I pulled the plug on a 5+ year relationship a few weeks ago, and since then I have not had one regret or second thought about doing it. Maybe these are some of the signs that I would feel this way (and no, I don't think this is funny, just a reality check for what I will not let happen next time)...
1) After returning back to Utah from a ten day trip home in September, my boss asked me if I missed my boyfriend, to which I replied, "Well, I had a lot of fun," and to which I thought...no, I missed my dog more than him.
2) Hey Robin, remember "My Skin" by Natalie Merchant. I was relating to it waaaaay too much.
3) Likewise with any movie where the couple didn't make it down the aisle. Inside, I actually cheered for them.
4) I kept calling my friends in Oregon to cry to them about my need to come home...thanks for the support guys.
5) For Christmas last year, we bought a dining room table. This year, a computer. And Valentine's day...we hit the big REI sale. Now I love that sale too, but it's just not romantic by any means. So not romantic that the ex and I are actually going to it again this this year together to load me up with camping supplies so we both have our share when I move. Now practicality is not always bad in a gift, but I will never again have it be a regular thing.
6) The proposal received an answer of "I guess so." Then people had to call me to find out we were engaged. Then I didn't wear my ring on most of my last trip home...I clearly remember hucking it in a bowl of nuts one night actually.
7) "I love you" turned into "luv you" tagged on at the end of phone calls every now and then, but never those bonafide beautiful three words.
8) We never fought. Sounds good right? How about never arguing, communicating, or talking about anything that was wrong. You gotta communicate to keep it going.
9) I started to see girls as "potential future girlfriends" for him and was completely keen on the idea of setting them up dates.
10) You get the picture.
So it took a while for all this to commence into a breakup. Why? Who knows. We all hope for the best, try for the best. Then on occasion, we realize that the best is only going to come in the arms of someone else.
My boss, who is crazy but wise beyond his years, reminded me to remember what I did to help it all go south too. I totally agree with him. It's easy to get caught up in who fucked up the most, but in the end, what you do and don't take with you into the next phase will make or break that relationship too. Let's hope I am getting the idea.
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1 comment:
Man, I'm glad I'm not HIM reading this. Ouch.
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