I got snared into working tonight somehow. Here's how: Decided to lay on my couch and doze in and out of watching Garden State this afternoon after my interview because 1) I have been lacking in sleep, and 2) I still cannot get over this movie. I have not replayed a movie this many times in years, but something about it...damn it's good. Anyway, I got a call around 1:00 from the supervisor, begging me to come to work. Tired and out of it, I somehow caved and agreed. But then I called back literally one minute later to recant. Nope, I was the LAST chance, NO ONE else could do it. So shit, goodbye Friday night...just got home.
My time at this place is fortunately coming to an end because at 3:00 this afternoon, my interviewees from the morning called me back and gave me A NEW JOB! And it's a supervisory position too. Four days a week, Su-We swing shift, so every Friday and Saturday is mine and apparently there is special treatment for sups on holidays here despite the '24 hour facility' thing.
The crazy in me has decided to stick out staying very on-call and available occasionally to the hellish lockdown because I am still a little on the poor side. Everyone is at work on Thursday and Friday morning anyway, so I figure that I may as well pick up some extra bucks from time to time.
At the new place, I'll be supervising two units, one for adolescents needing acute care and one for teenagers who are easing out into the world again. The teen unit is up and running, but still in development phase, so they are excited to have my creative input. That factor is one reason that I accepted a job in the residential line of work again...I love knowing that I will be utilizing and donating my creative thoughts again, and the supervisor status helps too.
So joy, I finally have a job that happily rounds out my move back to Oregon. I have been here exactly a month now, and I'm liking it. Next on the agenda...a good camping trip. Just need the weather to cooperate a little first.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Music Worth a Few Bucks
Dave Matthews Band has a new CD called Stand Up coming out May 10th. I will be running, not walking to the store to buy this. That's right, BUY this. I don't care if I can download the CD in three seconds for free...anything new by these guys earns a spot on my CD shelf in real packaged form. I don't care if they are getting old and Dave himself will probably start hacking up parts of his lung thanks to his chain smoking ways soon...I still love them. To me, they epitomize make-out music in high school, road trips in college, camping in the summer. Joy!
On another note, I have decided that I will go and buy Tori Amos's new CD too. I thought I was over her, but really, I cannot just let her collection sit unfinished on my shelf.
I am a finisher with a few select crews, including the above, Outkast, Tom Petty, TTWS, Sarah McLachlan, John Mayer, Pete Yorn, and REM. They are the ones who have made it commercially, but still drag my money out of my wallet. After Around the Sun, I'm not sure REM deserves my money anymore, so I think I will pass the buck onto Jack Johnson and do him justice by actually going to buy his CDs. He has a kid now, so I need to support his increasingly perfect life...damn.
Otherwise, the newbies will need to keep earning my respect via the 'free' circuit before I add them to the money list. I think I should add the likes of The Postal Service soon because they're a side project that I don't want to see fade anytime soon. It's really the only side project I feel I CAN commit to right now, so I better show my affection soon right?
On another note, I have decided that I will go and buy Tori Amos's new CD too. I thought I was over her, but really, I cannot just let her collection sit unfinished on my shelf.
I am a finisher with a few select crews, including the above, Outkast, Tom Petty, TTWS, Sarah McLachlan, John Mayer, Pete Yorn, and REM. They are the ones who have made it commercially, but still drag my money out of my wallet. After Around the Sun, I'm not sure REM deserves my money anymore, so I think I will pass the buck onto Jack Johnson and do him justice by actually going to buy his CDs. He has a kid now, so I need to support his increasingly perfect life...damn.
Otherwise, the newbies will need to keep earning my respect via the 'free' circuit before I add them to the money list. I think I should add the likes of The Postal Service soon because they're a side project that I don't want to see fade anytime soon. It's really the only side project I feel I CAN commit to right now, so I better show my affection soon right?
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Cheesy Song Pride
As I have reported in the past, iPods are fun. You can upload the most random selection of music into it, and play the hell out of songs you almost forgot existed, or are too embarrassed to admit you love. That's my goal now...time to admit the worst songs I blast in my car when no one is in the passenger seat (except maybe my sister Jennifer):
Forever Young/Alphaville, Total Eclipse of the Heart/Bonnie Tyler, and Oooh Child/The Five Stairsteps: These are purely related to my adoration for my sister and our obsession with playing this trivia radio station at night that intertwined oldies, songs of videos my mom recorded off of MTV, and really cheesy songs in movies we would watch and fall in love with. So there you go, most songs tied to my sister and I in the 80s were ultra bad, but still so ridiculously endearing to me to this day that I love them.
We've Got Tonight/Bob Seger: Okay, I am obsessed with The Wonder Years, and still really pissed that it hasn't been released on DVD yet. I will seriously scream in excitement the day I see it on the shelves. Until that day, I have this song, which was played in the episode where Kevin and Winnie say "I love you" to each other for the first time (after her car wreck with the tough older boyfriend). I can see the scene now. Sigh.
Hands to Heaven/Breathe, Every Time You Go Away/Simply Red, Sweet Lullaby/Deep Forest: Purely sentimental here. When my good friend Greg died, the first two songs kept playing on my satellite station at work right after. I'll relate it to when someone breaks up with you and all the songs seem to glorify being dumped. This time it was a bit of a different story, and it generally ended with me leaving the floor to cry my eyes out. Luckily, now I just sing along and think about him. Anyone who knew Greg understands the last one...part of his 'do not disturb' chill time in his room of course. And I still play Life Goes On by Tupac which I know every word to and we played at his funeral. Sigh again, this boy will always be with us, and so will the overly sappy songs that remind me of him.
Back for Good/Take That: Redemption here is that Robbie Williams is semi entertaining and was a part of this group, but reeeeaaaallly, this reminds me of a long weekend with Aimee and our friend Litti in high school. We played Alanis Morrissette while exploring Portland on our own, and played this song in between over and over. I even admit that I thought that the video filmed with cliche' rain and hot boys falling to their knees was 'so cool' at the time. And of course, my on and off high school love was a pro at breaking up with me and begging me back. He worked it for a year and a half, but I finally got the last laugh. Ha, I love this song...and I play it, oh yeah.
Steal My Sunshine/Len, You Get What You Give/New Radicals: No excuse, they're awful, but I just don't care. They remind me of my first term at OSU...maybe listening to these fed into the reason I only got a 1.48 GPA my first term there.
That's just a few of my big ones. If the windows are rolled up on a nice day, there is also a good chance that I am blasting The Righteous Brothers, The Association, Joni Mitchell, James Taylor, songs from the Living in Oblivion 80's music collection, Dr. Dre, or the entire Footloose soundtrack. Maybe I should just get a convertible and blow by unashamed, but some of those Footloose songs are really bad, let me tell you.
Forever Young/Alphaville, Total Eclipse of the Heart/Bonnie Tyler, and Oooh Child/The Five Stairsteps: These are purely related to my adoration for my sister and our obsession with playing this trivia radio station at night that intertwined oldies, songs of videos my mom recorded off of MTV, and really cheesy songs in movies we would watch and fall in love with. So there you go, most songs tied to my sister and I in the 80s were ultra bad, but still so ridiculously endearing to me to this day that I love them.
We've Got Tonight/Bob Seger: Okay, I am obsessed with The Wonder Years, and still really pissed that it hasn't been released on DVD yet. I will seriously scream in excitement the day I see it on the shelves. Until that day, I have this song, which was played in the episode where Kevin and Winnie say "I love you" to each other for the first time (after her car wreck with the tough older boyfriend). I can see the scene now. Sigh.
Hands to Heaven/Breathe, Every Time You Go Away/Simply Red, Sweet Lullaby/Deep Forest: Purely sentimental here. When my good friend Greg died, the first two songs kept playing on my satellite station at work right after. I'll relate it to when someone breaks up with you and all the songs seem to glorify being dumped. This time it was a bit of a different story, and it generally ended with me leaving the floor to cry my eyes out. Luckily, now I just sing along and think about him. Anyone who knew Greg understands the last one...part of his 'do not disturb' chill time in his room of course. And I still play Life Goes On by Tupac which I know every word to and we played at his funeral. Sigh again, this boy will always be with us, and so will the overly sappy songs that remind me of him.
Back for Good/Take That: Redemption here is that Robbie Williams is semi entertaining and was a part of this group, but reeeeaaaallly, this reminds me of a long weekend with Aimee and our friend Litti in high school. We played Alanis Morrissette while exploring Portland on our own, and played this song in between over and over. I even admit that I thought that the video filmed with cliche' rain and hot boys falling to their knees was 'so cool' at the time. And of course, my on and off high school love was a pro at breaking up with me and begging me back. He worked it for a year and a half, but I finally got the last laugh. Ha, I love this song...and I play it, oh yeah.
Steal My Sunshine/Len, You Get What You Give/New Radicals: No excuse, they're awful, but I just don't care. They remind me of my first term at OSU...maybe listening to these fed into the reason I only got a 1.48 GPA my first term there.
That's just a few of my big ones. If the windows are rolled up on a nice day, there is also a good chance that I am blasting The Righteous Brothers, The Association, Joni Mitchell, James Taylor, songs from the Living in Oblivion 80's music collection, Dr. Dre, or the entire Footloose soundtrack. Maybe I should just get a convertible and blow by unashamed, but some of those Footloose songs are really bad, let me tell you.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
The Rained Out Week in Review
I've decided that instead of listing the good and bad this week, I'll just offer my ramblings on life in general. Here's what's up at the moment:
The extended family:
Friday, I headed out to watch my half sister Alexis pitch for her Mt. Hood CC softball team. Still horribly bad at gauging traffic, I arrived after 90 minutes of driving hell only to see the second game quickly get stormed out with thunder, lightning, and rain within a few pitches. I did get to see her strike someone out though, so that's a start.
Well, Adam (the cute boy) came and met me to watch the game, but the rain out created an odd second meeting that had us hanging out with my dad, Alexis, and her fiancee' Ben for half the night. I guarantee neither one of us had any intention of glorifying the fact that this was an untimely 'meet the fam' situation, but luckily, it went fine.
Hanging out with my family felt extremely familiar and normal. We sat around listening to a CD my dad picked up and looked at pictures that are going into Alexis and Ben's wedding reception slide show. My dad continues to show alarming similarities to me, and he is also a really funny guy. I like that because I always liked the dads who were annoyingly bothersome instead of just sitting in the corner hiding out and ignoring everyone. I always wanted one, and now I have one. Truly better late than never.
Side projects:
So this term came about my first weekend here when a bunch of us decided to drink a lot. We started talking about the likes of Modest Mouse and The Postal Service...bands that have members who play in other groups and musical styles. The idea to lend the term to dating just seemed logical. It may appear a heartless label, but who cares, it's easy to say.
I have no desire to move anyone into a higher category than 'side project' right now, so landing in here is Adam. We've hung out a couple more times, and he remains a cutie who can put a smile on my face. I'm not feeling the need to attach exclusively to anyone at all though, a sign that I need more side projects first. Hell, five and a half years with the same guy...I'm not interested in having that happen again anytime soon unless some guy sets off some serious electric shockwaves. And even then, I like the idea of staying single for a while.
Hitting the town:
It is generally a rarity for me to do things on my own, but last night when my coworker called to invite me to a party in SE Portland, I decided to take part. Besides knowing, that as a recently single girl, I need to venture outside my comfort zone and 'get out there,' this coworker who called is an unarguably cute and very intelligent guy who almost has a PsyD degree in Clinical Psych. Hey, side projects could be anywhere at this point, right? So I realized that this was the first time in a long time that I didn't drag anyone else along with me. And besides being 'oddly attacked' by the cute coworker's exotic pet that he is training to be a therapy animal, I enjoyed going it alone.
Jobzilla:
I had a second interview last week that I feel probably will end with a 'thanks but we've hired internally' and I have another second interview with a different company on Friday. I am applying for more jobs like crazy and hope to just exit the rez field for a while. I have found solace in the NOC shift at work, though I am back on a regular schedule next week again. Some of the people I work with are really cool though, so at least I may gain another social group out of this poorly executed company. I give this place two more years...it's that bad.
Alright, nothing more to report except that if I had a Not So Good category this week, Amores Perros would be listed. I don't care if it is a great movie, I almost cried just seeing the dead dogs in the first few scenes and had to leave the room. Dog lovers beware...in my opinion, it's not for us.
Lastly, when I wrote a friend in October and told him that I was freaking about getting married, he wrote back and told me, "You're not ready. Break up, move home and find yourself." I didn't think that I needed to do the whole 'find yourself' bit, but it is clear to me that I'm doing just that right now. You know who you are if you told me this, so thanks for the advice...oh, and are you dead? Seriously man, where the hell are my emails?
The extended family:
Friday, I headed out to watch my half sister Alexis pitch for her Mt. Hood CC softball team. Still horribly bad at gauging traffic, I arrived after 90 minutes of driving hell only to see the second game quickly get stormed out with thunder, lightning, and rain within a few pitches. I did get to see her strike someone out though, so that's a start.
Well, Adam (the cute boy) came and met me to watch the game, but the rain out created an odd second meeting that had us hanging out with my dad, Alexis, and her fiancee' Ben for half the night. I guarantee neither one of us had any intention of glorifying the fact that this was an untimely 'meet the fam' situation, but luckily, it went fine.
Hanging out with my family felt extremely familiar and normal. We sat around listening to a CD my dad picked up and looked at pictures that are going into Alexis and Ben's wedding reception slide show. My dad continues to show alarming similarities to me, and he is also a really funny guy. I like that because I always liked the dads who were annoyingly bothersome instead of just sitting in the corner hiding out and ignoring everyone. I always wanted one, and now I have one. Truly better late than never.
Side projects:
So this term came about my first weekend here when a bunch of us decided to drink a lot. We started talking about the likes of Modest Mouse and The Postal Service...bands that have members who play in other groups and musical styles. The idea to lend the term to dating just seemed logical. It may appear a heartless label, but who cares, it's easy to say.
I have no desire to move anyone into a higher category than 'side project' right now, so landing in here is Adam. We've hung out a couple more times, and he remains a cutie who can put a smile on my face. I'm not feeling the need to attach exclusively to anyone at all though, a sign that I need more side projects first. Hell, five and a half years with the same guy...I'm not interested in having that happen again anytime soon unless some guy sets off some serious electric shockwaves. And even then, I like the idea of staying single for a while.
Hitting the town:
It is generally a rarity for me to do things on my own, but last night when my coworker called to invite me to a party in SE Portland, I decided to take part. Besides knowing, that as a recently single girl, I need to venture outside my comfort zone and 'get out there,' this coworker who called is an unarguably cute and very intelligent guy who almost has a PsyD degree in Clinical Psych. Hey, side projects could be anywhere at this point, right? So I realized that this was the first time in a long time that I didn't drag anyone else along with me. And besides being 'oddly attacked' by the cute coworker's exotic pet that he is training to be a therapy animal, I enjoyed going it alone.
Jobzilla:
I had a second interview last week that I feel probably will end with a 'thanks but we've hired internally' and I have another second interview with a different company on Friday. I am applying for more jobs like crazy and hope to just exit the rez field for a while. I have found solace in the NOC shift at work, though I am back on a regular schedule next week again. Some of the people I work with are really cool though, so at least I may gain another social group out of this poorly executed company. I give this place two more years...it's that bad.
Alright, nothing more to report except that if I had a Not So Good category this week, Amores Perros would be listed. I don't care if it is a great movie, I almost cried just seeing the dead dogs in the first few scenes and had to leave the room. Dog lovers beware...in my opinion, it's not for us.
Lastly, when I wrote a friend in October and told him that I was freaking about getting married, he wrote back and told me, "You're not ready. Break up, move home and find yourself." I didn't think that I needed to do the whole 'find yourself' bit, but it is clear to me that I'm doing just that right now. You know who you are if you told me this, so thanks for the advice...oh, and are you dead? Seriously man, where the hell are my emails?
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Mother's Day
So, Mother's Day is coming up. Reminders to celebrate are everywhere... newspaper ads, billboards, TV commercials, special issues of women's magazines devoted to the feat of motherhood. As I get older, I try to focus on the positives behind this day, but I still struggle a bit to do it.
Mother's Day is a holiday I have truly disliked my entire life because every year it's arrival meant that my mom was going to do something completely off the wall. One year, she decided to drink the day away and then smash Barbie's Getaway Condo because my sister and I were not letting our little brother play with us. I watched from halfway under my bed just baffled and confused. Interesting to say the least, but only topped every year after with more of the same. It generally became the day to slip a card under the door and just hide out or leave the house.
I was the last sibling to quit talking to my mom, sort of holding out for a glimmer of hope that she would turn around and become a 'normal' mother, whatever that may be. There were many more of the 'hide out or leave' days that I could handle, but after a few 'out there' situations that seriously made me feel as if I was compromising my own sanity and safety, I called it a day with her three years ago. People usually don't understand until they sit down and listen to a few stories about her. Many times, I have heard, "But she's your mom, you have to love her." But once they hear more, they realize I have the right idea.
Every now and then, I feel guilt about having no relationship with my mom. This is the woman I am supposed to cherish for the fact that she labored me into this world and raised me all by herself with no partner. The fact that my mom is not dead, but merely somewhere out there occasionally bothers me, but I quickly remember the toxicity of the relationship.
What I can do is appreciate that my mom made me who I am. Her flawed technique only helped to create my traits. I work my ass off, can find the light in any dark situation, and I prefer to be a peacemaker instead of a fighter. I admit that my wall can be unusually high, and my feelings can lie dormant until someone kicks them out of me. But for the most part, I get a lot of "How did you guys all turn out so normal?"
My sister is a mom now, and I have bought her cards for Mother's Day twice, but never sent them. She has the same dislike for the holiday that I do...but she is a great mom. I'm sure I will be too. Our mom's cycle won't continue because we're deathly committed to not letting that happen. And that is reason enough to celebrate.
Mother's Day is a holiday I have truly disliked my entire life because every year it's arrival meant that my mom was going to do something completely off the wall. One year, she decided to drink the day away and then smash Barbie's Getaway Condo because my sister and I were not letting our little brother play with us. I watched from halfway under my bed just baffled and confused. Interesting to say the least, but only topped every year after with more of the same. It generally became the day to slip a card under the door and just hide out or leave the house.
I was the last sibling to quit talking to my mom, sort of holding out for a glimmer of hope that she would turn around and become a 'normal' mother, whatever that may be. There were many more of the 'hide out or leave' days that I could handle, but after a few 'out there' situations that seriously made me feel as if I was compromising my own sanity and safety, I called it a day with her three years ago. People usually don't understand until they sit down and listen to a few stories about her. Many times, I have heard, "But she's your mom, you have to love her." But once they hear more, they realize I have the right idea.
Every now and then, I feel guilt about having no relationship with my mom. This is the woman I am supposed to cherish for the fact that she labored me into this world and raised me all by herself with no partner. The fact that my mom is not dead, but merely somewhere out there occasionally bothers me, but I quickly remember the toxicity of the relationship.
What I can do is appreciate that my mom made me who I am. Her flawed technique only helped to create my traits. I work my ass off, can find the light in any dark situation, and I prefer to be a peacemaker instead of a fighter. I admit that my wall can be unusually high, and my feelings can lie dormant until someone kicks them out of me. But for the most part, I get a lot of "How did you guys all turn out so normal?"
My sister is a mom now, and I have bought her cards for Mother's Day twice, but never sent them. She has the same dislike for the holiday that I do...but she is a great mom. I'm sure I will be too. Our mom's cycle won't continue because we're deathly committed to not letting that happen. And that is reason enough to celebrate.
Monday, April 18, 2005
One Long List of What's Up
Alright, this is my stab at a comp list of the good and not so good. I have added an end list just for my dating adventures, because then I don't have to tell stories to everyone individually, though I imagine I will.
GOOD
Finally watched City of God Saturday night before going out. While utterly frustrating and hard to watch for the reality factor, the redemption at the end was all I needed to see to know it was worth watching. On top of that, anything that revolves around journalism tends to captivate me because I still have that bug to go and get into it somehow.
NOC shifts at work are actually good. I already explained it, so need not again, but it was great to have no kids attempting power struggles and manipulations.
The sun was out today for a long time, and apparently, it's planning on sticking around. We all took a long walk tonight around the neighborhood and played on the playground. Bailey even learned to go down the slide. It was great.
This weekend, we hit the Pet Expo by Jantzen Beach. In addition to a free frisbee, food, and fun for Bailey, it was great to see that I am not the only person overly obsessed with my dog.
Sunday, I bowled my highest game ever of 134. Don't make fun of me, that is good considering my formless skills.
I finally had time to update my iPod, so now I have some great music from Al Green and Marvin Gaye, and I also added in a ton of one hit wonders. I find myself hitting the select button for 'Your Love' by The Outfield over and over...an odd obsession I know.
NOT SO GOOD
I am currently out of milk because I haven't made it down the street to the store. You know how hard this has got to be for me right? I actually poured a Slimfast type drink on my cereal tonight so that I could still eat it. Desperation comes in the oddest forms, especially when you are too tired to drive one measly mile to feed the need.
Little Black Book was one of the stupidest movies I have seen in a long time. You could tell that they attempted to make an epic 'coming of age' story, but failed miserably. I don't care if the cute Ron Livingston (Peter in Office Space, Burger in Sex and the City) was in it. Never watch this movie.
I slept in until 5:00 pm today because of that NOC shift. There went my day, so that would be the downside of that easy shift.
CUTE BOY
Alright, he gets the hmmm factor from me. Let's weigh, shall we.
Good: Has the spin around factor (the new requirement developed by Jess and I that to date me you must be able to pick me up and spin me around. Kind of a joke, but hey, why not use it to weed out the nonaffectionate punks...ohhh, I am so serious actually), OSU educated with a good job, fun to hang out with, quietly funny, athletic, and has the tall dark and handsome thing covered easily...very easily.
Not so good: Self proclaimed cat person (but his cat is cute and even shakes your hand for treats), favorite music is too terrifying to mention (but he likes to sing), and the brain is definitely more sport oriented than book oriented. Though, I like the active factor, you have to have the brain factor too to keep up.
I won't break out my 'Jump to Conclusions' mat quite yet on this one. But I am assuming that he'll be filed under...wait, now that would be jumping to conclusions wouldn't it?
Alright, the second interview awaits me tomorrow morning, so I am off to get more sleep.
GOOD
Finally watched City of God Saturday night before going out. While utterly frustrating and hard to watch for the reality factor, the redemption at the end was all I needed to see to know it was worth watching. On top of that, anything that revolves around journalism tends to captivate me because I still have that bug to go and get into it somehow.
NOC shifts at work are actually good. I already explained it, so need not again, but it was great to have no kids attempting power struggles and manipulations.
The sun was out today for a long time, and apparently, it's planning on sticking around. We all took a long walk tonight around the neighborhood and played on the playground. Bailey even learned to go down the slide. It was great.
This weekend, we hit the Pet Expo by Jantzen Beach. In addition to a free frisbee, food, and fun for Bailey, it was great to see that I am not the only person overly obsessed with my dog.
Sunday, I bowled my highest game ever of 134. Don't make fun of me, that is good considering my formless skills.
I finally had time to update my iPod, so now I have some great music from Al Green and Marvin Gaye, and I also added in a ton of one hit wonders. I find myself hitting the select button for 'Your Love' by The Outfield over and over...an odd obsession I know.
NOT SO GOOD
I am currently out of milk because I haven't made it down the street to the store. You know how hard this has got to be for me right? I actually poured a Slimfast type drink on my cereal tonight so that I could still eat it. Desperation comes in the oddest forms, especially when you are too tired to drive one measly mile to feed the need.
Little Black Book was one of the stupidest movies I have seen in a long time. You could tell that they attempted to make an epic 'coming of age' story, but failed miserably. I don't care if the cute Ron Livingston (Peter in Office Space, Burger in Sex and the City) was in it. Never watch this movie.
I slept in until 5:00 pm today because of that NOC shift. There went my day, so that would be the downside of that easy shift.
CUTE BOY
Alright, he gets the hmmm factor from me. Let's weigh, shall we.
Good: Has the spin around factor (the new requirement developed by Jess and I that to date me you must be able to pick me up and spin me around. Kind of a joke, but hey, why not use it to weed out the nonaffectionate punks...ohhh, I am so serious actually), OSU educated with a good job, fun to hang out with, quietly funny, athletic, and has the tall dark and handsome thing covered easily...very easily.
Not so good: Self proclaimed cat person (but his cat is cute and even shakes your hand for treats), favorite music is too terrifying to mention (but he likes to sing), and the brain is definitely more sport oriented than book oriented. Though, I like the active factor, you have to have the brain factor too to keep up.
I won't break out my 'Jump to Conclusions' mat quite yet on this one. But I am assuming that he'll be filed under...wait, now that would be jumping to conclusions wouldn't it?
Alright, the second interview awaits me tomorrow morning, so I am off to get more sleep.
Sleepy Thoughts on Balance
I somehow ended up on three overnite shifts at work for this week. Probably something to do with the "newbie" status I have (and did I mention that I remain painfully humbled by having to be entry level while I continue my job search?). Anyway, this shift runs 11:30 pm to 8:00 am, and I have officially been up for 24 hours. I actually didn't mind the shift...no kids, I got to read, write, and all I had to do was look at angelic sleeping teenagers. Sure, maybe they were cussing me out in their dreams, but at least my night was peaceful and easy.
So now, I admit I am tired. I would have slept in on Sunday morning, but the cute boy from Saturday night called and woke me up at 9:30 to remind me that I agreed to go bowling with him at 11:00. Ugh, six hours of sleep? But he's cute, so I headed out to meet him. My next goal was to recoup some lost sleep by heading home to hit the sack at 5:00. Nah, the day long adventures with cute boy ran well into the evening, so I was finally able to throw myself into bed around 10:00, but managed to only get about five minutes of shut eye before heading to work. The shift was remarkably painless...thanks Sobe energy drink and Strawberry Eggos.
Maybe it's time to rebalance right? Not yet. My goal in moving back was to get out of that SLC slump, and I still think the good has outweighed the bad despite quitting a good job and spending a ton of money to get my stuff here from SLC. I love being able to go out with my friends, see family, and I'm even tolerating the insane traffic. Sleep is a necessity that will knock me on my ass when it's ready. Actually, I think it is kicking me in the side right now, so I'm off.
So now, I admit I am tired. I would have slept in on Sunday morning, but the cute boy from Saturday night called and woke me up at 9:30 to remind me that I agreed to go bowling with him at 11:00. Ugh, six hours of sleep? But he's cute, so I headed out to meet him. My next goal was to recoup some lost sleep by heading home to hit the sack at 5:00. Nah, the day long adventures with cute boy ran well into the evening, so I was finally able to throw myself into bed around 10:00, but managed to only get about five minutes of shut eye before heading to work. The shift was remarkably painless...thanks Sobe energy drink and Strawberry Eggos.
Maybe it's time to rebalance right? Not yet. My goal in moving back was to get out of that SLC slump, and I still think the good has outweighed the bad despite quitting a good job and spending a ton of money to get my stuff here from SLC. I love being able to go out with my friends, see family, and I'm even tolerating the insane traffic. Sleep is a necessity that will knock me on my ass when it's ready. Actually, I think it is kicking me in the side right now, so I'm off.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Another Saturday Night, And...
Am I seriously writing in this right now? Uhh, yes. Why? Because I stripped all my smoky clothes off from the bar and threw them in the wash because something about smoke just irritated me tonight. Oh, and as most of you know, I have never had any kind of firsthand smoke enter my lungs, so I really hate it. So now, I get to wait to throw them in the dryer because I am not into that lull period of letting them sit in the wash bin until morning.
Anyway...tonight I went out on Hawthorne to Mulligans and met my friend Maureen. She has been away in grad school and I have been away in Utah for the last few years, so we had some catching up to do. A series of overlaps occurred, and overall, it was a good night. Here is the breakdown:
1) My friend Maureen's new boyfriend is right up there with great. I am so happy that she has a cool guy now. He's liberal, cute, and caring...thanks for blessing her with someone who is much more up to her speed than that manipulative and bratty ass of hers in college (don't worry, she agrees). Oh, and of course, I loved catching up with my Mortal Bean. She is great too.
2) A friend showed up from around the corner and I let him talk on my phone while I talked up a cute boy while playing inappropriate games on a video machine. Am I still being vague? Yeeeeeeees. Is there a reason? Sure. But just for the first part. But cute boy was cute and I had a fun night. Okay, I am always vague about this subject for myself too. I'll admit it.
3) This video thing was awful and hilarious, and at one point there were six of us trying to figure out what was "wrong" with a picture set. If you have no idea, I will not elaborate, but it was fun, I swear.
4) My kitchenette. Okay, tonight we didn't want to wake the teenager sleeping on the couch in our living room upstairs, so now there is a microwave plugged in and sitting on my dining room table downstairs. It is my official mini kitchen, and it made us laugh tonight.
5) My friends blog about garage sales had us rolling tonight for some reason...maybe it had to do with the many well drinks that we enjoyed, but anyway, thorough entertainment for the inebriated soul.
Okay, sleep and dry clothes await. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Anyway...tonight I went out on Hawthorne to Mulligans and met my friend Maureen. She has been away in grad school and I have been away in Utah for the last few years, so we had some catching up to do. A series of overlaps occurred, and overall, it was a good night. Here is the breakdown:
1) My friend Maureen's new boyfriend is right up there with great. I am so happy that she has a cool guy now. He's liberal, cute, and caring...thanks for blessing her with someone who is much more up to her speed than that manipulative and bratty ass of hers in college (don't worry, she agrees). Oh, and of course, I loved catching up with my Mortal Bean. She is great too.
2) A friend showed up from around the corner and I let him talk on my phone while I talked up a cute boy while playing inappropriate games on a video machine. Am I still being vague? Yeeeeeeees. Is there a reason? Sure. But just for the first part. But cute boy was cute and I had a fun night. Okay, I am always vague about this subject for myself too. I'll admit it.
3) This video thing was awful and hilarious, and at one point there were six of us trying to figure out what was "wrong" with a picture set. If you have no idea, I will not elaborate, but it was fun, I swear.
4) My kitchenette. Okay, tonight we didn't want to wake the teenager sleeping on the couch in our living room upstairs, so now there is a microwave plugged in and sitting on my dining room table downstairs. It is my official mini kitchen, and it made us laugh tonight.
5) My friends blog about garage sales had us rolling tonight for some reason...maybe it had to do with the many well drinks that we enjoyed, but anyway, thorough entertainment for the inebriated soul.
Okay, sleep and dry clothes await. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Searching for Non-Toxic Everything
I decided to pick up an extra shift tonight at the treatment center because I am close to having to say "I am poor" while I wait for the arrival of my paycheck from Oakley that has yet to arrive. Quite irritating to know I have money, but can't use it because it is lost in the mail somewhere between here and Utah. Even more irritating that I had auto deposit, but they decided that snail mail was the way to go for my final send off.
Sadly, I will have to miss having dinner with someone I have very little desire to meet, so the opportunity to work actually tilted to my advantage. When I mentioned to someone that I was going to meet this person, their snuffed and quick response was, "F**k (name here)!" Yeah, she doesn't seem to have a big fanclub at all, and I am looking to hang out with non-toxic people, so enough said.
And on the REAL job search...I have a second interview with a company in Salem, and the job has all the things I want right now...regular daytime hours, holidays and weekends off, a non-residential setting, good pay...everyone send me some good vibes please, because I can only take so many more kids telling me to f**k off because I tell them no. Yes, I would prefer to not deal with that again until I have kids of my own and I can ground them for it. Is that too much to ask?
Sadly, I will have to miss having dinner with someone I have very little desire to meet, so the opportunity to work actually tilted to my advantage. When I mentioned to someone that I was going to meet this person, their snuffed and quick response was, "F**k (name here)!" Yeah, she doesn't seem to have a big fanclub at all, and I am looking to hang out with non-toxic people, so enough said.
And on the REAL job search...I have a second interview with a company in Salem, and the job has all the things I want right now...regular daytime hours, holidays and weekends off, a non-residential setting, good pay...everyone send me some good vibes please, because I can only take so many more kids telling me to f**k off because I tell them no. Yes, I would prefer to not deal with that again until I have kids of my own and I can ground them for it. Is that too much to ask?
Monday, April 11, 2005
I Love Me Some Mapquest
If you have known me for a long time or even a short moment, you know that directions are not something that come easily to me. Granted, I am a smart and independent girl, but for some reason I have never grasped the ability to understand which way to go if you mention north, east, south, or west. Pointing is more my style, but the recent influx of job interviews that comes with relocating has me forced into mastering the Portland/Metro freeways and side streets...and "uhh, just go that way," is clearly not getting me to my final destinations.
Enter my new best friend, Mapquest. Oh how I love the instant gratification of entering in an address that is terribly unfamiliar to me, only to have it laid out, turn by turn, for my navigating pleasure. They even have little colored signs by each direction step now, which is oh so beneficial to my visual learning skills. My passenger seat is constantly littered with printed sheets on how to get to my friend's houses, interviews, the grocery store two miles away (pathetic, I know). Printing the 'reverse route' is equally important so that I can always find the way back to my new place... seriously, that has been somewhat difficult without Mappie's help at time.
I think that it may be time to pay better attention. I am still getting used to going slower than 80 mph everywhere and if I drove the posted speed limit, I would probably be able to internally map where I am going, thus ending the enmeshed relationship that I have with Mapquest. But then some bad Oregon driver would rear end my car, and I don't want to deal with that. So I think we will stay good friends for a little while longer.
Enter my new best friend, Mapquest. Oh how I love the instant gratification of entering in an address that is terribly unfamiliar to me, only to have it laid out, turn by turn, for my navigating pleasure. They even have little colored signs by each direction step now, which is oh so beneficial to my visual learning skills. My passenger seat is constantly littered with printed sheets on how to get to my friend's houses, interviews, the grocery store two miles away (pathetic, I know). Printing the 'reverse route' is equally important so that I can always find the way back to my new place... seriously, that has been somewhat difficult without Mappie's help at time.
I think that it may be time to pay better attention. I am still getting used to going slower than 80 mph everywhere and if I drove the posted speed limit, I would probably be able to internally map where I am going, thus ending the enmeshed relationship that I have with Mapquest. But then some bad Oregon driver would rear end my car, and I don't want to deal with that. So I think we will stay good friends for a little while longer.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
What the Fithifuh?
So yeah, I am still awake, though clearly to the point of nodding off. I felt the need to get on and write a little thing I would like to call "What the Fithifuh?"
Some of my girl friends in high school and college used to say this. Well, maybe just Aimee, and then she would explode into a fit of laughter, but it sums up my night.
Example 1: Cute, but socially awkward group of male species...lacking in skills such as buying the cute girls drinks immediately instead of two hours later. Yes, the science teacher was cute, with an almost Ph. D. and an internship in my dream job arena. But he had no f**king clue as to how typical male/female social norms operate. I could elaborate, but no. It was just...too odd. But it leads to the next example.
Example 2: The events supporting the first example can only be explained as bizarre and blah, so it is no wonder that I welcomed a few phone conversations with a much more captivating and sharper stick over the phone...once while the almost Ph. D. was off buying a round of drinks for us, and again after we busted out of that place. The talks this evening however were a little random, but entertaining and smile inducing as usual nonetheless. I was offered advice that I already know...and, I already heard him verbally kick himself a few days ago after delivering the sober version. But things are interesting and I could get a few days of in town entertainment. Oh, and I could once again elaborate, but no...it's my business as to what squares and cubes mean to this equation right now.
Example 3: I have promised to keep this a secret for now, so too bad you don't get to find out what should be written here, sorry. Clearly, I just can't elaborate right now.
Anyway...all of it just had me thinking 'What the fithifuh?' Things aren't a big deal enough to say "What the f**k?" but I feel the need to offer some insight into where it all came from. The mild confusion, humor, and entertainment felt was worth a night in Portland. So, I am officially ready to call it a night.
Some of my girl friends in high school and college used to say this. Well, maybe just Aimee, and then she would explode into a fit of laughter, but it sums up my night.
Example 1: Cute, but socially awkward group of male species...lacking in skills such as buying the cute girls drinks immediately instead of two hours later. Yes, the science teacher was cute, with an almost Ph. D. and an internship in my dream job arena. But he had no f**king clue as to how typical male/female social norms operate. I could elaborate, but no. It was just...too odd. But it leads to the next example.
Example 2: The events supporting the first example can only be explained as bizarre and blah, so it is no wonder that I welcomed a few phone conversations with a much more captivating and sharper stick over the phone...once while the almost Ph. D. was off buying a round of drinks for us, and again after we busted out of that place. The talks this evening however were a little random, but entertaining and smile inducing as usual nonetheless. I was offered advice that I already know...and, I already heard him verbally kick himself a few days ago after delivering the sober version. But things are interesting and I could get a few days of in town entertainment. Oh, and I could once again elaborate, but no...it's my business as to what squares and cubes mean to this equation right now.
Example 3: I have promised to keep this a secret for now, so too bad you don't get to find out what should be written here, sorry. Clearly, I just can't elaborate right now.
Anyway...all of it just had me thinking 'What the fithifuh?' Things aren't a big deal enough to say "What the f**k?" but I feel the need to offer some insight into where it all came from. The mild confusion, humor, and entertainment felt was worth a night in Portland. So, I am officially ready to call it a night.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Finally!
This morning I awoke from one of the most irritating dreams I have had in a long time to the sound of my phone ringing. Who was on the other end might you ask? DHS! They have finally called to offer me an interview for a position that works with teenagers in the foster care system. This may be a result of my consisent applying for every job referral they have sent me, including the ones I have little experience with, but this job is right up my alley, with the population age range I love, and work I am quite qualified to do. Better yet, it isn't in a residential setting, so I would have a nice change of pace.
Alright, back to the irritating dream...I was back in Utah splitting up stuff with Mike again, and my favorite plant wouldn't fit in my car or moving truck. Sadly this is a true story, and I am pissed that the loss is being rubbed into my dreams now. I am actually so annoyed that today I am going to go buy myself a huge new plant. In the meantime, Mike is holding onto my favorite plant so that I can pick it up when I roll through Utah again. Looks like I could get reunited with my Indian Rubber plant in June when I may head back to see my kids at Oakley graduate.
Alright, nothing more to say for now. Next up is a top ten list of my favorite soundtracks just because I feel the need to deviate away from my daily grind for a while.
Alright, back to the irritating dream...I was back in Utah splitting up stuff with Mike again, and my favorite plant wouldn't fit in my car or moving truck. Sadly this is a true story, and I am pissed that the loss is being rubbed into my dreams now. I am actually so annoyed that today I am going to go buy myself a huge new plant. In the meantime, Mike is holding onto my favorite plant so that I can pick it up when I roll through Utah again. Looks like I could get reunited with my Indian Rubber plant in June when I may head back to see my kids at Oakley graduate.
Alright, nothing more to say for now. Next up is a top ten list of my favorite soundtracks just because I feel the need to deviate away from my daily grind for a while.
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
About Time For the Good and Not So Again
Well, I kind of abandoned my list of the week for a while, so I have some catching up to do. But here is what is shaking up my world in good and not so good ways right now.
GOOD
While my job isn't spectacular, I am making money right now, and my first of two interviews for good jobs is tomorrow. I already mentioned this before, but hey, it has me feeling much more in control of my destiny at the moment, so yahoo.
Tonight, this two and a half year old neighbor girl came over and preceded to 'Elmyra' my dog Bailey. If you don't remember her from Tiny Toons, her line was "I will squeeze him and love him, and call him George." Now this is in the good category because Bailey just let her roll all over him, give repeated hugs, and she even practically jabbed his eyes out with her tiny fingers. He just sat their with his dopey happy pant and lapped up the attention instead of making her into a snack. Phew!
I have almost finished organizing my new place. It is so nice to not have to tumble over things, and I can actually find items I need to use. Ahh, the simple things in life.
My buddy Jon is planning trip to Oregon in the near future. Good, of course. He is a blast to hang out with and one of my best friends.
NOT SO GOOD
Bailey has a new best friend. My friend Jess's sixteen year old sister Raquel is living with us right now, and she is home all day with him while she works on homework and looks for employment. He has expressed his excitement for my return from work everyday with a full body wag at the door, but then he quickly scampers off, toy in mouth, to find Raquel. I see him again around bed time when he tiredly plops on my bed. Okay, this is actually good that he has companionship because I was genuinely worried about his transition and him having to be alone all day. And their new relationship appears to have staying power, so they should live happily ever after in my working hours.
I have been slacking when it comes to seeing everyone I want to see and doing everything I want to do. So Dad, I'll be calling soon, and sushi, I will be partaking in your Pacific Coast freshness too. Oh and of course, Cilitini, we will be coming to Aura to catch a round of you. The busy first week had me feeling like a hermit, so I am ready to bust out of the shell and do the things that I moved back to enjoy.
I have an interview at 11:30 tomorrow and I am still awake and honestly a little unprepared. So since this clearly rounds out the 'not so good' category, I am going to go and get it all together so that I can wow them with my mad social service skills tomorrow.
Oh, and despite the daily dose of rain, I am liking the moderate weather here. Just worth mentioning because it had me a little worried. The sun seems to be hanging in there though, just like me.
GOOD
While my job isn't spectacular, I am making money right now, and my first of two interviews for good jobs is tomorrow. I already mentioned this before, but hey, it has me feeling much more in control of my destiny at the moment, so yahoo.
Tonight, this two and a half year old neighbor girl came over and preceded to 'Elmyra' my dog Bailey. If you don't remember her from Tiny Toons, her line was "I will squeeze him and love him, and call him George." Now this is in the good category because Bailey just let her roll all over him, give repeated hugs, and she even practically jabbed his eyes out with her tiny fingers. He just sat their with his dopey happy pant and lapped up the attention instead of making her into a snack. Phew!
I have almost finished organizing my new place. It is so nice to not have to tumble over things, and I can actually find items I need to use. Ahh, the simple things in life.
My buddy Jon is planning trip to Oregon in the near future. Good, of course. He is a blast to hang out with and one of my best friends.
NOT SO GOOD
Bailey has a new best friend. My friend Jess's sixteen year old sister Raquel is living with us right now, and she is home all day with him while she works on homework and looks for employment. He has expressed his excitement for my return from work everyday with a full body wag at the door, but then he quickly scampers off, toy in mouth, to find Raquel. I see him again around bed time when he tiredly plops on my bed. Okay, this is actually good that he has companionship because I was genuinely worried about his transition and him having to be alone all day. And their new relationship appears to have staying power, so they should live happily ever after in my working hours.
I have been slacking when it comes to seeing everyone I want to see and doing everything I want to do. So Dad, I'll be calling soon, and sushi, I will be partaking in your Pacific Coast freshness too. Oh and of course, Cilitini, we will be coming to Aura to catch a round of you. The busy first week had me feeling like a hermit, so I am ready to bust out of the shell and do the things that I moved back to enjoy.
I have an interview at 11:30 tomorrow and I am still awake and honestly a little unprepared. So since this clearly rounds out the 'not so good' category, I am going to go and get it all together so that I can wow them with my mad social service skills tomorrow.
Oh, and despite the daily dose of rain, I am liking the moderate weather here. Just worth mentioning because it had me a little worried. The sun seems to be hanging in there though, just like me.
Monday, April 04, 2005
My Bro and Some Other Randomness
I started my new job today. Waking up at 5:55 am to hit the shower and the road was easier than expected, but the job isn't exactly one I can see myself at for the long run...the kids are 50 times more squirrelly than my last bunch and I kind of felt like a glorified baby sitter most of the day...the kids here are so bold as to staff split right in front of the one who said no to them and every other word out of their mouths was 'f**k' this and 's**t' that. So it is a good thing I scored interviews with two more companies today. They are both in the social service industry, but much more up my pay alley and level of interest. I also keep getting solicited for jobs with DHS, so I just keep plunking out the prelims in hopes of finding one that is the right fit for me.
New on my agenda is the whole living life bit. I felt that my casa and job search was in order enough for me to take a night off this past Saturday and head to my hometown. I am from Salem (or So Lame as I like to call it), and going back always creates a little anxiety in me for some reason. Maybe it is the fear of running into ex-boyfriends, memories of living with my mom, or just having to use Lancaster Avenue to get every where...I just don't like the place much.
But anyway, I started the evening by heading out with my brother, Jay. He has ADD so bad that he should probably still be taking that Ritalin he started to refuse after the age of sixteen. He gets excited about something and you can see the wheels peeling out in his head at warp speed. It works to his advantage though. He just bought a car for $600 and turned around and sold it three weeks later for $3900, rents a two story townhouse alone that can only be described as a pimp pad, and has several cute girls calling at any given time. While out to dinner, he pointed out to his best friend, "If I had my sister's blue eyes, the girls would love me more." I like seeing glimpses of that adoring brother. I had a boyfriend demand that I get him something once and Jay jumped down his throat with "Don't ever talk to my sister that way." Hell yeah bro.
This got off track. All I can say is that Salem is an interesting place. I love my friends and family there, but I hope they come up to visit me more often. Portland is a much more fun to bounce around in. Oh, and I swear I'll get writing on some more interesting things eventually. It's only been a week though, so I'm still settling in. One weekend out in Portland should give me something to dish on. Stay tuned.
New on my agenda is the whole living life bit. I felt that my casa and job search was in order enough for me to take a night off this past Saturday and head to my hometown. I am from Salem (or So Lame as I like to call it), and going back always creates a little anxiety in me for some reason. Maybe it is the fear of running into ex-boyfriends, memories of living with my mom, or just having to use Lancaster Avenue to get every where...I just don't like the place much.
But anyway, I started the evening by heading out with my brother, Jay. He has ADD so bad that he should probably still be taking that Ritalin he started to refuse after the age of sixteen. He gets excited about something and you can see the wheels peeling out in his head at warp speed. It works to his advantage though. He just bought a car for $600 and turned around and sold it three weeks later for $3900, rents a two story townhouse alone that can only be described as a pimp pad, and has several cute girls calling at any given time. While out to dinner, he pointed out to his best friend, "If I had my sister's blue eyes, the girls would love me more." I like seeing glimpses of that adoring brother. I had a boyfriend demand that I get him something once and Jay jumped down his throat with "Don't ever talk to my sister that way." Hell yeah bro.
This got off track. All I can say is that Salem is an interesting place. I love my friends and family there, but I hope they come up to visit me more often. Portland is a much more fun to bounce around in. Oh, and I swear I'll get writing on some more interesting things eventually. It's only been a week though, so I'm still settling in. One weekend out in Portland should give me something to dish on. Stay tuned.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
