Who Needs Calm?

From Rohan Candappa, the author of Wrong Shui, comes another random little book called The Little Book of Stress: Calm is for wimps. Get real. Get stressed. I picked it up while Christmas shopping at Borders in December, and am just getting around to posting some of my favorite suggestions on how to induce stress in yourself and others:

1) Whenever you have the opportunity, shake up cans and bottles of fizzy drinks. Then leave them for someone else to open.

2) If you have free time during rush hour, find a pedestrian crossing and repeatedly push the button to stop the traffic. Never actually cross the road.

3) Always make sure that you have the last word. Raise the stakes by making that last word "dickhead."

4) Never stray from the beaten track. Because the beaten track is a track for the beaten. And, face it, that's you.

5) Make yourself a Humor Free Zone. If you ever find yourself laughing at a predicament you're in, go to the bathroom and pull yourself together.

As I head off to bed, I will leave three final suggestions from the author that coincide with sleep:

6) Write down your worries. Read the list before you go to bed.

7) Learn to snore.

8) Record the sound of a dentist's drill. Play it at bedtime.

Goodnight all.