Anyway

So I have to register my car in Oregon starting tomorrow morning. No more Utah plates. But I am kind of a slacker and only have the trip permit so far because I haven't sent away for the title yet...better get on that.

Hmm, tonight we had a BBQ and played some volleyball. Fun enough. So why am I so unsettled at the moment?

Some of my friends were checking out my scrapbook tonight. Looking at newspaper articles from when my best friend died. How this possibly bothers me after eight years is surprising, but it does. I'm waiting for the year that passes with no reaction from me, but will that just mean that I have forgotten him? Last week, I ended up calling his best friend crying and went to hang out for a few hours on the day it happened. Maybe it has something to do with him being one of the few major people I've lost in my life...who knows.

So the other night, I was pissed off too. For no reason in particular. My ex boy happened to call by chance and we talked for a while. People always ask if I miss him, and I don't. Great to talk to, but otherwise in my past and staying there. A few minutes later, one of my really good friends called. That's the person I really miss, and I don't feel like talking about that EVER. I think I bit his head off for making a comment at the start of our conversation pertaining to our 'futcha' as I used to like to call it. Maybe I'll get over it...it was pretty ridiculous of me.

So, what's the point of this entry. Sheeeit girls, you guys know me the best. Ro can call me on anything even when I don't see it in myself. She did last week, and I didn't want to admit that she totally sees the reality in me. Jess too. That girl can read right through my lines. Maybe I don't want to just be the pretty girl anymore...one of my male coworkers has even been making the comment to me that I can't be both pretty and smart. Fuck that. I'll be both. I am both.

Great, good, and that other #@*!

Sparing details, let's just slam out a list:

GOOD
24HourFitness is doing a good job of saving me from the major insanity that comes with many indoor binding consecutive days of clouds and rain. Though I have to say that the Hillsboro site is terrifyingly 'gym ratty.' It was too packed and just looked like a million hamsters running on their wheels. Think I'll be sticking to the Murray location instead. Somehow, it's always empty. And the ellipticals face the weight area, so, oh wait, we'll get to this later.

Hey, Jon's really coming to visit because he'll be in a wedding. Finableepingly. No offense, but if you don't show this time, the groom might kick your ass WITH me. You know how much we all love you, so make it out!

Job still good. And I get to pull a kid from jail and bring him into my program. So that makes me happy. This kid has NO family at all, and that just bums me out. So I hope we can do some good for him. And my runaway came back too. Wow.

DIFFERENT
So this is the first year in five years that it won't be my anniversary on the Fourth of July. Now this is definitely not a 'woah is me' statement...I wouldn't change this at all. But it is still just a weird thought for me. Funnier is that I almost thought about racing out to Utah for that weekend to pick up my stuff, but later realized the correlation to mine and Mike's old anniversary. Now, that is just not a good idea, so the stuff will have to wait.

BAD
Hi, Ma Nature...yeah it's LATE June. Seriously, what the hell do you have against me girl? I am going crazy!!!

After hearing how I talk about me and the regular side project to others, I can see that this is just SO not good...it's not even worth talking about anymore. Now, I haven't told him he's a 'bleeping pain in the ass' lately, but everyone else has heard me call him this, and I tend to say it as I throw down the phone after we talk too...and that is plenty for me to know that it's done. So put it down as my first big oops, rebound even, and let's just move on.

Quite possibly starting to agree that I need a break from the male species. Okay, I guess that may not be completely plausible, so forget that one.

Aight, later.

G'yeah

So, it turns out that the troops are cruising up here for the night instead of hanging in Salem. That means I get to stick close to home and still see my pals. How nice is that?

Moving on, as a result of not having to drive to Salem, I'm bored now and waiting for the crew to arrive in town. This boredom is helping me to focus on the six huge mosquito bites I acquired on my legs and feet at an NBA Finals BBQ on Thursday. For some odd reason, my bod doesn't take their vicious blood sucking well, so I have this Rx steroid stuff that I have to slather on every time I get a bite. A couple of them are about two inches in diameter at the moment...lovely, let me tell you. By default, I scored burn cream for them at Gage's the other night before we rushed out to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and that stuff is magic. It's all the benzocaine man. So keep that in mind next time you get attacked. And go see that movie too. Not an epic piece of cinema by any means, but damn, Brad Pitt is hot in this show, and it's pretty funny too.

And in boy news, I'm dissolving the 'three week demise or solidification' decision for the regular side project and I that I mentioned back on 6/08. Can't really explain, but it's just one of those things. Now, if I have to call him a f**king pain in the ass again (a few of you know the story), it'll probably be going the wayside. But anyway, in the meantime, I'm allowing myself to be open to other possibilities too. Remember the variety packs of Kellogg's cereals? No surprise I still like those.

And in that variety pack for life is Bailey. He's got a stick at my feet that awaits some throwing, so I better get going.

Only because Trina's there

So I am going to go hang out in Salem tonight because Trina is in town and I haven't seen her in almost two years...how the hell is that possible by the way? Oh yeah, I lived in another state.

Well, we are going to go out, and that is just scary because you see people in Salem you have no desire to interact with. For example, my friend Beck recently ran into my crazy ex-boyfriend from seven years ago. I dumped this guy close to our two year anniversary because he was (as my friend Jon can bizarrely and accurately describe without ever even meeting him) a "WHO WERE YOU WITH!?" and "WHAT WERE YOU DOING!?" crazy who wore a baseball cap backwards at all times and drove a big fuel inefficient black truck. The idiot actually broke the windshield on his own car when I broke up with him. Smart. Anyway, the jerk asked about me, and for some reason that creeped me out knowing he wanted to know. Not that he was restraining order worthy, but just, ugh. There are also those awkward moments where I see someone from high school who knows my name, but I just can't think of theirs. Yeah, that makes me feel like a snobby ass.

I'd rather just 'picket' Salem as I was planning to do until my friends come up here and hang out with me in a fun city. Of course, I have only been to Salem once besides for work. So I guess I can't legitimately ban So Lame when I am slacking on the socializing too. Maybe I'll start next week after I have two visits logged against them.

This is Greg and I when we were little fourteen year olds. 

Don't Make Me Smack You

So the picture above this entry is Greg (and me when we were bitties). He died instantly on June 23, 1997 in a car accident, and this day always makes it seem like it happened more recently. I can't say I'll ever be to a point where I don't cry about it anymore, and I don't think I'll ever have to be. For the most part though, I think of him and smile.

I still consider this gorgeous boy to be one of my best friends. I can guarantee most of you who knew him well can still say that without hesitation too. Greg and I met when we were twelve, tricked people into thinking we were twins, fought like hell on and off for seven years and loved each other in between. He was always more like a brother to me, complete with the torture and teasing that you would expect. But with that came a very unconditional and protective friendship, and I like to think that our bond can carry on until we see each other again. He actually still shows up in my dreams on occasion, and we catch up, talk, I get hugged. It's always a bummer when those dreams end, but he's always back again.

So anyway, I sent this out two years ago, but I figured I would post what I wrote for his funeral again, just because it sums up the boy well:

Greg. I’d rather talk to you cuz it’s hard to explain this to everyone else. I can’t believe you’re gone, and I hope you listen when we talk to you. I’m going to miss your eyes, your smile, your confident voice disagreeing with all our opinions. Everyone’s here. Everyone who knew you says, “he was a good friend, or a close friend, or my best friend.” No one says, “Oh yeah, I knew him.” It’s always more. You knew everybody bud. Lots of tears in these past few days. The last thing you said to me was “I love you” on Saturday night from your cell phone. And then I said, “I love you too.” Unfortunately, not everyone had the same last words we did. But so many people love you. Never seen so many guys cry in my life. I hate that. I love you Greg. I hope you check in on us now and then. Teach the angels the art of winning every argument. Remember we’ll go out to coffee or dinner when I get up there in about eighty years. Like you always said we should. I’ll buy okay?

I found what Aimee wrote too, and it just helps to capture his personality even more:

I love you so much. You did so much for me and you always took care of me. I remember when I first found out you liked me. Once you knew that I knew, you were too nervous to talk to me. Until one day you were walking down the hall of North with Tim, and I came up behind you and pushed you. That gave you the courage to ask me out. But, then the night of our first date,I got locked out of my house and had to call you from a neighbor's to say I would be late. You thought I was going to cancel because you were afraid I had changed my mind. I'm glad that wasn't the case. I also remember the day you came to my house and played basketball with my brothers. Accidentally, you hit the ball and sent it through the window. Later that day, we jumped on the trampoline and you wanted to help my brother jump higher, so you got underneath the trampoline and pushed up with your legs. Only to find out you pushed the trampoline off its legs and bent them. You said, "I'm never coming over to your house again!" Yesterday I pulled out the letter you wrote me from Alaska. At one part you said, "They say you only find true love once and I don't think it's possible to find another person as great as you. I love you with all my heart." Of course you didn't want anyone to know you wrote a love letter. I'm glad I got the last two months to be with you. I need you and I'm glad we got close again. God had a plan for us. I miss you. You are my guardian and my protector. You will always be my angel and I know you are watching over me and that you are protecting me. I can't wait to see you again, someday. I will look for you. I love you.

I'd love for you to post a memory about Greg in the comments to this. It seems like he's still around because we still talk about him all the time, but it's still great to see what people remember the most.

Oh yeah, Greg...I love you and I miss you. I always will.

Okay, here's a list

GOOD

Our backyard is turning into a summer lair of fun. We've got the lawn chairs, BBQ, a fire pit, and a volleyball net. My next goal is to eliminate the grass and bring in a load of sand. I'm guessing Bill won't go for this idea though...so I need to get sneaky. Anyone know a silent dump truck company?

I actually got to call my dad on Father's Day for the first time in my life. Oh, my half-sister Alexis got married Tuesday too. And I met my paternal grandmother at the reception. That's all pretty cool to me, if you must know.

My friend Ryan recently shipped himself off to South Korea to teach for a couple years, and he has started a blog about it. We worked at Oakley together, and he always provided constant entertainment for me. So check out The Nuprin Diaries, and learn a little about being a blond haired guy in South Korea. Oh yeah Ryan, start an uncensored blog too please!!!

The weather has finally shifted to sunny! And we've even had some cool storms late in the afternoon and early evening. Bout' time Miss Nature.

NOT SO GOOD

Hmmm, who cares this week? If it's not so good, it's not so bad this week either, or I am just completely indifferent. So I guess that's a wrap for now.

Good, and the other stuff

Here is a list of my life this week, thrown into the good, the not so good, and some in between...

GOOD

Cool nonsmoking spot found called the Nightlight Lounge over on SE 21st and Clinton. I didn't even drink and the atmosphere remained pleasant for the entire five hours I was there for a double birthday celebration. You can actually smoke in the back half if you must, but I was impressed that the smoke mostly stayed put back there. Of course, there is this one bartender who NEVER smiles, and the fact that he was really cute made that a little scary. Poor boy.

Week two of the new job was as good as the first one. And this week, I get to go hang out with my kids at their foster homes, which for me, happen to all be farms. Can't wait to see the $30,000 Texas Longhorns and big pet pig that they refuse to eat.

Scrubs on DVD. I actually watched episodes 3-8 of Season One on Saturday night because I was feeling too sick and tired to do anything else. I love that show! And, I found a website that lists every song played in every episode. So now, my downloading skills are back in action as I capture the songs that make that show.

EEEN BETWEEN

My friend Brian Nelson is debating a move back to Anchorage because the money for jobs ain't up to par for him here and he's a little homesick because he works so much he hardly sees his friends. So, sad that he may leave, but happy for him either way. He decided to leave the Nightlight Lounge the other night early after a few too many Makers and walk (really, it was more like stagger) 40 blocks back home. About an hour later though, he did call to report that he made it home safely and that he loved me. Is this normal for all of you AK natives to be this crazy?

Boys. Not much to mention. But the above AK pal is planning to set me up with a buddy (normal, not crazy like him) of his before he escapes off into the wild. Now, do I want to add another one to the equation right now or just work on what I've got with the one at the moment? Hmm, I'm torn, just like the bad Natalie Umbruglia hit. We'll see.

NOT SO GOOD

Okay, my stir crazy ass can't handle this anymore...THIS WEATHER SUCKS!!! There, I said it. So make fun of me and remind me that I moved myself to Oregon. I say it every month, but hopefully, next month will actually be nice. Okay, props to Thursday, it was sunny and great.

Scary mom dream. Maybe because my sister and I were just talking about her, but I must say, I didn't like it.

I have this fear I may be allergic to shellfish because I ate a lot on Sunday night, and have been feeling borderline sick for the whole week since. That would make me cry, a lot. So let's hope that's not true.

And finally, a song or two to add to your collection, care of music...Never Meant by American Football, You Remind Me of Home by Ben Gibbard, Why You'd Want to Live Here by Death Cab for Cutie (which Ben Gibbard is the lead singer of, duh).

Okay, out.

Ending World Poverty, One Unsold Bentley at a Time

So, I got off work early today, and I am going to go outside in a minute, but first, I want to complain about the ONE Campaign. I actually wrote this last night, went to publish, and it was GONE, so I wrote it again, so this is just my 'pissed off because I had to do it again' cut and paste. It's really way too pretty outside to be in here.

So anyway, at first I thought this campaign was a cool idea…stars using their celeb power to rally us mere mortals into helping end poverty, starvation and AIDS. But then I opened my eyes. Dude, P. Diddy is in this campaign. During the recent election, he had the gall to cruise down a poverty stricken street in his Bentley! Why do I see this as ignorance instead of assistance? Oh because it is my friend, it is. It’s like Lil’ Romeo’s episode of Cribs back in the day. The twelve year old kid had his own mini mansion on daddy’s property complete with multiple pairs of name brand kicks that had only been worn one time each. Doesn’t he think that those would look better on the feet of some poor kids somewhere instead of all over the floor in his overly packed walk-in closet?

George Clooney also promotes the ONE campaign. Doesn’t he own a private island near Italy? Does he really need that much space all to himself. Couldn’t he fly in a few people from Indonesia and gice them a clean place to stay for a while?

What’s my issue here? Most of these celebs probably have enough money to afford a shitload of stuff while still throwing a bunch of cash at various charities. But something still isn’t sitting right with me to the point where I have a hard time supporting the ‘yahs’ from glassy eyed fans who find their simple white t-shirts and stern looks to be revolutionary in the fight against world poverty and disease.

My irritation here is really in the way that these stars preach for a cause, but don’t demonstrate that they can live without all the glitz and glam until the issue is resolved. Don’t get me wrong, if I had that much money, I would probably park a dream Porsche 911 turbo in my driveway, but not twenty, at five different residencies. It’s about moderation, and few of them truly show that they have it. So until they want to be a little more moderate, meaning…quit throwing monthly yacht parties, quit dropping dimes on private jets, and quit spending the weekends power shopping for Gucci and Valentino, WE will not be able to end world poverty. They’re in the top 2% of wealth and spending, yet they stand there and state that one billion people live on less than a dollar a day. How can they genuinely push for a campaign when they could sell one of their many mansions and feed a fucking country and completely eradicate a few illnesses? And yes, I am leaving politics out of it, but a lot of my thinking is that it could really be that damn simple.

Now, I know the power that a pen and a voice can have in helping to assist with change, and I am not just sitting back waiting for the rich people to make all the changes. And maybe it’s not always about money. But damn, how many people died of starvation and horrid disease in the time it took me to write this? Maybe I’ll go ask Diddy. He could send them a few bottles of Cristal to drown out their sorrows with for the time being.

Condensed Goodness

Hmm, I am thinking that one category will do it this week, so here is a combo of the good, alright, bad, whatever:

Alright, I did finally watch the new Star Wars movie, for free on a TV, care of a foreign dwelling friend. It was good. Poor Anakin was just a little brainwashed though. More evidence to support that my child will never be allowed to serve in the military if I have something to do with it.

On another note though, Doonesbury ran a Sunday comic strip that simply listed the names of those who have been killed in the war since the end of April. Sobering, but a great tribute in my opinion. Gary Trudeau sure is cool.

The Starlight Parade was cool, for five minutes. Haven't been to it since the eighth grade and won't go again til I have kids of my own. Need I say more than parades are pretty torturous after a couple of floats?

New job is so great. The first time in a long time that I have been leaving work at the end of my days in a great mood. Bout time.

A 22 year old fraternity kid tried to get my number this weekend. No, no, no. And I am overly partial to Adam, so once again, no, no, no. Though A has some interesting tactics for keeping me interested, as reported by him to my friend Kim. Yeah, he should probably drop the tactic sometime soon. I don't get it, but whatever.

All you can eat sushi at Todai is pretty good. Definitely not Mio, but mmmmm enough.

I have to miss the Oakley graduation because Utah is a little far away and I don't have time off for a while, so bummer.

And speaking of condensed goodness, I must admit that my favorite soup remains Campbell's Chicken Noodle with all its sodium enriched yumminess. I can't even eat it without 500 saltines, but I think I am addicted to the stuff.

And here are some newer and older songs for you peeps to download: Staralfur by Sigur Ros, and how about Carry the Zero by Built to Spill because it is one of the few songs by them that I like. And Ulysses by Mason Jennings, who just toured with Modest Mouse. I have a love/hate relationship with his music, but it is a nice change from the typical.

That's all for now, so later.

Job News and Unrelated Tangents

Alright, I proudly announce that I have no complaints about my new job. I have my own computer and desk in an office full of windows. My schedule is packed with a diverse array of things to do so that I'm not stuck sitting all day, and my caseload is an interesting mix of teenage boys and their foster parents. And best of all, I'm not getting cussed at, attacked, or completely exhausted by the end of the day. About time this day came, huh?

In other news, which there isn't much of, Mike reports that G. Love is playing at the Salt Lake City Public Library next week. Does anyone else find that a little bizarre? I caught up with Mike for almost an hour tonight, and he is doing fine for those of you who would wonder about such things or have to relay reports to a certain jilted nephew. I occasionally assume that the day will come when we won't talk anymore, and I can't decide if I am cool with that idea. I also really missed his parents this weekend, which had me momentarily bummed out. Another one of those moments I imagine.

My mom was pissing me off this weekend too. No, I haven't talked to her. I don't even know where she is, and I plan on keeping it that way. I just thought about her and it had me really irritated. Holidays. That's my only explanation. But I also transferred all this music into my iTunes and ran into some CDs she made me that reflect her moments of "created victim" that she was so good at. Then I landed on some good songs by Fleetwood Mac and the Moody Blues that reminded me of her moments of normalcy. I think I may need an exorcist for this one. It's odd to say that someone alive can have a haunting effect on you, but she does. Alright, maybe I need some counseling instead.

Well, on that note, I am going to sleep because it appears that I may need some about now. Oh, and I am in a good mood I swear, but sometimes a girl's gotta vent.