smart, and beautiful daughter (all those things you tell me :))...Sarah
You should really think about liking Lady Antebellum like the rest of the family. They are amazing. I still think it's funny that you, Scott, and I all bought Kings of Leon music in the same week. I am currently obsessed with them by the way. Everyone else reading this should listen to Revelry, Notion, Arizona, The Runner, and Knocked Up over and over just like me.
Speaking of Scott, can you believe he and Christi are getting married in less than two months now?! I'm pretty excited that I am in the wedding when you consider that about 7 years ago, I was just meeting my little brother for the first time.
And, speaking of marriage, you haven't asked me when I am getting married anytime recently. I'm proud of you! That said, I will continue to promise you grandkids sometime within this decade...which is easy since a new decade just started. Ha, I am just as funny as you.
I've been telling everyone I am going on my first bonafide family trip with you this summer. Nothing like getting the first big trip in with your dad at 32 years of age. I think it will be pretty fun, but just remember...I am driving my own car AND I have to leave for Los Angeles before all of you finish the trip. Seventeen hours in the big white van with you exclusively driving just doesn't appeal to me. Shhh, don't tell everyone else!
Ok Dad, here is my other news (even though I just talked to you three days ago): I haven't gone snowboarding again because my ribs took forever to heal, so you'll be happy to know I am still alive and probably only going to be able to go a few more times since I waited so long. That said, I am thinking of finding a way to create dangerous versions of golf or frisbee golf. I'll keep you posted.
That's all the news I have for you right now. Maybe I should tell you that you have been a pretty awesome dad for the seven years I have known you again...not sure what I'd do without you and the mirror image of me I see in you every time we hang out. I'm a lucky daughter, and I love you.
Love, your super amazing, smart, and beautiful daughter (all those things you tell me :))...Sarah
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
2% Milk, Carcinogens, and The Unknown Meaning of Life...
Anniversaries of things I hated happening always peak my thinking moments. It's been an interesting couple of weeks, which included both myself and a best friend crying in Sunriver because the last time both of us were in the Bend/Sunriver area was with important people who have since died. Being overly sentimental and pairing that with a day of ‘too much fun’ is bound to dig up way too many emotions right? So, here is all I have for the moment…
My "Favorite Dad" died when he was 56. I was hanging out with Robin at her house one morning shortly after, and we opened the fridge to find 2% milk. To this, Robin replied something to the effect of, "My dad loved 2% milk. Guess he could have drank the 2% instead of the skim...wouldn't have made a difference."
Greg died when he was 19. We used to always rag on him about smoking, how bad it was for him, and how it would kill him early. To this he replied, "I have a feeling I am not going to live that long anyway." Much to our dismay, that was true, and had nothing to do with smoking.
My sister and some other friends are constantly reporting the cancerous levels of toxins in products we eat, use on our body, choose to use on a daily basis. Are those of us who don't use certain products going to live longer than others? I'm not sure. Do we even really control that when all is said and done and we are knocking on death's door?
So, the last couple weeks have really made me think about what I want, how I want my life, what I can and cannot justify. Not that I have many vices other than cereal, Diet Mountain Dew, and an occasional crazy night with a few too many drinks, but...which direction do you think we should go with our lives?
Personally, I want to live until I'm old...very old...not sure why, and maybe I will change my mind when I get to where 'old' is, but still...some people live wild and crazy lives well into their old age, others drop dead way too early after years of great health, and still others leave us way too early as a result of absolutely uncontrollable situations. Doesn't seem to make sense.
And maybe, once again, I'm just thinking too much at 2:00 in the afternoon.
Songs: I’m going old school with Fair by Ben Folds Five, and a newer song (to me at least) The Nosebleed Section by Hilltop Hoods.
We are almost to spring people...and I can finally almost sleep on both my sides again, so that means I get to try my snowboard out again soon...even though there doesn't seem to be much new snow.
My "Favorite Dad" died when he was 56. I was hanging out with Robin at her house one morning shortly after, and we opened the fridge to find 2% milk. To this, Robin replied something to the effect of, "My dad loved 2% milk. Guess he could have drank the 2% instead of the skim...wouldn't have made a difference."
Greg died when he was 19. We used to always rag on him about smoking, how bad it was for him, and how it would kill him early. To this he replied, "I have a feeling I am not going to live that long anyway." Much to our dismay, that was true, and had nothing to do with smoking.
My sister and some other friends are constantly reporting the cancerous levels of toxins in products we eat, use on our body, choose to use on a daily basis. Are those of us who don't use certain products going to live longer than others? I'm not sure. Do we even really control that when all is said and done and we are knocking on death's door?
So, the last couple weeks have really made me think about what I want, how I want my life, what I can and cannot justify. Not that I have many vices other than cereal, Diet Mountain Dew, and an occasional crazy night with a few too many drinks, but...which direction do you think we should go with our lives?
Personally, I want to live until I'm old...very old...not sure why, and maybe I will change my mind when I get to where 'old' is, but still...some people live wild and crazy lives well into their old age, others drop dead way too early after years of great health, and still others leave us way too early as a result of absolutely uncontrollable situations. Doesn't seem to make sense.
And maybe, once again, I'm just thinking too much at 2:00 in the afternoon.
Songs: I’m going old school with Fair by Ben Folds Five, and a newer song (to me at least) The Nosebleed Section by Hilltop Hoods.
We are almost to spring people...and I can finally almost sleep on both my sides again, so that means I get to try my snowboard out again soon...even though there doesn't seem to be much new snow.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Why You Shouldn’t Support the Group: Making Drug Tests Required to Get Welfare
The group ‘welcome sign’ reads: This is to help towards making it a requirement to get tested for drugs in order to receive welfare benefits. The economy is bad as it is, this is a great way to cut costs. No more crackheads living off our hard earned money.
The platform for this Facebook group is finally getting to me. Whoever created it used wording of such intelligence that I assume most of its supporters are in the same IQ range. I think people see it and make a snap decision that supporting this is a good idea. So, here’s some arguments for why it’s not…
Yes, some people abuse the system. Others do not (specifically the children of these parents). For example, I grew up in a household that utilized Section 8 Housing, welfare, and even food baskets. My mother drank all the time and used drugs (I remember the pipe that wasn't the kind for smoking weed, her cocaine infused boyfriends, and going with her to pick up bags of different colored pills as a kid actually)…but if she had not received benefits, my future may not be as pretty as it is right now. Her history in the system also probably helped to create a baseline when DHS had to get involved when we were teens.
Basically, the children of parents who use drugs need to eat and get services, and they can’t apply for welfare on their own. So, if you support this, you are essentially supporting child hunger and denial of services to children…something that would have made my life completely different than it is today.
Speaking of, which drugs are we talking about here? Maybe it’s because I grew up in a home with an alcoholic who did quite her fair share of damage, but I consider alcohol a pretty ridiculous drug in itself if used too often. Honestly, I could care less if people use certain drugs (such as marijuana) in moderation...I think they do a lot less damage than people drinking. And I’ve never smoked in my life, so don’t go thinking I am on some pedestal for marijuana smokers (though I do think it should be legalized).
The cost of administering drug tests to everyone who applies for welfare is HUGE! The state can barely afford to test all the people involved in the system as it is. Don't get me wrong, it needs to be a case by case basis and some do need to be drug tested and get services, but it's not that easy to just say drug test everyone.
Hmm, that may actually be all I have to say about this. I am sure some of my other social service friends can chime in and give you some other ideas of why you should rethink the groups you join on social networking sites.
And please note, based on the wording of the group 'welcome sign' it is easy to make the conclusion this group leader is not requesting people simply get drug tested, but that people be drug free to receive benefits. Otherwise, they would have chosen their wording a little more appropriately.
The platform for this Facebook group is finally getting to me. Whoever created it used wording of such intelligence that I assume most of its supporters are in the same IQ range. I think people see it and make a snap decision that supporting this is a good idea. So, here’s some arguments for why it’s not…
Yes, some people abuse the system. Others do not (specifically the children of these parents). For example, I grew up in a household that utilized Section 8 Housing, welfare, and even food baskets. My mother drank all the time and used drugs (I remember the pipe that wasn't the kind for smoking weed, her cocaine infused boyfriends, and going with her to pick up bags of different colored pills as a kid actually)…but if she had not received benefits, my future may not be as pretty as it is right now. Her history in the system also probably helped to create a baseline when DHS had to get involved when we were teens.
Basically, the children of parents who use drugs need to eat and get services, and they can’t apply for welfare on their own. So, if you support this, you are essentially supporting child hunger and denial of services to children…something that would have made my life completely different than it is today.
Speaking of, which drugs are we talking about here? Maybe it’s because I grew up in a home with an alcoholic who did quite her fair share of damage, but I consider alcohol a pretty ridiculous drug in itself if used too often. Honestly, I could care less if people use certain drugs (such as marijuana) in moderation...I think they do a lot less damage than people drinking. And I’ve never smoked in my life, so don’t go thinking I am on some pedestal for marijuana smokers (though I do think it should be legalized).
The cost of administering drug tests to everyone who applies for welfare is HUGE! The state can barely afford to test all the people involved in the system as it is. Don't get me wrong, it needs to be a case by case basis and some do need to be drug tested and get services, but it's not that easy to just say drug test everyone.
Hmm, that may actually be all I have to say about this. I am sure some of my other social service friends can chime in and give you some other ideas of why you should rethink the groups you join on social networking sites.
And please note, based on the wording of the group 'welcome sign' it is easy to make the conclusion this group leader is not requesting people simply get drug tested, but that people be drug free to receive benefits. Otherwise, they would have chosen their wording a little more appropriately.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Cocoa Pebbles Do This to Me...
All hail Conan, my new love for snowboarding, and summer being less than 5 months away. Now on with the show...
I’m liking this whole idea that murderers on death row should start donating all their organs to others when they need them. So pretty much, those criminals who have been proven guilty with 100% proof should be on call for when someone needs an organ they have. Sorry if I sound heartless, but, I just don’t get the whole ‘cold blooded killing for the hell of it’ idea.
On that note, I am really tired of hearing about shootings, abuse, murder, and Heidi Montag. I don’t know the answer to fix it, but come on, stop it already.
I still like Obama. I don’t give a flying f**k what you think. You try to take over the presidency after it was blasted to hell. It’s his first year as a young president and he isn't the only guy running the country right now. Give the guy a break.
Robin’s mom wants me to be the next Bachelorette. My buddy Joe says I have to settle down by May. All in due time my friends, all in due time. I promise I will avoid ending up on Tough Love (as previously stated in my last post). Did I ever mention that my ‘flower girl’ is a 36 year old man? Maybe I should speed up the process for his sake. And yes, I will probably have 27 bridesmaids to stay true to my ‘27 Dresses’ comparison. Don’t judge…I love too many of my girls to have to pick.
My very best guy friend Jonathan is leaving me again. Much how I like to have Robin within an hour of me even if I don’t see her all the time, he is the same way. So, we will see how I do when he is in New Zealand for a few years. I’m already planning the plane tickets to get there at least one or two times!
If you’re not watching Modern Family, you really need to start. Honestly, in a sea of lackluster and worthless television, the show is truly genius.
My roomies would like me to mention how cool they are. Done! Lisa is trying to fatten me up. Much to her dismay, I don’t seem to gain weight. Really, it's been a good two years here. Love it and will probably only leave when I get coupled off one day.
The best way to end a productive day of hiking (exercise) is to have corndogs, tater tots, and milkshakes. Just sayin…yep, that not ever gaining weight thing seems to work out pretty well for me. And I did go dancing after, so, I guess bad food was truly justifiable.
My mom infiltrated our little peaceful world again…this time with absolutely random stuff and some letters that were terribly inappropriate to give to your children, but at the same time, gave me more justification to my dad being the good guy. So, there that is.
Songs (!!!): Never Be Ready by Mat Kearney, Obsessed by Mariah Carey (sorry, it grew on me), and Electric Feel by MGMT. Oh, and if anyone wants to go to Rogue Wave with me on April 9th, I already bought an extra ticket. My usual concert buddy will be in New Zealand by then (damn you Ph. D seeking Jon)…so I will need a replacement for all future concerts for the next few years!
I’m liking this whole idea that murderers on death row should start donating all their organs to others when they need them. So pretty much, those criminals who have been proven guilty with 100% proof should be on call for when someone needs an organ they have. Sorry if I sound heartless, but, I just don’t get the whole ‘cold blooded killing for the hell of it’ idea.
On that note, I am really tired of hearing about shootings, abuse, murder, and Heidi Montag. I don’t know the answer to fix it, but come on, stop it already.
I still like Obama. I don’t give a flying f**k what you think. You try to take over the presidency after it was blasted to hell. It’s his first year as a young president and he isn't the only guy running the country right now. Give the guy a break.
Robin’s mom wants me to be the next Bachelorette. My buddy Joe says I have to settle down by May. All in due time my friends, all in due time. I promise I will avoid ending up on Tough Love (as previously stated in my last post). Did I ever mention that my ‘flower girl’ is a 36 year old man? Maybe I should speed up the process for his sake. And yes, I will probably have 27 bridesmaids to stay true to my ‘27 Dresses’ comparison. Don’t judge…I love too many of my girls to have to pick.
My very best guy friend Jonathan is leaving me again. Much how I like to have Robin within an hour of me even if I don’t see her all the time, he is the same way. So, we will see how I do when he is in New Zealand for a few years. I’m already planning the plane tickets to get there at least one or two times!
If you’re not watching Modern Family, you really need to start. Honestly, in a sea of lackluster and worthless television, the show is truly genius.
My roomies would like me to mention how cool they are. Done! Lisa is trying to fatten me up. Much to her dismay, I don’t seem to gain weight. Really, it's been a good two years here. Love it and will probably only leave when I get coupled off one day.
The best way to end a productive day of hiking (exercise) is to have corndogs, tater tots, and milkshakes. Just sayin…yep, that not ever gaining weight thing seems to work out pretty well for me. And I did go dancing after, so, I guess bad food was truly justifiable.
My mom infiltrated our little peaceful world again…this time with absolutely random stuff and some letters that were terribly inappropriate to give to your children, but at the same time, gave me more justification to my dad being the good guy. So, there that is.
Songs (!!!): Never Be Ready by Mat Kearney, Obsessed by Mariah Carey (sorry, it grew on me), and Electric Feel by MGMT. Oh, and if anyone wants to go to Rogue Wave with me on April 9th, I already bought an extra ticket. My usual concert buddy will be in New Zealand by then (damn you Ph. D seeking Jon)…so I will need a replacement for all future concerts for the next few years!
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Resolutions for 2010...Yes, I Have a Few
Continue to stay true to myself ~ Be an awesome bridesmaid in May and July for the two weddings I am in this year ~ Laugh uncontrollably (and convincingly) every time someone makes the joke that I am like the chick from 27 Dresses as if it is the funniest thing I have ever heard, and the first time I have ever heard it (I suppose it is an indirect compliment that I am such a fabulous friend, people like having me in their weddings) ~ Not end up on the next season of Tough Love on VH1 ~ Run more with Bailey ~ Go on my first bonafide FAMILY trip out of the state with my parents, half sibs, and Tater Bug ~ Eat less sugary cereal (don’t even THINK I would say eat less cereal) ~ Go to more concerts ~ Stay home more nights and have people over instead of going out ~ Be okay with the fact that I will still probably say ’Yes’ too much and ’No’ too little ~ Spend more time with my friends who don’t live in Portland (including those in Salem, Eugene, Southern Oregon, and Beaverton) ~ Spend more time with my friends who have kids ~ Like my nose more than I did this year ~ Keep kicking butt at work ~ Find a way to get reality shows removed from television ~ Go to bed earlier ~ Play 18 holes of golf without getting mad ~ Volunteer more ~ Spoil the heck out of the new babies joining the family in February and July ~ Stop overanalyzing ~ Continue to believe that people are intrinsically good and not bad ~ Float the river more often ~ Go to the ocean more often ~ Continue appreciating the little things in life ~ Keep loving life, no matter what.
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