"Once You're Connected"

I love the smell of field burning mixed with the cold air and rain. I need to get used to wearing my raincoat everywhere and socks again, but so far, the fall weather hasn’t bothered me at all. I love Oregon because you can be dressed to the nines and still have your Marmot or Columbia rain jacket on right over the top. Okay, maybe I just need more fashion sense, but…I like to stay dry.

That is a precursor to the “I’m wearing my happy hat again” post to follow. Gear up, because it’s really about the moments with the people I adore. I’m not intending to turn on the cheese ’o’ meter here either, though some will read it that way. As I may overstate at times, I just feel pretty fortunate to have what, and who, I have in my life, and they don’t always get recognized…

So, Friday night was one of those perfect nights with three of my best friends. Two of them have been married to each other since 2001 and the other I can do anything with, anytime, anywhere, and always have some bizarrely perfect time. Anyway, we’ve been having ‘foursome’ adventures for almost ten years now, and they never get old. We’ve never run out of things to talk about and all we do is laugh, the entire time, at everything, sparing no embarrassing stories or stupid moments. Everyone needs a crew like this, so if you don’t have one, find one.

I guess I am lucky, because I have a few of these. Three of my girlfriends and I are still on our roll of getting together once every week for lunch. We’ve missed a couple, but it’s funny because I can be stressed and having the shittiest day…but then our lunch rolls around and they just calm me down. Maybe it’s because I’ve known them so long. I don’t know. I also have another newer group of girls that I do brunch with once a month. I love that just as much.

Then there’s another friend who I met back in April. We’ve had some lengthy conversations about everything from our disasters in relationships to our hatred for ignorant politics…it’s always engaging and I seem to always walk away from him enlightened. A couple Sundays ago, we hit the Willamette on kayaks for three hours of rowing and chatter, and I once again realized that good friends can come into your life at any moment. He’s never been afraid to tell me to look at things in a different light or that I’m over thinking things, and I appreciate that about him.

I also got to catch up last week with a friend I admire to no end. She takes on everything and has literally blossomed into an amazing wife, mother, and activist in the three short years I have known her. Ahh, and she wrote this about me last October and it makes me laugh…

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, oh how I miss my Sarah. On my first day of work at Catholic Community Services I found out a second person was hired to do the same job as I was. This woman was tall and beautiful and smart and asked all these great questions during our morning orientation type meeting and I went home and told my husband about the new chick that I did not like. Have I ever mentioned that my first impressions are usually wrong? By the end of our first week I had fallen in love with Sarah. She is smart and funny and loyal and kind. She stayed on a CCS for a while after I left but then moved to Ohio. This summer Sarah joined us on our family vacation on the east coast and it was a very cool time with her. It is rumored that she is coming back and though my heart breaks for Sarah as this may mark the end of a very important relationship in her life, I simply can't wait!

I love this because I remember how news of me planning my move back to Oregon last October spread like wildfire through my old CCS coworkers...all of them were on the phone with me within 15 minutes of the first one finding out...asking me what I needed and if I was okay. I’ve somehow remained close to all of them. I have new coworkers too who just put a smile on my face any time I hang out with them. Maybe it’s the line of work we all do…we’re always solving everyone else’s problems, so our hearts are pretty in tune and open.

So, I know that I, like all people, have some superficial friendships. It’s not to even say that those are bad necessarily. Occasionally, amazing connections start superficially as you’re fumbling over the odds and ends of two, or several, different lives merging into commonalities. I truly love meeting new people and finding reasons to join up with someone I hardly know…whether it be to motivate me to exercise or to get me out of a hole. Not all these friendships will go on to include all the nuts and bolts obviously, and some will simply fade out, but I have to recognize this quote from someone I‘ve never met…

“Once you’re connected with someone, time and space become irrelevant.”

It reminds me that everyone who is truly meant to be in our lives may not always be there for us as we all finish school, start new jobs, get married, have kids, get caught up in good and not so good relationships, move away, and occasionally, move back. But, if we hold on to the ones we adore, get to know the ones we think we may grow to enjoy, and leave the ones who burn us out behind, our connections will be pretty damn good…and time and space won’t ever matter.

That’s my two cents. Song of the moment is #41 by Dave Matthews Band. I’m still a little bummed at the loss of LeRoi Moore in August…he had such a signature sound.