Anyway

So I have to register my car in Oregon starting tomorrow morning. No more Utah plates. But I am kind of a slacker and only have the trip permit so far because I haven't sent away for the title yet...better get on that.

Hmm, tonight we had a BBQ and played some volleyball. Fun enough. So why am I so unsettled at the moment?

Some of my friends were checking out my scrapbook tonight. Looking at newspaper articles from when my best friend died. How this possibly bothers me after eight years is surprising, but it does. I'm waiting for the year that passes with no reaction from me, but will that just mean that I have forgotten him? Last week, I ended up calling his best friend crying and went to hang out for a few hours on the day it happened. Maybe it has something to do with him being one of the few major people I've lost in my life...who knows.

So the other night, I was pissed off too. For no reason in particular. My ex boy happened to call by chance and we talked for a while. People always ask if I miss him, and I don't. Great to talk to, but otherwise in my past and staying there. A few minutes later, one of my really good friends called. That's the person I really miss, and I don't feel like talking about that EVER. I think I bit his head off for making a comment at the start of our conversation pertaining to our 'futcha' as I used to like to call it. Maybe I'll get over it...it was pretty ridiculous of me.

So, what's the point of this entry. Sheeeit girls, you guys know me the best. Ro can call me on anything even when I don't see it in myself. She did last week, and I didn't want to admit that she totally sees the reality in me. Jess too. That girl can read right through my lines. Maybe I don't want to just be the pretty girl anymore...one of my male coworkers has even been making the comment to me that I can't be both pretty and smart. Fuck that. I'll be both. I am both.