So my interview yesterday ended with an offer for employment no less than 24 hours later this morning. The pay is less than stellar, but I decided to take the position for now because everyone is hired on at part time status with up to full time hours. This allows me the option of moving into the better paying job when it arises with no strings attached and maybe even the option to work for them part time to make extra money on the side later on. Overall, any money is better than no money at this point because today was the last day that my old company paid me (thank God for payouts), and I can't just run out of funds while I wait for the job that pays as well and gives me as much seniority as my last job.
In the meantime, I applied for seven more jobs today. I even went outside my bubble and applied for some big corporate administrative assistant position. Right now, the idea of good pay and normal 9-5 hours has my mouth watering, and I don't think I will stop until that goal is achieved. Something about devoting years to social service is that I've worked such odd hours as three days straight sleeping at Oakley, then three days off at home, four tens at a residential for women that overlapped and killed my entire weekend, and most recently, five nights a week only to arrive home when no one is awake at midnite. Yes, the idea of running with the normal crowd is way up there on my list of priorities for now. Could you blame me?
I got word that my moving truck officially arrives tomorrow morning. This is pretty exciting considering that all of my possessions short of my dog and a suitcase are in that thing. I am a little scared to see if everything makes it because it was packed so insanely that boxes and furniture will have to be removed one by one from the top if I don't want it to all topple over and kill someone. The unpacking starts tomorrow with the big stuff rolling out Saturday, so wish me luck.
I just realized that this probably isn't that interesting to anyone but me, but I am printing it anyway. Soon, you will get to hear about my new adventures, me telling boys they aren't my type (or maybe them telling me those dreaded words...no, I'll let my ego stay inflated for now), and all of those fine things. For now though, life is pretty good with the first job offer and all my stuff arriving. But really, my fingers are tired, so I am going to eat some cereal.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Sunny Skies in Oregon
I've made it to Oregon alive and in one piece, albeit quietly because my voice decided to not come back until late last night. Luckily, there was no need to scream for my safety on the drive out here, and the twelve hours of resting my vocal cords appears to have ended my week of whispering. This morning, the realization hit me that I wouldn't be going back to Utah at the end of this trip. I am here to stay, and the idea is settling in just fine. Now I am just awaiting the arrival of all my things later this week so that I can set up my new place and make it look like more than a crashing pad (which it has been in the past when I come to visit).
I have to admit that is weird to be back and not "just visiting" this time. Every other time I have come back, it has been to have a blast for a short period of time before jetting back to reality. I keep thinking of the last times I've been here...staying up all night, drinking too much, spending time laughing and reminiscing with my friends. Living here won't produce the same joyful craziness every night of course, but it is nice to know that I am where there are a ton of laughs and good times to be had.
So next on my plate is reality. That starts tomorrow with an interview for a company similar to the one I just left. Not necessarily the line of work I am dying to get into immediately again, but anything will suffice while I wait to hear back from other companies. I realized that I didn't want my last job either though and that turned into two promotions, free trips to Spain and Mexico, and a lot of amazing experiences, so who knows at this point.
I plan to quickly mix my reality and the qualities of my visits together so that I can enjoy being back here for the long term. I'll do it with responsibility and balance, but I plan to have fun and enjoy life out here. So the party with the mechanical bull is still going to happen (hey Jonathan, we'll wait for you to visit), the term 'last call' will ring through my ears a few more times, and more interesting stories will definitely be created between midnite and four in the morning. In the meantime, I've got some fun killing interview clothes to go iron.
I have to admit that is weird to be back and not "just visiting" this time. Every other time I have come back, it has been to have a blast for a short period of time before jetting back to reality. I keep thinking of the last times I've been here...staying up all night, drinking too much, spending time laughing and reminiscing with my friends. Living here won't produce the same joyful craziness every night of course, but it is nice to know that I am where there are a ton of laughs and good times to be had.
So next on my plate is reality. That starts tomorrow with an interview for a company similar to the one I just left. Not necessarily the line of work I am dying to get into immediately again, but anything will suffice while I wait to hear back from other companies. I realized that I didn't want my last job either though and that turned into two promotions, free trips to Spain and Mexico, and a lot of amazing experiences, so who knows at this point.
I plan to quickly mix my reality and the qualities of my visits together so that I can enjoy being back here for the long term. I'll do it with responsibility and balance, but I plan to have fun and enjoy life out here. So the party with the mechanical bull is still going to happen (hey Jonathan, we'll wait for you to visit), the term 'last call' will ring through my ears a few more times, and more interesting stories will definitely be created between midnite and four in the morning. In the meantime, I've got some fun killing interview clothes to go iron.
Friday, March 25, 2005
Signing Off In Utah
This is the last time I will write anything in here until I get out to Oregon. I can't believe that I have two days left and it is still seems a little unreal. But there is a huge truck sitting in front of my house, my last day of work was yesterday, I paid for my April rent in Oregon, and I said many goodbyes, so that means I'm on my way.
My anticipation has turned to exhaustion as I finish all the last minute packing that I failed to do this week because I was too sick to do anything. I am still at about half speed and my voice has been gone for three days too, so I am failing to feel much excitement about things at the moment. I just hope that everything fits in the truck or my car and my voice comes back so that I can sing along to music on my long drive to Oregon.
Here's to hopes that I will like Oregon for longer than ten days at a time, that a job lands at my feet in the next two weeks, and that the sun decides to make a long term friend of Portland so that I don't have to ship myself off to Bend or another sunnier place too quickly. I guess I will retreat back to something I wrote in January and remember that I will be surrounded by a ton of great friends and family when I get back, so I imagine that the clouds will be one of the last things on my mind anyway.
My anticipation has turned to exhaustion as I finish all the last minute packing that I failed to do this week because I was too sick to do anything. I am still at about half speed and my voice has been gone for three days too, so I am failing to feel much excitement about things at the moment. I just hope that everything fits in the truck or my car and my voice comes back so that I can sing along to music on my long drive to Oregon.
Here's to hopes that I will like Oregon for longer than ten days at a time, that a job lands at my feet in the next two weeks, and that the sun decides to make a long term friend of Portland so that I don't have to ship myself off to Bend or another sunnier place too quickly. I guess I will retreat back to something I wrote in January and remember that I will be surrounded by a ton of great friends and family when I get back, so I imagine that the clouds will be one of the last things on my mind anyway.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Monday, March 21, 2005
Thanks OTC Meds
Ahhh, today I am in a much better headspace than yesterday. My temp has dropped (or at least it's been masked by multiple overlapping doses of Dayquil, Sudafed, ibuprofen, and Theraflu) and I've gotten more sleep in the last 24 hours than a one month old baby needs. My thoughts from yesterday have been buried, but I can assume that it's probably going to be normal for me to bounce around in my head every now and then like that for a little while longer. Change is a pain in the ass sometimes. I know that, and I am willing to take the blows that come with it.
Otherwise, life is moving right along. I've noticed that my packing skills have become quite lazy. I am down to the random choices of 'take this in my car' or 'hurl this into the moving truck on top of all my other stuff' even though the most logical choice is to take advantage of the many empty boxes that are still littering my home. Ugh, packing.
Alright, I just realized that I am sitting here typing with my winter cap on, and my dog Bailey is moping in the other room all alone. He is the next one who will have to learn to accept change, so I am hoping he likes being an Oregon dog again. In the meantime, I am going to go get some rest and share my bed with him. Moving to the floor to sleep is one change Bailey won't have to make any time soon because he's too spoiled and I don't want to spring too many changes on him at once of course...at least that's my excuse for keeping a 90 pound heater in my bed for now.
Otherwise, life is moving right along. I've noticed that my packing skills have become quite lazy. I am down to the random choices of 'take this in my car' or 'hurl this into the moving truck on top of all my other stuff' even though the most logical choice is to take advantage of the many empty boxes that are still littering my home. Ugh, packing.
Alright, I just realized that I am sitting here typing with my winter cap on, and my dog Bailey is moping in the other room all alone. He is the next one who will have to learn to accept change, so I am hoping he likes being an Oregon dog again. In the meantime, I am going to go get some rest and share my bed with him. Moving to the floor to sleep is one change Bailey won't have to make any time soon because he's too spoiled and I don't want to spring too many changes on him at once of course...at least that's my excuse for keeping a 90 pound heater in my bed for now.
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Roughing It
This has been one of the toughest weeks I've had in a long time. I am in that stage of thinking "What the hell am I doing?" to "Yeah, I know why I am doing this and it is all for the best." I admit that the genuine fear I am feeling is not mixing well with the whole excitement component.
I was talking to my friend Beck yesterday on the phone and he asked if Mike and I were still getting along, to which I replied positively. He said, "Oh that must make it so much easier." No, not really. Mike and I have both agreed that it makes it all the more harder. I know I have talked about this before, but I think that it occasionally bumps us into the "Could we have made this work?" or "I wonder if it's too late for counseling" stage. I'm in that haze of remembering why we were together instead of why we broke up, and that is irritating as all hell because the reasons for breaking up have been present for a long time.
I am not in the best state of mind I admit, and I think that is contributing to my above thoughts. Last night I came down with a fever, and today it's been hovering around 102 degrees even with medicine. I don't have a solid job lined up yet, and my level of control is literally shot to hell at the moment...and that is something I have never been able to stand.
Letting go of what is familiar to me right now will probably turn out to be a great thing, but I think I am going to need to be reminded of that until this level of freaking out passes. Losing the 102 degree fever will help too I imagine.
I was talking to my friend Beck yesterday on the phone and he asked if Mike and I were still getting along, to which I replied positively. He said, "Oh that must make it so much easier." No, not really. Mike and I have both agreed that it makes it all the more harder. I know I have talked about this before, but I think that it occasionally bumps us into the "Could we have made this work?" or "I wonder if it's too late for counseling" stage. I'm in that haze of remembering why we were together instead of why we broke up, and that is irritating as all hell because the reasons for breaking up have been present for a long time.
I am not in the best state of mind I admit, and I think that is contributing to my above thoughts. Last night I came down with a fever, and today it's been hovering around 102 degrees even with medicine. I don't have a solid job lined up yet, and my level of control is literally shot to hell at the moment...and that is something I have never been able to stand.
Letting go of what is familiar to me right now will probably turn out to be a great thing, but I think I am going to need to be reminded of that until this level of freaking out passes. Losing the 102 degree fever will help too I imagine.
Friday, March 18, 2005
My Steel Jawed Friend and Other Thoughts
Tonight probably would have been interesting had I decided to brave the new snow and hit the town up in Park City. The idea of cruising down a snow covered canyon on what is probably one of the biggest nights for drunk drivers didn't sit too well with me though, so instead I decided to come home and continue the painful experience of job searching. Tomorrow brings an evening with friends and drinks that won't be dyed green, and that sounds a little more pleasing to me at this moment anyway.
Needless to say, I have no interest in talking about my job search. It's been semi-productive, but ultra frustrating for a girl who enjoys the perks of being a well treated supervisor with a nice paycheck. The idea of going in entry level somewhere again has my pride halfway down my throat, but not quite to my stomach...and I am a little too stubborn to give up and just let it get digested. Oh yeah, I don't want to talk about this.
Let's look to the future instead. My friend Brian Nelson is back in Portland from Anchorage, and I haven't seen him in four years. He's this itty bitty guy with more energy than twenty of us put together. He'd occasionally blow through Corvallis during college and bring a closet full of hard alcohol, many good stories, and then he'd be off again. He's had tongue studs so large they've impaired his speech and his body is covered in tattoos. Part of his jaw is steel from a helmetless motorcycle accident five years ago that I hear actually would have killed him had the helmet been on. Finding out your friend is in critical condition 2000 miles away is pretty upsetting, but he bounced back quickly and was even able to utter "I love you" over the phone through his wired shut jaw shortly after the accident. He's just another one of the friends I've valued having in my life, and it will be great to see him again.
Needless to say, I have no interest in talking about my job search. It's been semi-productive, but ultra frustrating for a girl who enjoys the perks of being a well treated supervisor with a nice paycheck. The idea of going in entry level somewhere again has my pride halfway down my throat, but not quite to my stomach...and I am a little too stubborn to give up and just let it get digested. Oh yeah, I don't want to talk about this.
Let's look to the future instead. My friend Brian Nelson is back in Portland from Anchorage, and I haven't seen him in four years. He's this itty bitty guy with more energy than twenty of us put together. He'd occasionally blow through Corvallis during college and bring a closet full of hard alcohol, many good stories, and then he'd be off again. He's had tongue studs so large they've impaired his speech and his body is covered in tattoos. Part of his jaw is steel from a helmetless motorcycle accident five years ago that I hear actually would have killed him had the helmet been on. Finding out your friend is in critical condition 2000 miles away is pretty upsetting, but he bounced back quickly and was even able to utter "I love you" over the phone through his wired shut jaw shortly after the accident. He's just another one of the friends I've valued having in my life, and it will be great to see him again.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
My Reflective Night
My dad called this weekend just to tell me that Jack Johnson was playing on Saturday Night Live and to say he looked forward to me coming home. Oddly enough, he called my ex and left the message on his phone (I think I am still used to writing that number as mine and gave it to him, oops). Well, Mike called me at work to pass on that a guy named 'Dan' (that is 'dad' by the way, and his name's actually Marc) from Washington had called for me to tell me this. I find the fact that my ex would forward messages from other men to me a sign of the respectful times...he had no idea the guy was my dad and this guy said 'love you' at the end of the call. It is an interesting dynamic of a broken relationship that we have built in the last two months I guess.
So everything is officially set in stone as far as 'moving on' goes. Mike scored his place today, and I solidified mine this past weekend. I can't help but feel a little sad about this, and it feels odd to admit that. It's kind of like we are finally signing divorce papers on a relationship that we knew had no more spark to carry it any further. I'm sure this situation would have been easier if we had voided feelings and been asses to each other, but I am glad that we have maintained a level of respect for each other. I have seen some ugly demises of other people's relationships, and they just make you want to say 'shut up and get over it' because they're just so full of s*@t talking and jabs to make one of them look like the bigger person. Only it just shrinks overall integrity instead.
Alright, enough on that, let me tell you what else is on my mind...summers in Oregon. I cannot wait to get back home and take a trip to Detroit with all my friends, head down to Bend for a long weekend by Spark's Lake, go to the coast and pitch a tent on the sand. Oregon summers in the outdoors are the best thing that I haven't been able to enjoy for three years, so this is big. I love walking around downtown on hot summer nights too, and the idea that I will be on the Waterfront in Portland or down in Ashland at Ithaca Park for the Fourth of July again has me getting a good form of stir craziness that's motivating me to start planning.
Anyway, I am ready to go and have fun, so I hope you're all ready to come along at some point. Only 1.5 weeks left til' I'm pounding on your doors.
So everything is officially set in stone as far as 'moving on' goes. Mike scored his place today, and I solidified mine this past weekend. I can't help but feel a little sad about this, and it feels odd to admit that. It's kind of like we are finally signing divorce papers on a relationship that we knew had no more spark to carry it any further. I'm sure this situation would have been easier if we had voided feelings and been asses to each other, but I am glad that we have maintained a level of respect for each other. I have seen some ugly demises of other people's relationships, and they just make you want to say 'shut up and get over it' because they're just so full of s*@t talking and jabs to make one of them look like the bigger person. Only it just shrinks overall integrity instead.
Alright, enough on that, let me tell you what else is on my mind...summers in Oregon. I cannot wait to get back home and take a trip to Detroit with all my friends, head down to Bend for a long weekend by Spark's Lake, go to the coast and pitch a tent on the sand. Oregon summers in the outdoors are the best thing that I haven't been able to enjoy for three years, so this is big. I love walking around downtown on hot summer nights too, and the idea that I will be on the Waterfront in Portland or down in Ashland at Ithaca Park for the Fourth of July again has me getting a good form of stir craziness that's motivating me to start planning.
Anyway, I am ready to go and have fun, so I hope you're all ready to come along at some point. Only 1.5 weeks left til' I'm pounding on your doors.
Sunday, March 13, 2005
The Long Long List of the Week
This week was good, fast too. So fast, I am kind of blurring everything together...or maybe that's just because I am so tired that I may just fall asleep right at my desk. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
GOOD
Saturday night, I finally got to eat sushi again and it was so good (and free) that I wanted to go home and just go to sleep. But then I managed to stay up until 4:00 am again. Whatever. Anyway, it was really good for landlocked, flown in daily I guess, and it made me excited to go home and go get it more often.
My favorite (and only) big sister Jennifer has decided that she wants to possibly move to Ashland, which means that she will be sooooo close to me that I will be able to visit all the time. Not only that, I will get to watch my cute nephew Cedar throw more fits (oh and grow up too). I am pretty big on living close to family since mine is so tiny, so the whole idea has me excited right now.
Raises are a great thing to get, and somehow I managed to score one for my last two paychecks. Going corporate back in November has its advantages I guess. And a nice boss helps.
I just scored the only vacancy at the Anderson Apartments, and I am moving in there in less than two weeks. This is actually one of my best friend's houses, and I get a whole floor to myself. It should be fun to have friends directly upstairs, and Jess belongs to my gym too, so we can motivate each other, what plusses.
NOT SO GOOD
Moving is expensive! I would love for some company to call and say they are paying for my move, but I guess that would require having a job lined up first. I am getting close I think, but maybe I will appreciate the free and money reducing vacation in between my job now and the next one.
Along that same line, I hate packing oddly shaped things that don't fit in anything. I'm scared that I will break my row of cool framed pictures from Spain, a nice lamp that's a little too long...okay, this is just my laziness in not finding the right box, huh?
The friends I am moving in with had to get rid of their goat Lola. She headbutted me once as I sat peacefully watching a movie. But she was cute, and I am sure I will miss the prospect of being able to play drinking games in relation to the number of times she cries in one night...but at least my dog won't be able to eat her.
This one is really in the good category too, but come on, my friend Jon just scored an awesome job...in another state. And not the one I am moving to. I can't tell you how happy I am for him, but once again, damn, I wanted him to move here because we always have a blast.
And one more. I am happy to simplify my life to one pet. But I have to admit that leaving Louie, the once feral cat I rescued, and Mason, the overly neurotic psycho dog, has me a little sentimental. But the reduction from twelve paws to four and the lack of fur all over everything I own is going to be great, and I can always call Mike and see how they are doing.
And that is the long list of things I feel the need to like and dislike this time around.
GOOD
Saturday night, I finally got to eat sushi again and it was so good (and free) that I wanted to go home and just go to sleep. But then I managed to stay up until 4:00 am again. Whatever. Anyway, it was really good for landlocked, flown in daily I guess, and it made me excited to go home and go get it more often.
My favorite (and only) big sister Jennifer has decided that she wants to possibly move to Ashland, which means that she will be sooooo close to me that I will be able to visit all the time. Not only that, I will get to watch my cute nephew Cedar throw more fits (oh and grow up too). I am pretty big on living close to family since mine is so tiny, so the whole idea has me excited right now.
Raises are a great thing to get, and somehow I managed to score one for my last two paychecks. Going corporate back in November has its advantages I guess. And a nice boss helps.
I just scored the only vacancy at the Anderson Apartments, and I am moving in there in less than two weeks. This is actually one of my best friend's houses, and I get a whole floor to myself. It should be fun to have friends directly upstairs, and Jess belongs to my gym too, so we can motivate each other, what plusses.
NOT SO GOOD
Moving is expensive! I would love for some company to call and say they are paying for my move, but I guess that would require having a job lined up first. I am getting close I think, but maybe I will appreciate the free and money reducing vacation in between my job now and the next one.
Along that same line, I hate packing oddly shaped things that don't fit in anything. I'm scared that I will break my row of cool framed pictures from Spain, a nice lamp that's a little too long...okay, this is just my laziness in not finding the right box, huh?
The friends I am moving in with had to get rid of their goat Lola. She headbutted me once as I sat peacefully watching a movie. But she was cute, and I am sure I will miss the prospect of being able to play drinking games in relation to the number of times she cries in one night...but at least my dog won't be able to eat her.
This one is really in the good category too, but come on, my friend Jon just scored an awesome job...in another state. And not the one I am moving to. I can't tell you how happy I am for him, but once again, damn, I wanted him to move here because we always have a blast.
And one more. I am happy to simplify my life to one pet. But I have to admit that leaving Louie, the once feral cat I rescued, and Mason, the overly neurotic psycho dog, has me a little sentimental. But the reduction from twelve paws to four and the lack of fur all over everything I own is going to be great, and I can always call Mike and see how they are doing.
And that is the long list of things I feel the need to like and dislike this time around.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Bright Blue Plastic Camel Please
Why can't I just commit to the idea of going to bed at a normal time? I was all ready, headed for the pillow, and decided my brain needed to unload...I swear PM bedtimes will return to my life someday soon.
Anyway, I am officially at the two week point of the big moving truck arriving in front of my house. I am in a blender right now and the decision has not been made as to what form I would taste best in. I personally would like to stop at on the rocks, extra sweet. This means I'd have never ended up in the blender anyway, but here are my unruly feelings of the moment:
Terrified, but excited about change. It is pretty big for me to admit the terror part, but holy shit, every night I feel like calling my friends 'just to talk'...struggles or no struggles, I know that I will have some green ass grass on the other side because of them, and that helps to curb the fears of not knowing or having my ideal perfectionist's control. I've got that glow on the inside though...hell yeah.
Worried I will have to eat cheap white bread and ramen for a month...though I did get a preliminary screening with DHS today via mail. My anxiety in the job search category is beyond ridiculous...I've got the skills, the experience, oh and that $40,000 piece of paper hanging on my wall. Wait, does that mean anything anymore?
Crying at work when I see pictures of my 'kids' on slideshows, and almost tearing up when people ask me when my last day is. Now this one is just rough, and I can easily admit that I will miss Oakley to no end...but also be happy to make a change. But damn, I will miss this squirrelly bunch of teenagers in need of 'therapeutic attention' and all my humor appreciating co-workers.
Wondering about the male species and if I will just try push them away with big pointy sticks. Honestly, the most captivating one of those I know is probably stuck many miles away for a while, much to my self admitted 'bummed-ness.' I am guessing I will enjoy visits from time to time, see what happens down the road, and live my life with absolute 'hmmmm, you're not good enough compared to that one' ideals for a while. That is until Jack Johnson shows up on my doorstep. Still not happening? Damn. This is all not to say that I'm not batting my eyelashes, but I have some worthy standards to uphold, and I'm not in any kind of rush (being attached for five years will do that to you). Boys from 'Bahston' who come up to my table and then refer to me as "Sarah blue eyes" for an hour are cute, but I already have a big sweet dog at home...I'm gonna be selective as all hell.
My life is up in the air. I am anxious, antsy, happy, impatient. But when I strip it all down to the stuff I already know, it looks to me as if I have a damn good foundation waiting at the end of the road. That blender's not making it any further than Idaho before it lands on the side of the freeway in a million pieces.
Anyway, I am officially at the two week point of the big moving truck arriving in front of my house. I am in a blender right now and the decision has not been made as to what form I would taste best in. I personally would like to stop at on the rocks, extra sweet. This means I'd have never ended up in the blender anyway, but here are my unruly feelings of the moment:
Terrified, but excited about change. It is pretty big for me to admit the terror part, but holy shit, every night I feel like calling my friends 'just to talk'...struggles or no struggles, I know that I will have some green ass grass on the other side because of them, and that helps to curb the fears of not knowing or having my ideal perfectionist's control. I've got that glow on the inside though...hell yeah.
Worried I will have to eat cheap white bread and ramen for a month...though I did get a preliminary screening with DHS today via mail. My anxiety in the job search category is beyond ridiculous...I've got the skills, the experience, oh and that $40,000 piece of paper hanging on my wall. Wait, does that mean anything anymore?
Crying at work when I see pictures of my 'kids' on slideshows, and almost tearing up when people ask me when my last day is. Now this one is just rough, and I can easily admit that I will miss Oakley to no end...but also be happy to make a change. But damn, I will miss this squirrelly bunch of teenagers in need of 'therapeutic attention' and all my humor appreciating co-workers.
Wondering about the male species and if I will just try push them away with big pointy sticks. Honestly, the most captivating one of those I know is probably stuck many miles away for a while, much to my self admitted 'bummed-ness.' I am guessing I will enjoy visits from time to time, see what happens down the road, and live my life with absolute 'hmmmm, you're not good enough compared to that one' ideals for a while. That is until Jack Johnson shows up on my doorstep. Still not happening? Damn. This is all not to say that I'm not batting my eyelashes, but I have some worthy standards to uphold, and I'm not in any kind of rush (being attached for five years will do that to you). Boys from 'Bahston' who come up to my table and then refer to me as "Sarah blue eyes" for an hour are cute, but I already have a big sweet dog at home...I'm gonna be selective as all hell.
My life is up in the air. I am anxious, antsy, happy, impatient. But when I strip it all down to the stuff I already know, it looks to me as if I have a damn good foundation waiting at the end of the road. That blender's not making it any further than Idaho before it lands on the side of the freeway in a million pieces.
Sunday, March 06, 2005
What I Liked (and Didn't) This Week
Ahhhh, another week down, and it passed by with such speed and sunny skies that I am forgetting that it is still technically winter and that I have only 20 days left until I bid farewell to Utah. It's full once again of good and not so good things, so here they are...
GOOD
I won't spend too long on this one because I already dedicated a whole entry to him, but Jack Johnson's new CD In Between Dreams is absolutely spectacular (and yes, the crush is still lingering for him). 'Better Together' is adorable, as his the ode 'Do You Remember,' which I am guessing he wrote for his wife, sigh.
A 400 pound guy at Best Buy the other day was wearing a t-shirt that had Chick Magnet written on it in huge yellow letters. This made me laugh instantly, and I am guessing he knew exactly what he was doing. If he didn't, I would move this to the 'not so good' category.
I admit I was actually bored by The Motorcycle Diaries, but the scenery was so beautiful that I felt like I was on a trip with them...on my own nicer bike, not the beat up Mighty One. It motivated me to remember that travel is a necessity in life and not just a luxury because it's something I truly enjoy.
Life is getting easier as I run out of things to pack, so that is worth mentioning this time around.
NOT SO GOOD
Living with your ex-boyfriend: So we still get along just fine, but I have come to realize why sitcoms about this situation always suck...because it just sucks any way you slice it. Everything that minorly annoyed you about your significant other becomes glaringly irritating when you have broken the chain that once allowed you to complain about it. I imagine this will get its own entry at some point, so let me stop now.
My brother Jay just hit the quarter century mark today, and that just makes me feel old. He is such a gorgeous kid, okay, not a kid. He still has some growing up to do, but I love him all the same.
The Norwalk Virus lands here obviously. What an evil, loathsome piece of hell. Nothing more to say about it.
We Don't Live Here Anymore was possibly one of the most disturbing movies a girl can watch when she hopes to have one healthy and happy marriage one day. Let me emphasize the word one! If I or my husband acts like any of the characters in this movie, I will never get to achieve that goal. Don't get me wrong, it was a decent flick, but damn.
And that is about all that makes it on this week.
GOOD
I won't spend too long on this one because I already dedicated a whole entry to him, but Jack Johnson's new CD In Between Dreams is absolutely spectacular (and yes, the crush is still lingering for him). 'Better Together' is adorable, as his the ode 'Do You Remember,' which I am guessing he wrote for his wife, sigh.
A 400 pound guy at Best Buy the other day was wearing a t-shirt that had Chick Magnet written on it in huge yellow letters. This made me laugh instantly, and I am guessing he knew exactly what he was doing. If he didn't, I would move this to the 'not so good' category.
I admit I was actually bored by The Motorcycle Diaries, but the scenery was so beautiful that I felt like I was on a trip with them...on my own nicer bike, not the beat up Mighty One. It motivated me to remember that travel is a necessity in life and not just a luxury because it's something I truly enjoy.
Life is getting easier as I run out of things to pack, so that is worth mentioning this time around.
NOT SO GOOD
Living with your ex-boyfriend: So we still get along just fine, but I have come to realize why sitcoms about this situation always suck...because it just sucks any way you slice it. Everything that minorly annoyed you about your significant other becomes glaringly irritating when you have broken the chain that once allowed you to complain about it. I imagine this will get its own entry at some point, so let me stop now.
My brother Jay just hit the quarter century mark today, and that just makes me feel old. He is such a gorgeous kid, okay, not a kid. He still has some growing up to do, but I love him all the same.
The Norwalk Virus lands here obviously. What an evil, loathsome piece of hell. Nothing more to say about it.
We Don't Live Here Anymore was possibly one of the most disturbing movies a girl can watch when she hopes to have one healthy and happy marriage one day. Let me emphasize the word one! If I or my husband acts like any of the characters in this movie, I will never get to achieve that goal. Don't get me wrong, it was a decent flick, but damn.
And that is about all that makes it on this week.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Packing With Obituaries
Tonight, I poured myself into several boxes of quality packing, as I am running out of time and this is the first occasion in almost three years that I can't pull off a "ghetto move" where I just throw massive amounts of crap on the seats of my car and drive fifteen miles per hour around ten corners to the next house. No, this 800 mile adventure requires a little more cushioning and preparation.
I must admit, it has been an enjoyable experience crumpling and tearing the many pages I've saved daily of the overly right leaning Salt Lake Tribune to wrap up my breakables...but I realize that I have a problem using the obituaries.
I can compare defacing the memories of these recently departed humans to the time my cat Louie performed a cold blooded killing on an adorable little sparrow. It was able to cling onto life for a few minutes after I ran to its rescue, but sadly died. After yelling at Louie and grounding him to the house, I scooped up the dead bird and threw him in the garbage can. A pang of guilt hit me thirty seconds later...how could I just toss a lost life into a vat of filth? I retrieved him out of the garbage can, grabbed a shovel, and treated him to a proper burial in the backyard.
Now, some people may get pissed just at the idea of me comparing dead birds to those souls who have moved on to bigger and better things, but I am one of those people who will trap a bee or spider in a cup and then release it to newfound safety and freedom outside...life is life, and I don't want to be the centipede who gets her legs torn off by a five year old kid in my next life, you know what I mean?
So the pictures of dead people in the obits don't represent everything... that's why they have funerals with caskets and urns. I remember when my best friend Greg died, we took his box of ashes out to brunch and sat a pack of Camels on him, ordered him a cup of coffee, talked to him, and even kissed him goodbye as we left...I guess losing someone you love makes you a little crazy for a while, but my God, I know I still blow him kisses toward the heavens now and then. Good thing is Greg's scattered over a beautiful mountain range in Anchorage, Alaska now instead of still kicking it on a table at Carrows (though I hope he's still enjoying his nicotine and caffeine because nothing can hurt him now).
Besides the point, every time a page of memorials land in my hands, I feel a twinge of disrespect...so I take a few minutes to look them over and I offer some silent condolences. If they look down and see the pretty pieces of pottery and vases their memorials are being wrapped around, I bet they won't mind anyway.
I must admit, it has been an enjoyable experience crumpling and tearing the many pages I've saved daily of the overly right leaning Salt Lake Tribune to wrap up my breakables...but I realize that I have a problem using the obituaries.
I can compare defacing the memories of these recently departed humans to the time my cat Louie performed a cold blooded killing on an adorable little sparrow. It was able to cling onto life for a few minutes after I ran to its rescue, but sadly died. After yelling at Louie and grounding him to the house, I scooped up the dead bird and threw him in the garbage can. A pang of guilt hit me thirty seconds later...how could I just toss a lost life into a vat of filth? I retrieved him out of the garbage can, grabbed a shovel, and treated him to a proper burial in the backyard.
Now, some people may get pissed just at the idea of me comparing dead birds to those souls who have moved on to bigger and better things, but I am one of those people who will trap a bee or spider in a cup and then release it to newfound safety and freedom outside...life is life, and I don't want to be the centipede who gets her legs torn off by a five year old kid in my next life, you know what I mean?
So the pictures of dead people in the obits don't represent everything... that's why they have funerals with caskets and urns. I remember when my best friend Greg died, we took his box of ashes out to brunch and sat a pack of Camels on him, ordered him a cup of coffee, talked to him, and even kissed him goodbye as we left...I guess losing someone you love makes you a little crazy for a while, but my God, I know I still blow him kisses toward the heavens now and then. Good thing is Greg's scattered over a beautiful mountain range in Anchorage, Alaska now instead of still kicking it on a table at Carrows (though I hope he's still enjoying his nicotine and caffeine because nothing can hurt him now).
Besides the point, every time a page of memorials land in my hands, I feel a twinge of disrespect...so I take a few minutes to look them over and I offer some silent condolences. If they look down and see the pretty pieces of pottery and vases their memorials are being wrapped around, I bet they won't mind anyway.
Friday, March 04, 2005
A Dead Record
Wednesday was my first sick day in my two and a half years of employment at Oakley. I have a mere three weeks to go at this job, and this damn Norwalk Virus that 75% of the school has gotten hits me like a brick wall for 24 hours...it's amazing what a measly 99.9 temperature will do to you when you are used to perfect health...my best friends were Thera Flu and Jello. Walking seemed like mastering a perfect tango sequence. This was bad enough that I didn't even eat any cereal all day, so you know I must have been suffering.
Now, I value days off, but we have PTO that includes all our days in one, so I like to use them for vacation and payouts upon quitting...so much that I am working a 13 hour day on Monday to get the day back. But forever gone is that proud feeling of conquering illness for all of job eternity. There was this sense of pride in me that I never got sick...and now it is like my visit to the dentist last year when he said, "Oh, so you haven't had a cavity yet? Well that record is broken today!" What an asshole.
I guess I'm just glad I am over it so fast. Some people were laid out on their bathroom floors for three full days or at the hospital with IVs in their arms. I just had to stay home and watch Ray and sleep the day away in my big comfy bed. I even managed to have good enough dreams to wipe out the discomfort for a while. But the record is gone, the illness free streak is tarnished, and this girl better not be getting sick again for a long time.
Now, I value days off, but we have PTO that includes all our days in one, so I like to use them for vacation and payouts upon quitting...so much that I am working a 13 hour day on Monday to get the day back. But forever gone is that proud feeling of conquering illness for all of job eternity. There was this sense of pride in me that I never got sick...and now it is like my visit to the dentist last year when he said, "Oh, so you haven't had a cavity yet? Well that record is broken today!" What an asshole.
I guess I'm just glad I am over it so fast. Some people were laid out on their bathroom floors for three full days or at the hospital with IVs in their arms. I just had to stay home and watch Ray and sleep the day away in my big comfy bed. I even managed to have good enough dreams to wipe out the discomfort for a while. But the record is gone, the illness free streak is tarnished, and this girl better not be getting sick again for a long time.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Jack Johnson Covers Josh Duhamel
Jack Johnson's new album In Between Dreams came out today, and MSN decided to toss his new video for 'Sitting Waiting Wishing' on their video highlights for all to check out. Now, I once recognized this guy just by seeing a picture of the back of his head during a room search at Oakley, and this video once again reminds me why Jack is a worthy celeb crush. I mean, look at him...tall, perfect tan surfer body, adorable smile on a softly chiseled and bright eyed face...seriously hard to stop ogling. I think I will put in a bid for him on eBay and then frame him in a shadow box with a guitar and never let him go.
So not only has Jack Johnson proven himself a talented and accomplished musician with three quality albums, he also makes films, used to surf professionally, and stays quietly out of the lame Hollywood spotlight. Instead he makes his home one mile from where he grew up in Hawaii with his equally beautiful wife, records music in his sound proofed garage, and surfs his days away. He also appears to have an appreciation for the simple things in life...tunefully mocks television, pollution, and technological over-advancements, and he's even putting on a show in Bend, Oregon this August...a lovely mecca of nature and perfection that is sure to bounce his music wonderfully off the mountainsides...looks like I will have to go see him in person finally. Maybe I'll catch him at the Gorge too.
Anyway, if you've never given Jack Johnson a chance, check out his music...then remember to take a long awestruck look at him too...either way, you are sure to turn into a fan.
So not only has Jack Johnson proven himself a talented and accomplished musician with three quality albums, he also makes films, used to surf professionally, and stays quietly out of the lame Hollywood spotlight. Instead he makes his home one mile from where he grew up in Hawaii with his equally beautiful wife, records music in his sound proofed garage, and surfs his days away. He also appears to have an appreciation for the simple things in life...tunefully mocks television, pollution, and technological over-advancements, and he's even putting on a show in Bend, Oregon this August...a lovely mecca of nature and perfection that is sure to bounce his music wonderfully off the mountainsides...looks like I will have to go see him in person finally. Maybe I'll catch him at the Gorge too.
Anyway, if you've never given Jack Johnson a chance, check out his music...then remember to take a long awestruck look at him too...either way, you are sure to turn into a fan.
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