Better Than a Bumper Sticker

I don't like bumper stickers, and only have a small OSU Beaver on my car (of course), but I saw this one and it made me smile:

If there are no dogs in Heaven, I'm not going.

Maybe I am too into my dog, but I like to think he is going to live as long as me and then follow me where ever I go next. And I plan to get pretty damn old before I head out. Okay, I sound like the crazy lady who lives on the corner with seventeen cats, but oh well, I love Bailey. Most people who meet him love him too actually. As I may have said before, I have humanized him a bit too much, and he's let it get to his head over the years...he knows how to work people.

Anyway, back to bumper stickers. That gets me to thinking about the crazy people who decorate the back dash of their car with Beanie Babies and stuffed animals. What the hell are they thinking? What could possibly possess a person to stuff freaky little fuzzy dolls into various corners of their vehicles? What about their blindspots? Will the driver blame Clucky the Fuzzy Chicken for the fat pileup that they cause on I-5?

In high school, before my friends got their licenses, Robin's (and everyone's) dad Steve used to drive us to school everyday. We would always get stuck behind this older model Jeep Cherokee that was fully decked out inside and out with Garfield and Odie memorabilia. They even had the seat covers. We would always laugh and wonder what it would be like to be the passenger who had to sit next to the huge stuffed Garfield on the backseat. No surprise though, the person driving never had passengers. Hmm.

I'm thinking about digging out all my old Cabbage Patch Kids to load up in the back of my wagon. When people drive behind me, they're sure to feel all warm and cuddly inside because my chubby cheeked dolls will be creepily smiling back at them.

Hey, whatever I can do to spread a little sunshine people.

Woke Up This Morning...

I got news this morning from my ex-fiance' Mike that his uncle Gary only has a couple of weeks left to live. Over the years, Mike and I got these calls a few times, that he was really sick, that we should fly out...but this time, it's real. He is ready to go.

Gary has had pancreatic cancer for as long as I have known Mike...so long that he has lived longer than any other person in the United States with the disease. I remember when Mike and I got together in the summer of 1999, Gary was given six weeks to live.

Some people prepare to die when they get a terminal diagnosis, but Gary wasn't gonna have that. He retired from work, got married, had a beautiful little boy, built a new house, travelled, and then travelled some more. On top of all this, his sense of humor stayed completely intact, even on his sickest days. On one trip down to his house in San Diego, the swimming pool hadn't heated up yet, so Gary, with a 103 degree temperature offered to go lay out in the pool to heat it up.

I hate that Gary fought the hell out of this disease, and it is finally beating him. There were so many times where the cancer shrank to almost undetectable levels. There was always a hope that it wouldn't come back. Even at the worst times though, he just kept making plans and living his life.

I admit that I have spent the better part of today crying about this situation. I'm guessing Gary would prefer it the other way around, but if you knew him, you'd realize what a bright light this guy is and how much he will be missed. Can't even think of a just way to wrap this except that I finally understand what 'valiant battle' means...Gary epitomizes the phrase, with humor and grace.

Game #4: LOSE

Oregon State 24
Arizona State 42

No comment.

Complaint Session

Things that are annoying me right now:

Cable TV: My house decided to add 60 channels to our typically stripped lineup for football season so we can faithfully root for our Beavers. How can there be this many channels and STILL be nothing on? Besides getting to watch Fox News and CNN again, I think it's terrible. We did run across an episode of COPS that had some crazy lunatic getting hauled off to jail. When the cop asked him if he had a lawyer, he said, "Yeah, I have a lawyer and his name is Ouch!" He said it because his cuffs were too tight, and I don't know why I thought it was so funny, but whatever...that's the extent of entertainment I found in all those channels.

Hurrican Rita evacuations: Some news guy on Fox News pointed out that they are evacuating Texas with only one side of the freeway. As much as I know Texans WANT to sit in traffic for sixteen hours while the six opposing lanes remain empty, I'd like to echo the news guy by asking, What the hell are you waiting for? Open up those damn lanes you idiots...no one is going to be heading TOWARD Texas for a while, trust me.

Alcohol billboards on the roads and freeways: I'm truly thinking about taking this one to the legislature. How can we possibly advertise alcoholic beverages on the roads where thousands are killed by drunk drivers every year? It's stupid, and I want them gone.

The Emmys: Talk about a joke. They are as lame and calculated as the Academy Awards. Why do the same people win every year? Why are the jokes so bad? I had to quit watching after an hour. Oh, and Zach Braff...didn't win. I don't approve.

On that note let me talk more about the Academy Awards. Yeah, it's not that time yet, but let me sum it up for you...Once you're in, you're gold for life ("Ooooh, Kate Winslet was just faaaabulous dying in Finding Neverland, wasn't she?"). I don't buy that these same repetitive nominees are the only deserving actors and actresses in the biz. It's a bunch of crap, and I haven't watched them for a few years now.

Abused animals: Tonight, I got sucked into watching that animal saving cop show on Animal Planet for thirty seconds (because if I watch any longer, I start crying). Being that my dog is pretty much human and treated like a smaller version of God, it makes me sick to see these poor animals all filthy, mistreated, and caged up. Oh, when people don't fix their animals, I get irritated too. I also plan to get petshops banned one day, just in case you're interested in jumping on that bill with me. Now, Bailey is from a petshop, and I love him, but all my future dogs will be rescues.

Ignorant people: So I work at an agency affiliated with the Catholic code of ethics. Most of our employees are great about separating their moral values from the work environment, but some let their feelings be a little too known. One of my coworkers used to work at the Boys and Girls Club, and he ran into a woman who works in another department. She told him that she refuses to let her kids go to the B and G Club because, "They did a billboard with Planned Parenthood, and Planned Parenthood supports abortion." She actually made this comment a long time ago now, and it still pisses me off. I just can't shake my disdain for the woman's choice to passively chastise one of my favorite coworkers.

My commute: 80 miles of driving a day gives me way too much time to think. Being inside my head for that long just gets on my nerves, so I try to make all my phone calls on the road.

Being 'that annoying girl on her cell while driving': Nah, this doesn't really annoy me. It actually keeps me sane, but I'm sure I am contributing to someone else's list of things that annoy them by doing it, thus starting a new cycle of annoyance for someone else. Good thing I can live with that today.

Sixty Degrees and Mellow

Ahhh, life. It's been pretty mellow lately, and here's what I've been up to:

GOOD

My friends Devin and Pinki got married in Manzanita on Saturday and included a lot of Pinki's culture in the ceremony and reception. They even gave out traditional place settings sent from Hong Kong as wedding favors...I got a whole set. The wedding and reception were beautiful and these two make a great couple.

I finally acquired Songs for Silverman by Ben Folds. I was in need of some new stuff from this super talented piano man, and this does the trick. I am pretty obsessed with the song Landed at the moment.

Hmm, I like playing pool. Friday night, about fifteen of us overtook the pool room at the McMenamin's Cedar Hills Pub and ate, played pool, and caught up. The only bummer...I lost in pool and had to buy dinner for a certain guy and myself as part of a deal struck earlier in the evening. I thought I was pretty good, but it looks like I need to hone my skills or quit making bets with better players.

My sister Jennifer and nephew Cedar arrive in two weeks for a visit. Apparently, Cedar has been packing his Power Rangers suitcase since July and has been telling EVERYONE that he is going to go see his 'auntie.' I should add on that he is doing this only because his best friend went to see his 'auntie' and he wants to compete with him. But I still feel a little special.

I was on call again for my job and got one call the entire time. Nice considering that the people on-call before and after me got more than 15 calls each. So I essentially made $175 just for carrying the pager and looking like I was from the early nineties for a week...I can handle that.

BAD

The football teams I've been rooting for had one hell of a week. I don't even need to mention the Beavers game again...it was awful. And then the Cowboys had a freak loss to the Redskins...bye-bye 77-0 record, coach. As supporters of Jose Cortez (my friend Delainie's husband AND a former Beaver), our house had a hard time watching them go down after what was almost a shutout...aggh, hope next week is better all around.

I was sick for about a week and it finally blew over last Friday. I always feel like I am dying when I am sick because I hardly ever get sick. I mean, a headache to me means brain tumor, a stomachache means cancer. Luckily the longest part, the sore throat, means sore throat...but it still sucked.

TEENAGE ETIQUETTE

On Sunday night, my friend Chris came over to watch Fever Pitch and hang out. Raquel (the teenager who lives with us) joined us for the evening. As we were all settling in, she blurted out, "Dude, what happened to Reckless? He was here all the time." Then she continued to ramble on for another few minutes. Reckless, by the way, is Mike, and he got friended a little over a week ago. His license plate on his truck says REKLES, but only because he bought it that way from a friend in AK and never changed it, I swear! Anyway, these awkward situations have happened before with the teenager when I have had the opposite sex around and are bound to happen again in my dating days. Being that I'm not dating Chris, I used it as a training moment and offered up that if I was dating him, it would be pretty awkward for him to hear about another guy, wouldn't you think? Anyway, I may need duct tape for when I have a date over next.

SEND YOUR LOVE

My friend Kim has started going through the prepping for another potential heart surgery. It's a stressful time, so send some good vibes her way and to whatever God you pray to and keep thinking about her.

TUNES

Alright, I'll leave you with some new and old music to go and buy, steal, whatever. My cheese-o-meter self enjoys the new Weezer song Beverly Hills...sorry, it just reminds me a lot of the fun style on their blue album. As mentioned above, Landed by Ben Folds is awesome. And for a nice mellow welcome into fall, go with Coming Home by G-Love. It's good. And Either Way by Guster...it makes me a little sad, but I love it.

Hey, have a good week out there.

Last September

To most, this last week was probably an ordinary week. As for me, I'd like to celebrate the anniversary of a week that changed my perspective on the life I was living.

I actually wrote this in January. But it explains the process pretty well, so read on:

Months ago I excitedly found out that my long term boyfriend was finally going to propose to me. He announced this in an effort to select the exact ring I wanted, and it was one which he eventually successfully created. Having waited many years for him to show some sign of an effort to bump me from his girlfriend to bonafide fiancée, I was thrilled, ecstatic, and told everyone I knew.

By December, we were in the most awkward proposal ever. He was down on one knee, asking me to marry him, and my answer back? “I guess so.” I guess so? Yes, I really said this, and he didn’t seem to even flinch. He still put the ring on my finger, took me to show off to his family. How did we get that far, or better yet, how did I let it get that far?

In September I took an 800 mile roadtrip home to relax and spend time with my best friends. Jessica, one of my dearest friends who had already been married for years and had waited just as long for me to announce an engagement, conned me into checking out the local bridal shops to try on wedding dresses. I excitedly obliged (only to later find out from another friend that it's bad luck to try on wedding dresses before you are engaged), and we rushed to a shop with aisles and aisles of pretty white and cream dresses. We happily picked over the dresses finding three that held my interest…simple, but not too plain, bigger, but not on the edge of making me look like a mobster‘s bride. I tried on one…pretty, I like this, I look pretty on this pedestal. Then I tried on another, did a few twirls…yeah, this is working for me. Then I looked to the pedestal on my left and opened my ears and eyes to this beautiful glowing petite girl. “This song is going to make me cry because I am just so happy,” she said, fanning her eyes to hold back the welling tears. “I can’t wait to get married.” Gulp. That may have been the point where I started to realize that getting engaged had just become a goal for me, the next logical step…not a dream, and especially not the dream of spending the rest of my life with the man I was trying on this dress for.

Yeah, so I already knew last September that I wasn't ready to get married...and worse, that I wasn't sure I wanted to marry Mike. It would become a constant discussion between Mike and I up until the day of his proposal, and we thought about not doing it a few times. I think that I was hoping the real engagement would change my point of view. As you all know, it didn't and it was over a little more than a month later.

Completely unrelated, but equally important in my life...last September on my trip home, I met my dad for the first time. I remember it being the most nerve bending experience of my life, but I really wanted to meet the guy. He came to the mall, brought my little sister Lexy, we had rootbeer floats, and talked about the past. Later that night, I dragged my friend Jessica to his house to meet my other siblings. In January on another trip home, he introduced me to a stranger as his daughter. I think that was the point where it really kicked in that I was comfortable with the idea of having a dad.

Right now, we're still building our relationship, learning about each other and how much we have had in common all these years. I've always had 'dads' in my life, but it is a completely different experience to have a dad who shares your blood, your traits, your oddly loud voice. I'm happy to say that I don't regret the choice to find my dad and make him a part of my life...it's been great.

So finally, my trip last September set off the flashing lights in my head that I really wanted to move back home. I won't expand on the terror of pulling off that move for a while still, but it has been yet another decision that meets no regret. I'm loving life right now...my friends, my family, my job, even the weather. Now, if only that older sister of mine would move back home too...

Game #3: LOSE

Oregon State 27
Louisville 63

Yeah, your eyes are right...it was horrible. The biggest amount of points we've given up in a single game in the HISTORY of Beaver football. What was worst was that ten of us got up early enough to watch the game start at 9:00. Damn, I could have used some extra sleep.

CRASH Into Me

Crash has officially been added to my list of movies that are a sociological and cinematic dream come true. This movie made me scream, cry, and then almost cry several more times, pound my fist on my coffee table, and even cheer at a few points.

I'd analyze this film from my liberal 'lover of sociology' viewpoint for you, but really it comes down to this:

1) I loved it.
2) You should watch it.
3) Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges deserves cinematic respect. Seriously.
4) If you feel no emotion watching it, you are a stone.
5) If you're still pissed at Matt Dillon's character by the end of the movie, good.
6) If you don't rethink some of your own viewpoints, you're lying to yourself.

And lastly, if you don't think this stuff really happens, you are an ignorant ass. In this case, I suggest you spend a rainy Oregon day watching Crash again, along with American History X, The Hurricane, Traffic, and Philadelphia. If you aren't pissed about something by the end of the day, consider yourself a threat to society and move to a deserted island.

In honor of Grandparent's Day (which was yesterday by the way), this is the amazing Charles Knowles and myself in Dalton, Ohio back in July 1983. This was the summer when I lived with 'Grandpa and Grandma' for four months and learned how to feed chickens, take care of my own rabbit, plant bulbs and tend a garden, fish, ride a horse, ride a bike, read longer books, write bigger words, and use lightning bugs as a night light. Grandpa's been Amish since the early 90s and still gets up early, farms, and drops me letters in the mail. This man has had the biggest influence on many decisions in my life, hands down...and the reason that I love the smell of tobacco smoke to this day. Because I am still getting used to having a Grandma again, I didn't call my Grandma Hadenfeld until today, but we had a good talk and caught up. Remember to call and give a happy belated if you forgot to yesterday.

Game #2: WIN!

Oregon State 30
Boise State 27

Phew! Thanks Serna!

I Hate (pause) How News Reporters Talk

I swear I don’t remember reporters talking in their own tonal language when I was younger. But lately when I watch the news, I end up turning it off because I just can’t handle their inability to talk like people (pause) on the street.

If my news annoyance isn’t registering with you yet, go turn on the news and watch for a few minutes, and let me give you more examples:

Yesterday, Sally Johnson shot her husband and now (pause) tragically (pause, lower voice) he is dead…George Smith addressed the chaos in New Orleans today, and what he had to say (pause) moved millions…The car wreck caused a pileup so huge that no one could move their cars (pause) for hours.

It’s all just so damn unnatural, stupid, and annoying.

Who made this awkward form of speech universally acceptable as the way to present the news? I personally like to refer to it as the ‘Stone Phillips’ style. I remember him doing it way back when, the bizarre sounding transitions from one thought to another…the illusion that his words were a prelude to something completely amazing…and oh yeah, I hated it back then too. Rob Lowe made fun of it on Saturday Night Live once, and he barely even had to exaggerate his speech patterns. My friend Steve can mimic the style perfectly too. He lowers his head, his tone, adopts the stupid seriousness.

I think the next time I go on a date with someone new, I will talk only in news talk. I will end every sentence like a closing statement…“So that must have been fun growing up (pause) in Maine.” And, “Hey, I like your shirt. That color would look good (pause) on my bedroom floor.”

I can guess that if I talked like that all night and then tried to say, “Hey, I had fun, you should come in and hang out (pause) for a while,” he would probably be squealing out of my driveway in reverse faster than I could say, “But I thought (pause) we had fun.”

I mean, look at it, look at how awkward it is to just try to read it with pauses in those stupid places. Then add in the serious pose, the lowered voice, and it’s just ridiculous. So I am making a plea to all you news reporters to PLEASE stop presenting the news this way, or just STOP TALKING ALTOGETHER! My internet at home has been out for a week, and that is the only reason I have to watch the news on TV anyway, because I can’t simply enjoy reading it on (pause) my f**king silent computer screen.

Back to you Bob.

Game #1: WIN!

Oregon State 41
Portland State 14

Catching Up

The net was out in my house for a week, so I took a nice hiatus from typing and logged some stuff in my mind instead. Here's a flashback to what my week was all about:

GOOD

Beaver football starts today!!! Yes, in one hour, my face will be glued to the TV screen to watch the most ridiculous matchup between OSU and Portland State. This is such a stupid idea...how are we going to get ranked playing a small time team like them? Last year's LSU opener was a much more strategic plan. Now, we better just win.

I've had the chance to hang out with my friend Bruce again, so that's cool. He pretty much the same as he was in high school and college and a blast to hang out with. The other night while rolling with a crew of OSU alums, I met up with him and several of his pals, all dressed in U of O gear. Man, that much yellow and green just isn't okay.

My brother Jay works on the same street as me, so every time he sees me drive by, he calls to check in. It's been my regular way of keeping up with his life, which includes dating his first brunette ever. This is a big deal, really.

FUNNY

Last night at the Triple Nickel, I watched as a girl took a guy taller than her down to the ground and started to choke him. It was hard to miss considering they fell directly on my foot. We all kind of stood there thinking it was a joke, but she just kept choking him, and the bouncer rushed over, pulled her off, and then kicked the guy out. Yep, the guy deserved it and got 86'ed.

Before heading to the Triple Nickel last night, my friend Chris and I stopped by his buddy's house to witness a Fantasy Football draft. In attendance were twelve pretty cute guys, dressed in football jerseys, crammed around a table full of sheets of paper and laptops shouting out draft picks. I was the ONLY girl there, and though I love football, this whole concept just doesn't make sense to me. Chris and I thought about sticking it out to create a drinking game out of every time they bought a player, but ended up scramming after a half hour. Talk about bizarre.

TV worth watching: So, Family Guy cracks me up. It is so random and out there. The new American version of The Office is actually great. Arrested Development and Scrubs start up again soon too, so I may just have to learn to sit on a couch so I can watch these shows regularly. That is only two hours of TV a week, so I think I can handle it.

The other night as I left the Horse Brass, I waved goodbye to my friend Pete, who responded by saying, "Waving is for yuppies" and gave me a hug instead. It cracked me up.

BAD

What a worm: On Monday I went into the DMV in Salem to finalize my Oregon identity. Little did I know, my ex-stepdad from high school works there. This guy was a true asshole on so many levels, and seeing him made my blood boil. I sat in the waiting area for an hour trying to burn a hole in his head with my eyes, but apparently failed because he remained standing. After I left, I got so worked up that I had to shut the door to my office and zone out for a while. I had no idea that seeing him would unearth so many feelings of anger and discomfort, but it did, and I didn't like it. Looking back, I am pissed that I let him get to me, but he really did cause some extreme chaos in my life and family. Man, hate is a big word, but I think I dug it up Monday.

The Ducks won their first game of the season. Sorry Dad, they aren't supposed to do that. I foresee a beating on their turf this year for the Civil War.

The fat gas hike has created quite an expensive commute for me. Time to get a scooter.

Alright, gotta go watch OSU slaughter PSU.